Why do men suddenly disappear?

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AuntieAnt

Guest
#221
#221
Kirk said:
Men suddenly disappear because women are crazy!
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I'm sorry.... this made me crack up! ROFL!!

George Carlin said, "Men are stupid & women are crazy, and the reason women are crazy is because men are stupid." LOL!!

Of course, that's a joke & not at all the truth. ;) The reason people don't communicate their true feelings & they choose to run away is out of fear & ignorance. Something scared them & they're not willing and/or able to talk about it. I think a lot of times people perceive something that overwhelms them in one way or the other and disappearing seems the easiest route for them to deal with it.

Internet relationships are particularly difficult to maintain because you can't really know someone unless you spend quality time with them in real life situations & meet their friends & family as well. And there are the endless horror stories of fatal attractions & stalkers & catfish & con artists & sociopaths that you really can't put your trust in internet correspondence only.

If someone disappeared on me, I would take it as a blessing from God that it was for the best. :eek:
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#222
Aug 12, 2011
10,451
2,678
113
#222
men disappear cuz i don't share pizza.

lol jk :eek:
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#225
#225
Tinkerbell725 said:
Guys why do you do that? Walk away all of a sudden when things are going smoothly? Ladies how do you deal with such cowards who do the disappearing act?
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Well you have twelve pages of advice. You probably have your answer. In my experience,men disappear because they realize they aren't mature enough to handle a lasting relationship. Playing around is one thing. But when it comes to diamond rings, houses and perhaps children they exit stage right. Let them go,not worth the hassle or the heartache.

I dated a guy briefly who swore up and down he loved me.After several months he started talking about marriage. He was just soooo in love. Then suddenly he told me on a scale of one to ten I was a four as a girlfriend. Out of nowhere,nothing had changed. He didn't even have the guts to break up with me,his brother told me. Looking back what did I learn? This guy fell in love with pretty much every woman he saw. He got in relationships fast,and exited them fast. He wasn't serious about being in a relationship,he just liked the feelings of puppy love. When that ran out and he had to take part in the relationship,exit stage right. When a guy or a girl leaves for no reason its because they're not mature enough to have an adult , real relationship. Never run after a man that leaves,he's actually doing you a huge favor.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#226
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#226
kaylagrl said:
Well you have twelve pages of advice. You probably have your answer. In my experience,men disappear because they realize they aren't mature enough to handle a lasting relationship. Playing around is one thing. But when it comes to diamond rings, houses and perhaps children they exit stage right. Let them go,not worth the hassle or the heartache.

I dated a guy briefly who swore up and down he loved me.After several months he started talking about marriage. He was just soooo in love. Then suddenly he told me on a scale of one to ten I was a four as a girlfriend. Out of nowhere,nothing had changed. He didn't even have the guts to break up with me,his brother told me. Looking back what did I learn? This guy fell in love with pretty much every woman he saw. He got in relationships fast,and exited them fast. He wasn't serious about being in a relationship,he just liked the feelings of puppy love. When that ran out and he had to take part in the relationship,exit stage right. When a guy or a girl leaves for no reason its because they're not mature enough to have an adult , real relationship. Never run after a man that leaves,he's actually doing you a huge favor.
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Every relationship is unique. Only God knows people's hearts. There are those who disappear with acceptable reasons but there are those who just love to play with other people's emotions. I really can't judge because I am also guilty. I disappeared because I felt manipulated.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#227
#227
Tinkerbell725 said:
Every relationship is unique. Only God knows people's hearts. There are those who disappear with acceptable reasons but there are those who just love to play with other people's emotions. I really can't judge because I am also guilty. I disappeared because I felt manipulated.
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Yes, there are different reasons for walking away but if you are mature I think you should be honest with the person. There is no reason to just disappear. That to me is hurtful and leaves the person wondering what happened. I had a guy years ago that I thought a lot of,like a brother. He was funny and sweet. We were good friends. Then he made a move and made a rather awkward pass at me in front of his guy pals. Completely turned me off but I wasn't interested in the first place. Once his friends left I explained that I was not interested in anything but friendship. I made that very clear. It took him some time to accept that but I was never anything but truthful with him. I lost track of him over the years,I hope he has found happiness but I think you should always be truthful in a relationship.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#228
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#228
kaylagrl said:
Yes, there are different reasons for walking away but if you are mature I think you should be honest with the person. There is no reason to just disappear. That to me is hurtful and leaves the person wondering what happened. I had a guy years ago that I thought a lot of,like a brother. He was funny and sweet. We were good friends. Then he made a move and made a rather awkward pass at me in front of his guy pals. Completely turned me off but I wasn't interested in the first place. Once his friends left I explained that I was not interested in anything but friendship. I made that very clear. It took him some time to accept that but I was never anything but truthful with him. I lost track of him over the years,I hope he has found happiness but I think you should always be truthful in a relationship.
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I know it was immature but I was just protecting myself from further manipulation. There are toxic relationships when you have to run for your life without looking back. You even had one. Did you still feel you had to talk to that guy after you found out he manipulated you? I don't think so. You need to heal first before you can talk to that kind of person.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#232
#232
Tinkerbell725 said:
I know it was immature but I was just protecting myself from further manipulation. There are toxic relationships when you have to run for your life without looking back. You even had one. Did you still feel you had to talk to that guy after you found out he manipulated you? I don't think so. You need to heal first before you can talk to that kind of person.
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Actually I did talk to him not long after. I believe he's married now. But he was dating someone the last time I spoke to him. I simply said "do me a favor, treat this woman with some respect,if you can't to that tell her so and leave her alone." I assume he took my advice and married her. I thought the topic was "why do men disappear". If someones life is in danger due to abuse then common sense says leave without looking back. Otherwise,tell the person the truth.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#233
#233
*deleted post*

Oops! Posted in wrong thread.

ROFL!!! ;)
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#235
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#235
kaylagrl said:
Actually I did talk to him not long after. I believe he's married now. But he was dating someone the last time I spoke to him. I simply said "do me a favor, treat this woman with some respect,if you can't to that tell her so and leave her alone." I assume he took my advice and married her. I thought the topic was "why do men disappear". If someones life is in danger due to abuse then common sense says leave without looking back. Otherwise,tell the person the truth.
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Yes its an old topic and I learned from all the posts here that people suddenly disappear not just men. Feelings are fragile and its not easy to process. Its easy to say but hard to walk the talk. Maybe someday we can find the strength to say or do what we are supposed to do. Good for you, you had the chance to do it.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#236
#236
Tinkerbell725 said:
Yes its an old topic and I learned from all the posts here that people suddenly disappear not just men. Feelings are fragile and its not easy to process. Its easy to say but hard to walk the talk. Maybe someday we can find the strength to say or do what we are supposed to do. Good for you, you had the chance to do it.
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My guess is we probably get our cues from our parents on how we deal with relationships of what to do and not do. I mean if our parents have a good relationship do you think its easier for us to have a good relationship? hummm maybe thats another subject.lol
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#237
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#237
kaylagrl said:
My guess is we probably get our cues from our parents on how we deal with relationships of what to do and not do. I mean if our parents have a good relationship do you think its easier for us to have a good relationship? hummm maybe thats another subject.lol
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Yeah that's a good one for another thread. I believe history repeats itself. If we are not healed same pattern happens. If we dont learn from mistakes, we will make the same mistakes again.
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#238
#238
kaylagrl said:
Actually I did talk to him not long after. I believe he's married now. But he was dating someone the last time I spoke to him. I simply said "do me a favor, treat this woman with some respect,if you can't to that tell her so and leave her alone." I assume he took my advice and married her. I thought the topic was "why do men disappear". If someones life is in danger due to abuse then common sense says leave without looking back. Otherwise,tell the person the truth.
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Good job. I'm a huge closure person so each relationship I had .....ended with some kind of closure for me. This didnt mean a civil convo. Just meant I got the last word some how. Lol.
Mature? Prolly not but worked for me.
Fast forward years later.......I realized that just because they leave doesn't mean it's me.
Most of the time it's always them.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#239
#239
Rosesrock said:
Good job. I'm a huge closure person so each relationship I had .....ended with some kind of closure for me. This didnt mean a civil convo. Just meant I got the last word some how. Lol.
Mature? Prolly not but worked for me.
Fast forward years later.......I realized that just because they leave doesn't mean it's me.
Most of the time it's always them.
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Closure,if you can get it,really is best. I'm just really glad that I picked a totally different man to marry. I was afraid my picker was bad. My husband is 100% different than the guy I dated. He was an immature player, my husband is a true man. He was always straight forward with me,always told me the truth. Total opposite.
 
Faith-n-Christ

Faith-n-Christ

Senior Member
#240
May 12, 2016
443
365
63
#240
Wow, now I see why no relationship lasts. I could not get why my ex would destroy his own family for a 6 month fling to another married woman. I was a born again Christian, and so was he, he claimed. I did not however have Jesus as the cornerstone or foundation. I had my own faults in the marriage. I was very bitter to what he did for over 2 yrs. The Lord lead me to a new place, and the healing began. When I first joined this site I was lonely. IE my first thread. Then I was in a car wreck and been at home for a bit now. I have spent alot of time with the Lord and developing a relationship with him. Once in awhile I still desire the companionship of another. But most of the time I am content with spending time with my Lord and my children.

I see so much hurt and pain in people today. broken families, broken hearts, broken spirits. Even my ex, had a bad childhood and he let that define him. I too came from a bad childhood, but it sent me the opposite direction. All men are not bad and all women are not bad, and majority, have a heart breaking story that has allowed them to hold onto bitterness and pain, and lack of trust. The Lord has been kind enough to show me, and open my eyes to that that is around us. The hurt and broken. All of us at one point or another in our lives have been hurt. Do we hold onto that hurt or allow the Lord to heal us and learn from our own choices. There where warning signs before marrying my ex. I was lonely and did not see them. Looking back I do now. I made a choice, and I learned from that choice. I am far from perfect, and just learning this relationship with the Lord, and having a compassionate heart. I was one of the coldest fortified hearts you would have ever met, 2 yrs ago. I trusted no one, and I did not care to hear your story of excuses. The Lord put me to work in an ER after not working for 16 yrs, and taught me self control, and warmed my heart again. I walked away from a wreck that totaled my car with frame damage, a head on. The woman was going 60+ and flew through a light. Only my knee was injured. In allowing this, the Lord gave me time at home with him. Sure I could have been bitter. Not working, no car, insurance taking forever. Instead I allowed the Lord to work. My life will never be the same.

We all have stories, we all have been hurt, and we all have fallen short ourselves. We have a loving Father and Lord who can and will, if we allow, to jumpstart our walled and bitter and hurting and confused hearts. Sorry this is so long, but left it was a good place to share the Lord's unyielding love.
 
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