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F
No hoaxes, no red herrings, no goose chases. I am being sincere.
I went to church today. I talked to my pastor. I'm going to call him on Tuesday to set some time to meet with him.
I appreciate the honesty, and I promise to you, I am being real, sincere, and...VULNERABLE TO JUDGEMENT...exposing myself like this. As I stated in the first post, some things I say will rub some of you the wrong way, and I may even react a certain way.
The one thing I have learned from most of you (with the exception of one person), is that, from how YOU ALL understand the LORD, you LOVE him. I have no love for him. I look at what I have, and feel cheated and ripped off. You all are thankful, grateful, and appreciative of what he has done.
It's funny...to PROVE I am not hoaxing you...TWICE, THIS WEEKEND, I was both shown by a friend...and INDIRECTLY stumbled upon...verses from the 1st and 2nd letters to Timothy from Paul. This tells me the holy spirit is throwing hints and signals at me. 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy. It exposed me as the guy who the congregation should stay away from. I am not that guy. Believe me. I just want to love the LORD without looking at him like he's a cheat or a swindler who stole my happiness and success from me before I was even born.
I'm tired of having to put a mental chokehold on God and demand fairness. I'm sick and tired of looking up to the sky, and shaking my fist at him, clenching so hard it hurts.
Honestly, as I am NOW, I'd rather have $200,000,000 USD than follow Christ. I would put Jesus on sale for $200 million USD. It's not the money that counts...but it's the broken dreams, dissapointments, shame, lack of achievement, and lack of blessings I had to tolerate and swallow from a LORD who has never revealed himself to me, even though I BELIEVE HE IS REAL, and that I put my faith in what Jesus did on the cross for ALL OF YOU. I'd say me too, but for all I know, his salvation in MY life might as well be as real as vapor, from what I've seen happen.
What I TRULY WANT...is to be able to love Christ and give my life to him, without wanting to crush his skull in with a brick at the lack of growth in my life. I read those verses in Timothy, and the rest of the bible...every time I see and hear those rules of living in Christ, I want to throw my bible against a wall. I already threw 2 of my bibles in the trash, and I PAID FOR THEM. (This was a year ago. I would not do so now).
...I want it all to stop. I just want to love the LORD, and allow the LORD to lead me to love others. I want to do his will, but I refuse to serve a master who treats me like insignificant. I refuse to serve a master who doesn't even reveal himself to me just to say "hi". I will not give my loyalty to someone who does not care to speak to me, even though I pray to him and get no answer.
Whatever.
I went to church today. I talked to my pastor. I'm going to call him on Tuesday to set some time to meet with him.
I appreciate the honesty, and I promise to you, I am being real, sincere, and...VULNERABLE TO JUDGEMENT...exposing myself like this. As I stated in the first post, some things I say will rub some of you the wrong way, and I may even react a certain way.
The one thing I have learned from most of you (with the exception of one person), is that, from how YOU ALL understand the LORD, you LOVE him. I have no love for him. I look at what I have, and feel cheated and ripped off. You all are thankful, grateful, and appreciative of what he has done.
It's funny...to PROVE I am not hoaxing you...TWICE, THIS WEEKEND, I was both shown by a friend...and INDIRECTLY stumbled upon...verses from the 1st and 2nd letters to Timothy from Paul. This tells me the holy spirit is throwing hints and signals at me. 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy. It exposed me as the guy who the congregation should stay away from. I am not that guy. Believe me. I just want to love the LORD without looking at him like he's a cheat or a swindler who stole my happiness and success from me before I was even born.
I'm tired of having to put a mental chokehold on God and demand fairness. I'm sick and tired of looking up to the sky, and shaking my fist at him, clenching so hard it hurts.
Honestly, as I am NOW, I'd rather have $200,000,000 USD than follow Christ. I would put Jesus on sale for $200 million USD. It's not the money that counts...but it's the broken dreams, dissapointments, shame, lack of achievement, and lack of blessings I had to tolerate and swallow from a LORD who has never revealed himself to me, even though I BELIEVE HE IS REAL, and that I put my faith in what Jesus did on the cross for ALL OF YOU. I'd say me too, but for all I know, his salvation in MY life might as well be as real as vapor, from what I've seen happen.
What I TRULY WANT...is to be able to love Christ and give my life to him, without wanting to crush his skull in with a brick at the lack of growth in my life. I read those verses in Timothy, and the rest of the bible...every time I see and hear those rules of living in Christ, I want to throw my bible against a wall. I already threw 2 of my bibles in the trash, and I PAID FOR THEM. (This was a year ago. I would not do so now).
...I want it all to stop. I just want to love the LORD, and allow the LORD to lead me to love others. I want to do his will, but I refuse to serve a master who treats me like insignificant. I refuse to serve a master who doesn't even reveal himself to me just to say "hi". I will not give my loyalty to someone who does not care to speak to me, even though I pray to him and get no answer.
Whatever.
M
Meeting with your pastor is a good step in the right direction but you should be as candid with him as you have been here. I'm sorry you feel that God hasn't revealed Himself to you...yet. Maybe He is waiting for your anger to subside. "Be still and know that I am God" springs to mind. I will pray for you, you clearly to want to know God yet you seem to want the world too. When you truly have God in your life you will realise that the world actually sucks. My boss is a millionaire - is he happy? Not on your life, he is the most miserable guy I know. Money and worldly things is not the answer. You do not need to be rich (in money) to be happy, God provides for our needs but we do not need an influx of money.
I hope you find God because with Him comes happiness and contentment.
I hope you find God because with Him comes happiness and contentment.
You nailed it Dalconn. The enemy is filling him with lies. He just needs to press in and seek Christ more. He needs to keep allowing God to renew his mind through the word. Making Christ Lord of our life is not always easy. We,ve all been there .
But we trust even when we dont understand and we follow even when we dont fully know where we are going. That is faith!
But we trust even when we dont understand and we follow even when we dont fully know where we are going. That is faith!
There is never an excuse for mocking either right? And yes, age should have everything to do with it. You would think an old man would have more sense than to laugh at another who came for answers.
Titus 2:2
1But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.
Scripture has the final word ......................
Titus 2:2
1But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.
Scripture has the final word ......................
V
Dear young man, being in submission to Christ means your mind has surrendered to the truth that the Lord has total dominion over your life. You will not escape. nothing can separate you from Him, not even your doubt. He redeemed you with His blood. In other words, you did not "will" your soul to Him.
The reality is, you are a prisoner of Christ (Eph 3:1 - Eph 4:1) No man comes to God unless He calls him. Your struggle is not with anything but your flesh warring against the truth. Your carnal (logical, ego) mind is lying to you. It can't receive from God. You must put on the mind of Christ. That is, you must give up your "wisdom" and analytical thinking (ego, flesh) and realize that you're fighting a losing battle. It is finished. You belong to God.
K
Maybe he actually has a life? Hmm.....what a concept. Is there a time frame that would be acceptable to all who are questioning his validity ? Maybe he didnt get the memo
I don't think you have a clue as to how valuable you are to God.... If you had been the only sinner Jesus would have come and died just for you alone. That is how much God places on your worth to Him....All He asks us to do is to submit to His will and follow Him with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength...
I had a hard time loving God because I felt like a hypocrite and He is showing me how to love Him....I too have been angry at God but realize I have no right to be angry at Him. He has shown me just how much He loves me and He will and has done the same for you... You just have to accept it and move on with Him by your side.
I had a hard time loving God because I felt like a hypocrite and He is showing me how to love Him....I too have been angry at God but realize I have no right to be angry at Him. He has shown me just how much He loves me and He will and has done the same for you... You just have to accept it and move on with Him by your side.
K
I dont think anyone here wants to judge you.You have said you are direct and Im guessing you expect the same response back. People to be straight with you. Just be careful what you ask for around here.
Quote "The one thing I have learned from most of you (with the exception of one person), is that, from how YOU ALL understand the LORD, you LOVE him. I have no love for him. I look at what I have, The one thing I have learned from most of you (with the exception of one person), is that, from how YOU ALL understand the LORD, you LOVE him. I have no love for him. I look at what I have, and feel cheated and ripped off. . "
Could you be more specific about this..."I look at what I have, and feel cheated and ripped off."
And also here...I'm sick and tired of looking up to the sky, and shaking my fist at him, clenching so hard it hurts.
Is there something more behind this? I mean can you share more about your life?Why do you feel this so deeply,why so angry.
Quote "Honestly, as I am NOW, I'd rather have $200,000,000 USD than follow Christ. I would put Jesus on sale for $200 million USD. It's not the money that counts...but it's the broken dreams, dissapointments, shame, lack of achievement, and lack of blessings I had to tolerate and swallow from a LORD who has never revealed himself to me, even though I BELIEVE HE IS REAL"
Let me give you a vision if you'll allow me.Pretend you committed a murder.Something happened,you lost your temper and killed a person.You know your guilty,you deserve the death penalty,no doubt about it. The jury files in and says "he's guilty" the penalty is death.Tehe judge is ready to hit the gavel,you are in chains,you're going to death row. Suddenly a man jumps up out of the gallery and says "I am going to go in his place.He committed the crime but Im going to go to death row in his place.Im going to die and he can go free." They take your chains off and shackle an innocent man. Hes willingly giving His life for you. Now stick with me here.In that moment you look him in the eyes and say " can you give me a million dollars,the perfect wife,and a mansion on the hill too?" No you wouldnt say that. You'd be grateful. God doesn't owe you or me anything. Jesus gave His life. What more can we ask of Him?
People have been murdered in the name of Christ.I mean recently.Early Christians were fed to lions.Jesus apostles were all martyred, except for one. Jesus was crucified. Where do we think we deserve a life of ease? The Bible says "take up your cross and follow me." He told the rich young ruler to leave all he had and follow Him" The rich young ruler was a lot like you,he walked away because he couldnt give up his life of comfort,riches and position.
Hope you're still with me...
What I TRULY WANT...is to be able to love Christ and give my life to him, without wanting to crush his skull in with a brick at the lack of growth in my life.
Im going to be totally blunt here.You say you have lack of growth in your life,which is up to you BTW, can I ask how often you have volunteered? How often have you given to someone that has less then you. Have you gone to a hospital to pray with the sick. Do you offer to help out at church?You want to be blessed? Bless others. Trust me,no better way to forget your troubles then reaching out to people in need.
Quote "I want to do his will, but I refuse to serve a master who treats me like insignificant."
If you think this master treats you like you are insignificant? Follow the other master.See where he leaves you. A man named Donnie Sumner use to sing with Elvis Presley. He had money,he had position,he had reached his goals.One night he tells the story of how he was standing on a motel balcony ready to jump off. He was saved that night. What you think you are wanting is nothing.Its empty.I have a friend whose son wrote for a major sitcom. He had been to Hollywood and met some of the biggest stars,knew them personally.And he said they were some of the most miserable,unhappy and empty people he'd ever met.
Quote " I will not give my loyalty to someone who does not care to speak to me, even though I pray to him and get no answer."
Im seriously not going to lie to you.There have been times Ive felt this way. God felt so far away.When my grandmother died of a brain tumor, when my second grandmother died of uterine cancer,when my only aunt died of stomach cancer,at 43yrs of age,you bet I had questions for God. Thats when I read Job. I advise you to do the same.
You arent doing God any favors by serving Him. He wants you to serve Him,willingly. But God knows your heart isnt in it.In essence you arent serving Him. You're doing it grudgingly not willingly. So if you think you're following Him you arent.Not with the attitude you have. If you are as young as your profile says you need some time to mature.I was in my late 30s before I ever dated.I met my now husband and was in my early 40s before I ever got married. You need to learn to bloom where you are planted.You say you cant be content with that. Well you know there are people that have sat in concentration camps and still found God. Google Corrie Ten Boom. You gotta be appreciative for what you've got. How can God trust you with more when you can be faithful with a little?! Im not trying to be nasty.Just direct.Hope you give what I said some honest thought.
Quote "The one thing I have learned from most of you (with the exception of one person), is that, from how YOU ALL understand the LORD, you LOVE him. I have no love for him. I look at what I have, The one thing I have learned from most of you (with the exception of one person), is that, from how YOU ALL understand the LORD, you LOVE him. I have no love for him. I look at what I have, and feel cheated and ripped off. . "
Could you be more specific about this..."I look at what I have, and feel cheated and ripped off."
And also here...I'm sick and tired of looking up to the sky, and shaking my fist at him, clenching so hard it hurts.
Is there something more behind this? I mean can you share more about your life?Why do you feel this so deeply,why so angry.
Quote "Honestly, as I am NOW, I'd rather have $200,000,000 USD than follow Christ. I would put Jesus on sale for $200 million USD. It's not the money that counts...but it's the broken dreams, dissapointments, shame, lack of achievement, and lack of blessings I had to tolerate and swallow from a LORD who has never revealed himself to me, even though I BELIEVE HE IS REAL"
Let me give you a vision if you'll allow me.Pretend you committed a murder.Something happened,you lost your temper and killed a person.You know your guilty,you deserve the death penalty,no doubt about it. The jury files in and says "he's guilty" the penalty is death.Tehe judge is ready to hit the gavel,you are in chains,you're going to death row. Suddenly a man jumps up out of the gallery and says "I am going to go in his place.He committed the crime but Im going to go to death row in his place.Im going to die and he can go free." They take your chains off and shackle an innocent man. Hes willingly giving His life for you. Now stick with me here.In that moment you look him in the eyes and say " can you give me a million dollars,the perfect wife,and a mansion on the hill too?" No you wouldnt say that. You'd be grateful. God doesn't owe you or me anything. Jesus gave His life. What more can we ask of Him?
People have been murdered in the name of Christ.I mean recently.Early Christians were fed to lions.Jesus apostles were all martyred, except for one. Jesus was crucified. Where do we think we deserve a life of ease? The Bible says "take up your cross and follow me." He told the rich young ruler to leave all he had and follow Him" The rich young ruler was a lot like you,he walked away because he couldnt give up his life of comfort,riches and position.
Hope you're still with me...
What I TRULY WANT...is to be able to love Christ and give my life to him, without wanting to crush his skull in with a brick at the lack of growth in my life.
Im going to be totally blunt here.You say you have lack of growth in your life,which is up to you BTW, can I ask how often you have volunteered? How often have you given to someone that has less then you. Have you gone to a hospital to pray with the sick. Do you offer to help out at church?You want to be blessed? Bless others. Trust me,no better way to forget your troubles then reaching out to people in need.
Quote "I want to do his will, but I refuse to serve a master who treats me like insignificant."
If you think this master treats you like you are insignificant? Follow the other master.See where he leaves you. A man named Donnie Sumner use to sing with Elvis Presley. He had money,he had position,he had reached his goals.One night he tells the story of how he was standing on a motel balcony ready to jump off. He was saved that night. What you think you are wanting is nothing.Its empty.I have a friend whose son wrote for a major sitcom. He had been to Hollywood and met some of the biggest stars,knew them personally.And he said they were some of the most miserable,unhappy and empty people he'd ever met.
Quote " I will not give my loyalty to someone who does not care to speak to me, even though I pray to him and get no answer."
Im seriously not going to lie to you.There have been times Ive felt this way. God felt so far away.When my grandmother died of a brain tumor, when my second grandmother died of uterine cancer,when my only aunt died of stomach cancer,at 43yrs of age,you bet I had questions for God. Thats when I read Job. I advise you to do the same.
You arent doing God any favors by serving Him. He wants you to serve Him,willingly. But God knows your heart isnt in it.In essence you arent serving Him. You're doing it grudgingly not willingly. So if you think you're following Him you arent.Not with the attitude you have. If you are as young as your profile says you need some time to mature.I was in my late 30s before I ever dated.I met my now husband and was in my early 40s before I ever got married. You need to learn to bloom where you are planted.You say you cant be content with that. Well you know there are people that have sat in concentration camps and still found God. Google Corrie Ten Boom. You gotta be appreciative for what you've got. How can God trust you with more when you can be faithful with a little?! Im not trying to be nasty.Just direct.Hope you give what I said some honest thought.
"Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice! Philippians 4:4.
Here is why God exhorts you to rejoice always: Rejoicing is a Spiritual weapon to fight off attacks on your mind. Rejoicing is a Spiritual weapons given to us by God. It's like anti-venom from a poisonous snake bite. Truly--It can be a Spiritual life-saver, especially when you are being strongly tempted to tell God at a subconscious level, "Go take a hike, God. You could have prevented this pain I'm experiencing, but you didn't!"
Rejoicing is not about trying to pretend you're not in pain. It's believing that though the focused discipline of rejoicing.....the peace of God which surpasses all understanding may visit you when it might not otherwise. {see: Phil. 4:7}.
Rejoicing may also impart to you the Supernatural ability to deal EASIER with your pain.....as the Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul declared:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13.~
Rejoicing may also impart Trust {faith} in God {which includes His promises in the Bible} That you may not receive otherwise.
Rejoicing may also motivate God to shower you with greater blessing--or withhold blessing from you--if you choose not to engage in rejoicing.
So, basically to the wise Christian, purposing to rejoice is not an option, lest you be in the throws of judgement. No soldier refuses to use a weapon if odds increase it will help him/her stay alive, and increase one's well-being. I pray God reveals this to you, for in it's revelation, you will become enlightened to the fact rejoicing is a spiritual weapon that is supernaturally powerful. You will want to use it on a daily basis. There are more things to be said, but none more than this God has given me to share with you yet...If you are in a difficult place in life where there is nothing in you that you can think of to rejoice about, you may want to do yourself a huge favor and employ the weapon of Fasting!
Here is why God exhorts you to rejoice always: Rejoicing is a Spiritual weapon to fight off attacks on your mind. Rejoicing is a Spiritual weapons given to us by God. It's like anti-venom from a poisonous snake bite. Truly--It can be a Spiritual life-saver, especially when you are being strongly tempted to tell God at a subconscious level, "Go take a hike, God. You could have prevented this pain I'm experiencing, but you didn't!"
Rejoicing is not about trying to pretend you're not in pain. It's believing that though the focused discipline of rejoicing.....the peace of God which surpasses all understanding may visit you when it might not otherwise. {see: Phil. 4:7}.
Rejoicing may also impart to you the Supernatural ability to deal EASIER with your pain.....as the Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul declared:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13.~
Rejoicing may also impart Trust {faith} in God {which includes His promises in the Bible} That you may not receive otherwise.
Rejoicing may also motivate God to shower you with greater blessing--or withhold blessing from you--if you choose not to engage in rejoicing.
So, basically to the wise Christian, purposing to rejoice is not an option, lest you be in the throws of judgement. No soldier refuses to use a weapon if odds increase it will help him/her stay alive, and increase one's well-being. I pray God reveals this to you, for in it's revelation, you will become enlightened to the fact rejoicing is a spiritual weapon that is supernaturally powerful. You will want to use it on a daily basis. There are more things to be said, but none more than this God has given me to share with you yet...If you are in a difficult place in life where there is nothing in you that you can think of to rejoice about, you may want to do yourself a huge favor and employ the weapon of Fasting!