Meeting Your Online Crush: Daydream Come True or Sleepless Nightmare?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,431
5,376
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

How do you feel about meeting someone you've been crushing online in person? Would you have any specific concerns or fears?

This topic is something I'd thought about for a while and another poster was able to better put into words some of the things I'd been thinking of.

A few of my concerns would be:

1. Would he even... like who I am in person? I currently don't have a CC crush but there are several users I'd like to meet and become real life friends. Now, if by some chance, something worked out with a special someone, great, but in the meantime, here are some things I think about.

For some reason, I've been told that I look better in person than pictures (apparently I must come across in pictures as a total troll :p), but I'd still be a little nervous and insecure.

What if he finds out I'm really not all the clever or funny or even interesting? That all in all, I'm just a very, ordinary plain person with an occasionally off-the-wall view of life...

Which would be especially crushing if he had seemed totally into talking to me... until we actually met... and then he was like, "Uh... nice meeting you..." and promptly found a way to flee the scene.

And if for some reason it was me who no longer felt an attraction to him once we met... How would I handle it gracefully and with as much respect as possible?

2. As Catherder wrote in another thread, while I'd really be looking forward to meeting that special person, at the same time, I'd almost be afraid of hitting it off in person, because if we had an amazing connection and were on opposite sides of the state, country, world... I'd be totally heartbroken that I couldn't spend more time with this astonishingly wonderful person. I hate the feeling of absolute longing for someone due to distance or circumstance and would be afraid feeling that way all the time once I had to leave that person. And I wouldn't want either of us to move UNTIL we'd had plenty of real-life time together.

3. With some things in life... I almost wonder if the fantasy is better than the reality. Sure, I can think about what a fun, awesome pair we might be... without facing any of the harsh realities or heartache.

But overall, depending on the person and the situation, to me, the risk would totally be worth it if it the chance was there to take.

I just might be shaking in my neon-colored sneakers the entire time... but I'm sure I'd get through! :)

How about the rest of you?
 

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#2
I don't know that I have a lot to say about this, but I'd say it would be a dream come true. I'd be excited and nervous all at once, and I'm confident enough in my ability to create conversation and in my knowing them well to know that things won't be terribly awkward :)
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#3
I'd tend to worry of the latter. I'm an extreme introvert and find warming up to new people hard. Even if it's been talking to someone on here for a few months and then switching to on the phone. They say opposites attract so maybe there's an extreme extrovert out there somewhere.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
I've done this a few times. Hasn't really had any negative effects. I think people make a bigger deal out of online things than is really a problem.
 
L

love7

Guest
#5
I smiled when I saw this. I have met an amazing young man online and was suppose to meet him this weekend (I know hey; would have been the greatest valentines gift ever!) Sadly some issues came up that I urgently had to handle and he too has fallen into some family problems; so we have agreed on the end of february. Falling inlove with someone you have met online is a challenge and a half.the amount of trust needed is mind blowing and many think I'm crazy for loving him. As for the actuall meeting I'm very fortunate that we have a super honest relationship.we both agree that should the other not Lfeel it" once we actually meet then he/she should be honest as we both do not want to waste each others time.We have talked on the phone most days for hours on end so the converstaion is not an issue. No awkward moments :) our greatest issue is attraction (I'm an honest person; attraction does matter to me) unlike you I have been told that I take amazing pictures...hopefully all goes well and can oneday say I have one those epic love stories that on God can write. Excited for the end of february :)
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#6
I smiled when I saw this. I have met an amazing young man online and was suppose to meet him this weekend (I know hey; would have been the greatest valentines gift ever!) Sadly some issues came up that I urgently had to handle and he too has fallen into some family problems; so we have agreed on the end of february. Falling inlove with someone you have met online is a challenge and a half.the amount of trust needed is mind blowing and many think I'm crazy for loving him. As for the actuall meeting I'm very fortunate that we have a super honest relationship.we both agree that should the other not Lfeel it" once we actually meet then he/she should be honest as we both do not want to waste each others time.We have talked on the phone most days for hours on end so the converstaion is not an issue. No awkward moments :) our greatest issue is attraction (I'm an honest person; attraction does matter to me) unlike you I have been told that I take amazing pictures...hopefully all goes well and can oneday say I have one those epic love stories that on God can write. Excited for the end of february :)
How exciting! I'm excited for you!
 
M

musicguy85

Guest
#7
I'd say most of my fears would be similar to those mentioned already. Would they like me in person? Are they who they say they are? Will we hit it off as well in person as we did online? Is it going to be awkward? I think most of these and other worries would be rather common and in most cases shared.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#8
How do they become your crush if you've never met them?
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#9
Ha, what a question, eh? :)

I can say that I met two online crushes in real-life. And both went well without a problem. One became a friend later (because I couldn't feel anything for her in real) and another became my girlfriend for about two years (we are still very close friends).

For me, it would be a daydream come true. To be on the safer side, I would make sure that we at least know how the other person looks (through pics exchange or Skype), so it will not be a total surprise to see her in person. At the same time, I would prefer to meet in a public place like a cafe to make both of us feel safe. Other than that, I don't think it would be awkward. I'm confident on our skills to keep the conversation going in order to get to know each other better.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#10
Hey Everyone,

How do you feel about meeting someone you've been crushing online in person? Would you have any specific concerns or fears?

This topic is something I'd thought about for a while and another poster was able to better put into words some of the things I'd been thinking of.

A few of my concerns would be:

1. Would he even... like who I am in person? I currently don't have a CC crush but there are several users I'd like to meet and become real life friends. Now, if by some chance, something worked out with a special someone, great, but in the meantime, here are some things I think about.

For some reason, I've been told that I look better in person than pictures (apparently I must come across in pictures as a total troll :p), but I'd still be a little nervous and insecure.

What if he finds out I'm really not all the clever or funny or even interesting? That all in all, I'm just a very, ordinary plain person with an occasionally off-the-wall view of life...

Which would be especially crushing if he had seemed totally into talking to me... until we actually met... and then he was like, "Uh... nice meeting you..." and promptly found a way to flee the scene.

And if for some reason it was me who no longer felt an attraction to him once we met... How would I handle it gracefully and with as much respect as possible?

2. As Catherder wrote in another thread, while I'd really be looking forward to meeting that special person, at the same time, I'd almost be afraid of hitting it off in person, because if we had an amazing connection and were on opposite sides of the state, country, world... I'd be totally heartbroken that I couldn't spend more time with this astonishingly wonderful person. I hate the feeling of absolute longing for someone due to distance or circumstance and would be afraid feeling that way all the time once I had to leave that person. And I wouldn't want either of us to move UNTIL we'd had plenty of real-life time together.

3. With some things in life... I almost wonder if the fantasy is better than the reality. Sure, I can think about what a fun, awesome pair we might be... without facing any of the harsh realities or heartache.

But overall, depending on the person and the situation, to me, the risk would totally be worth it if it the chance was there to take.

I just might be shaking in my neon-colored sneakers the entire time... but I'm sure I'd get through! :)

How about the rest of you?
I can tell you that the one good thing about online is as long as the other person is totally truthful with what they write online that it is much better to fall for the true person that is writing from their soul and then meet with no preconceived ideas about them (how they look) and love them for the person they are on the inside and then accept them for who they are on the outside. I know I fell in love with the writer in tourist and by the time we met I really didn't care what he looked like. Fantasy's are great, but reality can be really lonely if one tries to live up to the fantasy.....

I guess I should praise God that tourist was who he said he was and not some axe murderer. He loves God and is the sweetest, kindest, gentleman I have met in my life and it is not the norm at least wasn't for me to meet someone so accepting that loved God that is one of the good guys....I learned I prefer a God guy (good) over the bad boys from previous relationships it is so much better.

We did have a lot of write time, phone time, letter time, email time before we met time. I know it seems like it was a lightening fast relationship, but you should see the stack of paper printed out it could be a novel....and I have considered writing out Love Letter Novel as there is certainly enough material. Just be sure to meet in a public place in the day time with plenty of escape exits......lol
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#11
How do they become your crush if you've never met them?
Like the Bible says words are a powerful tool and when used wisely yes, one can crush and even fall in love with them it is what happened to me before I even met tourist and yes, we were both nervous and anxious about if we would like each other in person. Tourist said he was shy, but I never found him to be shy with me ever..... He is a little more introverted than I am as I will go into the unknown faster than he would, but I have a Blond knack for getting him out of his box and trying new things.

I have read quite a few of your words too and you have some good poetry going on and I can see the romantic side you have too....Ladies read some of Zero's blogs and see if you don't agree.....just saying. Blond wants to help match up someone if it is the last thing she does..... you or Lynx (or any other seeker) I have no preference in helping you guys/gals find a special someone if it is what you guys/gals desire.....lol
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,216
9,289
113
#12
seoulsearch: The way you state it in your first post, every road leads to disaster. The only way to avoid disaster, according to the way you put it, is to never have an online crush to start with. I think you worry too much.

In the meantime, you reminded me of this:
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#13
seoulsearch: The way you state it in your first post, every road leads to disaster. The only way to avoid disaster, according to the way you put it, is to never have an online crush to start with. I think you worry too much.
No, it is not the way she states. It is the way she gestures when she talks. You see, she is supposed to wave her hands like this but she doesn't. And she doesn't nod her head like this either. So that is why everybody misunderstands her.

Or maybe it is her pink, bunny-shaped hat with rattlers on the sides.. *shrugs*
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#15
Online crushes function a lot like in person crushes. I don't see why the emotions would be different in either situation.







 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,431
5,376
113
#16
but I thought I was....well, gee....this is awkward.
Catherder, I tend to think of you more as my CC nemesis and arch rival... :D

I am The Joker (or perhaps, Poison Ivy) to your Bruce Wayne!
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#18
I don´t have the answers, Soul but, as far as I am, you will be liked (your point one) unless you posted (somewhere else) I have liked you.

:p

Seriously!

People is liked or hated by their thoughts. I can be hated or disliked the way they´re pleased but, people´s perfume is smelled by our lines... If I stink I stink.

Fears? Fear not and nothing. Everything is vanished (and faded off) like water in the rain.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,431
5,376
113
#19
no Catwoman?

**le sigh**
Fiery red hair and a toxic presence or garish clown makeup (not to mention the Glasglow grin) are MUCH more descriptive of my personality than an old patent leather leotard with ears.

I'm guessing you just like the bullwhip.

I'm much too lady-like for that. (Besides, it's much too slow. Remember how Indiana Jones responds to showoffs with fancy whips? Yup, that would be my call, too.) :D

We women are all about the fastest, most efficient response. ;)