The wise man knows that no matter what, he will always be wrong in the eyes of his woman, so men learn to ask a million questions so if it turns out wrong, they have the defense of "yeah, but that's how you told me to do it". Men try to avoid arguments, so when married they give up their ability to make their own decisions and defer to the one actually wearing the pants. Unfortunately, it doesn't work, and no matter what, the man is still wrong. That's why we die before women - just so we can get some peace and quiet.
Now that's just sad but I totally agree with you that there are women who are so manipulating, deceptive and crippling to men (and vice versa). They will put on a front and do whatever it takes to get a man into their spider web and then... GOTCHA! Like that crazy lady in the movie, Fatal Attraction.
I honestly could not be in a relationship with a man who didn't have a backbone and who didn't think for himself. And I couldn't stomach a man trying to appease me either. GAAHH!!
I would want someone with some serious inner strength, someone to look up to ya know? Someone who laughs loudly with abandon. Someone who just exudes confidence and vitality. My dad was one of the strongest men I know. I was raised with 5 enthusiastic, loud, strong-willed brothers and both my sons are extremely powerful and perceptive. Actually, my daughter is one of the strongest, most insightful young women I know. All of my kids are in a relationship with strong, perceptive & loving people. So not all men are in the unfortunate situation you describe.
Manipulation is a passive-aggressive way to bully someone. It's abuse. No man or woman should be in that kind of toxic relationship. Tip for the day: Avoid selfish crazy people.