What I learned on a Christian dating site

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Q

Quirkygirl

Guest
#1
#1
So here is what I learned from the dating sites...

1) not all the guys on there are perverts- I met some genuinely nice guys

2) It's pretty safe if you are smart about it- Yes a lot of guys ask for sex but what is good is that they are open about it. They say, "hey you want to have sex?" I politely decline and we go our separate ways. There has only been maybe one guy who tried to manipulate me but I saw through it and blocked him.

3) not all guys on dating apps are looking for sex- on the apps they have an option to show what you are looking for. I set mine to say I was looking for friendship. Many guys will also ask, "What are you looking for on here?" so I tell them "friendship" If they are looking for something different they tell me and we go our separate ways. Many guys are looking for the same thing as me.

4) God is working through the dating app!!!! I met a guy in person who was a recovering alcoholic and he was getting back to Christianity. He was the sweetest nicest guy you could ever imagine! I invited him to my church and my campus ministry. He accepted! I don't know where it will go or if we stay friends but I hope I can help him in any way I can. I also am finding myself praying for many of the guys I meet.

5) here are some of my criteria for meeting guys
  • it must be daytime when we meet
  • it must be close to where I live
  • Before I leave I ask them to send me a short video of themselves so I know they are really them
  • we must stay close to my car
  • we must stay in the public eye

6) here is my criteria for choosing which guys pictures to like
  • Personal preferences
    • side swept bangs or really nice hair
    • clean shaved (some guys I like are not clean shaved but it all depends)
  • safety
    • no money in the picture
    • no rude hand gestures
    • no one who looks older than 30
    • no one who looks younger than 22
    • no one with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths or in their hands
    • no one with a scary front pic
    • I must be able to see their face

7) Chatting rules
  • If they are rude I block them
  • If they are inappropriate I block them
  • if they try to manipulate me I block them
  • NO EXCEPTIONS

So what are your thoughts?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
What's the point of this?
 
Q

Quirkygirl

Guest
#3
#3
God is not limited!!! He can even work through dating apps!! :-D
 
S

sassylady

Guest
#4
#4
You are so young and naïve. No offence intended. If somebody is a recovering alcoholic I would give him a LOT of time before you ever get serious. You say he was "getting back" to Christianity. Has he given his life to the Lord or not? It can't be a good intention, he has to do one or the other. There is a lot to watch for there, you need to see long term life changes. Commitment can bring out things that weren't there before. Just be very careful and don't believe everything you see/hear until you see it's true over a length of time.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#5
Feb 21, 2014
70,908
9,651
113
#5
He works through dating apps by sending you guys who's first question to you is "hey wanna have sex"? :confused:
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#7
#7
7) Chatting rules

  • If they are rude I block them
  • If they are inappropriate I block them
  • if they try to manipulate me I block them
  • NO EXCEPTIONS


So what are your thoughts?
Click to expand...

numm....:confused:

I'm thinking you can practice here :rolleyes:

4) God is working through the dating app!!!! I met a guy in person who was a recovering alcoholic and he was getting back to Christianity. He was the sweetest nicest guy you could ever imagine! I invited him to my church and my campus ministry. He accepted! I don't know where it will go or if we stay friends but I hope I can help him in any way I can. I also am finding myself praying for many of the guys I meet.

5) here are some of my criteria for meeting guys

  • it must be daytime when we meet
  • it must be close to where I live
  • Before I leave I ask them to send me a short video of themselves so I know they are really them
  • we must stay close to my car
  • we must stay in the public eye
Click to expand...

sounds like the app is working

please don't blame God

those are my thoughts since you asked
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#8
#8
I think it's fantastic to see someone so positive and sensible post here, Quirkygirl :) It's encouraging to see someone taking action in their own life to move it the direction they'd like it to go, as well as seeing opportunities to share Jesus where most people wouldn't bother. I think the precautions and boundaries you set are smart and reasonable, and I wish you the best with it. Thanks for sharing this :)
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#9
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#9
My Cousin met his wife on Christian match. The first time they met they went to her church together and started out as friends. There are nice genuine people on those sights, just take your time.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#10
Aug 13, 2014
26,739
8,974
113
#10
Nobody who looks older than 30? Awwww that leaves me out. People used to lowball my age, but ever since my hair started turning grey they always guess my age is higher than it really is.


Glad Christian dating sites are working for you though. I have never tried them and I never will, but I am glad it works for you.
 
U

Ultimatum77

Guest
#11
#11
If they are asking you for sex on a "Christian site" or (CR)app they aren't really Christian plain and simple....sex is for marriage not for fornication.

You should be wary of an alcoholic....they tend to get cover up their problem and then wham they change once they take a swig from the bottle. Some are abusers and will beat you up once they are drunk.

You should take some advice from the older ladies and be very cautious and maybe pump the brakes on your eagerness for a relationship.

I know it's hard at that age but just remember it only takes one mistake to ruin your life for a lifetime....protect yourself in all areas emotionally, spiritually, and physically. :)
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#12
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#12
Quirkygirl said:
5) here are some of my criteria for meeting guys
  • it must be daytime when we meet
  • it must be close to where I live
  • Before I leave I ask them to send me a short video of themselves so I know they are really them
  • we must stay close to my car
  • we must stay in the public eye

6) here is my criteria for choosing which guys pictures to like
  • Personal preferences
    • side swept bangs or really nice hair
    • clean shaved (some guys I like are not clean shaved but it all depends)
  • safety
    • no money in the picture
    • no rude hand gestures
    • no one who looks older than 30
    • no one who looks younger than 22
    • no one with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths or in their hands
    • no one with a scary front pic
    • I must be able to see their face

7) Chatting rules
  • If they are rude I block them
  • If they are inappropriate I block them
  • if they try to manipulate me I block them
  • NO EXCEPTIONS

So what are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
Fussy fussy :). If a guy had all those restrictions, we'd never meet anyone. Here's my criteria;

* Must have a pulse
* Must be single
 
S

SparkleEyes

Senior Member
#13
Mar 23, 2013
771
21
18
#13
sassylady said:
You are so young and naïve. No offence intended. If somebody is a recovering alcoholic I would give him a LOT of time before you ever get serious. You say he was "getting back" to Christianity. Has he given his life to the Lord or not? It can't be a good intention, he has to do one or the other. There is a lot to watch for there, you need to see long term life changes. Commitment can bring out things that weren't there before. Just be very careful and don't believe everything you see/hear until you see it's true over a length of time.
Click to expand...
WOW - kind of harsh. The OP didn;t say she was dating a recovering alcoholic just friending him and showed him the way to a church. I wish EVERYONE would do this more often or even once.

I think this young gal has a decent list of criteria of things to consider when meeting a male. She will learn more about being discerning as time goes by.

Why don't we all just pray for those who are open to finding a Godly person to marry. :cool:
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#14
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#14
Dan58 said:
Fussy fussy :). If a guy had all those restrictions, we'd never meet anyone. Here's my criteria;

* Must have a pulse
* Must be single
Click to expand...
Wow you're picky! ;)
 
S

SparkleEyes

Senior Member
#15
Mar 23, 2013
771
21
18
#15
What I learned on Christian Mingle.

Most people are WAY to picky. If he/she doesn't look a certain way, they're out; if they liked dogs, they were out; if they didn't have a certain kind of job, they were out...

Not all on Christian dating sites are actually Christians. There is really no way to keep nominals or those who are not even church goers off of the site.

Many people are not ready to date. They are just off of a divorce and/or they are emotionally unhealthy. Get thee to a Christian counselor...or at least a counselor.

Many people have hangups about and must haves about dating: Money as in 'go dutch until you know she/he is not a gold digger.' (translation: has baggage from their marriage that they haven't gotten over)

There are more women on these sites than men.

1 date and done. They make a judgement call based on 1 or 2 times together. 'She's too... he's...'

Some spend way too much time emailing or messaging. Go out for a cup of coffee to a public place. EASY PEASY.

Just my thoughts. :cool:
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#17
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#17
Quirkygirl said:
So here is what I learned from the dating sites...

1) not all the guys on there are perverts- I met some genuinely nice guys

2) It's pretty safe if you are smart about it- Yes a lot of guys ask for sex but what is good is that they are open about it. They say, "hey you want to have sex?" I politely decline and we go our separate ways. There has only been maybe one guy who tried to manipulate me but I saw through it and blocked him.

3) not all guys on dating apps are looking for sex- on the apps they have an option to show what you are looking for. I set mine to say I was looking for friendship. Many guys will also ask, "What are you looking for on here?" so I tell them "friendship" If they are looking for something different they tell me and we go our separate ways. Many guys are looking for the same thing as me.

4) God is working through the dating app!!!! I met a guy in person who was a recovering alcoholic and he was getting back to Christianity. He was the sweetest nicest guy you could ever imagine! I invited him to my church and my campus ministry. He accepted! I don't know where it will go or if we stay friends but I hope I can help him in any way I can. I also am finding myself praying for many of the guys I meet.

5) here are some of my criteria for meeting guys
  • it must be daytime when we meet
  • it must be close to where I live
  • Before I leave I ask them to send me a short video of themselves so I know they are really them
  • we must stay close to my car
  • we must stay in the public eye

6) here is my criteria for choosing which guys pictures to like
  • Personal preferences
    • side swept bangs or really nice hair
    • clean shaved (some guys I like are not clean shaved but it all depends)
  • safety
    • no money in the picture
    • no rude hand gestures
    • no one who looks older than 30
    • no one who looks younger than 22
    • no one with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths or in their hands
    • no one with a scary front pic
    • I must be able to see their face

7) Chatting rules
  • If they are rude I block them
  • If they are inappropriate I block them
  • if they try to manipulate me I block them
  • NO EXCEPTIONS

So what are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
You said previously you weren't looking for a relationship, yet everything here is contradictory.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#18
Mar 13, 2014
42,422
16,910
113
69
Tennessee
#18
Sounds reasonable to me. I wish you well in your search. You should pray on this also. Happy hunting.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#19
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#19
SparkleEyes said:
WOW - kind of harsh. The OP didn;t say she was dating a recovering alcoholic just friending him and showed him the way to a church. I wish EVERYONE would do this more often or even once.

I think this young gal has a decent list of criteria of things to consider when meeting a male. She will learn more about being discerning as time goes by.

Why don't we all just pray for those who are open to finding a Godly person to marry. :cool:
Click to expand...
She also followed it by saying, I don't know if we're just friends or if it is going to turn something more." She's a codependent. Codependents and addicts do not mix well.
 
S

sassylady

Guest
#20
#20
SparkleEyes said:
WOW - kind of harsh. The OP didn;t say she was dating a recovering alcoholic just friending him and showed him the way to a church. I wish EVERYONE would do this more often or even once.

I think this young gal has a decent list of criteria of things to consider when meeting a male. She will learn more about being discerning as time goes by.

Why don't we all just pray for those who are open to finding a Godly person to marry. :cool:
Click to expand...
I've dated ones that have started out one way and ended up being somebody different, hate to see somebody so young get caught in that kind of trap. And being friends with a member of the opposite sex isn't always taken as "friendship" by some.
 
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