Having Sex Before You Say I...

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Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#21
Before I got married, we had to meet with the preacher several times and buy books at a great expense. Anyways, he said sex between a husband and wife was akin to praise and worship to God. I reckon he was right. I can see how God delights in us doing what he made us to do. I don't think waiting til marriage is a guarantee for success, but it might be a good start. Me and my wife waited and ten years later she is out the door. I can say this, I wouldn't want the idea, notion, or knowledge that my wife had been with another man before me floating around in my head. That could poison a marriage. That kind of poison probably kills some marriages. I don't know. I never felt like I missed out on anything by waiting. We even drank a can of soda together that my wife had been saving since she was 12 years old. The soda was from a church she went to and they were told not to drink it until they married. It was a difficult thing not to have sex before we got married, but it seemed like an accomplishment like climbing mt. Everest or going to the moon. Plus I think it makes the honeymoon alot more affordable. These people who have expensive and elaborate honeymoons so they don't get bored. They already done everything in the sack before the wedding. Me and my wife didn't have to go anywhere. We went to our new rental house that we never lived in before and didn't leave for two weeks. We never turned the tv on until 4 years later when we had our first child.
 
Sep 17, 2016
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#22
I, being mostly familiar in detail with the beginning of the Bible, only really have one reference to give for sex outside marriage not with a married person.

Genesis 38 13-end,

13 When Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14 she took off her widow’s clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had not been given to him as his wife.
15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute,for she had covered her face. 16 Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.”
“And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked.
17 “I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he said.
“Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?” she asked.
18 He said, “What pledge should I give you?”
“Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. 19 After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow’s clothes again.
20 Meanwhile Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back from the woman, but he did not find her. 21 He asked the men who lived there, “Where is the shrine prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?”
“There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here,” they said.
22 So he went back to Judah and said, “I didn’t find her. Besides, the men who lived there said, ‘There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here.’”
23 Then Judah said, “Let her keep what she has, or we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send her this young goat, but you didn’t find her.”
24 About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant.”
Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death!”
25 As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,” she said. And she added, “See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.”
26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.
27 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. 28 As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand; so the midwife took a scarlet thread and tied it on his wrist and said, “This one came out first.” 29 But when he drew back his hand, his brother came out, and she said, “So this is how you have broken out!” And he was named Perez.[a] 30 Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread on his wrist,came out. And he was named Zerah.[b]


 
Sep 17, 2016
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#23
It occurred to me there are other references to the topic.

Bereshiet 5, adam who was given woman had sons and daughters, there was no formal wedding spoken of between he and his companion.

Bereshiet, when abrams and his wife went to egypt, allowed somebody to attempt to have sex with abrams wife to keep the ruse she was only his sister, the inherent problem was she really was his wife, and the egyption ran into this problem and the stated reason this was a problem is because she was his wife, before this was learned it was not seen as a problem by the people involved.

Bereshiet, Abrams first born was to his maidservant, who he was not married to, there was no problem with this.

exodus, priests were commanded specifically to marry virgins, no commandment was given to the general population requiring marriage to those who had never had sex.

to not be seen as giving an unpopular opinion to the normal modern christian view, I would like to remain silent on your actual question and let these biblical references speak for themselves.

I would say however the general problem it says is run into with premarital sex is having sex with other people's wives, which is a talked against practice, though it is difficult to find references to premarital sex between two unmarried people in the Bible, implying unless im not finding anything it is one of the many issues not found in it which implies the practice was not worthy to be spoken of one way or the other.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#24
Sex is supposed to be for the procreation of species. There will be no sex in heaven. We shouldn't make it more than that. Its that simple.
Sex was created by God,not only for procreation but for deep intimacy between the married couple. Song of Solomon is very open about a couple enjoying the intimacy of sex.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
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#25
Sex is supposed to be for the procreation of species. There will be no sex in heaven. We shouldn't make it more than that. Its that simple.
As if the Earth isn't already overpopulated.
 
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LaurenTM

Guest
#28
Sex is supposed to be for the procreation of species. There will be no sex in heaven. We shouldn't make it more than that. Its that simple.

 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
62,196
31,161
113
#29
It occurred to me there are other references to the topic.
Bereshiet 5, adam who was given woman had sons and daughters, there was no formal wedding spoken of between he and his companion.
There were no other people, and Eve was made specifically for Adam.

Bereshiet, when abrams and his wife went to egypt, allowed somebody to attempt to have sex with abrams wife to keep the ruse she was only his sister, the inherent problem was she really was his wife, and the egyption ran into this problem and the stated reason this was a problem is because she was his wife, before this was learned it was not seen as a problem by the people involved.
There was no attempt to have sex with her.

Bereshiet, Abrams first born was to his maidservant, who he was not married to, there was no problem with this.
I wonder that you do not consider Islamics a problem.

I would say however the general problem it says is run into with premarital sex is having sex with other people's wives, which is a talked against practice, though it is difficult to find references to premarital sex between two unmarried people in the Bible, implying unless im not finding anything it is one of the many issues not found in it which implies the practice was not worthy to be spoken of one way or the other.
Try Exodus 22:16-17

"If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. "If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

2 Timothy 2:22
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Malachi 2:14

"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

1 Corinthians 7:2-3

But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-6

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God;

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22

But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.

James 1:14
But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.


1 John 2:15
Do not love the world nor the things in the world If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

1 John 2:16
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

James 1:15
Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.


That is just a few. I am sure there are more.
 
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LaurenTM

Guest
#31
there is just one thing that should be changed in the vows for those who hopped into bed prior to making a public commitment

rather than say 'I do', they should say "I did'

anyway, IMO, it's all just a piece of paper anyway if you are found to have an unfaithful heart
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#32
If I could have 20 more I would.

lol for real? By the time the last one graduates hs you'll be like 80yo.....not to mention the mouths to feed sheesh.....are you going to start your own cult with that many children lol ;) jk brother :)
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#33
lol for real? By the time the last one graduates hs you'll be like 80yo.....not to mention the mouths to feed sheesh.....are you going to start your own cult with that many children lol ;) jk brother :)
I'll just get a 3rd job.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#34
Some people who aren't awful people have sex before they're married. It's not something we dwell on. What's done is done. I don't live in a world of regret from my past relationships and I don't expect my Husband to dwell on his past either.

Of course if anyone asked I'd recommend waiting until your married, but you know don't dwell on the past.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,732
17,196
113
70
Tennessee
#35
Some people who aren't awful people have sex before they're married. It's not something we dwell on. What's done is done. I don't live in a world of regret from my past relationships and I don't expect my Husband to dwell on his past either.

Of course if anyone asked I'd recommend waiting until your married, but you know don't dwell on the past.
I'm not looking back either.
 

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
176
63
36
#37
Be fruitful and multiply some take that too literally and emulate rabbits :p
I was once given this verse by a guy to convince me homosexuality is okay, actually. People really twist this one.

And yeah we are told to be fruitful and multiply, but we are also told to not be passionate and to take time for prayer to avoid satans temptation (in reference to sex), so even though God did create it and has given us guidelines for it, I dont believe that once we are married its a free for all do what you want and go crazy kinda thing : / (Ive talked to believers who have tried to convince me that its just that)
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
28
#38
Some people who aren't awful people have sex before they're married. It's not something we dwell on. What's done is done. I don't live in a world of regret from my past relationships and I don't expect my Husband to dwell on his past either.

Of course if anyone asked I'd recommend waiting until your married, but you know don't dwell on the past.
This is more or less how I feel. I've learned that Christian people, even well meaning ones, can be super condescending about it. I just remind myself that even when people won't let you live it down...Jesus already forgot it.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#39
This is more or less how I feel. I've learned that Christian people, even well meaning ones, can be super condescending about it. I just remind myself that even when people won't let you live it down...Jesus already forgot it.
Yes he did. I kind of laugh when I read it's easy to abstain, well not really. Even in the most careful situations it's not that easy. I admire those who wait, it's a good thing to do, but it's hard.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#40
My one daughter was sufficient for me. Now I have three grandchildren with a set of twins on the way.
I kind think it would be awesome that 500 years from now, there could be a million people descended from me with killer good looks. Then again I got to get my wife to cooperate with me. Well really she would have to want to reconcile first. Now that I think about it, I really enjoy making the babies the most. I'd still take 20 more if God blesses me with them. I'd give them names like Beatrice and Horatio. Super awesome old time names.

I'd like to have grandkids too one day.