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I should be just be my good, quiet self and not make a fuss, but this really wrapped my wonton. FireWire, please do not insult Chandler.
From what I've seen, he's kind, encouraging, willing to listen to and understand things from other's perspectives, and very respectful, even when others disagree with him. I can't really say that about any of your posts.
You can't expect every man to be bitter, cynical, and hard-hearted like yourself, so please don't talk down to him. A state of self-proclaimed apathy does not equal wisdom. (And, when someone claims not to care but has so much to say over and over about certain key topics, it means they really do care. A LOT. Because if they didn't, they wouldn't keep repeating themselves.)
When I see guys like Chandler, I want to hug them and somehow preserve their hearts... because I want to tell them, "Don't listen to any one who cuts you down because you still believe and they don't."
J
There might have been questions about this from BOTH MEN AND WOMEN and I figured it was time to share about it too. Before I share another line though, it’s important that I begin with a few things and get some things out of the way.
A) This article is mainly for mature Christian single women. Mature. Christian. Women. Why? Because Girls might get offended or not understand but a mature Christian woman will probably get it and take the knowledge - Where does maturity lie? Does it go to age, experience, self-knowledge? Can i consider myself matured referring to all these? Answer me later if you consider me, a matured woman.
I'm 44 years old, a happy single, and have my own enterprise. I have experienced consecutive deaths in the family. I have had traumas and committed lots of error in the past. I've learned the easiest and hardest way of life.
I believe in our Sovereign God. I believe that I'm a sinner and Jesus is my redeemer.
B) A woman’s relationship status does not define her, so being single is not a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with her. So this article is not to list a bunch of reasons why you are at fault for not being married …as if marriage was something you just bought at the store. I wouldn’t do that. I respect and care about women’s issues more than there is space to write about here. As a daughter of God, he is working out your story beautifully, so bask in that. This is however, for Christian ladies who are ready for marriage but frustrated that they can’t find the right guy even though there seems to be options.- Please allow me to rephrase this. This is however, for Christian ladies who desires to be married but frustrated that they can't find the right guy.... If they are ready they cannot be frustrated. Do you think a lady who can't control her emotion of being frustrated is ready? I don't think so. And you are right, God is working out matured ladies' love story beautifully.
C) I write this respectfully but I will write it as honestly as possible as a man and as someone who knows a thing or two about relationships. I’ll tell you probably like no one has told you before. So the tone may be a bit direct not because I am brash but because I am writing to Women and not girls and one thing I know about women is that contrary to the opinion that they want you to beat around the bush, when it comes to things that are really important, they want you to tell them like it is. They would rather know now, shed a tear or two and start working ASAP to move out, move up, move on or move forward so they don’t waste more time doing the same thing and not getting the outcomes they want.- in case you forgot, you have already stated your point about this in letter 'a', so please beat around the bush, and don't explain much as you did here in letter 'c'. Remember, you want readers as matured ladies. They got your point, no redundancy needed.
D) All your single girlfriends AND male friends should read this.
So here we go. Why can’t our wonderful Christian sisters find their Boaz, David or Joseph?
1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue:
Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish.
These men would have had a rough time finding a wife today. Could you imagine?
Abraham calling sister Sarah aside after church and saying “Errrmmm Sarah you know I love you right? Soooo God wants to take us somewhere …but I have no idea where. Wanna marry me and come?”
David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.”
Or Joseph. “Look Jill, God has shown me many dreams that people will bow down to me and I’ll be a great leader. But right now I wash dishes in Potiphar’s house and I’m a slave boy there”
God’s men don’t “always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out!
Here is the solution though…..here is the good news. Here is what you SHOULD be looking for: Men who can be LED by God. (Rom 8:14) Don’t look for a man who already has the best laid plans. Look for one who knows how to follow directions from the best planner. - I rather be with someone who knows how to listen, i mean truly listen and negotiate than lead me just for the sake of leading. And uncertainty is not a bad thing, but when it comes to major decisions in life like getting married - you should know better to be prepared and plan. Don't be like 'Mang Juan', lying on the grass, mouth opened and waiting for a guava to fall. (Just an illustration, my brother )
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man may not know exactly where he is going but he knows how to follow God- explain further, when you said not know exactly where he is going, did you mean not know the result? but know how to follow? Or just follow and give the outcome to God? As a follower of Jesus, even we don't know it exactly, we still have to plan, we still have to be open to alternatives. And it doesn't matter if you know or do not know... matured women want you to care more rather than knowing. How much you care, bate? How much you care to go uncertain? How much you care to follow Jesus on the cross? How much you care to be patient for those women who are frustrated to be married?
2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here)They don’t want to put themselves out there at all.
They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.
You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut?
In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God’s will for their future but they are lying. They don’t. They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get. How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out…
But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed. I have met some who had it all but God insisted they give it up to go and further the gospel.
v If you want a Boaz, David or Joseph, you’re going to have to have to be ok not having everything perfectly figured out. - Well perhaps, they are looking for the rare gems just as you do. Simply moderate and balance needed for criterion. If we can have low risk - high reward, should we feel bad? But then, i'm beginning to doubt if you're describing or pertaining to a CHRISTIAN LADY.
3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non-romantic, non-spiritual values: - I rather we both set-off at the bottom and work together with fun! Not someone has and someone has not. Only if their values come from capriciousness, that’s not a Christian way.
Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on.
One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work.
That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.
Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3)
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows it takes a lot more than butterflies and date nights to fulfill God’s mandate for his family.
4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: - I don’t call criteria of godly standards to man as pre-qualifying or pre-leads. I regarded them merely major requirements for a future leadership in the household.
This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that
** More about this, coming too in the first comment I’m going to make below…..
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man …spends a long time NOT looking like the Boaz, David or Joseph the world will eventually come to know.
5. Good Christian men know their worth too and don’t want to settle either:
Yea ladies…men are understanding their worth a bit more too Christian men are getting more and more comfortable attending relationship seminars and getting information about seeking God’s face for a wife. They are realizing how powerful of an impact a wife has on the outcome of their lives and ministry, and they are spending more time trying to see what is beneath the surface. They know that a woman can make or break everything. They realize that a woman’s desires can accelerate him towards purpose or derail him.
They are praying more and they are realizing that while you still remain a prize, they too are precious in God’s eyes and want to do right by him. They are realizing that a wife can make or break a man.
Yes they are praying for a Ruth but they are also praying against Delilah as well.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows his worth too.
6. Many Christian ladies have no testimony with men:
A few years ago, an older friend (a number of years older than me) came up to me after a church program and asked me about a lady in my church. Who she was and what she was like as a person.
I didn’t stop talking for minutes. They were married about a year later.
Same thing happened to Ruth. (Ruth Chapter 2 from Vs 3) Boaz came back from a trip, saw Ruth and asked his Foreman “Who is that and who does she belong to”, to which the foreman answered and gave a fantastic testimony of her character. (See Boaz’s response in Vs 11)
Here is a secret ladies, you know how you like a guy and try to keep it to yourself until your girlfriends force a confession out of you? We guys don’t do that. The moment we think we are interested in you, we are telling someone and we are asking around about you….and we are asking our MALE friends/mentors. Because we know they will tell us like it is and of course won’t spread it all around church and make things suddenly awkward or cause all the sisters to start giving the dirty eye next Sunday. Bro code.
The truth is that even Christian ladies can be toxic sometimes when it comes to how they treat men who they don’t consider a prospect. You forget that when the real prospect comes and is interested in you, he will ask other men…some who may never have approached you but who have watched you from afar, and yes some who may have had an interest in you but you didn’t like. How did you handle those situations? (You totally need to read that article link above…especially the 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] part of that series)
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man looks deeper than the surface beauty. They look for testimonies of the woman’s character.
7. Many Christian women want a Proverbs 31 Man:
That’s not a typo. Pick up your Bible and read Proverbs 31 again with fresh eyes… from the perspective of the character of that woman…and you will see that those qualities are the ones that many women are looking for in a man when they should be busy developing those qualities themselves.
Single Christian men are reading that passage looking for those qualities in a woman, and women are putting that passage down and instead looking for those qualities in a man.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man has read Proverbs 31 and wants her.
8. Many Christian ladies want to be married but they are not truly ready to be led:
They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by his representative in the home. What I am about to say next I say with the utmost respect to women.
Men were created to lead at home. Now, that leadership comes with accountability to God meaning that God holds him accountable and will punish him first for bad leadership. But a man cannot be accountable for a woman he can’t lead….and a Christian man does not want to be over anything he can’t be accountable to God about.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man is a great servant leader as Jesus Christ…but he is a born leader and he knows it.
9. Many young married Christian women are painting a fairytale picture of marriage to their single ladies
Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single women. These young married women create a fairytale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man) and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows that the wedding is not the marriage and doeasn’t want to create an impression he can’t maintain.
So…start/join the conversation below. Which one of the points resonated with you? Was it an eye opener? Were there any surprises on the list? Any additional thoughts?
Share those comments below.
A) This article is mainly for mature Christian single women. Mature. Christian. Women. Why? Because Girls might get offended or not understand but a mature Christian woman will probably get it and take the knowledge - Where does maturity lie? Does it go to age, experience, self-knowledge? Can i consider myself matured referring to all these? Answer me later if you consider me, a matured woman.
I'm 44 years old, a happy single, and have my own enterprise. I have experienced consecutive deaths in the family. I have had traumas and committed lots of error in the past. I've learned the easiest and hardest way of life.
I believe in our Sovereign God. I believe that I'm a sinner and Jesus is my redeemer.
B) A woman’s relationship status does not define her, so being single is not a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with her. So this article is not to list a bunch of reasons why you are at fault for not being married …as if marriage was something you just bought at the store. I wouldn’t do that. I respect and care about women’s issues more than there is space to write about here. As a daughter of God, he is working out your story beautifully, so bask in that. This is however, for Christian ladies who are ready for marriage but frustrated that they can’t find the right guy even though there seems to be options.- Please allow me to rephrase this. This is however, for Christian ladies who desires to be married but frustrated that they can't find the right guy.... If they are ready they cannot be frustrated. Do you think a lady who can't control her emotion of being frustrated is ready? I don't think so. And you are right, God is working out matured ladies' love story beautifully.
C) I write this respectfully but I will write it as honestly as possible as a man and as someone who knows a thing or two about relationships. I’ll tell you probably like no one has told you before. So the tone may be a bit direct not because I am brash but because I am writing to Women and not girls and one thing I know about women is that contrary to the opinion that they want you to beat around the bush, when it comes to things that are really important, they want you to tell them like it is. They would rather know now, shed a tear or two and start working ASAP to move out, move up, move on or move forward so they don’t waste more time doing the same thing and not getting the outcomes they want.- in case you forgot, you have already stated your point about this in letter 'a', so please beat around the bush, and don't explain much as you did here in letter 'c'. Remember, you want readers as matured ladies. They got your point, no redundancy needed.
D) All your single girlfriends AND male friends should read this.
So here we go. Why can’t our wonderful Christian sisters find their Boaz, David or Joseph?
1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue:
Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish.
These men would have had a rough time finding a wife today. Could you imagine?
Abraham calling sister Sarah aside after church and saying “Errrmmm Sarah you know I love you right? Soooo God wants to take us somewhere …but I have no idea where. Wanna marry me and come?”
David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.”
Or Joseph. “Look Jill, God has shown me many dreams that people will bow down to me and I’ll be a great leader. But right now I wash dishes in Potiphar’s house and I’m a slave boy there”
God’s men don’t “always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out!
Here is the solution though…..here is the good news. Here is what you SHOULD be looking for: Men who can be LED by God. (Rom 8:14) Don’t look for a man who already has the best laid plans. Look for one who knows how to follow directions from the best planner. - I rather be with someone who knows how to listen, i mean truly listen and negotiate than lead me just for the sake of leading. And uncertainty is not a bad thing, but when it comes to major decisions in life like getting married - you should know better to be prepared and plan. Don't be like 'Mang Juan', lying on the grass, mouth opened and waiting for a guava to fall. (Just an illustration, my brother
)v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man may not know exactly where he is going but he knows how to follow God- explain further, when you said not know exactly where he is going, did you mean not know the result? but know how to follow? Or just follow and give the outcome to God? As a follower of Jesus, even we don't know it exactly, we still have to plan, we still have to be open to alternatives. And it doesn't matter if you know or do not know... matured women want you to care more rather than knowing. How much you care, bate? How much you care to go uncertain? How much you care to follow Jesus on the cross? How much you care to be patient for those women who are frustrated to be married?
2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here)They don’t want to put themselves out there at all.
They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.
You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut?
In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God’s will for their future but they are lying. They don’t. They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get. How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out…
But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed. I have met some who had it all but God insisted they give it up to go and further the gospel.
v If you want a Boaz, David or Joseph, you’re going to have to have to be ok not having everything perfectly figured out. - Well perhaps, they are looking for the rare gems just as you do. Simply moderate and balance needed for criterion. If we can have low risk - high reward, should we feel bad? But then, i'm beginning to doubt if you're describing or pertaining to a CHRISTIAN LADY.
3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non-romantic, non-spiritual values: - I rather we both set-off at the bottom and work together with fun! Not someone has and someone has not. Only if their values come from capriciousness, that’s not a Christian way.
Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on.
One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work.
That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.
Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3)
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows it takes a lot more than butterflies and date nights to fulfill God’s mandate for his family.
4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: - I don’t call criteria of godly standards to man as pre-qualifying or pre-leads. I regarded them merely major requirements for a future leadership in the household.
This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that
** More about this, coming too in the first comment I’m going to make below…..
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man …spends a long time NOT looking like the Boaz, David or Joseph the world will eventually come to know.
5. Good Christian men know their worth too and don’t want to settle either:
Yea ladies…men are understanding their worth a bit more too Christian men are getting more and more comfortable attending relationship seminars and getting information about seeking God’s face for a wife. They are realizing how powerful of an impact a wife has on the outcome of their lives and ministry, and they are spending more time trying to see what is beneath the surface. They know that a woman can make or break everything. They realize that a woman’s desires can accelerate him towards purpose or derail him.
They are praying more and they are realizing that while you still remain a prize, they too are precious in God’s eyes and want to do right by him. They are realizing that a wife can make or break a man.
Yes they are praying for a Ruth but they are also praying against Delilah as well.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows his worth too.
6. Many Christian ladies have no testimony with men:
A few years ago, an older friend (a number of years older than me) came up to me after a church program and asked me about a lady in my church. Who she was and what she was like as a person.
I didn’t stop talking for minutes. They were married about a year later.
Same thing happened to Ruth. (Ruth Chapter 2 from Vs 3) Boaz came back from a trip, saw Ruth and asked his Foreman “Who is that and who does she belong to”, to which the foreman answered and gave a fantastic testimony of her character. (See Boaz’s response in Vs 11)
Here is a secret ladies, you know how you like a guy and try to keep it to yourself until your girlfriends force a confession out of you? We guys don’t do that. The moment we think we are interested in you, we are telling someone and we are asking around about you….and we are asking our MALE friends/mentors. Because we know they will tell us like it is and of course won’t spread it all around church and make things suddenly awkward or cause all the sisters to start giving the dirty eye next Sunday. Bro code.
The truth is that even Christian ladies can be toxic sometimes when it comes to how they treat men who they don’t consider a prospect. You forget that when the real prospect comes and is interested in you, he will ask other men…some who may never have approached you but who have watched you from afar, and yes some who may have had an interest in you but you didn’t like. How did you handle those situations? (You totally need to read that article link above…especially the 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] part of that series)
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man looks deeper than the surface beauty. They look for testimonies of the woman’s character.
7. Many Christian women want a Proverbs 31 Man:
That’s not a typo. Pick up your Bible and read Proverbs 31 again with fresh eyes… from the perspective of the character of that woman…and you will see that those qualities are the ones that many women are looking for in a man when they should be busy developing those qualities themselves.
Single Christian men are reading that passage looking for those qualities in a woman, and women are putting that passage down and instead looking for those qualities in a man.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man has read Proverbs 31 and wants her.
8. Many Christian ladies want to be married but they are not truly ready to be led:
They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by his representative in the home. What I am about to say next I say with the utmost respect to women.
Men were created to lead at home. Now, that leadership comes with accountability to God meaning that God holds him accountable and will punish him first for bad leadership. But a man cannot be accountable for a woman he can’t lead….and a Christian man does not want to be over anything he can’t be accountable to God about.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man is a great servant leader as Jesus Christ…but he is a born leader and he knows it.
9. Many young married Christian women are painting a fairytale picture of marriage to their single ladies
Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single women. These young married women create a fairytale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man) and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth.
v The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows that the wedding is not the marriage and doeasn’t want to create an impression he can’t maintain.
So…start/join the conversation below. Which one of the points resonated with you? Was it an eye opener? Were there any surprises on the list? Any additional thoughts?
Share those comments below.
Isn’t it ironic when you asked which points resonated and which is an eye opener? Why should a matured woman need an eye opener? Seems to me that you encountered immature attitudes of mature women and may I ask, are you bitter about it? You strongly stated your points.
Anyway, these are all opinions. As tourist said, chill out!
R
Article was garbage.
For nature women? Insulting.
Use of biblical characters to make the authors point: so many stretches. And I'm certain Joseph especially is spinning in his grave.
Makes me pissed that its phrased
as a helpful article for women. If I was a proposed audience I couldn't swallow that with the biggest most delicious bowl of icecream ever.
I'm sorry to the proposed audience of the article.
For nature women? Insulting.
Use of biblical characters to make the authors point: so many stretches. And I'm certain Joseph especially is spinning in his grave.
Makes me pissed that its phrased
as a helpful article for women. If I was a proposed audience I couldn't swallow that with the biggest most delicious bowl of icecream ever.
I'm sorry to the proposed audience of the article.
The article is ridiculous, but I enjoyed the discussion on a husband's leadership in marriage. I spy several men in this thread who seem to have a biblically grounded and all-around-awesome view of how God intended husband's to lead. I have so much respect for men who lead with humility and a quiet strength. Men who lead by serving and by setting the example of godliness, rather than by shoving their authority down the throats of those whom they lead.
I have experienced this type of gentle yet inspiring leadership from both my father and my fiancé. They are honest, humble, and always looking out for others. As others have said, they treat leadership as a responsibility rather than a right. They exemplify submission by submitting themselves to Christ and to authority in the church, and it's that type of attitude that makes me feel really safe (and eager) to follow and support them.
I'm just really thankful to call you guys my brothers!
I have experienced this type of gentle yet inspiring leadership from both my father and my fiancé. They are honest, humble, and always looking out for others. As others have said, they treat leadership as a responsibility rather than a right. They exemplify submission by submitting themselves to Christ and to authority in the church, and it's that type of attitude that makes me feel really safe (and eager) to follow and support them.
I'm just really thankful to call you guys my brothers!
This article is for mature women with immature attitudes.
Isn’t it ironic when you asked which points resonated and which is an eye opener? Why should a ma ured woman need an eye opener? Seems to me that you encountered immature attitudes of mature women and may I ask, are you bitter about it? You strongly stated your points.
Anyway, these are all opinions. As tourist said, chill out!
what if you're an immature woman with mature attitudes?
i guess i am exempt. *phew*
King Solomon described and/or collected the description of the Proverbs 31 Woman AND the Proverbial Man of Noble Character.
Proverbial Man of Noble Character - "that's not a typo. Please pick up your Bible and read" the ENTIRE book of Proverbs - not just the verses that you think apply to women, and you"ll discover that the book of Proverbs also contains the description for a Man of Noble Character.
It's perfectly fine and acceptable for a single man to seek a Woman of Noble Character to marry. However, it's also fine and acceptable for a single women to rely on the description of the Proverbial Man of Noble Character to help her vet potential marriage partners. After all, the book of Proverbs wasn't written to men about women, but the book of Proverbs was written for the ENTIRE body of Christ.
Man of Noble Character found scattered throughout the book of Proverbs
A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. Pr 1:5
Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Pr 9:8
Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning. Pr 9:9
...a man of understanding holds his peace. Pro11:12
The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered. Pr 11:25
A good man will obtain favor from the LORD. Pr 12:2
A wise man is he who listens to counsel. Pr 12:15
A prudent man overlooks an insult. Pr 12:16
A righteous man hates falsehood... Pr 13:5
Every prudent man acts with knowledge. Pr 13:16
He who walks with wise men will be wise. Pr 13:20
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. Pr 13:22
The sensible man considers his steps. Pr 14:15
A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil. Pr 14:16
He who is slow to anger has great understanding. Pr 14:29
A man of understanding walks straight. Pr 15:21
...he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Pr 17:27.
What is desirable in a man is his kindness. Pr 19:22
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers Pr 19:14
A righteous man who walks in his integrity-- How blessed are his sons after him. Pr 20:7
A wise man scales the city of the mighty And brings down the stronghold in which they trust. Pr 21:22
A prudent man sees danger, and hides himself... Pr 22:3, 27:12
A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. Pr 24:5
For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, But the wicked stumble in time of calamity. Pr 24:16
A faithful man will abound with blessings, But he who makes haste to be rich will not go unpunished. Pr 28:20
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Pr 29:11
... is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Pr 31:23
Of course, those verses are for women too. Likewise, many of the attributes used to describe the Pr 31 woman apply to men too.
Many of the "qualities" listed in Pr 31 are mutual; they apply to men too.
She will do him good ... (v.12).
As believers, men and women are admonished to "do good" to our enemies (Lu 6:27, 35).
Christian men and women are admonished to "do good" and to share with others (He 13:16).
She ... works with eager hands (v.13).
Christian men and women are called to live a quiet lives, mind our business and "work with our hands" ... (1 Th 4:11).
She ... does not eat the bread of idleness (v.27).
Paul proclaimed the value of hard work and sternly warned men and women not to be idle (2 Th 3:6-12).
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (v.26).
The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just (Ps 37:30).
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (v.20).
Christian men and women are called to care for the poor and needy (Ma 25:34-40).
Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable and Biblical for a single Christian woman to desire, wait and pray for a husband who will do her good, work with his hands, isn't idle, speak with wisdom and care for the poor. So, if a single Christian woman is desiring, waiting and praying for a Christian man with some of the "qualities" listed in Pr 31, that's perfectly okay.
Absolutely. Women should develop Godly character and so should men. I just wonder if after all that you said in your OP if you are busy developing the mutual characteristics listed in Pr 31 - doing good to others, working with your hands, not being idle, speaking with wisdom and caring for the poor.
After all that you said in the OP and various comments on this thread, I wonder if you are busy becoming a Man of Noble Character as listed throughout Proverbs.
She will do him good ... (v.12).
As believers, men and women are admonished to "do good" to our enemies (Lu 6:27, 35).
Christian men and women are admonished to "do good" and to share with others (He 13:16).
She ... works with eager hands (v.13).
Christian men and women are called to live a quiet lives, mind our business and "work with our hands" ... (1 Th 4:11).
She ... does not eat the bread of idleness (v.27).
Paul proclaimed the value of hard work and sternly warned men and women not to be idle (2 Th 3:6-12).
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (v.26).
The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just (Ps 37:30).
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (v.20).
Christian men and women are called to care for the poor and needy (Ma 25:34-40).
Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable and Biblical for a single Christian woman to desire, wait and pray for a husband who will do her good, work with his hands, isn't idle, speak with wisdom and care for the poor. So, if a single Christian woman is desiring, waiting and praying for a Christian man with some of the "qualities" listed in Pr 31, that's perfectly okay.
Absolutely. Women should develop Godly character and so should men. I just wonder if after all that you said in your OP if you are busy developing the mutual characteristics listed in Pr 31 - doing good to others, working with your hands, not being idle, speaking with wisdom and caring for the poor.
After all that you said in the OP and various comments on this thread, I wonder if you are busy becoming a Man of Noble Character as listed throughout Proverbs.
G
I generally agree...; however...
It actually is - both a "right" ( in a sense ) and a responsibility. And, each has its part. Because, God has ordained it. God has placed the responsibility on the man ( to which the man is accountable to God ) -- and, the "right" - in the form of the authority required to carry out the responsibility -- follows by necessity. The two "naturally go together"...
Of course, proper "balance of focus" is necessary, also.
Good leadership always serves ( promotes confidence and trust ) and obtains ( maintains order and direction ).
There is nothing wrong with either. They are both "healthy" to a leader-follower relationship.
The follower is encouraged by the service of the leader -- and the leader need not 'invoke' his authority. However, if the follower rebells, the leader must 'invoke' his authority to preserve the relationship.
It is all about having the proper 'balance'...
The husband is commanded by God to 'love his wife'. The wife is commanded by God to 'obey her husband'. Both are following the direct commandment of God -- in this sense, it has nothing to do with their spouse.
"Women are emotional creatures..."
The problem with threads that are created to help women understand a man's point of view is that --- [ some ] women seem to be unable to accept it as such - and try to understand the man's point of view - but, rather, [ automatically ? ] interpret it as an attack on [ them or ] women in general.
It actually is - both a "right" ( in a sense ) and a responsibility. And, each has its part. Because, God has ordained it. God has placed the responsibility on the man ( to which the man is accountable to God ) -- and, the "right" - in the form of the authority required to carry out the responsibility -- follows by necessity. The two "naturally go together"...
Of course, proper "balance of focus" is necessary, also.
Good leadership always serves ( promotes confidence and trust ) and obtains ( maintains order and direction ).
There is nothing wrong with either. They are both "healthy" to a leader-follower relationship.
The follower is encouraged by the service of the leader -- and the leader need not 'invoke' his authority. However, if the follower rebells, the leader must 'invoke' his authority to preserve the relationship.
It is all about having the proper 'balance'...
The husband is commanded by God to 'love his wife'. The wife is commanded by God to 'obey her husband'. Both are following the direct commandment of God -- in this sense, it has nothing to do with their spouse.
"Women are emotional creatures..."
The problem with threads that are created to help women understand a man's point of view is that --- [ some ] women seem to be unable to accept it as such - and try to understand the man's point of view - but, rather, [ automatically ? ] interpret it as an attack on [ them or ] women in general.