Peter, it doesn't matter how long you read the Bible or how long you have been saved if your heart is not willing. There are new Christians who are more willing to believe than those hardened religious baptized in lemon juice Christians.
Don't go by your "credits" go by the truth of the Word. When we "hear" it also means to believe what we are hearing from the Word apart from our human understanding. That is where faith begins to really take us where the Holy Spirit leads.
The Holy Spirit is the only one who can open our hearts to the truth. How open are we to His leading? THAT is the question. A sourpuss Christian can be so sour and hard that they are unwilling to open up to anything that sounds different to them.
So they interpret that unwillingness as a godly thing when in fact it is the very man made religious thing keeping them from growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The truth is the gateway to our hearts is Christ and His word.
And my heart is bathed in Christs love and acceptance and knowledge of how to
walk as He walked. So what is it that you have that I am missing?
I will quote Peter for you
Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
2 Peter 1:4
It sounds to me like rather than escaping the corruption caused by evil desires you
are wallowing in them and allowing them to continue to dominate.
This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the flesh and despise authority.
2 Peter 2:10
Bold and arrogant, they are not afraid to heap abuse on celestial beings; yet even angels, although they are stronger and more powerful, do not heap abuse on such beings when bringing judgment on them from the Lord. But these people blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like unreasoning animals, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like animals they too will perish.
2 Peter 2:10-12
With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed—an accursed brood! They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Bezer, who loved the wages of wickedness.
2 Peter 2:14-15
They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.”
2 Peter 2:19