What are some of the ways to a woman's heart?? Ladies?? :)
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W
Speaking of chores. Dunno who first wrote this:
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, "I'm going to wash the dishes and I'll be right back."
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: "I'm glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks."
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not "help" my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a "help" to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory ... why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs ... Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! "
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, "I'm going to wash the dishes and I'll be right back."
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: "I'm glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks."
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not "help" my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a "help" to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory ... why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs ... Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! "
I would question the longevity of a relationship I would have with a man, who would need me to do things for him such as his cleaning and laundry.
It is acceptable only if it came from an understanding of division of labor between ourselves in other ways - I could cook and do the dishes or whatever. It isn't fine if he would need me to do that for him as a normal functioning human.
I understand there are exceptions, but these are just personal preferences that I have for a life partner. Being an independent, self sufficient person is attractive.
In fact, I am sure in the beginning of any relationship it is really romantic to do things for your partner, but I would like to set expectations right from the start.
If I can put that much effort into my relationship to make it last than I can save myself from the unnecessary resentment and bitterness that so many couples end up having.
I also can't be with someone who doesn't come from a similar background (thinking, education, work and ethics) as me. It just wouldn't work out.
At the same time, personality wise I would like to be with someone who balances me out. In the areas that I am strong, he can be weak - the areas where I am weak, I'd like for him to be strong.
Is that thinking with the head? Definitely.
If its just for a good old fun time - he just has to look good. He has to look good otherwise too, but everything else is forgivable and I wouldn't care.
Addendum/TL;DR - Men, go to the gym.
It is acceptable only if it came from an understanding of division of labor between ourselves in other ways - I could cook and do the dishes or whatever. It isn't fine if he would need me to do that for him as a normal functioning human.
I understand there are exceptions, but these are just personal preferences that I have for a life partner. Being an independent, self sufficient person is attractive.
In fact, I am sure in the beginning of any relationship it is really romantic to do things for your partner, but I would like to set expectations right from the start.
If I can put that much effort into my relationship to make it last than I can save myself from the unnecessary resentment and bitterness that so many couples end up having.
I also can't be with someone who doesn't come from a similar background (thinking, education, work and ethics) as me. It just wouldn't work out.
At the same time, personality wise I would like to be with someone who balances me out. In the areas that I am strong, he can be weak - the areas where I am weak, I'd like for him to be strong.
Is that thinking with the head? Definitely.
If its just for a good old fun time - he just has to look good. He has to look good otherwise too, but everything else is forgivable and I wouldn't care.
Addendum/TL;DR - Men, go to the gym.
And on a more serious note, loyalty and faithfulness (which I definitely know is required by both people in the relationship.)
But *please* don't tell me that you need me or love me and then go download visuals of naked women. You'll utterly crush my heart. ("Don't break this heart of mine... Just remember: it might not heal this time." -- Toto).
I've had lots of guy friends who struggle with this and I'm more than happy to listen and pray for them as friends, but on a personal level, it's not something I could ever put up with again in another relationship. I don't expect perfection, but if it's a regular, obsessive habit or addiction, I would have to say no to anything more than a friendship.
In fact, this is a major reason why I've been single for so long. I'd rather be alone than have to deal with all that.
It would be nice to find someone who could accept that I'm real--with all the flaws that come with it--and not a fantasy.[/QUOTE]
AMEN SISTER! This has been my experience in my only 2 serious relationships. It is a deal-breaker if the guy is not willing to get help (prayer, technological safeguards, accountability groups/partner, etc) and be intentional about not looking at that garbage. Thank you for saying this. Guys, take note!
But *please* don't tell me that you need me or love me and then go download visuals of naked women. You'll utterly crush my heart. ("Don't break this heart of mine... Just remember: it might not heal this time." -- Toto).
I've had lots of guy friends who struggle with this and I'm more than happy to listen and pray for them as friends, but on a personal level, it's not something I could ever put up with again in another relationship. I don't expect perfection, but if it's a regular, obsessive habit or addiction, I would have to say no to anything more than a friendship.
In fact, this is a major reason why I've been single for so long. I'd rather be alone than have to deal with all that.
It would be nice to find someone who could accept that I'm real--with all the flaws that come with it--and not a fantasy.[/QUOTE]
AMEN SISTER! This has been my experience in my only 2 serious relationships. It is a deal-breaker if the guy is not willing to get help (prayer, technological safeguards, accountability groups/partner, etc) and be intentional about not looking at that garbage. Thank you for saying this. Guys, take note!