Kissing (and other non-sexual forms of 'intimate' contact)

[AsifinPassing]

Hey Everyone!

So, as always, I've been doing some thinking...https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/79/4a/2d/794a2df4a92b836bffe337d1ee1454b8.jpg

...and among the streams of thought came the memories of things we consider 'special' between two people in a dating relationship. Among these, there seems to be a certain enchantment with kissing. People have described the experience and desire for kissing in music, movies, books, and all sorts of art forms throughout history. It's still highly focused on, dramatized, romanticized, etc today!

Here's the thing, though... For me, with the girls I've dated and kissed over the course of my life, there was no fireworks display, magic spell, rush of feelings, or heightened sense of pleasure. In fact, I even explained to one of those past girlfriends how, though I certainly liked kissing, it didn't mean anything more or different than hugging, holding hands, etc. To me, Kissing simply means touching lips in the same way holding hands means touching hands.


So, what's the point of telling you/posting this as a thread? Well...I'm glad you asked (if you asked). There are 3 points:

1. Is there anyone out there other than me like this? Is kissing just lips touching to you, too?

2. What does kissing mean to you, and why? For those of you who feel or experience something more, what is it?

3. For those (if any) who don't find kissing particularly meaningful, is there a different type of non-sexual, intimate contact that you do find special or more meaningful?


I'd really like to hear everyone's thoughts/experiences with this! Thank you for at least taking the time to read my thoughts if you don't reply. ^_^

 

[Addison]

Sure, kissing can be very nice, but have you ever tried garlic bread?

 

[GaryA]

The 'fireworks' come from "getting lost in the kiss" ( emotionally ) -- something that is easier for a woman, due to her emotional attachment to 'intimate touching'. And, the 'closeness' of kissing makes it more intimate than 'hand-holding', for example.

Men experience kissing from a more 'objective' point-of-view.

I believe the physiology may be a bit different for a woman.

Those are my thoughts on the subject.

I would think that -- a woman's perspective - compared to a man's perspective -- should give you a better answer...

 

[CatHerder]

...
1. Is there anyone out there other than me like this? Is kissing just lips touching to you, too?

2. What does kissing mean to you, and why? For those of you who feel or experience something more, what is it?

3. For those (if any) who don't find kissing particularly meaningful, is there a different type of non-sexual, intimate contact that you do find special or more meaningful?


I'd really like to hear everyone's thoughts/experiences with this! Thank you for at least taking the time to read my thoughts if you don't reply. ^_^

For me, kissing is about the context - I can kiss an old female friend or relative on the cheek or even lips and it means little more than a hug. In the context of a date, kissing is way different and can easily ignite things that are better left un-ignited. I think you and I are wired differently.

Sure, kissing can be very nice, but have you ever tried garlic bread? View attachment 151962

Haha - I love this response! Yes. My waistline shows that I have some not-so-healthy alternatives to...kissing.

The 'fireworks' come from "getting lost in the kiss" ( emotionally ) -- something that is easier for a woman, due to her emotional attachment to 'intimate touching'. And, the 'closeness' of kissing makes it more intimate than 'hand-holding', for example.

Men experience kissing from a more 'objective' point-of-view.

Is that your own opinion/experience or did you look that up somewhere?

I believe the physiology may be a bit different for a woman.

Possibly. I wonder what others will say as they chime in.
Those are my thoughts on the subject.

I would think that -- a woman's perspective - compared to a man's perspective -- should give you a better answer...

 

[blue_ladybug]

Kissing is non-sexual? Not when a guy or girl french kisses you, it isn't. jmo

 

[Mooky]

The 'fireworks' come from "getting lost in the kiss" ( emotionally ) -- something that is easier for a woman, due to her emotional attachment to 'intimate touching'. And, the 'closeness' of kissing makes it more intimate than 'hand-holding', for example.

Men experience kissing from a more 'objective' point-of-view.

I believe the physiology may be a bit different for a woman.

Those are my thoughts on the subject.

I would think that -- a woman's perspective - compared to a man's perspective -- should give you a better answer...

Hey,
Is this "GRA" ....who was on this site a few years ago? If so, it's really great to have you back!??????

 

[Mooky]

To the OP.....I would suggest listening to great music together....sometimes music can say what mere words can't- and because music is so emotional, it is a great way connect.Either that or killing zombies together.

 

[tourist]

I find that kissing is an intimate way to get to know each other. I don't believe that there is such a thing as a non-sexual form of intimate contact. If kissing is non-sexual then there would be no point to that particular form of expression.

 

[Hellooo]

For me, kissing is about the context - I can kiss an old female friend or relative on the cheek or even lips and it means little more than a hug. In the context of a date, kissing is way different and can easily ignite things that are better left un-ignited.

Yeah this.

In my experience, a lot of it is chemistry/attraction as well...with the right person, a kiss makes you weak in the knees, gives you butterflies in your stomach, and all that other feely stuff, and is not just 'lips touching'

 

[wwjd_kilden]

Hmm. Hard to say, but I disagree with those who say a kiss must be sexual. Even Paul told people to "greet each other with a holy kiss"

I've only kissed one guy (we were both curious, but it didn't turn into a proper relationship.)
At the time, it just felt weird (not the situation, but the kiss itself).

 

[BeyondET]

Hehehe well if I meet a woman one day,, kissing surely isn't going to happen on the first date.. It doesn't even have too be within a couple of months that would be fine too, but to wait till marriage to hold her hand and kiss her seems a little extreme lol...

 

[cinder]

Hey Everyone!

So, as always, I've been doing some thinking...https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/79/4a/2d/794a2df4a92b836bffe337d1ee1454b8.jpg

...and among the streams of thought came the memories of things we consider 'special' between two people in a dating relationship. Among these, there seems to be a certain enchantment with kissing. People have described the experience and desire for kissing in music, movies, books, and all sorts of art forms throughout history. It's still highly focused on, dramatized, romanticized, etc today!

Here's the thing, though... For me, with the girls I've dated and kissed over the course of my life, there was no fireworks display, magic spell, rush of feelings, or heightened sense of pleasure. In fact, I even explained to one of those past girlfriends how, though I certainly liked kissing, it didn't mean anything more or different than hugging, holding hands, etc. To me, Kissing simply means touching lips in the same way holding hands means touching hands.


So, what's the point of telling you/posting this as a thread? Well...I'm glad you asked (if you asked). There are 3 points:

1. Is there anyone out there other than me like this? Is kissing just lips touching to you, too?

2. What does kissing mean to you, and why? For those of you who feel or experience something more, what is it?

3. For those (if any) who don't find kissing particularly meaningful, is there a different type of non-sexual, intimate contact that you do find special or more meaningful?


I'd really like to hear everyone's thoughts/experiences with this! Thank you for at least taking the time to read my thoughts if you don't reply. ^_^

I think with kissing as with most anything relational, it depends on context. I studied abroad in Mexico during university and also had an Italian roommate for a few months during a different semester. In both of those cultures it was common to cheek kiss in greeting, and while it took a bit of getting used to and could catch me off guard, it wasn't something to make me wonder if someone was trying to be romantic.

I also seem to remember hearing a story about a guy who fell in love with a gal from an animistic culture where kissing wasn't part of their romantic expression and the first time he tried to kiss her she thought he was trying to steal her soul or something like that. I have no idea how true that story was.

So I think part of the whole Western kissing "obsession" is that it's something that in our culture has become a definite signal of romantic / sexual interest. It may release some fun brain chemicals and hormones and stuff too, but as to determining how much of that comes because of context and meaning and how much from the specific physical contact (and how that is different from other physical contact), I don't think accurate objective data exists.

And while my experience with kissing is extremely limited, my extensive experience of garlic bread means I can heartily recommend it as delicious and enjoyable. At least until it starts making you pack on the pounds and gives you breath that chases away all the vampires (and most other people too).

 

[BeyondET]

I think with kissing as with most anything relational, it depends on context. I studied abroad in Mexico during university and also had an Italian roommate for a few months during a different semester. In both of those cultures it was common to cheek kiss in greeting, and while it took a bit of getting used to and could catch me off guard, it wasn't something to make me wonder if someone was trying to be romantic.

I also seem to remember hearing a story about a guy who fell in love with a gal from an animistic culture where kissing wasn't part of their romantic expression and the first time he tried to kiss her she thought he was trying to steal her soul or something like that. I have no idea how true that story was.

So I think part of the whole Western kissing "obsession" is that it's something that in our culture has become a definite signal of romantic / sexual interest. It may release some fun brain chemicals and hormones and stuff too, but as to determining how much of that comes because of context and meaning and how much from the specific physical contact (and how that is different from other physical contact), I don't think accurate objective data exists.

And while my experience with kissing is extremely limited, my extensive experience of garlic bread means I can heartily recommend it as delicious and enjoyable. At least until it starts making you pack on the pounds and gives you breath that chases away all the vampires (and most other people too).

Thats a pretty good insight if I'm not mistaking long time ago sneezing had something to do with bad spirits or something because from want I learned about that's were the saying bless you came from when someone sneezes lol..

i agree the attraction plays a big part in it if two people are equally attracted it will become to a point were they cant stand it no more and got to kiss lol.. I know a couple who only knew each other for about a week got married and 35 years later still happily married seems there is no ryme or reason when it comes to two people being attracted to one another..

 

[GaryA]

For me, kissing is about the context - I can kiss an old female friend or relative on the cheek or even lips and it means little more than a hug.

I was not even thinking about this [ context ] when I wrote post #3, but I can certainly agree with it. I do not believe that a kiss is always 'sexual' -- any more than a hug is [ necessarily ] 'sexual'.

I was thinking only about a 'romantic' context - which Reece's post seemed to be framed around - when I wrote post #3. ( Which - yes - was based on my opinion / experience. )

 

[GaryA]

Kissing is non-sexual? Not when a guy or girl french kisses you, it isn't. jmo

"Weeeeeeeell . . . some forms / kinds / types of kissing can be safely assumed to be 'sexual' in nature..."

 

[GaryA]

Hey,
Is this "GRA" ....who was on this site a few years ago? If so, it's really great to have you back!������

one-and-the-same!

"Thank you, darlin' -- I really appreciate you saying that..."

 

[GaryA]

I find that kissing is an intimate way to get to know each other. I don't believe that there is such a thing as a non-sexual form of intimate contact. If kissing is non-sexual then there would be no point to that particular form of expression.

Let's define 'sexual' with regard to kissing:

~ 'sexual', in terms of male-and-female - 'physical' [ and possibly 'initimate' ] contact between a male and a female, but without any sexual 'interest' or 'intent'. ( 'friendship' )

~ 'sexual', in terms of sexual 'intent' - physical intimate contact between a male and a female, with definite sexual interest and intent. ( 'romantic' )

Are we all thinking of it in different terms such as these?

 

[Rosesrock]

Ok stick with me......

Kissing on the lips the opposite sex with intention of slowness ??
Now that we got that cleared up.....
For me? It's the most intimate action you can take part of with a partner.
But I agree with the context part....who what when
But I'm married so.....I'm not gonna lay one on another man as stated above.

 

[tourist]

Let's define 'sexual' with regard to kissing:

~ 'sexual', in terms of male-and-female - 'physical' [ and possibly 'initimate' ] contact between a male and a female, but without any sexual 'interest' or 'intent'. ( 'friendship' )

~ 'sexual', in terms of sexual 'intent' - physical intimate contact between a male and a female, with definite sexual interest and intent. ( 'romantic' )

Are we all thinking of it in different terms such as these?

I believe that I might be romantically inclined and my kissing is expressly meant for my wife.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Kissing is non-sexual? Not when a guy or girl french kisses you, it isn't. jmo

This is not a dating site!