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shanaynay-deleted
Guest
Greetings,
The best way that I can answer this question, is by describing the godly wives that I have witnessed in my life.
#1 They take care of the children.
#2 They didn't wear makeup or fancy clothing (because their beauty came from within).
#3 They kept a clean home.
#4 They served their guests like family.
#5 They put serving others before their own comfort.
#6 They spoke and had wisdom to share, not through preaching, but through regular conversation.
#7 They were an example of Christ.
#8 They went out of their own home, and helped other families with their homes, and those wives did likewise for them.
#9 They were obedient to their husbands, yes. But their husbands were kind to them, and listened to them talk with interest.
#10 They were willing to do the most menial tasks rejected by others, and take no pay. They would say of the work: "That it was good for their proud hearts, and that their loving savior had done more for them."
Actually, #10 is John Wesley's account of the Moravian saints. But it applies to all Christians, because that is what we all ought to be.
I see no problem with women working, as every woman in my old church Assembly group did so. It may be babysitting or just something part-time. It's not a necessity however, I think it was often due to financial constraints.
Quest
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dane_g87
Guest
The Bible prescribes the primary role of the woman to keep the house and raise the children. Note how I said primary, not only. Godly women who fulfill their God-given role as a mother and wife have a demanding and honorable job, and it is most certainly not to be looked down upon especially by the husband. It is an honor to be a mother and a wife. Too many people especially in American culture look down upon being tied down with children, or taking care of the home, because American culture is sensual and wicked and against God's word anyway. And yes there are many lazy women, but there's also lazy men. And there's also many men who are full of themselves and expect too much from women but so little from themselves. There's more men who think too highly of themselves as well, as you've clearly revealed to us in your elevated opinion about yourself and your accomplishments, Mahogany.
The role of the wife is to raise the children and keep the house, but do you know what the husband's role is? Aside from being completely responsible for his family before God, he must provide for his household. And when he comes home from work, he is to pour out his life into his wife and children. That means no coming home and sitting on the couch to watch vanity while the wife and kids are neglected. That means when Dad gets home he goes straight for the kids to love them, spend time with them, teach them, and train them. And then he puts them to bed. Once they're in bed, then his time goes to his dear wife. And he gives her the affection due her as his wife. Once she's put in bed, then the man has time to himself. Oh Mahogany do you fit that description? Could you fulfill that role? Hardly any men can or do. But godly, humble, and broken men strive for it. So until you can, stop belittling women.
The role of the wife is to raise the children and keep the house, but do you know what the husband's role is? Aside from being completely responsible for his family before God, he must provide for his household. And when he comes home from work, he is to pour out his life into his wife and children. That means no coming home and sitting on the couch to watch vanity while the wife and kids are neglected. That means when Dad gets home he goes straight for the kids to love them, spend time with them, teach them, and train them. And then he puts them to bed. Once they're in bed, then his time goes to his dear wife. And he gives her the affection due her as his wife. Once she's put in bed, then the man has time to himself. Oh Mahogany do you fit that description? Could you fulfill that role? Hardly any men can or do. But godly, humble, and broken men strive for it. So until you can, stop belittling women.
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artistic_dreams
Guest
wow dane ty so very much...that was awesome and so very true.....i agree about the husband bit. not many men take that role that way anymore...sadly there are alot of women that have husbands that neglect them and the kids or the husbands will disappear when the responsibility becomes to much. the father of my sons and the father of my daughter both couldnt handle it and disappear so i did it myself.....i just wanted to thank you for coming forthing an telling us all that....blessings to you....
Snail is just trying to be funny, and as sometimes happens, people who try to be funny can sometimes offend others without intending to do so. I think I know him well enough that I can testify that his heart feels pain when he does wrong.
Do wives have a bed time? Then the man has time to himself? I would think that when my wife is in bed, I would like to be also. Besides, why would I want time to myself? That would imply in my mind, that there is some activity which I would be engaged in which my wife would not be allowed to share.
Quest
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dane_g87
Guest
Questiontime I would ask that you please stop striving to be contentious. I was speaking in regard to the many men who neglect their role as husband and who rage at women for "not doing anything" at home. You're not even a father or husband so it wouldn't apply to you, so I don't see why you'd be giving input here. I am talking about the types of men who come home and expect to spend the time they should be devoting to their family on themselves, or going out with the guys. What I am saying is if a man wants this sort of time, he can have it once he's done his duty with everyone else. Please read the spirit and not strive after the letter. And please, let this be the end of this specific discussion. I did not plan on posting here to argue with you.
I confess, I did have a spirit of contentiousness while responding to your post. I apologize for this.
Quest
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calvina
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heather83
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jfritzyb
Guest
When married...
She is to SUBMIT TO (but not be a DOORMAT FOR) her husband...
When single...
Be the Christian heroine who is diligent in everything that she does (remember Deborah?)
When she has children...
She should emulate the character of Hannah; and learn to accept God's purposes that He has for each child individually and to train them to follow Him
Finally, one last thing to remember: the fulfilment of God's desire brings true happiness--and what is true happiness but godliness with contentment?
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Thats funny, bed time. I joyed that too quest. quite often after I've put my boys & my husband to bed I do our company books cause this is a time of quiet uninterrupted work. sigh, I wish I had a bed time some days as I'm up at 5:30 and often push it and stay up too late to get everything done.
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HeartOfGod
Guest
I think it varies between when a woman is single and if she is married then that could be prayed through and discussed with her husband. I don't think such a question is just black and white and it depends on the individual or the married couple. God is her support system as in where he leads her to the type of job or by any means of support and in a marriage that may vary according to that couple?
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jimmydiggs
Guest
Thank you. I like to think of it in a bit of a future-tense. I would hope that the "future me", would take his fair share in diaper changing, food cooking, dust mopping, window washing, and laundry. A marriage is a partnership. A partnership for life. While the bible is of course, the final word. I think that a male should help. After all, isn't part of being a man, being able to support himself, and his family? This support, I would think, wouldn't just be "bread-winning". I would think this support, would also be through common house-hold chores.
Maybe I just think of women as equals. It seems that to some Christian males, that this is not a good thing. Who knows.
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nanabean
Guest
wow....whenever I think about "the woman's role" or "the man's role" as pertaining to marriage/parenting....I think of when Papabean and I went to talk with the pastor before he married us. He asked us "What would you each say was the percentage it takes from each of you to make a marriage work??" We kinda looked at each other, and both answered "50/50"....then, smiled big 'cuz....see? we agreed! we were proud of ourselves! Weeeeeelllll, then the pastor says....."Ok...but in all truth you each need to be willing to give 100% to each other, to your marriage and to any future children you may have."
Marriage is a partnership. It takes communication, honesty, give & take, support for each other, (monetarily, but more importantly spiritually, emotionaly, pyhsically, and mentaly) compromise, love, and much more....none of these is more or less important than any others...I put them in no particular order!
Going back to "roles"....I think that what works for one marriage may not work for another, but that as long as both the husband and the wife are happy....go with it! That means that in my case, I stay at home, babysit for a living, (LOVE IT!!!!) and do most if not all of the household chores including some of the outside work, such as shoveling snow, and mowing the grass. Papabean has a very stressful managerial job and comes home beat....and we try to have as much time together as we can...so if the housework (inside and out) is already done....we get to enjoy each other more. (Our girls are grown now, so my workload is different....but then again...I'm not as young as I used to be, so that's kinda nice!) This has worked for us for almost 25 years now......I just think as long as the husband and wife can work together to be there for each other and their kids.....there is no ONE right way.
Marriage is a partnership. It takes communication, honesty, give & take, support for each other, (monetarily, but more importantly spiritually, emotionaly, pyhsically, and mentaly) compromise, love, and much more....none of these is more or less important than any others...I put them in no particular order!
Going back to "roles"....I think that what works for one marriage may not work for another, but that as long as both the husband and the wife are happy....go with it! That means that in my case, I stay at home, babysit for a living, (LOVE IT!!!!) and do most if not all of the household chores including some of the outside work, such as shoveling snow, and mowing the grass. Papabean has a very stressful managerial job and comes home beat....and we try to have as much time together as we can...so if the housework (inside and out) is already done....we get to enjoy each other more. (Our girls are grown now, so my workload is different....but then again...I'm not as young as I used to be, so that's kinda nice!) This has worked for us for almost 25 years now......I just think as long as the husband and wife can work together to be there for each other and their kids.....there is no ONE right way.
Here's the deal Jimmy. Because you think this way (as my hubby does) its very likely that you will have a willing wife with no resentment and as a result she will try to bless you in every way possible and make it so that you dont have to do these things! Good on you!.
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elizabeth1977
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Mal316
Guest
A woman's role should be whatever gives her fulfillment in her life. But it should be her call.
Some women like staying at home, raising their children. I know my wife enjoys being a stay at home mom. It's what she's wanted to do for ... gosh... decades now. Thanks be to God that she was finally able to conceive and bear a child.
Some women find fulfillment in working outside the home. It gives them a sense of accomplishment to work in their chosen profession.
Neither role ought to be denigrated.
As far as marriage, kudos to nanabean for her insightful post. A wife is to be an ezer kenegdo ("fitting helper", or "opposing helper") to her husband. "Opposing" is not meant in a negative sense but more in the sense of "supporting" as the thumb is opposing to the other fingers on the hand but without which we could not do the myriad things we take for granted. The woman was taken not from the man's head that she should rule over him, nor from his foot that he should rule over her, but from his side, near the heart, that they should be equal partners and love one another.
Some women like staying at home, raising their children. I know my wife enjoys being a stay at home mom. It's what she's wanted to do for ... gosh... decades now. Thanks be to God that she was finally able to conceive and bear a child.
Some women find fulfillment in working outside the home. It gives them a sense of accomplishment to work in their chosen profession.
Neither role ought to be denigrated.
As far as marriage, kudos to nanabean for her insightful post. A wife is to be an ezer kenegdo ("fitting helper", or "opposing helper") to her husband. "Opposing" is not meant in a negative sense but more in the sense of "supporting" as the thumb is opposing to the other fingers on the hand but without which we could not do the myriad things we take for granted. The woman was taken not from the man's head that she should rule over him, nor from his foot that he should rule over her, but from his side, near the heart, that they should be equal partners and love one another.
