Should Christians Who Are Struggling With Porn Be Considered Ineligible For Marriage?
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I have found not a one, that this kind of behavior did not effect. Yes some are stronger and can handle it better. For me there were 2 things I knew that would break me down. The lose of a child and the betrayal of a spouse. My Ex knew this. It took me to a very dark place. But God is good and used it to show me I could trust him. It has only been 2 years. for me and my children. As of now, no it would make no difference. That is why I have not dated. Even in the future, The answer is still no. ( Equally yoked ) There was only 1 thing I truly ever put before God, My family. Money, is not an issue, 2 hurricanes and addict parents, worldly items was never an issue for me. Things come and Go. and the Lord promise to take care of my needs. Lust is not an issue for me either. So again, no they would have to have a weakness that would not bring down the unit, if i was to date or marry them. I am not perfect. nor do I expect anyone else to be. But Lust and greed are to things that are not equally yoked to me. I had warning signs, before I married. not huge red flags, but the signs were there if I would have paid attention. I learn from my mistakes. Not being equally yoked, only brings misery and heart ache. If they want to change then they need to change before they involve someone else. I am not dating because me nor my children have not fully healed. I do not want to date someone, and he gets a call from a woman ( family, friend, co worker, ect.. ) and it makes me insecure. That would be selfish of me to put that on someone else. I need to have my life in order, before I involve someone else. We all have baggage after time, should we not deal with our unresolved baggage before you put it on a future partner???
C
Yes we should deal with our own baggage before putting it on someone else. That makes sense to me. I'm sorry that you went through such pain. . I realize that my situation was different from yours. How I got through it was with my belief in the Lord..And my love and compassion for my struggling husband..kept me from just walking away and giving up on him. I'm glad I stayed because now he is a dedicated Christian. Your story helped me see things in a different way. Thanks for sharing it.
Praise the Lord, that with your faithfulness and the Grace of God he was able to change his life. Not all are willing. My ex also admitted that his "Christianity" was all a mask. When I married him, I believed he was a God fearing man. Christianity has become a title to many use way to often. I believe that is why the Lord tells us to be on guard and watchful. And to be equally yoked. Marriage is a life long commitment. For God anyway. Sadly not for this world. I learned the lesson the hard way as sadly many do. and most of us had the warning signs, we just did not seek God first. We all fall short in someway or another. Do we learn from them is the key question. My heart rejoices that your story can bring Honor to God. And your husband saved.
G
Huh I stand corrected indeed thank you for that info I've never really give it much thought about thoughts and yes they do effect the brain chemistry I did a real quick search and yea the data is out there. My Lord this is something to ponder on no doubt 
What the word "No" does to your brain
The advancement in brain scanning devices has allowed us to see what happens inside the brain during the different activities humans perform.
An experiment was carried out to find out the impact of negative words on the human brain and here is what happened:
The brain scanning device, which allows researchers to know which part of the brain gets activated when the person gets exposed to a certain stimulus, was placed above the heads of the human test subjects.
Suddenly these humans were presented with the word "no" on a nearby screen and guess what happened?
The brain functions, which includes the electric signals passing through it, were disrupted for few moments.
For the first instance you might think that a temporary disruption wont cause major problems but when you get to know that depressionis usually the result of disruption in brain chemicals you will understand how severe these disruptions can be.
How negative thinking affect your brain,mood and body
The experiment was carried out using the word "no"!
Yes, those two letters caused all of the imbalance that happened in the brains of the subjects in the experiment, but what about the other negative words?
What about cursing? Swearing? or even worrying?
Those negative words and habits keep your brain's functions disrupted on the long term and can result in severe long term complications.
If you think negatively all of the time, if you read negative news all the time or if you worry often then you are at a severe risk of experiencing brain disruptions that can cause all kinds of unwanted emotions.
Negative thinking is not just a bad thing but its a destructive habit that can ruin your brain, body and overall health on the long term.
How to think positively?
Most people who try to become positive thinkers do it the wrong way and that's why they never succeed. Positive thinking is not magic and you can't just depend on positive thinking then wait for good things to happen but instead your positive thinking should stem from the actions you take.
Lets suppose that you were worried because you believed that you can't find a job, in such a case you might not be able to prevent yourself from worrying or thinking negatively.
Now what you need to do is to start immediately learning new skills that can help you become more qualified. In addition, you need to start sending your CV each day to few more companies.
After few days of doing these actions your mind will automatically be able to think positively since you now have a real plan to base your positive thinking upon.
What the word "No" does to your brain
The advancement in brain scanning devices has allowed us to see what happens inside the brain during the different activities humans perform.
An experiment was carried out to find out the impact of negative words on the human brain and here is what happened:
The brain scanning device, which allows researchers to know which part of the brain gets activated when the person gets exposed to a certain stimulus, was placed above the heads of the human test subjects.
Suddenly these humans were presented with the word "no" on a nearby screen and guess what happened?
The brain functions, which includes the electric signals passing through it, were disrupted for few moments.
For the first instance you might think that a temporary disruption wont cause major problems but when you get to know that depressionis usually the result of disruption in brain chemicals you will understand how severe these disruptions can be.
How negative thinking affect your brain,mood and body
The experiment was carried out using the word "no"!
Yes, those two letters caused all of the imbalance that happened in the brains of the subjects in the experiment, but what about the other negative words?
What about cursing? Swearing? or even worrying?
Those negative words and habits keep your brain's functions disrupted on the long term and can result in severe long term complications.
If you think negatively all of the time, if you read negative news all the time or if you worry often then you are at a severe risk of experiencing brain disruptions that can cause all kinds of unwanted emotions.
Negative thinking is not just a bad thing but its a destructive habit that can ruin your brain, body and overall health on the long term.
How to think positively?
Most people who try to become positive thinkers do it the wrong way and that's why they never succeed. Positive thinking is not magic and you can't just depend on positive thinking then wait for good things to happen but instead your positive thinking should stem from the actions you take.
Lets suppose that you were worried because you believed that you can't find a job, in such a case you might not be able to prevent yourself from worrying or thinking negatively.
Now what you need to do is to start immediately learning new skills that can help you become more qualified. In addition, you need to start sending your CV each day to few more companies.
After few days of doing these actions your mind will automatically be able to think positively since you now have a real plan to base your positive thinking upon.
~ kept me from physical injury
~ kept me from emotional distress
~ kept me sober, awake, and aware
~ kept me out of trouble / jail / etc.
~ kept me away from drugs and other "bad habits"
~ kept me away from people who would only bring detriment to me
"Well --- there may be some who consider me to be 'brain-damaged' because I have heard the word 'no' all-of-my-life -- but I promise you this -- there is a LOT of pain-and-misery that I have NOT had to go through in my life because of it!"
"Thank you Lord God Almighty for that little word 'no' - and parents who loved me enough to say it to me so many times..."
The pattern that my parents set for me at a young age continued to echo within me long after...
Oh - one other thing -- the word "no" ( said to self, after the pattern ) - has kept me away from pornography - time-after-time-after-time...
Depending on how you want to look at it --- the word "no" is not always a 'negative' word.
I
You should definitely let God deliver you FIRST before you even consider dating and getting married. If not the addiction will destroy your marriage because it will make you have UNREALISTIC expectations of your mate. And it's just selfish and unfair to make your mate share you with your fleshly desires!
