An inflated sense of beauty...

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Thank you MissCris, Inu, Fenner, Rachel20, ChandlerFan, Grace-like-rain, secularhermit and sassylady for your comments. It was interesting to note that the responsibility for this lies on both, men and women alike.


I want to ask another thought-provoking question here.

Look at the women shoppers in the video I posted in my OP. They bought the outfits because they wanted to look like the mannequin. And the shopkeeper herself testified that her sales went up AFTER they changed their mannequins. From a Christian perspective, is it wrong of the shopkeeper to have use mannequins like that?

In the same line of thought, what do you think a Christian creative designer/brand manager/marketing head when he has to create an advertisement for his company's products? Please put yourself in the subject's shoes when you post your opinion. The person has to generate sales else he may lose his job. If the advertisement is not "well received" by the target community, the sales will not take off. On the other hand, he has to uphold his Christian virtues according to which, it is wrong to excessively focus on the physical traits of the women. How do you think he should behave?

Good question! Ah. This is tricky. When you go in an athletic store, you notice that the mannequins are all athletically built. Smaller chests (on females), slimmer, etc. When you go into Lane Bryant (plus size clothing store) you notice that the mannequins are of a larger build. People shopping there want to see what clothing is going to look like on THEM.

The places I've noticed displaying particularly large-busted or super-curvy mannequins seem to be shops for "sexier" clothing. Not wild and crazy necessarily, but stuff that the pastor's wife probably isn't going to wear to church on Sunday. At least that's the feeling I get from my limited trips to the mall. I could be wrong. But businesses are going to choose mannequins that suit what they are selling.

I would hope that a Christian business is going to be promoting modest clothing, and women shopping for modest clothing probably aren't going to go for the thing that the Betty Boop mannequin is wearing in the window.

 

[wisebeardman]

Yes. I think society is sick.

yep, pretty much.

 

[Ho11y]

I had posted this in another thread, but since some pointed out that it deserves another thread I am creating one for this. (Thank you, MissCris and Holly! Thank you Inu for replying).

-------------------------------

I saw this worrying video about women in Venezuela. I'd like to hear the comments from the ladies on CC.

1) Do you face such situations in your daily life?
2) When are such comments on looks/physical attributes reasonable and when are they not? (For e.g. preference for life partners, etc.)
3) How do you think men (in general) can help in your personal struggle against such stereotypes?
4) Addendum #1 - Do you find it worrying that some of the women featured in the video actually supported the argument that women must be more 'physically attractive'?


(Please don't be offended by this video. There are certain scenes of surgery. Viewer discretion is highly advised.)

[video=youtube;LHcwoCy_ZHA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHcwoCy_ZHA[/video]

1) There was a lot of pressure to look a certain way. The women in my family were/are tall and rail thin. Myself and one other of my cousins seemed to be the exception. And we were really ridiculed for that. And it made us both feel really ashamed of how we looked. In school girls would say things to me as well. Even some of my ''friends'' in junior high and high school would say some really rude comments to me. And so i started gravitating towards other race's because i felt more comfortable with people who i resembled physical wise. And to them, i was what their culture would describe as really attractive. The things i didn't like about myself, they thought were beautiful. A lot of those girls are still my friends and i'm blessed to have them in my life.

2) I feel super uncomfortable when men say things about how i look. I don't mind it at all from women, but i get really uncomfortable if a guy were to say anything.

3)I hear men are attracted to different types of women, but the only thing i'm actually seeing, is men only liking one certain type of women. I think if that is not the case, it needs to be said so. When you have so many perfect looking, gorgeous women plastered all over the place, i almost can't blame them. If people were to stop looking at that and buying into it though. I think things would be different.

4) I don't even know what to say about that video honestly. It's just so sad....

 

[Lynx]

3)I hear men are attracted to different types of women, but the only thing i'm actually seeing, is men only liking one certain type of women. I think if that is not the case, it needs to be said so. When you have so many perfect looking, gorgeous women plastered all over the place, i almost can't blame them. If people were to stop looking at that and buying into it though. I think things would be different.

I am officially saying so. I don't give a fart in a whirlwind what a girl looks like. Neither do my friends.

But then, my friends are mostly from church. I gather from conversations at work between guys that the viewpoint I and my friends have is not common in society at large.

 

[MissCris]

On the other side of this...

I think there's a certain amount of pressure on men that makes them feel like they're not normal if they don't find a certain type of woman attractive (i.e, what society shoves in our faces).

Now I'm curious, guys- do you feel like that? Like you're more accepted by your peers if you're with a woman who is stereotypically pretty/thin/made-up?

 

[ChandlerFan]

On the other side of this...

I think there's a certain amount of pressure on men that makes them feel like they're not normal if they don't find a certain type of woman attractive (i.e, what society shoves in our faces).

Now I'm curious, guys- do you feel like that? Like you're more accepted by your peers if you're with a woman who is stereotypically pretty/thin/made-up?

I feel like it's entirely possible that people could see a very attractive woman with a man who isn't as attractive and think those weird thoughts about how he ended up with her and that type of thing. But I don't think there would be any increase or decrease in the level of acceptance on that basis, especially among my friends and family.

 

[ChandlerFan]

I wanted to share this too. The topic of body image in general is very raw for me as I have struggled with poor body image ever since I was young. When I read this article, it was like putting on glasses and seeing parts of my soul for the first time after having only blurry glimpses for so long.

The Epidemic of Male Body Hatred

 

[ChandlerFan]

2) I feel super uncomfortable when men say things about how i look. I don't mind it at all from women, but i get really uncomfortable if a guy were to say anything.

I'm just curious, Holly, what about it makes you uncomfortable?

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I wanted to share this too. The topic of body image in general is very raw for me as I have struggled with poor body image ever since I was young. When I read this article, it was like putting on glasses and seeing parts of my soul for the first time after having only blurry glimpses for so long.

The Epidemic of Male Body Hatred

ChandlerFan, thank you for sharing this. It breaks my heart a bit. I love how diverse men are. In a world where people all seem to want to be identical copies of some idol that society has placed on a pedestal, it's really refreshing to see individuality and REALNESS from anyone. I'm sad to see that this is something men struggle with too.

 

[Ho11y]

ChandlerFan, thank you for sharing this. It breaks my heart a bit. I love how diverse men are. In a world where people all seem to want to be identical copies of some idol that society has placed on a pedestal, it's really refreshing to see individuality and REALNESS from anyone. I'm sad to see that this is something men struggle with too.

yes, exactly what she said

 

[Lynx]

On the other side of this...

I think there's a certain amount of pressure on men that makes them feel like they're not normal if they don't find a certain type of woman attractive (i.e, what society shoves in our faces).

Now I'm curious, guys- do you feel like that? Like you're more accepted by your peers if you're with a woman who is stereotypically pretty/thin/made-up?

Of course. If you don't crack dirty jokes, if you don't act excited at the sight of anything female in suggestive attire, if you don't comment on womens' bodies, of course you're not "one of the guys." I feel that peer pressure all the time. I ignore it. It is irrelevant to me. But it is present.

 

[BananaPie]

This was rich rich! ... a lot of things I could do with Hal. But I'm not going there!

..."this conversation can serve no purpose anymore."

 

[cinder]

1) Do you face such situations in your daily life?
If I do I don't notice it. I'm so far off the standard that only in my wildest dreams do I even hope to come close. But since I was encouraged on other things when I was a kid I think I put my efforts into those things. But I have seen the pressure on some of my friends here that they need to look pretty enough so some guy will love them and want to marry them.

2) When are such comments on looks/physical attributes reasonable and when are they not? (For e.g. preference for life partners, etc.) I appreciate compliments on my appearance when it's pretty clear I've put in an effort to look nice. Otherwise it just kind of weirds me out. As far as some guy turning me down, the vague approach of I just don't find you attractive would be much preferred to pointing out specific physical flaws.


3) How do you think men (in general) can help in your personal struggle against such stereotypes?
Notice and compliment / comment on things other than a woman's appearance. Take the time to actually say hi and acknowledge her existence anytime you are around her (if you don't she will wonder what is wrong with her that you don't care anymore, unreasonable but true)

4) Addendum #1 - Do you find it worrying that some of the women featured in the video actually supported the argument that women must be more 'physically attractive'?

Let's see. I think it will be a good day for women in Venezuela when that beauty pageant guy dies. And I think that if there were only plain looking women around then the men would still go for them because well biology and stuff.

 

[Jullianna]

.


1) Do you face such situations in your daily life?

I think all women do at one point or another. As women get older and become more confident/secure in who they are as a whole person , they seem to become less concerned with the opinions of shallow people like some of those in the video. Sure...we want to look nice and age as gracefully as possible, yes; but the more important factor is being HEALTHY, not "hot".

One of the things that troubles me most are women who use their looks to get ahead in business, etc. It makes it even more difficult for hard-working, modest women in both the workplace and life in general.

2) When are such comments on looks/physical attributes reasonable and when are they not? (For e.g. preference for life partners, etc.)

I don't mind a man telling me that I look nice, but most of the comments women hear are not flattering in the least, nor are they sincere. Most are lewd, crude and insulting. Some guys know just the right things to say to get what they want and many insecure women fall right into the trap. I'll leave it at that...

HOW something is said can often be just as important as what is said. Some guys don't even have to say anything because they way they look at you makes you shiver and feel as if you need to go take a shower to rinse off the filth.

I think these things are most damaging in the teen years, especially when young ladies are first developing. Modest young ladies are extremely sensitive to such things. I, personally, stopped playing volleyball after jr high because I developed rather early and was very troubled by the lewd remarks made by some of the boys. I know other girls who've felt the same way.

3) How do you think men (in general) can help in your personal struggle against such stereotypes?

Men have a lot of power in this area. They have the ability to encourage other guys to be more respectful of women and to be a good influence to boys in this regard.

A woman's significant other has tremendous power in this area. We may not care whether the world thinks we are beautiful, but we want the one we love to see us that way. Letting your lady know how YOU see her can make a world of difference in this area.

4) Addendum #1 - Do you find it worrying that some of the women featured in the video actually supported the argument that women must be more 'physically attractive'?

I feel sorry for some of the folks in this video, especially the man in charge of the pageant. What an empty, shallow life it would be to see other people that way. Just think of the beauty he CAN'T see. Sad...

 

[Pipp]

It's funny that the ugly little plastic looking man is ''defining'' beauty......

*shake my head and walk away*

 

[Roh_Chris]

Now I'm curious, guys- do you feel like that? Like you're more accepted by your peers if you're with a woman who is stereotypically pretty/thin/made-up?

YES.

Even with some friends it would be hard to expect them to understand our position. Maybe the girl friends would accept and be okay with it, but not all guy friends may do that. A joke or a tease will always be there to make you feel awkward about it.

Another thing is that we guys are also under pressure to fit into the role of a male. I have had women tell me 'You are not tall enough for a guy.' OR 'You are too thin to look good with me'. I am 5'6" tall, weigh about 143 lbs and I am within the optimal BMI for my physical frame. Unfortunately the women think that a guy shorter than 5'8" and without a broad frame is undateable. I will be resuming my weight training from this weekend. But I am not going to fret about my physique.

 

[zeroturbulence]

That first guy in the video has been lifted more times then a keychain at the gift shop of a shoplifter's convention. No wonder why he's pro surgery. Eeeks.

Not to mention he's completely out of touch with the real world. Rich folks at the top of the fashion industry live in a world of caviar and 5 star hotels... and they're surrounded by professional models all day.

 

[JesusLives]

I am obese not proud of it and used it as a crutch to keep men away.....it almost worked.....but I still lived my life..... I would not let the fat keep me from things I enjoy such as I love to swim.... Don't like the way I look, well look the other way.... If it bothered me so much I would not live my life I would have done something about it.

Well I am working on it now with God's help not because I feel I should to look better for men or even myself, but because I realize that I don't belong to myself that I really belong to God and this is His temple to dwell in and that I have abused this temple. God in love has shown me that I should be eating healthier and trusting and obeying Him in all things. My desire is to be and become more and more like Jesus. God wants me to be the best I can be and I am learning to love and please and submit to Him.

I have met a wonderful Christian man from this site and he is always telling me how beautiful I am from the inside out and it is nice to hear and I appreciate his love for me and it helps me to see and understand more fully just how much God loves us just the way we are, but God loves us too much to let us stay in any harmful state our bodies might be in. God sees the finished project I am trying to see it His way too.

 

[tourist]

I am obese not proud of it and used it as a crutch to keep men away.....it almost worked.....but I still lived my life..... I would not let the fat keep me from things I enjoy such as I love to swim.... Don't like the way I look, well look the other way.... If it bothered me so much I would not live my life I would have done something about it.

Well I am working on it now with God's help not because I feel I should to look better for men or even myself, but because I realize that I don't belong to myself that I really belong to God and this is His temple to dwell in and that I have abused this temple. God in love has shown me that I should be eating healthier and trusting and obeying Him in all things. My desire is to be and become more and more like Jesus. God wants me to be the best I can be and I am learning to love and please and submit to Him.

I have met a wonderful Christian man from this site and he is always telling me how beautiful I am from the inside out and it is nice to hear and I appreciate his love for me and it helps me to see and understand more fully just how much God loves us just the way we are, but God loves us too much to let us stay in any harmful state our bodies might be in. God sees the finished project I am trying to see it His way too.

What a wonderful beautiful woman that you are.

 

[Inu]

What a wonderful beautiful woman that you are.

I have to agree with you here.... She is one of the most beautiful souls I have had the privilege to meet over CC