Anger ... how it changes a person

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Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#41
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,961
113
#41
Am I the only one to see the obvious?

The OP said her "partner" of 9 years left her. That does not sound like she was married to him. He had no obligation to stay with her, regardless of the amount of time they were together.

Next time you get into a relationship, make sure you find out if it is God's will, and then make sure you marry the person, and don't live with them before you are married. It is sin to live with someone you are not married to, and the consequences you are what you are suffering right now. He was free to walk out the door.
 
BS

BS

Banned
#42
May 13, 2015
555
9
0
#42
Angela53510 said:
Am I the only one to see the obvious?

The OP said her "partner" of 9 years left her. That does not sound like she was married to him. He had no obligation to stay with her, regardless of the amount of time they were together.

Next time you get into a relationship, make sure you find out if it is God's will, and then make sure you marry the person, and don't live with them before you are married. It is sin to live with someone you are not married to, and the consequences you are what you are suffering right now. He was free to walk out the door.
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Right...but I wish it would be the panacea... people are walking out the door even if are not free... it happens. But the advise is correct. I would add - next time let the God to choose your man! He never mistakes!
 
BS

BS

Banned
#43
May 13, 2015
555
9
0
#43
Angela53510, I am sorry - I have not read carefully what have you said. You had answered it precisely - I wish I was not so faster to write :)
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#44
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#44
Ayan0512 said:
Have you ever gone to a place so dark, you cannot see reason, nor light? It's called depression. You analyze things, and overanalyze things so that you arrive at a conclusion of what happened and what went wrong? And in that state of helplessness and hopelessness, you begin to think of horrible things, say horrible, hurtful words? And you don't think a person can change patterns in 3 days? You must not understand the intricacies of a person's mind.
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Maybe I´m wrong but, when I was in my twenties I lost someone I loved more than it was needed. We were too different, she was Catholic, she loved X-mas an a lot of traditions I didn´t liked, except being with her... During my time of depression, almost 3 years, I considered to commit suicide (in fact I told her what I planned: To throw myself through her balcony) and that lost (that I willingly undergone for our being too different those days) was sorted the moment I marreid to another woman and, in fact, I told her: "marry me or I´d marry another".

The thing that I surely don´t understnad is, I cannot change the past, but the present and, if I had to live stuck in the past, I know depression is not HOPELESS and it could be helped (is that person is willing to leave those problems behind).

Those years of depression were helped by my friends who invited me to go out, to travel in my own country and, that pain was utterly healed when the woman I married knew that past you called hopeless and helpless (which I consider it is not that way).

After 30 years, having a hidden hope I would marry that woman I liked too much, that issue was utterly solved when I knew everything: We were not what I thought and I had a good time loving her, travelling with her daughter, and telling her my last goodbye. :)
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#45
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#45
BS said:
Angela53510, I am sorry - I have not read carefully what have you said. You had answered it precisely - I wish I was not so faster to write :)
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If they were NOT contractually married, they were together for 9 years. Married or not, that matters and counts and, according to what you said, Angela is RIGHT in her advice, although too many chances are that either of both partners could leave the other, if any of them choose or cheats on. Free unions and legal marriages hurt, unless none of them had an emotional bond in between and, our sister regrets and shows her sorrow here.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#46
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#46
BS said:
Right...but I wish it would be the panacea... people are walking out the door even if are not free... it happens. But the advise is correct. I would add - next time let the God to choose your man! He never mistakes!
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If any person has an EXACT way, a practical way to do this, please show the readers; because I have read the way Isaac´s wife was asked by his father but, his FATHER was rich, loved by God and wealth seems to be a great "glue" on the way Isaac got his wife... What about those other ppl? Those who are not rich and less fortunated (and I know rich, ugly and poor ppl are getting divorced, since ages).

If there is a .PDF and downloadable manual, I´d like to read it.



https://espanol.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150401202607AATTbyT
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#47
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#47
Ayan0512 said:
I went through 3 deaths in less than a year. I lost an Uncle, a brother and a grandmother all in less than a year. And to top off that, my partner of nine years left me for another woman. I was not even through recovering from the loss of my loved ones, and then another one left me. Him, whom I counted on to help me get through my pain.
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Excuse me! May I remind you that those who passed away, those who died for this world, could be LIVING in the presence of GOD?

Those who died were approved or disapproved by God but, according to what I read, sister, you are misunderstanding death as a punishment, and it is not, unless a person be casted on the hell.
 
A

Ayan0512

Guest
#48
#48
Living in Sin...

Yes, I was aware that I was living in sin and if you read my previous posts, you would know that this was part of my regret and shame, and because of this sin, I have stopped going to Sunday Service, I stopped reading the bible and I stopped turning to God because I know because of my sin, I am blocked from receiving His mercy and grace.

Death of Loved Ones...

For someone who was been away from the Christian world so long, I think it is natural that people get affected by unexpected things happening in their life... Things like the death of a loved one, more so, the death of several loved ones whom I have grown deeply attached to and who have been with me while I was growing up. I think pain from the loss is a natural feeling, and if the wisdom that comes from God's words is lacking, any person will not know how to deal with these pains.

Will of God

I do know that I have gone against the Will of God and that living with a man outside marriage is a sin. And yes, I accept that the pain I am suffering now, is a consequence of my sin.

Anger

For lack of any other emotion to hold on to, I resorted to anger. Of course, this was before I got into this site and people reached out to me. This anger transformed me into someone I barely knew. I was cruel, I became obsessive, I became suicidal. Things that happen to a person who got disconnected and is not guided by the Holy Spirit.

The only reason I poured my heart out in this site is because I could not manage my anger, my sadness and my loneliness. Some people in here who have expressed empathy and understanding of what I was going through inspired me to reconnect with God and to know Him once again, not because I want to look for an outlet and a diversion from my pains, but because I want to feel the joy of praising Him, and turning to His words for any questions I have that I cannot answer, because I want to be Saved, because I want to be free from my Sin, because I want to walk in the light.

Our God is an awesome God, I know by His mercy and grace, I can get through anything. And with this knowledge, I seek His forgiveness, I accept my sin, I accept that though, I am not worthy, the Lord will forgive me for my sins if I just confess and accept in all humility that I have sinned, and receive the Lord back into my life once again.

Thank you all for your posts and comments. God bless everyone.
 
A

Ayan0512

Guest
#49
#49
Wornwarrior said:
Ayan, I had been living outside of Gods will for so many years and God has recently shown mercy on me and brought me back. I have learned a lot in that time. All the things that I was doing to find happiness was making me miserable and I could find no satisfaction anywhere and this made me terribly angry. It was getting to the point where I could hardly even hide or hold it in any longer. I may have looked a little stressed on the outside but there was a battle raging within me. This verse is my explanation to what was happening to me: "When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat." - Psalm 32:3-4 But I was SO far from God. In His great mercy, He brought me back. Since then, the rage is calm. When the negative emotions in our lives start to take over, we have no strength to do much about it. But, if we fall on our knees before God, spend time with Him, pray... read His Word... pray some more, all the pain, all the anger, all the self-loathing will be turned into such a peace that words can not describe. He wants to be close to us sister. God bless you, Ill be praying for you . xx
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Thank you. God bless you.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#50
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#50
Hmmm! :confused:

"Yes, I was aware that I was living in sin and if you read my previous posts, you would know that this was part of my regret and shame, and because of this sin, I have stopped going to Sunday Service, I stopped reading the bible and I stopped turning to God because I know because of my sin, I am blocked from receiving His mercy and grace."

Who told you to do that? Selfimposing excomunication?

If you are sick (like many of us could be sick) you needed to go to The Doctor: God.

Ok, you can avoid going to Sunday services, but go to another on Saturdays (or another place on Sundays). You need God as much as I need Him.

You can stop reading the Bible, but you can listen to it (by using CDs or Christian radio Stations)

I don´t know your sin (that´s out of my business) but God knows and, as far as you´ve said, you seem to be repented... Just deal THAT with Him (God) and show your hidden tears. HIs mercy is all free, as his grace.
 
Wornwarrior

Wornwarrior

Senior Member
#51
May 11, 2015
172
3
18
#51
Ayan0512 said:
Living in Sin...

Yes, I was aware that I was living in sin and if you read my previous posts, you would know that this was part of my regret and shame, and because of this sin, I have stopped going to Sunday Service, I stopped reading the bible and I stopped turning to God because I know because of my sin, I am blocked from receiving His mercy and grace.

Death of Loved Ones...

For someone who was been away from the Christian world so long, I think it is natural that people get affected by unexpected things happening in their life... Things like the death of a loved one, more so, the death of several loved ones whom I have grown deeply attached to and who have been with me while I was growing up. I think pain from the loss is a natural feeling, and if the wisdom that comes from God's words is lacking, any person will not know how to deal with these pains.

Will of God

I do know that I have gone against the Will of God and that living with a man outside marriage is a sin. And yes, I accept that the pain I am suffering now, is a consequence of my sin.

Anger

For lack of any other emotion to hold on to, I resorted to anger. Of course, this was before I got into this site and people reached out to me. This anger transformed me into someone I barely knew. I was cruel, I became obsessive, I became suicidal. Things that happen to a person who got disconnected and is not guided by the Holy Spirit.

The only reason I poured my heart out in this site is because I could not manage my anger, my sadness and my loneliness. Some people in here who have expressed empathy and understanding of what I was going through inspired me to reconnect with God and to know Him once again, not because I want to look for an outlet and a diversion from my pains, but because I want to feel the joy of praising Him, and turning to His words for any questions I have that I cannot answer, because I want to be Saved, because I want to be free from my Sin, because I want to walk in the light.

Our God is an awesome God, I know by His mercy and grace, I can get through anything. And with this knowledge, I seek His forgiveness, I accept my sin, I accept that though, I am not worthy, the Lord will forgive me for my sins if I just confess and accept in all humility that I have sinned, and receive the Lord back into my life once again.

Thank you all for your posts and comments. God bless everyone.
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Ayan, I praise God everyday for that hand of discipline that He presses down on us with, and I hope that you will too sister. Hebrews 12:6 "For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child." To anyone who has fallen away from Him, these words are precious and healing. He will not allow us to remain out of His will forever. Long enough to let us learn a lesson, yes. But then He so lovingly reaches out to us in His great mercy. When I was in my darkest moments, my soul was in so much anguish that I could barely get through the day. I have a 3 year old so it was extremely difficult for me to put on a happy face for her when the agony I was feeling inside was overwhelming me. My teeth were gritting day in day out and I tried to tell myself it was only stress. I didn't want to face the truth. I didn't want to face God! After all those years, I began to believe a lie that God would never forgive me. My husband (that Im separated from) would quote scripture completely out of context to show me that there was no longer any hope for me. But it was all a lie from the enemy. Nights were the worse. I first called a Pastor, asking for advice... and hoping that he could fix this for me somehow. I was even kinda ticked that he didn't help me, or so I thought. What he told me was that "now is the time to cry out to God." Nothing else, I poured my heart out to him and that was ALL?! But he was 100% right. Those words rang in my head for days. Then I let go of my fear of rejection and my pride and finally broke... Sis, before I even got the words of repentance out of my mouth... a peace filled my soul. He was so merciful to me. All I could do was weep in awe of His great love for us. He wants to do the same for you. He wants to reveal His love to you too. As the pastor told me that night, Im now telling you... "Cry out to God!" Im praying for you xx
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#52
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#52
You said it THAT way: "Will of God

I do know that I have gone against the Will of God and that living with a man outside marriage is a sin. And yes, I accept that the pain I am suffering now, is a consequence of my sin."

I don´t think like you but, what is Jesus´ opinion?

Joh 4:16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come here."
Joh 4:17 The woman answered and said, "I have no husband." Jesus said to her, "You have said well, 'I have no husband,'
Joh 4:18 "for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in this you have said truly."
Joh 4:19 The woman said to Him, "Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.

Did Jesus called her a sinner? (He already knew who she was)

Did He call her "sinner" repent and don´t U dare to go back to pray any place?

I bet He didn´t. Instead, He saw she was honest, like you. :eek:
 
A

Ayan0512

Guest
#53
#53
Wornwarrior said:
Ayan, I praise God everyday for that hand of discipline that He presses down on us with, and I hope that you will too sister. Hebrews 12:6 "For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child." To anyone who has fallen away from Him, these words are precious and healing. He will not allow us to remain out of His will forever. Long enough to let us learn a lesson, yes. But then He so lovingly reaches out to us in His great mercy. When I was in my darkest moments, my soul was in so much anguish that I could barely get through the day. I have a 3 year old so it was extremely difficult for me to put on a happy face for her when the agony I was feeling inside was overwhelming me. My teeth were gritting day in day out and I tried to tell myself it was only stress. I didn't want to face the truth. I didn't want to face God! After all those years, I began to believe a lie that God would never forgive me. My husband (that Im separated from) would quote scripture completely out of context to show me that there was no longer any hope for me. But it was all a lie from the enemy. Nights were the worse. I first called a Pastor, asking for advice... and hoping that he could fix this for me somehow. I was even kinda ticked that he didn't help me, or so I thought. What he told me was that "now is the time to cry out to God." Nothing else, I poured my heart out to him and that was ALL?! But he was 100% right. Those words rang in my head for days. Then I let go of my fear of rejection and my pride and finally broke... Sis, before I even got the words of repentance out of my mouth... a peace filled my soul. He was so merciful to me. All I could do was weep in awe of His great love for us. He wants to do the same for you. He wants to reveal His love to you too. As the pastor told me that night, Im now telling you... "Cry out to God!" Im praying for you xx
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Thank you for what you shared. Praise God, indeed.
 
A

Ayan0512

Guest
#54
#54
secularhermit said:
Hmmm! :confused:

"Yes, I was aware that I was living in sin and if you read my previous posts, you would know that this was part of my regret and shame, and because of this sin, I have stopped going to Sunday Service, I stopped reading the bible and I stopped turning to God because I know because of my sin, I am blocked from receiving His mercy and grace."

Who told you to do that? Selfimposing excomunication?

If you are sick (like many of us could be sick) you needed to go to The Doctor: God.

Ok, you can avoid going to Sunday services, but go to another on Saturdays (or another place on Sundays). You need God as much as I need Him.

You can stop reading the Bible, but you can listen to it (by using CDs or Christian radio Stations)

I don´t know your sin (that´s out of my business) but God knows and, as far as you´ve said, you seem to be repented... Just deal THAT with Him (God) and show your hidden tears. HIs mercy is all free, as his grace.
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While I was still actively attending Sunday Services, these are words that rang into my mind a lot "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthews 6:24; And because I have made my choice then, I cannot be a hypocrite and live a double life. Was it self-imposed excommunication? Perhaps. Would I have been better off continuing on despite my sin? At the time, I did not think I was even worthy of facing God and praising Him and afterwards, continue to live with my sin.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#55
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#55
Ayan0512 said:
While I was still actively attending Sunday Services, these are words that rang into my mind a lot "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthews 6:24; And because I have made my choice then, I cannot be a hypocrite and live a double life. Was it self-imposed excommunication? Perhaps. Would I have been better off continuing on despite my sin? At the time, I did not think I was even worthy of facing God and praising Him and afterwards, continue to live with my sin.
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I do beg to be allowed to insist on that "no one is worthy" except the Lamb (Rev 4:11 "You are worthy, our Lord and God, the Holy One, to receive the glory and the honor and the power; because You created all things, and by Your will they existed and they were created." Rev 5:2 Then I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, "Who is worthy to open the scroll and to break its seals?" Rev 5:3 And no one in heaven above or on the earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll, nor to look at it.
Rev 5:4 And I began to weep much, because no one was found worthy to open the scroll, nor to look at it.
Rev 5:5 But one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep. Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has overcome, to open the scroll and its seven seals." )

Mat 8:8 The centurion answered and said, "Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof. But just say the word and my servant will be healed.

I´m not worthy either. I have loved other ppl more than God or Jesus. At least I knew those personally, face to face...

Matt 10:37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.


But, if they tried to "discipline" you, if you loved anything you were part of, as a service to Him, just endure it... At the end of the day, nothing was yours there and, if you thought it was "yours", your ego lied to pull you to an altar you don´t belong.

You were with ONE man, not with many men so, my narrow-minded sees a woman who loved a person and, if you loved him knowing he belonged to another woman, knowing he could be cheating on you as you think you cheated on God´s faithfulness, it is you who hurt yourself... You can heal and understand your fault, your sin, to sort it out to walk up again, in the Lord.

How far can you run to hide from God´s sight?

You know there´s no place to hide.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#56
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#56
Are you sure mammom (money) is the same issue Jesus was talking about His Lordship?

You surely have to work to provide for you (and your loved ones).

Jesus was talking to those who wanted to partake in His earthly ministry (unless you have that call to serve Him full time).
 
A

Ayan0512

Guest
#57
#57
secularhermit said:
Are you sure mammom (money) is the same issue Jesus was talking about His Lordship?

You surely have to work to provide for you (and your loved ones).

Jesus was talking to those who wanted to partake in His earthly ministry (unless you have that call to serve Him full time).
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Hands down, that is the context of the passage. But for me, the passage took on a different meaning, where God is one master and Sin is the other.

Yes, I have work, I have a flourishing career and am earning pretty well for myself and my family.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#58
#58
Ayan0512 said:
For the past three days, I let myself be drowned by my anger. I became a monster, a different person than who I was and who I came to be. I wonder why it is so hard for acceptance to come by? I do not want to be this horrible person, but sometimes, in desperation and helplessness, I cannot help it. Lord, please teach me to be gentle and to be accepting. Teach me to be strong and wise, and please give me the strength to set anger aside and let love rule my heart once again.
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Eh, I can really understand that you're mad,
and it's still not settling in your heart.
I've the same problem...
Even if I see a Social Worker,
and I've got tools to settle..
I'm still in Pain and never satisfied...
I did really bad things by being so angry
against my Family, Those who bullied me at High School!
I can't tell you what I did because it's too dangerous and even criminal....
God knows all about it,
So, I won't talk anymore and I'll share you a Verse of the Bible
that it will help you in the Pleasure of Healer Christ!

1 Tessalonians 4.jpg

Galates 5.jpg

Galatians 5:16
So I tell you:
Live by following the Spirit.
Then you will not do what
your sinful selves want.
 
Wornwarrior

Wornwarrior

Senior Member
#59
May 11, 2015
172
3
18
#59
Ayan0512 said:
While I was still actively attending Sunday Services, these are words that rang into my mind a lot "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthews 6:24; And because I have made my choice then, I cannot be a hypocrite and live a double life. Was it self-imposed excommunication? Perhaps. Would I have been better off continuing on despite my sin? At the time, I did not think I was even worthy of facing God and praising Him and afterwards, continue to live with my sin.
Click to expand...

Ayan, I couldn't attend church, I couldn't read the Bible, I couldn't hang out with other Christians anymore and I couldn't even listen to music. No music! The very things that used to bring me joy was misery! You get no satisfaction in anything when you are fallen away from Him. I understand Sister, I've been there and its only been about a month since I've been there. Everything was condemning to me! I know the Bible says there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but all I felt and thought about was condemnation. Again, its another lie from the enemy. God doesn't condemn us, He wants only to lavish His love on us. So I say again, "cry out to God!"
 
A

Ayan0512

Guest
#60
#60
Wornwarrior said:
Ayan, I couldn't attend church, I couldn't read the Bible, I couldn't hang out with other Christians anymore and I couldn't even listen to music. No music! The very things that used to bring me joy was misery! You get no satisfaction in anything when you are fallen away from Him. I understand Sister, I've been there and its only been about a month since I've been there. Everything was condemning to me! I know the Bible says there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but all I felt and thought about was condemnation. Again, its another lie from the enemy. God doesn't condemn us, He wants only to lavish His love on us. So I say again, "cry out to God!"
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I hear you. And yes, I have cried out. And yes, it is a lie from the enemy.
 
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