I clearly demonstrated the problem is growing generationally in the data I shared and my argument, with respect to the rapid decline of marriage in most of Western Civilization, though encompassing various factors (which include economic and technological factors) is primarily due to the following which I already stated but will restate again here:
"1. Our culture is increasingly post-Christian and anti-male.
2. The length of courtship today is far longer than in past generations requiring far greater amounts of time, energy, and money to be risked by males on what often ends up being a futile attempt.
3. The legal contract of marriage has been fundamentally altered to such an extent that men are materially disempowered on the one hand yet forced on the other to assume enormous liabilities that carry serious civil and criminal charges which can render them poor and incarcerated."
A large percentage of young men have adjusted to the altered marriage contract by opting out of it altogether and a large percentage of young women have adjusted to this male choice by engaging in sex with them anyways outside of marriage.
Though the problem is most dramatically centered in densely populated urban areas and their respective demographics, every area and demographic has been affected.
Now the polling results I've seen show that most of these young men would engage in marriage once again if the incentives which were stripped out of the marriage contract for them were replaced. It also shows that young women would adjust to their renewed interest by accepting their proposals of marriage. Apparently, men and women both react to incentives and also to each other.
I don't discount your post with respect to the plight of single mothers. But simply blaming men, which is a very politically correct thing to do, misses the mark. As the old saying goes, "it takes two to tango."
Both an increasing number of men and women have made sinful choices which have led us to this place where more than forty percent of children are now born out of wedlock.
Excluding the 3-5 percentile of out of wedlock births caused by rape (see Hazelwood, Robert R.; Burgess, Ann Wolbert (2009). Practical Aspects of Rape Investigation: A Multidisciplinary Approach), every single out of wedlock birth represents a case where a woman chose to bear a child by a man who wasn’t interested in marrying her or a man she wasn’t interested in marrying. Women aren't helpless victims in all of this. Their behavior is half the problem.
It's no accident that fully thirty percent of children without a father in the home are children of divorce that in 70 percent of the cases the mother initiated. And despite what you may think, by far, it's not for cruelty or abandonment. As the latest scholarly study on the topic states:
"Our results are consistent with our hypothesis that filing behavior is driven by self-interest at the time of divorce. Individuals file for divorce when there are marital assets that may be appropriated through divorce, as in the case of leaving when they have received the benefit of educational investments such as advanced degrees. However, individuals may also file when they are being exploited within the marriage, as when the other party commits a major violation of the marriage contract, such as cruelty. Interestingly, though, cruelty amounts to only 6% of all divorce filings..."
Note: That's alleged cruelty which is overused as a tactic to help gain primary or sole custody of the children which by definition means that it's materially less than 6 percent. Abandonment is also low and polling from a study conducted by researchers at the University of Indiana show that, "19 percent of women and 23 percent of men reported cheating, statistics that seem to reflect a closing of the cheating gender gap."
Source:
http://www.unc.edu/courses/2006fall/econ/586/001/Readings/Brinig.pdf
I don't have a problem pointing out the rampant disregard of God's normative morality that Western women are engaging in when they have sex outside of marriage nor the game being played both non-Christian and Christian women routinely where they make believe the sin of the female never really happened and the male is solely to blame for the rapidly rising number of single mothers because it's utter nonsense.
If you're happy with the present feminist child support model society still calls "marriage," then continue to endorse it. But stop complaining about men opting out of it while putting words in their mouths. The studies and polling clearly show most young men today understand the legal liabilities far outweigh the legal benefits to them and in a post-Christian environment where they are no longer required to; they are opting-out at an ever higher percentage.
They just haven't stopped having sex with women who have clearly demonstrated that they are more than happy to engage in sex outside of marriage with them... often with devastating consequences for the children of these people whom are at risk across the board for everything from increased incidents of mental illness and suicide to crime and welfare to poor performance in academia and work to poor problem solving. Even their very brains are affected by the absence of a father:
Growing up without a father can permanently alter the BRAIN: Fatherless children are more likely to grow up angry and turn to drugs | Daily Mail Online
Your argument has largely been focused on men choosing not to marry because it's a bad deal for them, which leaves hordes of feminist women longing for marriage and unable to find any man willing to marry them, but this data you've listed above shows that women, also, are uninterested in marriage these days. This isn't a "male" trend. It's a generational trend that both men and women are falling into.
Marriage stats are down because both men and women are choosing not to marry. Marriage is down because our culture accepts and embraces "living together" or "casual sex" as an alternative to marriage. Marriage is down because women are supporting themselves now more than ever, giving them more choice in the matter of marrying.
Believe it or not, there is a shocking number of women out there who are raising their children by themselves, often with no support at all from the father, because their husbands have left them for other women. Studying who files for divorce is absolutely useless because an incredible number of women are forced to file for divorce after being abandoned or cheated on, simply to protect and care for their children. I don't know what state you live in, but where I live alimony is completely non-existent unless one spouse is physically unable to work, and often not even then. It's a non-issue. Joint property is split 50/50. Previously owned property goes with it's original owner. Child support is an across-the-board percentage of the non-custodial parent's earnings, and more and more fathers are equally sharing custody or winning it over entirely. Non. Issue.
I understand that you've probably been burned by some terrible experience. I have too. And I could go on and on about it, but I know that not all men are like that, so I choose not to insult or hurt the many many good men here who aren't.
