yeah, i don't know if it's as goofy as spending a pile of money to have it thermally straightened by a professional, with the end result being neither curly nor straight.
my hair has a lot of ethnic properties in the curl pattern, so it requires "african level" straightening power, yet, the hair is so fine in diameter (from my welsh side) that it would destroy it if they actually used that much chemical.
so... the resulting effect was neither straight nor curly, but weirdly, unnaturally wavy, and worse if there was much humidity. like, it couldn't make up it's mind. the redeeming quality was that it was relatively easy to straighten with a dryer, 30 min later.
i did that for years until this guy who i started dating, who saw pictures of me with curly hair said, "why in the world would you ever do something to ruin your hair??? you look a million times better that way."
i was sort of dumbstruck that any guy had the courage to tell me that i looked worse currently because of that, and yet entirely endeared by such honesty. and the freedom that it spoke of.
and i finally stopped. doingallthat. he was also partly responsible for my eschewing spray tans. i used to really sort of hate the whole pasty and freckled thing because i grew up around a lot more melanin and felt so very awkward about being differently colored/featured than my siblings and parents.
i will always be grateful for his honesty. sometimes you just need one person to tell you that they see you. and the stupid, superficial, and goofy vanity-inspired idiocy just falls away like water on a ducks back.
acceptance can be so incredibly powerful.