Hey Everyone,
I know it's unrealistic to ask guys to publicly spill their thoughts about what makes them feel protected, so if you give me a few minutes, I'm going to create an anonymous, multiple choice poll.
The poll won't be perfect, but I'm trying to work with what the system allows. Please be aware that there will be some "choices" that are actually new questions, and options for the answers will be listed below the questions.
I have often thought about the fact that for many guys, the last time they may have ever felt someone was looking out for them was when they were living at home with their families. And in some cases, the most unsafe place in the world just might have been the home situation they were brought up in. But guys are human beings all the same, and, whether they feel they can admit it or not, I'm sure they all have times when they wish someone had their back, too.
A long time ago, when I was dating the guy I eventually married, he got a phone call one night while he was visiting me at my school. I knew something was wrong as soon as he answered, and when he got off the phone, he crumbled into one of those silent expressions of agony that speaks louder than words. I didn't know what else to do but fold my arms around him and wait until he could tell me what was going on.
I admit that I'm very much "like a guy" in times of crisis. My first reaction is to address the emotion; my second instinct is to kick into, "Let's Fix This" mode, and so I told him this was what we were going to do: we were going to pool our money together and find a way for him to go visit his family and get a few things straightened out.
I have more than my fair share of weaknesses but there are days when I dream of being strong. If I could create a movie poster for my idea of a relationship, one of the versions of the poster would be of me looking like Linda Hamilton from Terminator 2 (hey, it's just a daydream! ) with one arm around my guy, and the other holding a big gun. This would be my way of telling someone, "You don't have to be so strong all the time. Every now and then, it's my turn to be on watch, too."
I often think of how intimidating--and lonely--it must be for young guys to leave the protection of their families' households... and then suddenly be expected to be strong enough to provide for and support not only themselves, but a spouse and children as well.
Gentlemen, the questions I'd like to ask you are in the poll. Remember, this poll is ANONYMOUS (no one will know that you answered) and multiple choice, so you can choose as many answers as you'd like. Again, some of the "choices" in the poll are actually the questions, so please look for the choices of answers below each question.
Everyone is also most welcome to post thoughts here if they would like to. For instance (and please just write general answers if it's more comfortable--I'm never asking anyone to bear their soul in a thread):
* How can we, as Christians, raise young men to feel protected enough to feel confident about protecting their own families someday?
* What can we ladies do to help make the guys feel as if they're not alone, and that it's ok to lean on others when they need to?
* Ladies, what things do you do, or would you do, to make your boyfriend/husband feel protected?
As I said, I know it's probably uncomfortable to talk about this subject regarding your own feelings or life. It might be easier to think of this in terms of a younger relative, such as, how would you want your younger sister, brother, niece, nephew, etc., to be raised in order to feel protected? And, to later grow up to be a protector themselves?
I'm looking forward to your answers! Please give me a few minutes to create the poll.
I know it's unrealistic to ask guys to publicly spill their thoughts about what makes them feel protected, so if you give me a few minutes, I'm going to create an anonymous, multiple choice poll.
The poll won't be perfect, but I'm trying to work with what the system allows. Please be aware that there will be some "choices" that are actually new questions, and options for the answers will be listed below the questions.
I have often thought about the fact that for many guys, the last time they may have ever felt someone was looking out for them was when they were living at home with their families. And in some cases, the most unsafe place in the world just might have been the home situation they were brought up in. But guys are human beings all the same, and, whether they feel they can admit it or not, I'm sure they all have times when they wish someone had their back, too.
A long time ago, when I was dating the guy I eventually married, he got a phone call one night while he was visiting me at my school. I knew something was wrong as soon as he answered, and when he got off the phone, he crumbled into one of those silent expressions of agony that speaks louder than words. I didn't know what else to do but fold my arms around him and wait until he could tell me what was going on.
I admit that I'm very much "like a guy" in times of crisis. My first reaction is to address the emotion; my second instinct is to kick into, "Let's Fix This" mode, and so I told him this was what we were going to do: we were going to pool our money together and find a way for him to go visit his family and get a few things straightened out.
I have more than my fair share of weaknesses but there are days when I dream of being strong. If I could create a movie poster for my idea of a relationship, one of the versions of the poster would be of me looking like Linda Hamilton from Terminator 2 (hey, it's just a daydream! ) with one arm around my guy, and the other holding a big gun. This would be my way of telling someone, "You don't have to be so strong all the time. Every now and then, it's my turn to be on watch, too."
I often think of how intimidating--and lonely--it must be for young guys to leave the protection of their families' households... and then suddenly be expected to be strong enough to provide for and support not only themselves, but a spouse and children as well.
Gentlemen, the questions I'd like to ask you are in the poll. Remember, this poll is ANONYMOUS (no one will know that you answered) and multiple choice, so you can choose as many answers as you'd like. Again, some of the "choices" in the poll are actually the questions, so please look for the choices of answers below each question.
Everyone is also most welcome to post thoughts here if they would like to. For instance (and please just write general answers if it's more comfortable--I'm never asking anyone to bear their soul in a thread):
* How can we, as Christians, raise young men to feel protected enough to feel confident about protecting their own families someday?
* What can we ladies do to help make the guys feel as if they're not alone, and that it's ok to lean on others when they need to?
* Ladies, what things do you do, or would you do, to make your boyfriend/husband feel protected?
As I said, I know it's probably uncomfortable to talk about this subject regarding your own feelings or life. It might be easier to think of this in terms of a younger relative, such as, how would you want your younger sister, brother, niece, nephew, etc., to be raised in order to feel protected? And, to later grow up to be a protector themselves?
I'm looking forward to your answers! Please give me a few minutes to create the poll.