Physical Attractiveness is Vain

[blue_ladybug]

Whatever happened to the old adage, "You can put a dress on a pig, but it's still a pig,"?

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Some of the comments posted about making yourself attractive ain't flying. For one thing, how does it apply to the person who has a physical disability? Or to the one living in poverty who can't afford nice clothes? Or can’t afford dental care? Or someone who has a noticeable birth defect? Or to the elderly, the blind, the deaf, the overweight, the underweight, the emotionally disabled, the burn victim, the toothless, the hairless, the one with missing limbs, the social outcast?

If you aren't considered "unacceptable" to the public eye, and you feel your appearance is a blessing, I have no problem with that. I count my height as a blessing because I don't have to reach as far as other people to remove something from a high shelf. I can see over most people's heads in a crowd and I enjoy that blessing. But it certainly doesn't make me of more value than a little people. It just makes reaching up high more convenient to me.

But to place a high value on being eye-catching or having the ability to make other people admire your physical appearance or even lusting after you is deceiving. Being self-conscious of my outward appearance prevents me from being aware of you. The less self-conscious I am, the more I can see you and hear you. The more I die to myself, the more I can love you.

I don't think wanting to be desired by your significant other or your spouse is prideful. I just think wanting everyone else to think you're physically attractive is vanity. And if you measure the one you love according to the world's standards rather than Jesus' standard, I think you are deceived.

Don't you think it's rather ironic that Lucifer was the most beautiful of the angels and that Jesus was so unattractive, many people turned their gaze away from Him? And don't you think it very strange that the idols in Hollywood who many people try to emulate are FAKE, are all make-up and cosmetic surgery?

All I'm trying to say is whatever you believe regarding physical appearance, it has to apply to the whole family of God. We are one body in Christ Jesus. Jesus is the Head, the Vine. We are the branches. If someone is looking at me, they are looking at one part of the body of Jesus Christ. I would like for them to see Jesus Himself outshining me so He can draw them to Him.

Violet, in your 1st paragraph here, you ask how making yourself beautiful applies to those who are disabled, blind, burned, etc.. Umm, I believe that everyone has beauty, even if WE can't or don't want to see it. Just because someone isn't drop dead gorgeous doesn't mean that their looks are ugly or plain. God sees beauty in ALL of us, even the ones with the ugliest of looks and hearts. If us women and men could get beyond our vanity and stupid reasoning that a guy or girl needs to be smokin' hot to be beautiful, then we would be able to see the beauty within that person, without giving regard as to how their outward appearance is.

I agree that it's not prideful to want to look good for your spouse, BUT if you get all dolled up just to get cat calls and whistles and "hey baby you lookin' good", then THAT IS prideful and just begging for trouble.. Your comment in your last paragraph about how we view physical appearance, should apply to the whole body of Christ, then we would only have 2 options to choose: either we all ugly or we all beautiful. I know alot of christians who are physically good-looking but have ugly hearts, and vice versa. If their hearts aren't beautiful, then they are viewed as ugly, no matter how hot looking they are..

I think this is the two-sided coin that ember spoke of. We talk so much about sexy girls and hot guys, that all we do is focus on them. But what about the "plain Jane" who doesn't wear makeup, and doesn't dress to show herself off? Her features may still be beautiful but she's viewed as ugly because she don't wear a mini skirt and tank top. Everyone talks about the "beautiful ones" but seems no one gives a crap about the "plain Jane's" who, IMO are just as beautiful as the ones who DO dress up to look like hussies. I'm sorry, but MOST guys and girls who look at each other, look past the looks to the flashing neon sign that says "SEX SEX SEX".. Most women are insecure about their own looks so if they see hubby even glance at a girl w/o makeup, she automatically assumes that there's some kind of attraction for him to that girl. I've been through it myself before, only it was my ex asking me why I was looking at "that guy" because "he's ugly and puny".. or along those lines..

I think ember's point was that even "unattractive" women get viewed as sluts and treated like their trying to sleep with every guy in town. And all because their spouse got caught taking an innocent look at a woman. So it ain't only the pretty ones who get attention. The "ugly" ones do also..Only the attention THEY receive is negative cuz they're seen as ugly..

 

[ember]

I get it, (I think.) The purpose to your post was to let people know our looks, not only shouldn't define us, but also plays no role in our standing with God. And yet, some people think it's all about looking good. You did say that some woman feel like they can't ever be attractive enough to men, so this was for their benefit.

Ember brought up the other side of the same coin. There are women so utterly beautiful -- so beautiful, even without adding too much make-up or dressing the part -- and yet people judge them too. Kind of a sense that we're being judge by our looks in either case. (I think we ought to be including men in this too, since they get the same effects by their looks too.)

In both cases it is unfair that people are stuck in these situations, and if anyone is supposed to see the reality -- that God doesn't pick us by our looks or any other positive attribute -- believers really should stop judging by sight. So it is the same coin, but the two sides. Neither one of you is disagreeing, you're looking at different ends. That's all.

well yeah...that's all

that's considering what I posted and coming to the right conclusion

 

[blue_ladybug]

You just did.



Umm, YOU actually made it into something it ain't.

You posted, "uh.....being good looking is not a sin."

WHAT?? Nobody said it was. That is your own heart's perception.

You also commented, "Let's try and remember that a good looking woman who was born that way, has a heart too and sometimes gets hurt by certain women who scorn her simply because of how she looks."

WHAT? Where did that come from? Nobody even posted a comment even similar to that remark.

Something else is going on that's not on the surface.

And you added, "IMO, you are coming across somewhat harsh here."

Really, sister? There's not a chance it could be that you perceive things harshly? You're positive of that?

Because I just breezed through some of your forum posts and a big percentage of the comments you make are defending what you posted prior to them. You spend an awful lot of time justifying yourself. Perhaps it's because you keep contradicting everyone else. I said, "perhaps". Or maybe there's a deeper, more underlying issue.

Whatever the case may be, I'm done entertaining your two-sided "coin".

Once again, I think ember is referring to the fact that ugly girls get viewed by others just as negatively as do the pretty ones who dress to impress. Only the plainer ones only dress to impress themselves because they may feel more comfortable in sweats and shoes, rather than a dress and heels. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is the Supreme beholder that we should be dressing (modestly) for..

 

[BenFTW]

Well then brother, that clears it up. Because when I was thinking of what to title this thread, I was reminded of this:

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"Beauty (physical attractiveness) is vain." It's the Word of God. I didn't say being beautiful or handsome was a sin. I didn't imply it or hint to that. But evidently that's what some people hear when they read Proverbs 31:30.

Plus, if being purty is a sin, I'm in BIG trouble. ROFLMHO!

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And as for defaming someone,

I suppose we must clarify what vain means, according to the bible and in certain instances. I just googled it and this came up.

Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary
1. (superl.) Having no real substance, value, or importance; empty; void; worthless; unsatisfying.2. (superl.) Destitute of forge or efficacy; effecting no purpose; fruitless; ineffectual; as, vain toil; a vain attempt.
3. (superl.) Proud of petty things, or of trifling attainments; having a high opinion of one's own accomplishments with slight reason; conceited; puffed up; inflated.
4. (superl.) Showy; ostentatious.
5. (n.) Vanity; emptiness; -- now used only in the phrase in vain.

With that definition in mind, in the totality of things, I can see why the verse states such. I guess it is said for the purpose of priorities.

 

[ember]

In the case of beauty being vain, the Bible also states that trusting in a horse is vain

A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. Psalm 33:17

In the same manner, I think, beauty is spoken of...just your basic do not trust in any 'thing'....but trust in God

However, I think it is fair to say that a good looking person can be judged simply for how they look as easily as vice versa

It's always about the heart...and, as I tried to say, the heart gives itself away by its reactions...and sometimes we don't know what is in our hearts...(and please this is not personal to anyone).

And as you pointed out, you don't have to be pretty to be vain...I said the same thing

 

[VioletReigns]

I should have realized that this is a public forum and no matter what I intended for this thread, people are here to debate and take task with whatever gets posted. That's how it goes here in the BDF. Considering all that was expressed in defense of this or that opinion, I hope someone has been encouraged in their mind and heart in spite of it.

 

[PoetMary]

well, here's another side to it

how about the women who are good looking and get nasty looks from the women in church who are, shall we say, plainer?

there's one that is not often discussed

no flirting, minimim makeup and properly dressed and still getting looked up and down as though they were flirting with everyone's husband

this happens to

This is a manifestation of acculturation and the value placed on beauty (over say....behavior). This kind of emphasis on beauty creates a culture of competition amongst women for men and male attention. And, btw, it works. Beauty is an actual resource that people can leverage for all kinds of societal benefits. There are plenty of studies that support the idea that better looking people benefit societally in a LOT of ways---they are perceived as healthier, more intelligent, likeable, and trustworthy. Beauty allows people to command attention and get ahead, so beautiful people often garner greater incomes and more promotions. It's easier for beautiful people to find mates, and beauty gives people an advantage in politics.

As women, we are trained by our culture to compete with other women based on appearance. The knee-jerk reaction of our culture is to judge women based on appearance. Just think of the 2008 political campaign in America. Hillary Clinton was judged as masculine, old, and unattractive. While no one necessarily went after her intelligence or political prowess, people speculated that she had cosmetic surgery, she was called "Her Thighness", and was called a "b*tch" throughout the media. Contrast that with Sarah Palin. She was perceived as being more feminine, there was lots and lots of media about her skirts, she was younger and more attractive, and she was called a "MILF." However, she was also portrayed as lacking political savvy and basic intelligence. So it seems judgements based on looks are leveled at women no matter what their appearance is. No one seems to be spared.

It's no wonder that appearance is still the #1 shame trigger for women.

It's also no surprise that some of this has crept into the Church. It's shameful and unChristlike, but it's impossible for us NOT to be influenced by our culture to some degree or another.

Just another reason why we should allow our minds to be renewed by the Holy Spirit.

 

[VioletReigns]

[video=youtube;hdOyw5L7f7E]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdOyw5L7f7E[/video]

 

[Mitspa]

This is a manifestation of acculturation and the value placed on beauty (over say....behavior). This kind of emphasis on beauty creates a culture of competition amongst women for men and male attention. And, btw, it works. Beauty is an actual resource that people can leverage for all kinds of societal benefits. There are plenty of studies that support the idea that better looking people benefit societally in a LOT of ways---they are perceived as healthier, more intelligent, likeable, and trustworthy. Beauty allows people to command attention and get ahead, so beautiful people often garner greater incomes and more promotions. It's easier for beautiful people to find mates, and beauty gives people an advantage in politics.

As women, we are trained by our culture to compete with other women based on appearance. The knee-jerk reaction of our culture is to judge women based on appearance. Just think of the 2008 political campaign in America. Hillary Clinton was judged as masculine, old, and unattractive. While no one necessarily went after her intelligence or political prowess, people speculated that she had cosmetic surgery, she was called "Her Thighness", and was called a "b*tch" throughout the media. Contrast that with Sarah Palin. She was perceived as being more feminine, there was lots and lots of media about her skirts, she was younger and more attractive, and she was called a "MILF." However, she was also portrayed as lacking political savvy and basic intelligence. So it seems judgements based on looks are leveled at women no matter what their appearance is. No one seems to be spared.

It's no wonder that appearance is still the #1 shame trigger for women.

It's also no surprise that some of this has crept into the Church. It's shameful and unChristlike, but it's impossible for us NOT to be influenced by our culture to some degree or another.

Just another reason why we should allow our minds to be renewed by the Holy Spirit.

Not to pick on girls cause guys use there looks as well...but physical beauty equates to power in the world for many women..of course that's because men (and some women) give it power.

Even the angels was willing to rebel against God to posses the beauty of women...

 

[Kaycie]

Vanity is an intention. You can be naturally gorgeous and still be a strong Christian.

 

[Mitspa]

Vanity is an intention. You can be naturally gorgeous and still be a strong Christian.

Of course you would say that Kaycie...

 

[VioletReigns]

“Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain…” Proverbs 31:30

In the Strong's Concordance, it actually translates to: Beauty is like a breeze, and favoritism is fraudulent.

"Vain" translates to "breeze, vapor, fleeting"

Or to put it in plain words: Physical attraction will vanish like the wind, and accepting or favoring someone because of their good looks is deceptive and wrong.

It's not a sin to be beautiful or handsome. It is wrong to favor or accept someone because of it.

 

[VioletReigns]

Evidently this is a hot topic. In less than 24 hours it has gotten 949 views.

 

[Sadkitty]

I've noticed people in this forum want to analyze every single word of a person's post which is why I'm usually am a lurker for the most part on these forums.

Anyways ~

I've recently found my way back to God in the last month or so and I'm still figuring out the person/woman I am in God's eyes. During that time, I went my own way I've become totally blind in my right eye to the point where it is definitely noticeable that I am, indeed, blind. (I'm in tears at the moment so forgive me if my post doesn't make sense or any misspellings). I know for some people that part *might* not be that big of a deal, but for someone who already has low self esteem about herself it is to me (Ugly just got uglier type of thing.) I've taken to wear my hair over my face and sunglasses to cover it up.

This is just a nice reminder that God sees me in a different light then people who just want to stare. (Actually had that experience today while sitting in the doctor's office.) Like I said I'm still figuring out God's love in my life, and yeah...it's was just a nice post to read.

Thank you VioletReigns for posting it.

 

[VioletReigns]

Praise God! I'm so glad it meant something to you, Sister Sadkitty.

By the way, dear I have noticed you around the forums for two reasons:
1. I love kittycats and your profile name & icon catches my eye. =^..^=
2. You're a light everywhere you go throughout these forums.

I've seen you encourage people and make them smile in the Christian Singles Forum, Family Forum, Miscellaneous, Prayer Requests. You seem to always have a kind word to say to people. I praise the Lord that you've turned your heart back to God (even though I know He never let go of your hand) and that we're blessed to have you here among the CC family.

As for the painful difficulty you're going through, my dear young sister, that's a tough one. I pray in Jesus' name the Lord rain on you in grace and blessings and surround you with His glory. His beautiful Spirit certainly shines through you to me.

Thank you for sharing your tender heart. ♥

 

[Agricola]

Well, there you go, one of the hopefuls...hehe

You trying to play matchmaker now?

I may have worn that hideous sweater in my late teens for a laugh, but erm NO. As I am getting older, I also realise that I look much better in a shirt and more formal clothing, I am looking to start wearing a waistcoat without jacket as that is now apparently a fashionable thing to do. I like ties too, but I don't really get to wear those often, maybe I should.

 

[GaryA]

I've noticed people in this forum want to analyze every single word of a person's post...

Interesting...

I find that - more often than not ( it seems ) - people like to 'skim' a post - note the few words that stand out to them - and then use their imagination to fill in the rest... ( i.e. - reading comprehension 10% imagination 90% )

In other wods, people tend to not read what other people have actually written. And, they always seem to be ready to make a reply before they have a chance to "take in" and contemplate "what exactly it was that someone else actually said in their post"...

For as long as folks operate in this kind of mindset, they will post out of [ reactionary ] emotion and not [ reflective ] intellect.

 

[VioletReigns]

Interesting...

I find that - more often than not ( it seems ) - people like to 'skim' a post - note the few words that stand out to them - and then use their imagination to fill in the rest... ( i.e. - reading comprehension 10% imagination 90% )

In other wods, people tend to not read what other people have actually written. And, they always seem to be ready to make a reply before they have a chance to "take in" and contemplate "what exactly it was that someone else actually said in their post"...

For as long as folks operate in this kind of mindset, they will post out of [ reactionary ] emotion and not [ reflective ] intellect.

Are you serious? That's what stood out to you in Sadkitty's post? She offered a beautiful testimony of returning to God and shared her heart with us. It looks to me that you're the one who skimmed her post just to find something to debate.

Gary, I advise you to start your own thread and continue your "reflective intellect" idea there. Stop interrupting the fellowship in this thread or I'm going to report you.

 

[sammiekate1]

This does not go along with your argument about beauty, or lack there of, or whether or not you should do anything to uphold/enhance your appearance, but isn't this a Christian site? If it is, why does everyone on here feel the need to stick their nose in the air and argue or just click ignore when someone tries to express a different point of view? If we are all Christians here, why don't we acknowledge each others comments, and even debate, respectfully? What good does a bunch of rude responses do? We are supposed to try our very best to act Christ-like. And on a side-note, throwing around a bunch of Bible verses means nothing if you aren't practicing what you are preaching.

 

[Angela53510]

Here is a verse I found tonight in my Bible reading about beauty.

“But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his." Ezekiel 16:15


Wow! Pretty strong words. But lest you think this prophet is talking about a woman, the whole chapter is a metaphor for Israel and Ezekiel was warning Israel, and comparing it to a terrible woman.

I guess the moral is though, we should not trust beauty, but rather, trust God!