Hey everyone,
A post in another thread made me want to ask this question. I'd like to start off by saying that OF COURSE I know each situation is different and in some cases, a single might have more disposable income, and in other cases, someone else may not. It's highly individual.
But here are the questions I found myself wanting to ask:
* When were you in the best place financially? When you were married, in a relationship, or single?
* How did changing from one state to another (single to taken or taken to single) impact your finances?
* Has your marital (or non-marital) status influenced the way you handle money? (For instance, does a single without a family feel less pressure to take on a high-stress promotion?)
* If you are single, how does the hope for marriage and a family impact your financial planning? (Do you save for a future ring, wedding, or family?)
I can say that for myself, I am in a much better place as a single, only because when I was in relationships, I was very young (starting at about age 17) and for some reason, always chose guys who loved to spend money and never thought about how they'd pay for real life. Of course, back then, we were also at the beginning of living as independent adults and learning how to handle money.
My first boyfriend was a wonderful person but when he got his first place, all his bills wound up being due around the same week. If it was any other week of the month, for some reason, he saw himself as having no bills and would spend all his money on whatever he wanted. When "bill week" did come around, he tried to cover everything with only one check (which, of course, was impossible) and was always falling short.
I was living in various places (with family, then in a dorm) going to school and working a lot, and because we were talking about getting married, I was always trying to help him cover his bills. I felt I had to.
This has been a hallmark throughout my relationships.
I don't need someone who has money. I just need someone who knows how to handle it responsibly. I know everyone's situation is different, but for myself, I know I'm much more at peace financially because I am only trying to cover one set of bills instead of two (another relationship that involved children meant paying for an entire family as well.) I am also someone who, in general, likes to work and would probably feel a bit useless without a job (BUT THIS IS JUST ME--I am certainly NOT speaking for anyone else.)
Everyone is built differently. And, I grew up in a family of stay-at-home mothers, which I know is a 24/7 job in itself.
This is also an interesting topic when we talk about God's roles of Leadership within Marriage.
* Should a man expect when he goes from being single to being married that he will pay for most everything?
* Should a woman be expected to cover at least 50% of the bills?
* Does a "traditional" marriage mean the man works and the wife stays at home?
Of course, I'm not expecting everyone to answer all of these questions (though you are welcome to!)
But I would love to hear any thoughts that came to your mind as you read them.
A post in another thread made me want to ask this question. I'd like to start off by saying that OF COURSE I know each situation is different and in some cases, a single might have more disposable income, and in other cases, someone else may not. It's highly individual.
But here are the questions I found myself wanting to ask:
* When were you in the best place financially? When you were married, in a relationship, or single?
* How did changing from one state to another (single to taken or taken to single) impact your finances?
* Has your marital (or non-marital) status influenced the way you handle money? (For instance, does a single without a family feel less pressure to take on a high-stress promotion?)
* If you are single, how does the hope for marriage and a family impact your financial planning? (Do you save for a future ring, wedding, or family?)
I can say that for myself, I am in a much better place as a single, only because when I was in relationships, I was very young (starting at about age 17) and for some reason, always chose guys who loved to spend money and never thought about how they'd pay for real life. Of course, back then, we were also at the beginning of living as independent adults and learning how to handle money.
My first boyfriend was a wonderful person but when he got his first place, all his bills wound up being due around the same week. If it was any other week of the month, for some reason, he saw himself as having no bills and would spend all his money on whatever he wanted. When "bill week" did come around, he tried to cover everything with only one check (which, of course, was impossible) and was always falling short.
I was living in various places (with family, then in a dorm) going to school and working a lot, and because we were talking about getting married, I was always trying to help him cover his bills. I felt I had to.
This has been a hallmark throughout my relationships.
I don't need someone who has money. I just need someone who knows how to handle it responsibly. I know everyone's situation is different, but for myself, I know I'm much more at peace financially because I am only trying to cover one set of bills instead of two (another relationship that involved children meant paying for an entire family as well.) I am also someone who, in general, likes to work and would probably feel a bit useless without a job (BUT THIS IS JUST ME--I am certainly NOT speaking for anyone else.)
Everyone is built differently. And, I grew up in a family of stay-at-home mothers, which I know is a 24/7 job in itself.
This is also an interesting topic when we talk about God's roles of Leadership within Marriage.
* Should a man expect when he goes from being single to being married that he will pay for most everything?
* Should a woman be expected to cover at least 50% of the bills?
* Does a "traditional" marriage mean the man works and the wife stays at home?
Of course, I'm not expecting everyone to answer all of these questions (though you are welcome to!)
But I would love to hear any thoughts that came to your mind as you read them. 
