Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

[seoulsearch]

Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Hey Everyone,

I've always found it intriguing, and a bit disheartening, that different sins usually receive such different reactions--and sadly, often very different treatment of the people involved.

If someone writes a thread declaring, "I Think I'm Gay--Please Help", what would be your reaction, and, more importantly, your answer, be?

How about if someone wrote, "I Am Obese--Please Help"--would your reaction be as strong or edgy? Would you quote as much Scripture to that person as to the one who wondered if they were gay? Better yet, what if someone simply wrote, "I'm Overweight--Please Help." How would you answer? (When I say "overweight" or "obese", I'm not talking about a medical issue that can't be helped, but rather, someone who is struggling with overeating and the harmful effects are evident on his or her body.)

Let's say that both issues in this case (sexual struggles and weight struggles) are rooted in the same thing--lust. Most people think of lust as being something exclusively sexual, but the definition of lust that I am reading right now says: "Lust: a passionate or overmastering desire; a strong or excessive craving", with the example being, "A lust for power."

Who among us HASN'T lusted for something, and yes, in a sinful way? We've all wanted something, coveted something, or craved something that seems to take over our thoughts and life to the point where we shut God out or think we can achieve something through our own ability. Maybe it's power, prestige, money, or admiration... Lust has a way of manifesting itself in many different ways, and I find it interesting that one can suffer with sexual lust and be automatically shunned, but the person who struggles over an obsession (lust) for eating is received in an entirely different way (is it because so many of us are familiar with this particular type of "overwhelming craving" in our own lives?) Do we "go easier" on the person struggling with food... because we're also trying to go easy on ourselves? Is it because we somehow don't think that lusting for food and eating to the point of harming our own bodies is somehow not a sin? Are we ignoring the planks in our own eyes... and the super-sized sandwich and cola we just ordered for lunch?

I once heard a sermon in which a pastor said, "If you can't resist a hamburger, how are you going to resist a devil that's trying to kill you?"

For me personally, I have always had a soft spot for people who struggle with sexual identity because I've often heard them say things such as, "I always felt different from other people"; "I grew up being an outsider"; and, "I don't know who I am", which are all things I am very familiar with, despite the fact that I have never been attracted to my own gender at all. However, the issues of identity and not fitting in are something I am very familiar with and have a lot of empathy for. I can only speak for myself, but I find that I am usually much more interested in the person and who they are than with the issue they're struggling with.

However, I've noticed time and time again that if someone says they're having issues with sexual identity or addiction, the conversation suddenly becomes all about What They're Doing Wrong and How They Need to Be Corrected rather than about the person themselves, which I find very discouraging.

Why is it that someone who has an issue with overeating isn't treated the same way? Is it because we're often shoveling chips and candy down our own windpipes as we're sitting here typing anonymous answers?

I am genuinely curious as to what your opinions are... and how we can better treat all people, no matter what their fight may be, with a better sense of compassion and respect.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Outside Christ, all sin separates one from Holy God. However, God is also just and fair so it's no surprise that the Bible teaches sin gradients.

The Mosaic Law itself, which formed the core of the old covenant God had with the ancient nation of Israel, is a perfect example; however, the New Testament itself is replete with examples up to and including Jesus Himself telling Pilate in John 19:11 "therefore he that delivered me to you has the greater sin."

All sin separates one from Holy God outside of Christ but justice acknowledges that sin gradients. Sins like murder, for example, are actually worse than say taking a pencil from work without asking.

Murder really is worse than parking in a no parking zone. There really is a difference in severity and consequence.

With respect to homosexuality and obesity click HERE and read.

 

[seoulsearch]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

I understand what you're saying, Age, and I did read your link.

But I also want to say as a reminder to what I wrote in my first post, I am not talking about mere medical obesity, but rather, a willful, perhaps compulsive, and seemingly uncontrollable urge or even mindless need to overeat... much like what a person struggling with sexual issues might feel.

I could be wrong but because we are harming our own bodies when we overeat or gorge ourselves on the wrong things (I myself devoured an entire pint of ice cream this afternoon), I would argue heavily that this is very much sinning against our own bodies and defiling the temple within ourselves that God chooses to dwell in--again, similar to, but yes, I agree, not completely the same as, sexual sin.

I have a particular medical condition that affects women only (because of various physiology) and one of the most common symptoms is obesity. But it doesn't automatically mean that someone with this condition will be obese. Yes, there are things we can't control, but choice, lifestyle, and self-control has more impact that most people are willing to admit. (Further proof--I've read that Jillian Michaels has the same condition, and she most certainly is not obese.) As I also wrote in another post, I always wonder how much is actually "medical" and how much is really self-induced as I've watched what people throw into their grocery carts on a regular basis for most of my life.

I used to work with a woman in her 20's who had the same condition as me and she would tell me, "I'm surprised you're not A LOT bigger than you are." However, it's ironic to me how much we refuse to believe our own choices affect our current state. Her lunches consisted of fast food, super-sized meals with regular, full-sugar sodas. I'd be sitting right next to her eating carrot and celery sticks with 2 tablespoons (yes, I measured) of peanut butter and about 6 (yes, I counted) whole wheat crackers. She was also heavily into the party scene and would drink very heavily on the weekend.

And yet, apparently, she couldn't see why there was a different between our situations... I say this not in condemnation or judgment at all (because I have my own set of weaknesses--sugar being one of them) but rather, a personal amusement, and even annoyance, as to why she seemed to think I was somehow "magically" a bit smaller.

She wound up having her stomach stapled. But doing so required a huge lifestyle change (in theory at least) to maintain and keep up her new state of health.

We didn't keep in touch. But I often wonder what happened to her. (I've known one other person who, along with several other members of her family, went through surgically-induced weight-loss procedures... but were having a very hard time trying to maintain the very drastic changes required to keep up with it.)

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

I fully agree with you seoulsearch that obesity is a medical condition that warrants addressing. However, one need not invoke sodomy, murder, parking in no parking zones, etc... to address overeating and, in fact, doing so has already led some into error and confusion.

I would have titled the thread 'Why Do People Become Obese and How Can We Prevent Obesity and Solve For It When Obesity Occurs?"

 

[seoulsearch]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

I fully agree with you seoulsearch that obesity is a medical condition that warrants addressing. However, one need not invoke sodomy, murder, parking in no parking zones, etc... to address overeating and, in fact, doing so has already led some into error and confusion.

I would have titled the thread 'Why Do People Become Obese and How Can We Prevent Obesity and Solve For It When Obesity Occurs?"

That would actually be a great thread for you to start on its own! Why not try it?

For this thread, your title wouldn't fit because that is not my topic here at all. This thread is NOT about obesity in and of itself, which is very clear in the original post.

Rather, it's about why we treat people who are struggling with one sin so different from others who are struggling with other sins.

I agree with you that different sins will be treated differently and that it can sometimes be warranted. I myself am certainly no exception in how I react to some things. I would react much differently to someone who confessed wanting to bother a child vs. someone who said they struggle with sex addiction (but did not intend to harm anyone).

However, I felt that the topic of why we treat those struggling with homosexuality so much differently than those who struggle with overeating was rather interesting and would make a good discussion.

Again, while I do realize obesity CAN be a medical condition, I am NOT talking about it in the sense of a strictly medical cause in this thread. Rather, I'm talking about it as something that's more of a matter of impulse and the wrong personal choices that could have been made differently--much like many sexual sins.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

I'm going to address obesity anyways in your thread but try to do it somewhat in the context you've outlined.

What I've found, is that when people change what they're eating and manage their calories successfully within a diet plan that keeps the body off balance so it doesn't simply adjust: they lose weight.

The number one reason this doesn't happen, in my experience, has to do with the food choices being unsatisfying. People can and should find foods they really like that satisfy them that are healthy (my own examples would include seasoned gourmet vegetable dishes, seasoned popcorn mixes, stevia sweetened protein shakes, etc...) to maintain a healthy weight.

The number two reason has to do with the mind. Pay attention; I do not believe that I have a right to engage in negative behaviors like getting drunk/high, engaging in sexual immorality, or failing to manage my weight.

As an example, how many times have you heard someone say "I'm getting hammered tonight, I deserve it" or "I need to get drunk" (or some variation) in response to some external stimuli such as they got a promotion at work or lost their job.

There is nothing on this earth, good or bad, that can ever justify that behavior. People are simply deceiving themselves (or being deceived). When they finally surrender all expectations, rationalizations, and justifications enabling destructive behaviors it becomes so much easier not to do them.

Further surrender involves accepting that life involves delayed gratification. Delayed temporal negative gratification will be eternally rewarded positively by God upon our passing.

... things I've learned.

 

[jsr1221]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Hey Everyone,

I've always found it intriguing, and a bit disheartening, that different sins usually receive such different reactions--and sadly, often very different treatment of the people involved.

If someone writes a thread declaring, "I Think I'm Gay--Please Help", what would be your reaction, and, more importantly, your answer, be?

How about if someone wrote, "I Am Obese--Please Help"--would your reaction be as strong or edgy? Would you quote as much Scripture to that person as to the one who wondered if they were gay? Better yet, what if someone simply wrote, "I'm Overweight--Please Help." How would you answer? (When I say "overweight" or "obese", I'm not talking about a medical issue that can't be helped, but rather, someone who is struggling with overeating and the harmful effects are evident on his or her body.)

Let's say that both issues in this case (sexual struggles and weight struggles) are rooted in the same thing--lust. Most people think of lust as being something exclusively sexual, but the definition of lust that I am reading right now says: "Lust: a passionate or overmastering desire; a strong or excessive craving", with the example being, "A lust for power."

Who among us HASN'T lusted for something, and yes, in a sinful way? We've all wanted something, coveted something, or craved something that seems to take over our thoughts and life to the point where we shut God out or think we can achieve something through our own ability. Maybe it's power, prestige, money, or admiration... Lust has a way of manifesting itself in many different ways, and I find it interesting that one can suffer with sexual lust and be automatically shunned, but the person who struggles over an obsession (lust) for eating is received in an entirely different way (is it because so many of us are familiar with this particular type of "overwhelming craving" in our own lives?) Do we "go easier" on the person struggling with food... because we're also trying to go easy on ourselves? Is it because we somehow don't think that lusting for food and eating to the point of harming our own bodies is somehow not a sin? Are we ignoring the planks in our own eyes... and the super-sized sandwich and cola we just ordered for lunch?

I once heard a sermon in which a pastor said, "If you can't resist a hamburger, how are you going to resist a devil that's trying to kill you?"

For me personally, I have always had a soft spot for people who struggle with sexual identity because I've often heard them say things such as, "I always felt different from other people"; "I grew up being an outsider"; and, "I don't know who I am", which are all things I am very familiar with, despite the fact that I have never been attracted to my own gender at all. However, the issues of identity and not fitting in are something I am very familiar with and have a lot of empathy for. I can only speak for myself, but I find that I am usually much more interested in the person and who they are than with the issue they're struggling with.

However, I've noticed time and time again that if someone says they're having issues with sexual identity or addiction, the conversation suddenly becomes all about What They're Doing Wrong and How They Need to Be Corrected rather than about the person themselves, which I find very discouraging.

Why is it that someone who has an issue with overeating isn't treated the same way? Is it because we're often shoveling chips and candy down our own windpipes as we're sitting here typing anonymous answers?

I am genuinely curious as to what your opinions are... and how we can better treat all people, no matter what their fight may be, with a better sense of compassion and respect.

I think it's really simple (as seen by the constant attacks when the subject is brought up). For whatever reason, homosexuality is the sin of sins in the eyes of most Christians. For whatever reason, it is worse than lust, bringing, pride, and even killing someone. To a lot of Christians, if someone were to say "I think I'm gay", there would be a lot of sharpening of pitchforks, getting ready for a riot. Whereas if someone were to say " I am obese", you'd very rarely get the same type of response. Jesus said to love one another, people. That includes people that say "I think I am gay" and "I am obese." We're all the same.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

But what if I think I'm gay AND obese??

 

[Gozinia]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

It would only be excusable if you were BORN obese and always "felt" you were fat Zeroturbulence

 

[Gozinia]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Gluttony is a sin...not Obesity....The reason the two in the title are treated differently is because the two sins (if in fact Obesity could be called a sin when that is not mentioned in the bible so therefore could be conjecture whereas homosexuality is a sin regardless of facts or opinion) the two sins are different and would require to be addressed as differently as alcoholism and murder.

 

[seoulsearch]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Gluttony is a sin...not Obesity....The reason the two in the title are treated differently is because the two sins (if in fact Obesity could be called a sin when that is not mentioned in the bible so therefore could be conjecture whereas homosexuality is a sin regardless of facts or opinion) the two sins are different and would require to be addressed as differently as alcoholism and murder.

Gluttony is definitely more of what I'm getting at than just obesity itself when it comes to the overeating part of the discussion. One of the things I enjoy about writing threads is watching other people interpret what I'm trying to say... and then are sometimes able to communicate it in a better way than I was able to myself!

It's also true that hindsight is always, or at least so often, 20/20.

I think the real point I was trying to get at with my post is, why do things such as respect, compassion, and concentrating on who a person is rather than what they struggle with seem to get thrown out the window when people confess certain sins vs. others?

I realize that certain sins will be dealt with differently.

But by "differently", why does it seem that so many times, a sin that is seen as being more severe automatically results in harsh, impersonal preaching rather than an actual compassionate conversation?

 

[jennymae]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

I think a brother or a sisters sin whether it be this or that makes us wanna throw stones at the sinner. Now, some sins makes us wanna throw small stones, and others makes us wanna throw rocks and even mountains at the sinner. Jesus wouldn't, no matter the sin, but He would adress the sinner...

John 8:11

She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

 

[Gozinia]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

If an alcoholic never hurts anyone else but themselves...(see where I'm going)...Yet Homosexuality hurts not only yourself but the other victim involved...In effect with Homosexuality both people have recruited the other to sin together....Likewise if an Obese person does not hurt anyone but themselves...then the sin does not hurt another....Murder as a sin would be treated differently than alcoholism and obesity...but similar to homosexuality in that it hurts others....While all sin is sin...I believe we need to steer ourselves from the propaganda of believing "all sin is the SAME sin"...In Matthew 5:21-28, Jesus equates committing adultery with having lust in your heart and committing murder with having hatred in your heart....However, this does not mean the two sins are equal... What Jesus was trying to get across to the Pharisees is that sin is still sin even if you only want to do the act, without actually carrying it out.... The religious leaders of Jesus’ day taught that it was okay to think about anything you wanted to, as long as you did not act on those desires.... Jesus is forcing us to realize that God judges a person’s thoughts as well as his actions.... So we can conclude that while an obese persons motives may not be rooted in the desire to get fat, the getting fat is a result of a deeper rooted issue such as depression or diabetes which is what actually needs to be targeted...by contrast a homosexuals desires alone are sinful without even committing the act where the result of the issue is the same as the root of the issue...sexual sin....So we can ask are all sins equal to God-- In severity? Yes... In penalty? No as it depends upon Gods mercy... But In forgivability? Yes...All sins are a symptom of an underlying root cause, yet all require the same solution that being Jesus...I would agree compassionate teaching has it's place, but we do not grow without confrontation, which also has its place as Jesus showed by his example as well.

 

[seoulsearch]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

I think a brother or a sisters sin whether it be this or that makes us wanna throw stones at the sinner. Now, some sins makes us wanna throw small stones, and others makes us wanna throw rocks and even mountains at the sinner. Jesus wouldn't, no matter the sin, but He would adress the sinner...

John 8:11

She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Thank you for understanding what I'm trying to say!!!

I completely understand that sins are different and will be handled differently.

However, what I'm trying to say is, I think that in dealing with all sins, some things such as compassion and understanding should always be a factor.

Why is it that they so often get left behind when dealing with some sins vs. others?

Jennymae's post is on the right track to what I'm really asking here... Sins may need to be treated differently but so many times, what happens is that people just wind up throwing bigger rocks, trying to induce a quicker death to the other person!

Why is this and how can we approach things in a better way?

 

[Gozinia]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

BTW sorry for the block of text..something about my computer or Javascript and I refuse to update

 

[seoulsearch]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

BTW sorry for the block of text..something about my computer or Javascript and I refuse to update

No worries, Gozinia--I appreciate that you're taking the time to post, and in detail.

 

[Gozinia]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Ok let me throw something out here...I watched a video of a judge who went off on this lady in court...for getting with a repeated sex offender as a B/F who ended up abusing her kids...the abuser was being convicted and admitted his wrong but the judge lit up on the lady because she had let it happen...she was in tears...and in my opinion deserved it for her own stupidity...the offender was shown more compassion than the lady who allowed it to happen...I agree with what the judge did because thats what some people need in order to confront their own issues...the lady was enabled for wayyyyyyyy tooo long...and the judge put a stop to it...and not by compassion....the lady finally got it due to that judges actions...many see homosexual behavior very akin to the severity of child molestation...at least...50 years ago they did...God doesn't change with the times...it's more that we as sinners are always looking to escape answering for our sin. We get much closer to God when we stop being enabled in doing that by way of diminishing our own pride in thinking we dont have to answer for anything just because we may have asked forgiveness.

 

[jennymae]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

Ok let me throw something out here...I watched a video of a judge who went off on this lady in court...for getting with a repeated sex offender as a B/F who ended up abusing her kids...the abuser was being convicted and admitted his wrong but the judge lit up on the lady because she had let it happen...she was in tears...and in my opinion deserved it for her own stupidity...the offender was shown more compassion than the lady who allowed it to happen...I agree with what the judge did because thats what some people need in order to confront their own issues...the lady was enabled for wayyyyyyyy tooo long...and the judge put a stop to it...and not by compassion....the lady finally got it due to that judges actions...many see homosexual behavior very akin to the severity of child molestation...at least...50 years ago they did...God doesn't change with the times...it's more that we as sinners are always looking to escape answering for our sin. We get much closer to God when we stop being enabled in doing that by way of diminishing our own pride in thinking we dont have to answer for anything just because we may have asked forgiveness.

I need to comment on this one. I haven't seen that vid, but I dont think most people knows how it is to be married to an abuser of any kind. Thing is, the abuser, be it a man or a woman, is tearing you down, taking your confidence away step by step, and by the end of the day, you dont know any other life than the life of the abuser's victim. He, or she, has put you on the shortest leash there is. You aint got no place to go, your mind is not working correctly and your melt down brain is not operating rationally.

If a judge, a person we are upposed to adress Your Honor, cant see that, and be showing the offender compassion for ruining another persons life and abilities to protect her kids, then he has no business on the bench.

I once had this job, where I met women (and men) that were abuser's victims, and I was, like this judge, just telling them to get things straight and get away from him or her...saying I couldnt be of any help if they just moved in back with him or her. After a while I realized things wasn't that simple..the abuser is getting so powerful in this sneaky manner...and often, when in court, was portraying him or herself the victim...

 

[Gozinia]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

In that instance the Mother knew better and the situation she placed her children in was child endangerment as well as child abuse...The evidence revealed She was not protecting her kids because she was thinking of herself...I believe I understand what you're saying here Jennymae...and you are correct... I have dealt with people in the situations you have described and you're so right they feel helpless...while you and I are sitting on the outside like watching a horror movie saying RUNNNNN...While the world is taught to target symptoms of sin, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as our counselor target the root cause of all problems.. The root cause is sin which needs to be confronted more than the symptoms of sin...The judge instead of targeting the result of the problem targeted both the result and the cause...one cause being the mother making irresponsible decisions which put the children in danger...Both the offender as well as the victim need to be told to STOP......what I've seen is counseling and listening to childhood and analyzing does not tell a person to STOP... Sometimes helping a person to arrive at the obvious conclusion does not happen because it never clicks... counselors are often taught to not tell a person what to do...because they could be sued for advice which complicated the matter...and the court system does not recognize spiritual warfare...Yet we don't give a drug addict their drugs then try to explain to them why it's bad to do drugs...If we go to the doctor and say hey doc it hurts when I do THIS he should say well then stop doing THAT...but today...you go to the doctor and say hey doc it hurts when I do THIS and he says ok I'll give you a painkiller then so you may continue doing the very thing that hurts you...Common sense should be to tell the person to stop doing the thing which hurts them...it's a problem when the victim gets so used to abuse that is all they know...so they actually become comfortable with their situation for having endured it for so long that they know nothing different or think they don't deserve any better... what I'm trying to say is there is more than one method for addressing a matter and a more direct approach may not always be the top 90% of what is best for all situations...but I have witnessed where it has been the ONLY method for situations where everything else has been tried...if your own arm hurts you spiritually and everything else has been tried...like Jesus said... cut it off...STOP doing the sin or cut off the thing which causes you to sin...I believe in being compassionate although if being toooooo compassionate has allowed sinful behavior to continue...I have only seen the situation will remain as it were when started...How it relates to this thread is any sin a person wishes to be freed from, if not confronted for what it really is then pandering the person as a victim all the while they are still the perpetrator of the crime...IF a person is still being unrepentant and clinging to that sin which hurts them...like clinging to drugs but wondering why their life is still messed up...like trying to cling to a gangrenous arm unwilling to cut it off regardless of how it will affect the rest of the body...is spiritually counterproductive? Aren't we all thankful for being confronted with our sins? Even if we didn't like hearing it at first?...We know it is a spiritual war...When a person is demonically oppressed...the person wants to be released from their sin...Yes show love and compassion for a person wanting help...but we have seen those who denied Christ and his help were not continually catered to... The adulterous woman was shown compassion because she listened to Jesus, the Pharisees were not because they did not listen...The Love of Christ included confrontation without condemnation...the Pharisees were never told they were going to hell...but they were still confronted with their sin every bit as much as the adulterous woman...Who showed they listened?..Jennymae I believe you were correct in saying you could not help those people if they kept running back to that which hurt them.

 

[MiaH]

Re: Why Does "I Think I'm Gay" Get Such a Different Reaction From "I Am Obese"?

so what happens if you love a person with the same gender but commit no sexual acts or thoughts? like you genuinely love the person for who she/he is and not lusting?