I feel down in the dumps the last few days. I don't know if it's anxiousness with all the things I have to get done in the next few weeks or the stress that's been piling up. I try to rest but I find myself doing anything worth spending my time, and eventually still find things to stress about. I tried to read in hopes of relaxing, but when I found that I couldn't finish the book on my day off, I start to stress about finishing it when I'm free during work breaks or lunch, which I supposedly reserve for homework time and review for finals. I don't even wanna let my mind wander there, school worries me. I'm very close to getting all the required grades for the scholarship but my resolve is weakening.
I introspect but then all sorts of things get into my brain. One says, "I should be studying.." while the other says "I should rest." But I had the last couple days off work and I did nothing but laze around in hopes of 'resting.' Another thought gets into my mind, "Rest in the vine," as well as "Every time you tell yourself that you struggle to rest, ironic much?" Ugh. I seem to know what to do. But I think my faith is running low? I can't seem to get myself to believe and trust.
Why did I have to be human? ;( I could have been an angel in heaven with no worries!