The reason I ask is because of the scripture...do not let there be even a hint of sexual immorality among you...Eph 5:3. Someone said if their motives are pure it's cool. I don't think I am capable of a completely pure motivation. Lol
I think this is a fantastically honest answer--kudos to you, Sirk, for saying what you're really thinking.
Married or single, I think extensive time around singles could possibly be tempting for anyone (if, for example, they're spending more time in places like this than with their spouse or without their spouse knowing.) Way back when I first started on CC, a moderator used to come into the Singles Chat Room and call us all out on the mic, asking us each individually if we were single. It was explained that the reason they were doing this is because they were aware of several people who had left their spouses for someone on CC.
Now, I am CERTAINLY NOT SAYING that married people who come here are somehow doing or intending to do anything wrong. NO, NO, NO. I greatly appreciate many of our regular marrieds here who post and hope they'll stay with us indefinitely. I love that they have the guts to tell us singles how married life REALLY IS instead of what we singles fantasize in our own heads. Personally, I am immensely grateful for their contributions to our community. I actually think Singles is a fantastic place for both married and single people to be real with each other about what we go through and struggle with.
But you do make an excellent point here, Sirk, and I think it's important to be honest as well. I've been in situations where married or "unhappily married" men have tried to contact me via PM's or chat and will talk about how terrible their marriage is (or that they are in the process of separating or divorcing), and I can certainly sympathize with their pain.
However, I don't keep up the communication either, because a person in that position is very vulnerable to a member of the opposite sex paying attention to them, especially when it's seen as positive (and the situation in their marriage is viewed as negative.) This opens the door to all kinds of temptations that, to me at least, need to be shut down before they ever start.
And sometimes, in all honesty, it's not so subtle. I've had some times when an unhappy married man is pretty much saying, "I'm looking for someone on the side that could possibly become a replacement." Again, I'm not saying that everyone here has those intentions at all. Of course, it could happen in just the opposite way as well (a married woman contacting a single man for support.) We all have our own struggles, and I'm not condemning anyone who may have felt or feels this way at all.
But knowing our limits is important, and as long as everyone in the community knows their boundaries and what they need to do to keep them enforced, I for one hope we continued to see married people post here.
We're also very fortunate to have a very understanding, compassionate group of marrieds who talk with us. With the exception of a few oddballs who get the urge to preach at us now and then, our married friends here don't speak down to us, tell us that we "should" be married or how to go about becoming married, and they don't try to take over the forum. If that ever happened, I would hope there would be some intervention.
(A while back there was a married man coming into Singles chat who would take over the mic and lecture us the entire time about how to become married. We were told to report it to a mod if it happened again.)
