Sweet Vs. Sarcastic: Which One Are You Attracted To?
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Pipp--I totally understand what you're saying. I've worked with some incredibly sarcastic people who never had anything nice to say to anyone, and that's what turned me off to extreme sarcasm. They were downright hateful and mean, veiled under a thin layer of what they claimed was humor.
Cinder--As usual
you make excellent points about bonding with certain people through witty banter. Kind of the "he's picking on you because he likes you" type. I've had friends who are reluctant to bond with anyone emotionally so they choose to connect to people through clever quips instead. However, once again, I personally, and maybe it's just me, have found it hard to have any kind of deep connection with such people.
I also agree with you that sickly sweet out of a need for approval is also a huge no-no. But in general my approach, especially in a work setting, is usually, "How can I help? How can I make your job easier?" It's just that, once you get to know me and I feel more at ease, my helpfulness comes with a lot of playful attitude.
KENTHOMAS!!! Lots of other people who might try to call me "Kimmie Doodle" might be in danger of getting slapped... but instead of feeling like slapping anyone, I suddenly feel like hugging you.
UGH!!! Mind you, only very special people and good friends can get away with such atrocities!!! (What cracks me up is that the managers at work who try to call me "Kimmie" as if I'm 5 years old often find out I'm only 5 years younger than they are.) I actually had a co-worker who, instead of calling me Kim-ber-lea, used to call me Creme Bru Lea, which I thought was pretty clever.
Feeling... positive emotions... Even. wanting. to. smile.
Make. it. stop. NOW!!! (Danggit, Ken, how am I going to work on my baddie image if you keep making me laugh???!)
Cinder--As usual
you make excellent points about bonding with certain people through witty banter. Kind of the "he's picking on you because he likes you" type. I've had friends who are reluctant to bond with anyone emotionally so they choose to connect to people through clever quips instead. However, once again, I personally, and maybe it's just me, have found it hard to have any kind of deep connection with such people. I also agree with you that sickly sweet out of a need for approval is also a huge no-no. But in general my approach, especially in a work setting, is usually, "How can I help? How can I make your job easier?" It's just that, once you get to know me and I feel more at ease, my helpfulness comes with a lot of playful attitude.
KENTHOMAS!!! Lots of other people who might try to call me "Kimmie Doodle" might be in danger of getting slapped... but instead of feeling like slapping anyone, I suddenly feel like hugging you.
UGH!!! Mind you, only very special people and good friends can get away with such atrocities
!!! (What cracks me up is that the managers at work who try to call me "Kimmie" as if I'm 5 years old often find out I'm only 5 years younger than they are.) I actually had a co-worker who, instead of calling me Kim-ber-lea, used to call me Creme Bru Lea, which I thought was pretty clever. Feeling... positive emotions... Even. wanting. to. smile.
Make. it. stop. NOW!!! (Danggit, Ken, how am I going to work on my baddie image if you keep making me laugh???!)
I think there is a time and place to joke around and have a little fun banter, but you can't always be sarcastic or funny. If someone came up to you at work and said, I'm having a bad day, my Mom is in the hospital and might die. What kind of sarcasm would work with that. You have to be real sometimes. If the only conversations I had with someone were humorous or always reeked of sarcasm it would get old real fast.
I would be attracted to a girl who has a balance of sweetness and sarcasm. I love playing pranks and "being mean" to my girl friends, so if she were to be sweet then it would just kill the fun. I expect her to retort and maybe even play a prank on me. Heh, like there's a fat chance I'll fall for it <- Sarcasm 101 for you, Kim.
But when the games are over for the day and we are just together then I would prefer she switches over to being sweet. It would be a total deal-breaker if she does not know when to be sarcastic and when to be sweet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but this is my perception - tomboys are more likely to have a good sense of sarcasm. Am I right or wrong? I would like to know.
But when the games are over for the day and we are just together then I would prefer she switches over to being sweet. It would be a total deal-breaker if she does not know when to be sarcastic and when to be sweet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but this is my perception - tomboys are more likely to have a good sense of sarcasm. Am I right or wrong? I would like to know.
I appreciate all personality types, but I gravitate to sweet over sarcastic-only. To be fair, "sarcastic" has a negative or "hip" connotation, whereas sweet has a more positive alluring sound in itself. Still, "sweet" may also be understood as shallow, weak, and even annoying (like the little yipping puppy that draws awes but that you avoid like the plague 'cause it is too fragile).
Sweet, as I mean it, is someone who shows compassion by listening more than talking and smiles more than rolling eyes.
Sweet is being approachable, because your spirit welcomes company. Sweet is even going out of your way to show hospitality to a guest-- not because that is "the right thing to do," but because it brings inner joy to do so. Sweet can mean cuddles, but it can also mean allows one space when needed.
Now, I seem to have dismissed sarcasm as bad. On the contrary, sarcasm often shows toughness, whit, and can be a great way to tease for playing games or flirting. Sarcasm may also challenge the person to think twice, rather than blindly trust.
So, you see, I do not see people who are sarcastic as bad.
I do, however, find sarcasm to injure more than sweet. Sure, sweet can turn ugly; sweet can be a façade. But sweetness that is sweetness is good. In contrast, sarcasm can fall like rocks and injure like a boulder. It may be fun to throw the rocks and neat to push a boulder-- to watch the trajectory or show one's strength/toughness. In the end, though, sarcasm is more concerned with self; and sarcasm care little about those impacted.
Now, this does not mean a sarcastic person is self-absorbed. Neither does it mean that sweet people are selfless.
Honestly, now that I wrote the above, I think I prefer a blend. Sweet people make me laugh, whereas sarcasm causes the laughter. Compassion and knowing when to let up, that is key with me.
To the original post, thanks for the teasing question.
Sweet, as I mean it, is someone who shows compassion by listening more than talking and smiles more than rolling eyes.
Sweet is being approachable, because your spirit welcomes company. Sweet is even going out of your way to show hospitality to a guest-- not because that is "the right thing to do," but because it brings inner joy to do so. Sweet can mean cuddles, but it can also mean allows one space when needed.
Now, I seem to have dismissed sarcasm as bad. On the contrary, sarcasm often shows toughness, whit, and can be a great way to tease for playing games or flirting. Sarcasm may also challenge the person to think twice, rather than blindly trust.
So, you see, I do not see people who are sarcastic as bad.
I do, however, find sarcasm to injure more than sweet. Sure, sweet can turn ugly; sweet can be a façade. But sweetness that is sweetness is good. In contrast, sarcasm can fall like rocks and injure like a boulder. It may be fun to throw the rocks and neat to push a boulder-- to watch the trajectory or show one's strength/toughness. In the end, though, sarcasm is more concerned with self; and sarcasm care little about those impacted.
Now, this does not mean a sarcastic person is self-absorbed. Neither does it mean that sweet people are selfless.
Honestly, now that I wrote the above, I think I prefer a blend. Sweet people make me laugh, whereas sarcasm causes the laughter. Compassion and knowing when to let up, that is key with me.
To the original post, thanks for the teasing question.
C
Sweet all the way. A little sassiness thrown in now and then is not unwelcome, but she's still gotta be GENUINELY sweet.
To me, humor has better roots in intelligence than in sarcasm.
Sweet doesn't have to mean weak, either. I don't want a woman that can't hold her own. This is a dog eat dog world, and I like the rugged pioneer type of gal.
I want a woman who can hold her own, but likes me to step up, too. This is a dog eat dog world, and I like the rugged pioneer type of gal who still knows when to defer to her fella. If you can train a .38 to do your bidding, but still want to go bake for me, you're a special sort of woman! I like standing up for a gal. That doesn't mean I want to go to bars and get into fights. I think the #1 place that most "men" fail to stand up for their wife is with their mom. I love my mom, but if I can't stand up to her, then I shouldn't be married. Men need to be ready to lead, and standing behind their own mother's apron (or their wife's) is no way to do it. I am "happily divorced" but I *still* stand up to my kids and tell them that they need to treat their mother with respect (no matter how little she earns it...).
The woman I'm dating can snap a bunch of 8th grade boys into line without any problems, and doesn't need me to smooth over rough spots with her ex. Still, when her ex showed up where we were at (we were across the street from where she needed to be meeting him shortly...long story, but he spotted her car), I lept from my car (where we both were, with my kids) and was at the door of his truck, shaking his hand and diffusing the situation before she had a chance to tell me not to. I stood up for her AS A Peacemaker, and that is what a Christian Man should do.
I want (& have) a sweet woman in my life because at the roots of it all, that is who we should be. I am a better man because of her, and she claims I bring it out in her, too. I want to be the sweet old couple who pass out candy to the kids at the end of church, not the ones screaming from the porch about staying off the lawn. When things get hard (they always do) I want to be able to count on having kindness there with me, and I want to be kind, too.
What will that sarcastic woman be like when she is 89?
To me, humor has better roots in intelligence than in sarcasm.
Sweet doesn't have to mean weak, either. I don't want a woman that can't hold her own. This is a dog eat dog world, and I like the rugged pioneer type of gal.
I want a woman who can hold her own, but likes me to step up, too. This is a dog eat dog world, and I like the rugged pioneer type of gal who still knows when to defer to her fella. If you can train a .38 to do your bidding, but still want to go bake for me, you're a special sort of woman! I like standing up for a gal. That doesn't mean I want to go to bars and get into fights. I think the #1 place that most "men" fail to stand up for their wife is with their mom. I love my mom, but if I can't stand up to her, then I shouldn't be married. Men need to be ready to lead, and standing behind their own mother's apron (or their wife's) is no way to do it. I am "happily divorced" but I *still* stand up to my kids and tell them that they need to treat their mother with respect (no matter how little she earns it...).
The woman I'm dating can snap a bunch of 8th grade boys into line without any problems, and doesn't need me to smooth over rough spots with her ex. Still, when her ex showed up where we were at (we were across the street from where she needed to be meeting him shortly...long story, but he spotted her car), I lept from my car (where we both were, with my kids) and was at the door of his truck, shaking his hand and diffusing the situation before she had a chance to tell me not to. I stood up for her AS A Peacemaker, and that is what a Christian Man should do.
I want (& have) a sweet woman in my life because at the roots of it all, that is who we should be. I am a better man because of her, and she claims I bring it out in her, too. I want to be the sweet old couple who pass out candy to the kids at the end of church, not the ones screaming from the porch about staying off the lawn. When things get hard (they always do) I want to be able to count on having kindness there with me, and I want to be kind, too.
What will that sarcastic woman be like when she is 89?
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Yeah, i'd have to lean to sweet. With a little sarcasm thrown in to keep it interesting. Though, long as it wasn't a mean sarcasm. I can be sarcastic i times. No, really, i can! So someone who had a major aversion to it wouldn't fare well with me either. But in a relationship i do try to be more cautious with it.
I think most people would say both, but the trick is to also have a third quality - knowing when to be which. Being sarcastic when you need someone to just be genuine is painful. Being overly sweet when what you need is someone to give you a ribbing and keep you in check is about just as bad. The ideal woman for me would be someone perceptive to get it most of the time, who knows when to lay in and when to lay off.
This calls for wisdom
This calls for wisdom
I think most people would say both, but the trick is to also have a third quality - knowing when to be which. Being sarcastic when you need someone to just be genuine is painful. Being overly sweet when what you need is someone to give you a ribbing and keep you in check is about just as bad. The ideal woman for me would be someone perceptive to get it most of the time, who knows when to lay in and when to lay off.
This calls for wisdom
This calls for wisdom
That's a good point, Nick.
Most of the people here who prefered a person with both traits also stressed on the importance of knowing when to be which.
I hope you don't mind me borrowing your patent, tourist.
This would be my favorite: Sweet 55% + Serious 30 % + Sarcastic 1 % + Playful 10 % + Crazy 4 % = Kind of Balanced
But, myself...would be...
Sweet 5 % + Serious 5 % + Sarcastic 5 % + Playful 35 % + Crazy 50 % = Not that well Balanced lol
This would be my favorite: Sweet 55% + Serious 30 % + Sarcastic 1 % + Playful 10 % + Crazy 4 % = Kind of Balanced
But, myself...would be...
Sweet 5 % + Serious 5 % + Sarcastic 5 % + Playful 35 % + Crazy 50 % = Not that well Balanced
lol
I am sure if you end up the kind of partner you want, you will be well balanced as a couple.
