Life, and stuff...it's kinda crazy, yeah? I feel like I've been going non-stop for weeks now, but I haven't got anything to show for it except two cans of cheap chili and $10 worth of paper towels.
Um...
I've been having an incredibly rough time with my kids. I mean, it's good, one is learning to read and do chores and the other is learning...or not learning, we're not sure yet...to use a toilet (I told y'all my life is glamorous) and to NOT scream every time she doesn't get her way. It's been tough because I apparently haven't got any patience. I'm over here like Come on kids, people do this stuff all the time, what's the hold up? But I mean, they're 4 and 2, THEY don't do this stuff every day, so they're like...WAAAAHHHH I caaaaan't! And MOM HELP! And I DONT WANT TO! All of which seems a lot funnier now, at the end of the day while they're sleeping, than it does at 6:45 in the morning.
So anyway, then my husband's grandpa fell and broke his hip, which has my mother-in-law beyond stressed out and venting an entire lifetime's worth of pain and regrets regarding her dad...all to me. And I GET IT. I do. I felt so much the same when My dad was hurt two years ago. And I don't know how to set aside my own silly stress over my kids to help her deal with hers over her father.
And I'm trying so hard to do my part in helping with the household budget, but groceries are just going to be expensive for four people no matter what I do, more so when I'm also trying to stock up emergency supplies. And...I'm trying to do too much by myself even though I don't Have to do it on my own.
So when my husband offered to keep both kiddos so I could grocery shop alone last night, and I had a full hour to myself, I thought it was probably time to ask God to take over. To help me calm down, prioritize, focus. I had to admit I was in over my head, and ask Him to show me what to do.
Today has been amazing. I'd forgotten what life could be like if I just...enjoyed people, instead of worrying that I wasn't doing things right, or enough, or on time. I didn't freak out about anything. I didn't feel like tearing my hair out when my daughter screamed for no apparent reason. I didn't worry that I needed to be doing something else while my son read an entire book to me all by himself. We all went outside and played in the leaves. My MIL got some sleep. My husband and I sat on the steps and listened to the kids fight about who sings what in Frozen, and we laughed together.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me how blessed we are. And for showing me that I don't have to have everything under control in order to be happy. Oh! And for the $50 I saved on groceries last night, when I Never manage to be that much under budget.
The little things mean a lot. It's easy to forget to be thankful for them. Even if it's cheap chili and paper towels (but, I mean, they're good paper towels...).
P.S.- PopClick, those flip-flops are fantastical!