What Kinds of Threads Would You Like To See Discussed in The Singles Forum?
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Roh, thank you so much for posting this. I couldn't agree more. To me, nothing is more discouraging than seeing new posters write threads, only to have others spend more time telling them where they should have posted rather than address the reason they posted. To me, it's like the Pharisees who told the sick that because it was the Sabbath, no one could be healed that day and they should all go home and come back another day.
I understand upholding rules, but when rules become more important that people, there's a problem. And think of how that new user must feel... definitely not welcome or part of the community.
Excellent point, Fenner!! I think we should definitely have a category of thread that ask you married folk for the wisdom of your experiences... And of course, you are always welcome to post in any of the threads.
All we ask of marrieds is that they don't give us unsolicited lectures (which, thankfully, the married regulars here do not do.)
I understand upholding rules, but when rules become more important that people, there's a problem. And think of how that new user must feel... definitely not welcome or part of the community.
Whatever your little heart's desire. Not saying that you guys don't have big hearts, just an old saying. Please don't throw the married people out. 
All we ask of marrieds is that they don't give us unsolicited lectures (which, thankfully, the married regulars here do not do.)
Yes!
But please, do not feed the bear.
But please, do not feed the bear.
Can someone get lil a cup of coffee? She needs one right now!
(Sorry, let's get back on topic.)
I agree. It is good to have a system with a set of rules but like you said earlier (in another thread), it is okay to revive some threads which may be always relevant. I admit that I was against old threads being revived, but after you pointed that out I realised that threads which address 'evergreen' issues can be revived from time to time. It would be a reality-check to see if we have progressed in those issues or not.
Also, I am thankful for our non-single regulars because they don't give us any unsolicited advice on relationships and marriage. They chime in with advice only when they are asked for it.
(Hey, I used the word chime in a different context! Did you see that? Did you?? I used a musical word! Did you see that?)
On suggestions for how to format original posts, I have noticed that it's often easier to organize thoughts if the original poster:
1. Asks the question and presents a condensed version in the original post, and then...
2. Relates their own input or experiences in a separate post.
For me, this makes it easier to read and form thoughts on, with the main situation/question being separated from all responses, even the OP's response. It can be less overwhelming also for people who get lost in longer posts. (I don't know if this makes sense now that I am reading it, haha... Oh well.)
I do appreciate that most original posts on this forum are concise and include a situation and then questions. People participate more in threads that have clear direction of what is being asked of them. I love that.
1. Asks the question and presents a condensed version in the original post, and then...
2. Relates their own input or experiences in a separate post.
For me, this makes it easier to read and form thoughts on, with the main situation/question being separated from all responses, even the OP's response. It can be less overwhelming also for people who get lost in longer posts. (I don't know if this makes sense now that I am reading it, haha... Oh well.)
I do appreciate that most original posts on this forum are concise and include a situation and then questions. People participate more in threads that have clear direction of what is being asked of them. I love that.
On suggestions for how to format original posts, I have noticed that it's often easier to organize thoughts if the original poster:
1. Asks the question and presents a condensed version in the original post, and then...
2. Relates their own input or experiences in a separate post.
For me, this makes it easier to read and form thoughts on, with the main situation/question being separated from all responses, even the OP's response. It can be less overwhelming also for people who get lost in longer posts. (I don't know if this makes sense now that I am reading it, haha... Oh well.)
I do appreciate that most original posts on this forum are concise and include a situation and then questions. People participate more in threads that have clear direction of what is being asked of them. I love that.
1. Asks the question and presents a condensed version in the original post, and then...
2. Relates their own input or experiences in a separate post.
For me, this makes it easier to read and form thoughts on, with the main situation/question being separated from all responses, even the OP's response. It can be less overwhelming also for people who get lost in longer posts. (I don't know if this makes sense now that I am reading it, haha... Oh well.)
I do appreciate that most original posts on this forum are concise and include a situation and then questions. People participate more in threads that have clear direction of what is being asked of them. I love that.
On suggestions for how to format original posts, I have noticed that it's often easier to organize thoughts if the original poster:
1. Asks the question and presents a condensed version in the original post, and then...
2. Relates their own input or experiences in a separate post.
For me, this makes it easier to read and form thoughts on, with the main situation/question being separated from all responses, even the OP's response. It can be less overwhelming also for people who get lost in longer posts. (I don't know if this makes sense now that I am reading it, haha... Oh well.)
I do appreciate that most original posts on this forum are concise and include a situation and then questions. People participate more in threads that have clear direction of what is being asked of them. I love that.
1. Asks the question and presents a condensed version in the original post, and then...
2. Relates their own input or experiences in a separate post.
For me, this makes it easier to read and form thoughts on, with the main situation/question being separated from all responses, even the OP's response. It can be less overwhelming also for people who get lost in longer posts. (I don't know if this makes sense now that I am reading it, haha... Oh well.)
I do appreciate that most original posts on this forum are concise and include a situation and then questions. People participate more in threads that have clear direction of what is being asked of them. I love that.
I was thinking about your suggestion and I just wanted to clarify with a small example.
Let's say I wanted to write a thread about favorite snack foods and wanted to include a story of how my Grandma made us "snack bowls" every night at their house but affectionately (or not so affectionately) called them "Crud Dishes", which is one of our fondest childhood memories.
Do you think it would be better if I did something like this?
(Post #1) Original Post: Hey Everyone!! What kinds of snack foods do you enjoy? (Statement of subject and questions for readers only in this post.)
(Post #2) Second Post: "When I was a kid, my beloved Grammy..." (Set foundation and story for the topic of discussion.)
Do you think this would work best, so that people could just read the main topic and question and skip over the stories if they wanted to?
Actually when this thread started I was a bit skeptical. A thread about what kind of threads we want? If we want a thread we start one. But that idea of starting a thread with the bare-bones topic, then posting your own thoughts on the topic, that's a good idea. Not suitable for all thread OPs of course, but a good idea for many threads.
M
One of the answers I picked in the poll is that I have ideas on how to improve this forum...yeah, I'm that person.
I've been thinking on this for a couple of months, really...I've been noticing less and less participation from a lot of the regulars that used to be very active in here, and while I can totally understand busy lives and all of that, it's also been sad to see the state of the forum without them. A lot of us can remember far better times within the Single's Forum...and a lot of us seem to wish it was "better" now...but not a lot of us know how to change it, nor are there a lot who seem willing to bother with it. And that's all fine, too. I get it. There's like, real life and stuff happening out there.
But that's one of the main things I think would improve the forum- greater participation from regulars. Whether that's by starting threads, or by responding to existing ones more often...either way, it's difficult to discuss topics with people when not very many people are around to discuss topics. I don't mean to say that those who ARE active in here aren't contributing worthwhile posts and threads, it's just that it's a whoooole lot different around here than it used to be, a lot slower, and a lot less of the supportive and postive stuff that there used to be. Or am I just imagining that it used to be that way in here?
Obviously, we can't force our MIA regulars to get their behinds back in here and jumpstart the forum. So I have no solution to this particular problem.
Some of the ideas I've had to try and help in here...well, one of them has been implemented, but it's not really doing anything- the welcome thread for newbies. I had hoped that it would maybe draw in more new people and make them feel like they could stick around and actually join in threads, buuuuut....well, we know how well that's worked. I expect it to be slow, but...yowch.
I'm really hesitant to try any other ideas or even discuss them...I feel silly, now, sort of like...maybe I'm the only one around here who really feels strongly enough about this place to think up how to try and improve it (though this thread proves otherwise, so yay for not being the only one!). I guess it's just frustrating, a lot of people come here and get attached to the place and say it's like a safe haven or escape or whatever else for them, but then...they kinda scatter when the place needs a little TLC.
I've been thinking on this for a couple of months, really...I've been noticing less and less participation from a lot of the regulars that used to be very active in here, and while I can totally understand busy lives and all of that, it's also been sad to see the state of the forum without them. A lot of us can remember far better times within the Single's Forum...and a lot of us seem to wish it was "better" now...but not a lot of us know how to change it, nor are there a lot who seem willing to bother with it. And that's all fine, too. I get it. There's like, real life and stuff happening out there.
But that's one of the main things I think would improve the forum- greater participation from regulars. Whether that's by starting threads, or by responding to existing ones more often...either way, it's difficult to discuss topics with people when not very many people are around to discuss topics. I don't mean to say that those who ARE active in here aren't contributing worthwhile posts and threads, it's just that it's a whoooole lot different around here than it used to be, a lot slower, and a lot less of the supportive and postive stuff that there used to be. Or am I just imagining that it used to be that way in here?
Obviously, we can't force our MIA regulars to get their behinds back in here and jumpstart the forum. So I have no solution to this particular problem.
Some of the ideas I've had to try and help in here...well, one of them has been implemented, but it's not really doing anything- the welcome thread for newbies. I had hoped that it would maybe draw in more new people and make them feel like they could stick around and actually join in threads, buuuuut....well, we know how well that's worked. I expect it to be slow, but...yowch.
I'm really hesitant to try any other ideas or even discuss them...I feel silly, now, sort of like...maybe I'm the only one around here who really feels strongly enough about this place to think up how to try and improve it (though this thread proves otherwise, so yay for not being the only one!). I guess it's just frustrating, a lot of people come here and get attached to the place and say it's like a safe haven or escape or whatever else for them, but then...they kinda scatter when the place needs a little TLC.
M
It wasn't so much that it was "fast", but busier...more variety of people posting, I guess? And more often. The way it is now, there will be entire days where there's not more than a handful of new posts and only on a couple of threads. I don't really know how to explain it to someone who wasn't here before...it's just...different.
Change can be good! But unfortunately I don't think a lot of the changes in this forum have been particularly good.
Change can be good! But unfortunately I don't think a lot of the changes in this forum have been particularly good.
Well, it used to more full of meaningful posts. It was like the conversations that people would have around a fire on a Saturday night. It was stories, testimonies, experiences and good advice. It was fluid and conversational, slow and deliberate.
It was more respectful, more linear and more personal. People shared from the heart about stuff they had experienced. There was a sense that people believed in love. That seemed to be the shared narrative, understanding what love is and how to get there from here.
People could talk about stuff without some joker jumping in trying to be punny for attention. "Hahahaha Look a Funny Picture! Derail!!!!"
Also there wasn't as much doom and gloom Eeyore type posts. "No body worry about me, I'm never getting married. Nobody could ever love me."
Now its like, "Why do all men suck? I need a man to prove me wrong about men! Amirite?!"
Frankly, we weren't as flooded with personal ads either.
And it has evolved. We used to get criticized for being too cliquish. Now it seems more all inclusive. And it won't be the same as it was before, but I just hope the future will be better than the past.
It was more respectful, more linear and more personal. People shared from the heart about stuff they had experienced. There was a sense that people believed in love. That seemed to be the shared narrative, understanding what love is and how to get there from here.
People could talk about stuff without some joker jumping in trying to be punny for attention. "Hahahaha Look a Funny Picture! Derail!!!!"
Also there wasn't as much doom and gloom Eeyore type posts. "No body worry about me, I'm never getting married. Nobody could ever love me."
Now its like, "Why do all men suck? I need a man to prove me wrong about men! Amirite?!"
Frankly, we weren't as flooded with personal ads either.
And it has evolved. We used to get criticized for being too cliquish. Now it seems more all inclusive. And it won't be the same as it was before, but I just hope the future will be better than the past.
Yeah, that's so true. Change is inevitable, so then the question is how will you respond to it? There will always be good men and women around here posting, and also crazies who really should have their internet privileges revoked It's a good thing I don't rule the universe lol.
It's a good thing I don't rule the universe lol.