Sleeping together?

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oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
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Are you deaf? We WERE very secular. Not all of us popped out of the womb baptized and wearing a choir robe like you might have.
You are correct. We were all born under the curse. We were all born in need of a Saviour. This is the message we need to be proclaiming. I knew long before the time that I entered high school that I could no longer hide behind this "below the age of accountability" lingo. I spent much time at night trying to think up excuses I might give God if I were to die before I awoke.

I am ashamed that I lived in rebellion as long as I did.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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Perhaps God used that idea of a unicorn to protect you. God used the imaginary unicorn with you just as He used the talking donkey with the Prophet? God works in mysterious ways.

I know what you mean by stolen innocence, but on a deeper level, in a somewhat different sense, none of us has had any innocence to steal since the fall. We all need cleansing.

When someone is raped or sexually abused yeah they lose innocence. Until I was abused as a kid I didn't think anyone would do something like that, I was innocent and that messed me up.

Your comparing apples to oranges here. When someone violates you it sucks a lot of the good away. I don't mean you automatically become bad, but there's a wall built up and trust isn't so easy to come by anymore.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,950
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Germany
Killing this self-righteous crap is a very big thing with me. I am so sick of young people being subjected to pie-in-the-sky holiness rhetoric that some people try to feed them. What is wrong with an adult who thinks they are helping anyone, let alone kids, by making out that theirs never stinks, and that they are so holy they poot gold dust.

Kids screw up. Kids doubt. Kids have insecurities. Heavens, kids even touch one another. We have no business trying to shame them into thinking they are awful for experiencing the same things most normal humans have experienced since time began.

If a kid sees Willie was a hound dog when he was younger.... BUT he got his butt back on God's wavelength, maybe he is going to think that he has a real chance of doing it too.

Rant over.
Yep.. Im a 100% sure everyone here was young b4 and messed up. All that people are doing with theyre ''I was perfect and your dirty'' attitude is harden the hearts of us and make us angry...And in the end many start despising christians. Lets be real. Its not like you give someone a kiss and BADA BING BADA BOOM the girl sneezes a baby out.
I wish more people in here in general were a bit more open and realistic. Its not anyones Job to judge. Its to guide and give peeps strenght to overcome and get on the right track. I am sure that there would be way less issues with teens and kids going behind the back of their parents if they had a good trusting base. This dogmaticness is making more damage than good.
Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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You are correct. We were all born under the curse. We were all born in need of a Saviour. This is the message we need to be proclaiming. I knew long before the time that I entered high school that I could no longer hide behind this "below the age of accountability" lingo. I spent much time at night trying to think up excuses I might give God if I were to die before I awoke.

I am ashamed that I lived in rebellion as long as I did.
And I am ashamed that I just now got so angry. Please forgive me you guys. But I am feeling so damned frustrated right this minute that I want to scream at the screen.

God has been hard on me for a week to "Feed His lambs", and I don't know how except to maybe show my life as a crappy example not to follow.


And, that's all I can handle right now. The tears are just about to ruin this new keyboard.

Goodbye.
 
P

prodigal

Guest
And I am ashamed that I just now got so angry. Please forgive me you guys. But I am feeling so damned frustrated right this minute that I want to scream at the screen.

God has been hard on me for a week to "Feed His lambs", and I don't know how except to maybe show my life as a crappy example not to follow.


And, that's all I can handle right now. The tears are just about to ruin this new keyboard.

Goodbye.
I for 1 appreciate you here bro and i'm sure many others do to
 
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Miri

Guest
When someone is raped or sexually abused yeah they lose innocence. Until I was abused as a kid I didn't think anyone would do something like that, I was innocent and that messed me up.

Your comparing apples to oranges here. When someone violates you it sucks a lot of the good away. I don't mean you automatically become bad, but there's a wall built up and trust isn't so easy to come by anymore.
Im so sorry that happened to you.
I really dont think that would have been the same as voluntarily sleeping with
another person. Whether you realised it or not you were still innocent and pure.
I know you might not have felt like that but you did nothing wrong and were
innocent in all of this that happened to you.
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
No one is judging you Willie, I guess some of us were just a little surprised at your candour. We are all perfect examples of what not to do. Romans 3:10
 
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Miri

Guest
I don't know why, but this thread is kind of funny to me. I am such a prude compared to most people. LOL.

Maybe it's just because I am tired and being driven like a mule today. Seems like today is "honey do" day on top of "wipe my butt and make me sammiches" day like normal.
Wow sounds exactly like my day but put an 81 year old into the picture and the wipe
my butt part is a reality!
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
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And I am ashamed that I just now got so angry. Please forgive me you guys. But I am feeling so damned frustrated right this minute that I want to scream at the screen.

God has been hard on me for a week to "Feed His lambs", and I don't know how except to maybe show my life as a crappy example not to follow.


And, that's all I can handle right now. The tears are just about to ruin this new keyboard.

Goodbye.
The ground is level at the foot of the cross. Lets all look ahead and not back.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
No longer content to teach kids about the mechanics of sex they now have to go into every tiny detail and the kids are now being taught this stuff way too young. As Miri says, kids need to be taught the consequences of their actions and basic moral codes and why they are in place. Of course in an ideal world they would also be taught the biblical stance but....well it's not going to happen is it.

On a different note one thing that should be taught in schools is money management because kids leave school without a clue on how to manage their money and pretty soon get themselves into debt.
Mom's consequence speech was easy to memorize. "If you ever get pregnant, don't expect us to raise our grandchild. You're on your own."

It worked.

The how to handle money speech never came. My first realization I didn't know how to do it was a phone call to Dad asking how to write a check with my checking account. That first check? Down payment to my first apartment. I never knew how to write a check -- just knew, if I signed it, a day later one of my parents would give me the cash amount of that birthday check.

Somebody did tell me housing ought to cost a quarter of my monthly pay check, but I'm not sure where I picked that up. It scared me to give out that much money though.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
I sort of agree with you and sort of don't.
peer pressure, from what I've experienced, isnt what creates sexual temptation so much as the whole dating cycle.
The pressure to constantly be with someone when combined with inexperience, stupidity, and just plain human nature is fairly dangerous.
I've got no experience with that. I was always "the new girl" in high school, so just finding friends took up half the year. Guys? Only if they were friends of friends, then we became friends. I was more like a sister than a romantic thought. One boyfriend in high school, and it was usually a long-distance relationship. (I kept moving during the summer.) That, and he became my boyfriend after I was saved, so I was more excited about God than him.
 
Jan 24, 2009
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When someone is raped or sexually abused yeah they lose innocence. Until I was abused as a kid I didn't think anyone would do something like that, I was innocent and that messed me up.

Your comparing apples to oranges here. When someone violates you it sucks a lot of the good away. I don't mean you automatically become bad, but there's a wall built up and trust isn't so easy to come by anymore.
When someone is raped or sexually abused yeah they lose innocence. Virgins who intentionally decide to have sex will sometimes say that they "lost their virginity". When they intentionally have sex, they are giving up their virginity. When we decide to do something, we're giving into pressure or our own desire...we're giving up or giving in.

When people are raped/abused, they are forced into an action. It's not their will. They are being violated. In their case, they are losing their virginity. They're virginity is stolen from them!

I've never been married. Not been sexually active. I've been adamant about my bride reciprocating. If, however, she's been violated, I won't hold it against her. There is a big difference between one caving to sexual temptation and one being forced into it. In the latter situation, a person can still have sex on his/her own free will for the first time. That opportunity to share the gift with a significant other willfully is still there. :)



p.s. - I'm currently dating a woman who can reciprocate.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
Wow sounds exactly like my day but put an 81 year old into the picture and the wipe
my butt part is a reality!
He's taking care of his dad, so he meant it literally too. (And I am so glad John was past that before coming home, because there isn't enough room to puke in next to... well, nevermind.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
When someone is raped or sexually abused yeah they lose innocence. Virgins who intentionally decide to have sex will sometimes say that they "lost their virginity". When they intentionally have sex, they are giving up their virginity. When we decide to do something, we're giving into pressure or our own desire...we're giving up or giving in.

When people are raped/abused, they are forced into an action. It's not their will. They are being violated. In their case, they are losing their virginity. They're virginity is stolen from them!

I've never been married. Not been sexually active. I've been adamant about my bride reciprocating. If, however, she's been violated, I won't hold it against her. There is a big difference between one caving to sexual temptation and one being forced into it. In the latter situation, a person can still have sex on his/her own free will for the first time. That opportunity to share the gift with a significant other willfully is still there. :)



p.s. - I'm currently dating a woman who can reciprocate.
It took me quite some time to get to this because some freaking pastor told me I did break the adultery commandment when I was raped. But two clues--

I didn't have my virginity stolen from me. I had men steal an important part of me when they shoved ____ in my ____! BIG difference.

And, decent of you not to hold it against her, since there's nothing to hold! Try that ditty on someone you hope will be your future bride, and she so won't be your future bride. Good luck finding that perfect woman, because quite frankly she doesn't exist. If you can't accept that, then she shouldn't accept you, warts and all.

By the time people get into their late 30's to 40's, there usually aren't any sins missed. So you arbitrarily pick one that you don't do? Fine. Try bank robbing.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
Im so sorry that happened to you.
I really dont think that would have been the same as voluntarily sleeping with
another person. Whether you realised it or not you were still innocent and pure.
I know you might not have felt like that but you did nothing wrong and were
innocent in all of this that happened to you.

I know Miri thank you for your kind words. It happened so long ago and I have forgiven the man. He died some time ago. But it didn't hold me back. I knew what he meant by the fall and no is innocent. But there is a real innocence in children and when something like that happens you see a change.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
When someone is raped or sexually abused yeah they lose innocence. Virgins who intentionally decide to have sex will sometimes say that they "lost their virginity". When they intentionally have sex, they are giving up their virginity. When we decide to do something, we're giving into pressure or our own desire...we're giving up or giving in.

When people are raped/abused, they are forced into an action. It's not their will. They are being violated. In their case, they are losing their virginity. They're virginity is stolen from them!

I've never been married. Not been sexually active. I've been adamant about my bride reciprocating. If, however, she's been violated, I won't hold it against her. There is a big difference between one caving to sexual temptation and one being forced into it. In the latter situation, a person can still have sex on his/her own free will for the first time. That opportunity to share the gift with a significant other willfully is still there. :)



p.s. - I'm currently dating a woman who can reciprocate.
Yes I know people are forced into it. I was responding to Oysters comment.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
Willie We all get angry sometimes. I don't think anyone here will hold it against you. You have a way of helping people on here that is very relatable. I feel that God brought you here to help people and you're doing that. I'm always relived when I know someone else isn't afraid to say, hey I came to Jesus a hot mess and he loves me anyhow. I'm sure you've helped many people realize they're good enough and change is possible and life is so much better walking with Jesus. God bless you and your wife.
 
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Sillychick723

Guest
Is the idea of abstaining till marriage just a foolish, antiquated notion anymore?


Not to me it isn't. There's many reasons why God instructs us to wait until marriage. Now-a-days most Christians kinda gloss over that part of the bible simply because it doesn't suit them or they don't realize the negative implications involved with directly disobeying God's word. I dunno. I think it's the equivalent of practicing a-la-cart Chrisitanity. They pick & choose what they want from God's word & forget about the rest.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
I know Miri thank you for your kind words. It happened so long ago and I have forgiven the man. He died some time ago. But it didn't hold me back. I knew what he meant by the fall and no is innocent. But there is a real innocence in children and when something like that happens you see a change.
I completely agree. I did not mean to be insensitive. I was just thinking along the line that God is the healer of all hurts. You are right that sins against the little ones is especially dark and evil. Jesus said as much;

(Luke 17:1 [KJV])
Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe [unto him], through whom they come!

(Luke 17:2 [KJV])
It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
Hey Wills...we still love ya :p
Willie for president :)