After I read the book boundaries, it opened my eyes to many many things that were very wrong with how I was living and living with others. Ever since then I've been learning how to identify who I am, and being free from what people expected me to be. I don't have a support group to back me up, though, and all my life, I lived in the shadow of what people around me thought I should be. I was who my parents, church and friends wanted me to be, and ended up being so miserable. I know God gave me strength to go through this and overcome, grow and mature into who He has called me to be, but having no other human who knows exactly what's going on and someone who could help when I have questions like the thread title, can be quite a challenge.
So, with that, I need your help guys. I've learned to deal with a handful of people that were very controlling of me, and not recognizing my boundaries; people who I always ended up trying to please. And although it's hard, I've learned the basics, just need to stay closer to God than I ever was.
What I'm needing help with is, how do I deal with them, if it's a group of them? Like, I live with 4 other people. Let me give you a sample scenario:
We're in a group chat, they be like (and this was exactly how the conversation went):
Person 1: Hey Abi, you wanna watch a movie with us tonight?
Me: Well, I'm trying to finish something... what time? (Off work and at home that day)
Person 2: The movie's got great reviews, we can go after our work.
Person 3: And we have a movie voucher.
Me: Wow that sounds cool.
Person 1: Well, the voucher's at home, and we'll have to do the booking at the counter to use it. So someone has to do it. Since you're not working today, can you do it?
Me: But I'm doing something important.
Person 2: It won't take long and the voucher will expire soon!
Person 3: Yeah, just take a few minutes, go to the mall and have it booked for all of us.
Me: I'm not even sure if I'm going, cause I'm working on my sister's project.
Person 1: Oh that can wait! The voucher can't.
Person 4: Yeah, come on, you can do it.
Me: But...
Person 2: Yes you can, it honestly doesn't take that long!
Person 3: Yeah, you, like, never go out, so it's good for you.
Me: I really can't, I'm sorry.
Person 1: Wow.
Person 2: Yeah, well.
Person 3: ...
Person 4: *cry face*
After that, they went to the movies without inviting me. I said I couldn't book it for them, but since I couldn't, apparently I wasn't worth the invitation anymore xD I got the silent treatment for a few days. I live with these people, and yeah, every day's kind of a struggle tbh similar events have occurred even after that. At least, the last few weeks, it hasn't been that frequent, because I avoided going out with them. But this weekend, we went to Malaysia, and the same thing happened again. They ask me to do things for them, which are usually very inconvenient (I know, it's bullying but I thought I could give them the benefit of the doubt, but this misery is agonizing).
So, how do I deal with these guys? I can only think of one solution, and that's to move out. But my lease expires this November. And I can't help to think that if I never learn to overcome them, how will I mature?
Any tips? Advise?
So, with that, I need your help guys. I've learned to deal with a handful of people that were very controlling of me, and not recognizing my boundaries; people who I always ended up trying to please. And although it's hard, I've learned the basics, just need to stay closer to God than I ever was.
What I'm needing help with is, how do I deal with them, if it's a group of them? Like, I live with 4 other people. Let me give you a sample scenario:
We're in a group chat, they be like (and this was exactly how the conversation went):
Person 1: Hey Abi, you wanna watch a movie with us tonight?
Me: Well, I'm trying to finish something... what time? (Off work and at home that day)
Person 2: The movie's got great reviews, we can go after our work.
Person 3: And we have a movie voucher.
Me: Wow that sounds cool.
Person 1: Well, the voucher's at home, and we'll have to do the booking at the counter to use it. So someone has to do it. Since you're not working today, can you do it?
Me: But I'm doing something important.
Person 2: It won't take long and the voucher will expire soon!
Person 3: Yeah, just take a few minutes, go to the mall and have it booked for all of us.
Me: I'm not even sure if I'm going, cause I'm working on my sister's project.
Person 1: Oh that can wait! The voucher can't.
Person 4: Yeah, come on, you can do it.
Me: But...
Person 2: Yes you can, it honestly doesn't take that long!
Person 3: Yeah, you, like, never go out, so it's good for you.
Me: I really can't, I'm sorry.
Person 1: Wow.
Person 2: Yeah, well.
Person 3: ...
Person 4: *cry face*
After that, they went to the movies without inviting me. I said I couldn't book it for them, but since I couldn't, apparently I wasn't worth the invitation anymore xD I got the silent treatment for a few days. I live with these people, and yeah, every day's kind of a struggle tbh similar events have occurred even after that. At least, the last few weeks, it hasn't been that frequent, because I avoided going out with them. But this weekend, we went to Malaysia, and the same thing happened again. They ask me to do things for them, which are usually very inconvenient (I know, it's bullying but I thought I could give them the benefit of the doubt, but this misery is agonizing).
So, how do I deal with these guys? I can only think of one solution, and that's to move out. But my lease expires this November. And I can't help to think that if I never learn to overcome them, how will I mature?
Any tips? Advise?
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