Hello, I'm new here. My name is Laura. I just turned thirty.
I'm having an extremely hard time with being single. I have never been on a date. I used to think it was because of my weight, but I see much bigger women with people all the time. I've watched my best friends date, get engaged, marry, have a baby, have another, and so on. And I used to think that I would be blessed with that, too. But here I am.
I've had some close friends tell me I need to focus on God only. I understand that. But I'm human. I struggle with the fact that marriage is an idol for me. I have surrendered it in prayer over and over again. I've prayed for God to take away the desire for marriage if it's not in His will for me. And nothing.
And lately, I have been turning my back on God. I feel like He won't answer my prayers at all. I'm just... at the end of my rope.
i'm sorry to hear of your pain...you are not alone. Everyone has their own struggle and a large number of folks are overweight nowadays. My main problem is being a short man @5'6". You can try a diet/workout regimen, but the main point is to take hold of the Lord with all your soul. Satan loves to bring us down and we tend to let him hold us there. I wasted many years hanging out with "friends" that "weren't", doing things to be "cool" and none of which paid off. Was getting spiritual back 20 years ago, but my "friends" took me down, had all the guys at work giving me junk about not having a woman. So my opportunity came along, she was not what I needed as a spiritual person, but I tried way too hard to keep it together, just to finally be who everyone thought I should be. I got a wonderful daughter out of all that, but also made a drunk butt of myself once to my wife's ex's friends early in our relationship. Someone got it on tape and brought me down with it at work. Its amazing what Satan can do, especially when he gets your friends involved. He is very powerful if you let him.
But the bible says Satan's fate is already sealed. Ultimately my marriage didn't work out, as my wife was attracted to crappy people.
You need to take God with all your heart. Let him direct you into a hobby or group of people you can grow genuinely happy around. Live your life, in Christ and eventually good things will come. Take it from me, "do not be conformed of this world" was never truer...Satan's butt-whoopin' is coming, he's just trying to bring God's children down along the way. Do what you want to do in your life as God would want you to do. Ask him in prayer. Many times, as I did long ago, we pray for a miracle when what he wants is for us to let Him in, and make some true effort on our own, with is wisdom. Prayers to you...