GUYS - I need some advice

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chrissyoxox

Guest
#1
#1
I met a guy online and we went out on two dates... both went really well.. we had a connection as well as a lot of fun and laughs..
He lives in alberta and comes home for a weeks time every month, so I had seen him on his time here.
After the second date he still pursued in texting and remaining in contact. Then once it was time to come down here for the holidays... no contact.. I texted him twice just asking how he was and telling him I hope you have a good trip and a good day.
No response..
It's been about 18 days of nothing.
He showed interest for 3 months and now I'm confused ... do I talk to him about it and communicate something like - hey, are we cool??? Or ask him when we will go to the shooting range (because he said he wanted to do this on his free time when he's here) but he's back home now..
Should I ask something or just keep quiet?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#2
Perhaps you could ask what might be bothering him. Tell him you care about him a lot and that you are very concerned. He might just needed a little time to sort things out. I will pray that God's will be done in both of your lives and for God to remove this anxiety from you and provide you with peace and comfort. God Bless You.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#3
Jun 30, 2015
25,409
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#3
Hi Chrissy, welcome to CC from a fellow Canuck!

It sounds like your friend has either made a choice to move on, or has been rendered unable to communicate with you. I'd opt for the more likely scenario... that he decided he's not interested. Don't hang on tightly to a tenuous connection. Let him contact you, if he so chooses. In the meantime, get on with your life.

Trust in the Lord completely when it comes to relationships. He loves you enough to lead you to the right man for you. By all means look, but actively seek God's guidance. And be patient! :)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
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#4
Online relationships very often do not work out very well in real life. It's been 18 days, over two weeks, since you've heard from him. I agree with Dino's response, either this guy has blown you off and gone back to live his life, and/ or he's just not interested anymore.
 
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chrissyoxox

Guest
#5
#5
Why would a guy say he still wants to do things together then?
I mean after the second date if a guy isn't feelin it then wouldn't they normally just not contact you anymore rather than say we will meet up in his free time when he's down?
I understand what you guys are saying for sure...
I just really dislike when guys don't communicate what they do or don't want. It makes a girl so confused at the end of the day.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
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#6
chrissyoxox said:
Why would a guy say he still wants to do things together then?
I mean after the second date if a guy isn't feelin it then wouldn't they normally just not contact you anymore rather than say we will meet up in his free time when he's down?
I understand what you guys are saying for sure...
I just really dislike when guys don't communicate what they do or don't want. It makes a girl so confused at the end of the day.
Click to expand...


Because guys are weird..lol.. Not to be mean, but maybe you were just a fun little fling for him. Maybe he didn't dig you that much, and figured it's better to blow you off than tell you he doesn't want a third date.. Then again, maybe he's just busy with work, family, friends and life..
 
BruceWayne

BruceWayne

Senior Member
#7
Aug 7, 2013
3,694
357
83
Gotham City
#7
I think that no one is so busy that they can't find even a few seconds in the day to respond to you. If he wanted to talk to you or continue to show his interest, he would. Personally I would just let it go and move on.
 
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coby

Guest
#8
#8
blue_ladybug said:
Because guys are weird..lol.. Not to be mean, but maybe you were just a fun little fling for him. Maybe he didn't dig you that much, and figured it's better to blow you off than tell you he doesn't want a third date.. Then again, maybe he's just busy with work, family, friends and life..
Click to expand...
If you have a lot of fun with someone he may not be serious about you I found out.
 
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TRSSS1stPresident

Guest
#9
#9
Wow, my post is missing here!! Why delete it?
 
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coby

Guest
#11
#11
chrissyoxox said:
Why would a guy say he still wants to do things together then?
I mean after the second date if a guy isn't feelin it then wouldn't they normally just not contact you anymore rather than say we will meet up in his free time when he's down?
I understand what you guys are saying for sure...
I just really dislike when guys don't communicate what they do or don't want. It makes a girl so confused at the end of the day.
Click to expand...
He's not interested or has fear of binding I think or is not ready for a relationship. Then they look for something safe, far away. I had a guy like that. All of a sudden he said nothing. I thought he's too chicken to tell me he isn't interested, because I noticed it on the date. So I texted: hey if you're not interested anymore, no problem, I won't get mad. Lol then he dared to say it and half a year later he wanted me back because he had fear of binding he said. I think it's best to just ask that way and then don't blame him for being too chicken to just tell you and then he'll be clear I suppose or just let it go. If he was interested he would have shown interest.
 
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TRSSS1stPresident

Guest
#12
#12
Hi again, since they will remove the thread in the introduction forum, I have quickly copied and paste so it can be in here.. :)

Hope you like my message here.

First of all, Chrissy, welcome! I have seen this quite often with people. You see, when someone shows interest and meet in person after online, you know. Things seem going well and seemly click good. But sudden someone drops out of the picture, there could be a number of reasons for that. One could be death yeah, but I am sure this one you were seeing is still alive but maybe something happened between you two and you did not notice just before he disappeared on you. Maybe he is a player. But maybe he was not a player but found someone better. Or maybe cant afford internet. I do not know what is going on with that man you were seeing. Only the Lord does.

I heard this story often from singles telling me their dates showed up and later, they disappear. These days people do not want to confront that relationships do not work or wants to break up. Internet these days has shaped society today to be hideous and not want to say, "OK, um, I do not think we are going to work out anymore." Another reason, they do not want to offend but not offending. People do not want to say honest thing anymore. Running away is a lie too. A sin.

There are many reasons but if I were you, Chrissy, because you have the faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray you do, then you can stay away from him and focus on God. Give it all to the Lord Jesus Christ. The nails are symbolic in a point of view to me means your sins. Jesus took that on the Cross for you. Same with your troubles. Please read 1 Peter 5:7 and Psalms 55:22 in your bible.

That is best answer. What is in past stay in past. Look at present and future with yourself and with God. Isaiah 43:18 and Philippians 3:3. Please read those as well.

Hey, you know what, Chrissy? The Lord has someone better. Sometimes things like this happens to you and others when someone disappears in your life is when God moves that person away for a good reason and make you and others stronger. I went through this boat before. I know how it goes. God is good!

I pray you will let it go and move on. God bless! Again, welcome! :)
 
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TRSSS1stPresident

Guest
#13
#13
I found out it was on the other one and I got confused, I did not read it was on here or was it in on the introduction page. After here, I went back to Chrissy's profile and went to check on her posting and threads.. I noticed the two same things she posted.. it was a trick to my eyes! Duh me! So, I had to repost it in here because I am sure the mod will remove the introduction thread. It is not that long!! At least not Bible-length! Or a Thesis length! I have written books, a dissertation, and sermons as well as my own blog easily found on my site which FB also gets. OK? GB!
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#14
Jun 30, 2015
25,409
13,750
113
#14
chrissyoxox said:
Why would a guy say he still wants to do things together then? ...
I just really dislike when guys don't communicate what they do or don't want. It makes a girl so confused at the end of the day.
Click to expand...
Like Blue said, only differently... guys are wired differently than gals are. The expectations (if any) which a guy has about a relationship are simply different than the expectations a gal has (again, if any). What a guy really wants may be buried beneath layers of things: old hurts, new stresses, what he had for breakfast, what his boss said three weeks ago, what engine is in the car next to him on the road, what colour jeans he's wearing with his shirt (umm, no!). Without intending any hurt, you may be the fourteenth thing on his mind. Guys are generally single-track-minded (and I don't mean sex; just one thing at any given time).

One of the many books on marriage which I read after my marriage ended discussed how we develop wants and expectations, but don't get them validated beforehand by our partner. When our expectations aren't fulfilled, we get hurt and blame our partner, where the partner actually has no responsibility in the matter, and may not even have been on the same page.

Communication is important, so if this fellow contacts you again, be up front about asking him what his intentions are for your relationship. Tell him how his response, and lack of communication in the meantime, makes you feel (but don't be clingy... many guys don't find that attractive!).
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#15
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
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#15
TRSSS1stPresident said:
I found out it was on the other one and I got confused, I did not read it was on here or was it in on the introduction page. After here, I went back to Chrissy's profile and went to check on her posting and threads.. I noticed the two same things she posted.. it was a trick to my eyes! Duh me! So, I had to repost it in here because I am sure the mod will remove the introduction thread. It is not that long!! At least not Bible-length! Or a Thesis length! I have written books, a dissertation, and sermons as well as my own blog easily found on my site which FB also gets. OK? GB!
Click to expand...

Calm down and take a breath. I didn't say you had a really long post, I SAID that if people write a long post that takes like a half hour to write, then it will auto self-delete, because replies on here usually aren't meant to take that long to write.. :) And CC is a far cry from being FakeBook..lol
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#16
#16
chrissyoxox said:
Why would a guy say he still wants to do things together then?
I mean after the second date if a guy isn't feelin it then wouldn't they normally just not contact you anymore rather than say we will meet up in his free time when he's down?
I understand what you guys are saying for sure...
I just really dislike when guys don't communicate what they do or don't want. It makes a girl so confused at the end of the day.
Click to expand...
No one here can answer this. Only that guy knows his reasons. We could all sit here and make guesses and speculate, none of which will do you any good.
But also note guys are not the only ones to do such things. It's not a gender issue, it's a heart issue.
 
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crosstweed

Guest
#17
#17
These are all good points and I think he's probably moving on... but I'd be tempted to ask him, just to be on the safe side. I mean, stuff does happen.
"So, why didn't you get back to me?"
"Aliens."
And then you know it's definitely time to move on.
 
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TRSSS1stPresident

Guest
#18
#18
crosstweed said:
These are all good points and I think he's probably moving on... but I'd be tempted to ask him, just to be on the safe side. I mean, stuff does happen.
"So, why didn't you get back to me?"
"Aliens."
And then you know it's definitely time to move on.
Click to expand...
Ha ha ha. Very funny, I love this one! "Aliens" I get it! Oh man!! So funny that I cant stop laughing. Good one!
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#20
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
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#20
Presume that he isn't interested and move on. If he still likes you, he will initiate contact again.

Oh, and, this is not something that only men do.
 
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