I have worked hard at my logic. It is particularly important to me because I am a woman, thus instinct goes with react-by-emotions.
That said, so you understand I really do appreciate rational advise.
BUT, look carefully at what you've said, and compare it to how people responded to it. (You don't even have to answer every response. I'm honestly asking you to think out the logic of what was said on both sides -- yours and everyone else.) And honestly ask yourself if your logic is working.
Time and time again, folks have told why it isn't.
And then once you start questioning exactly how logical you are, then take it one step further. Since your logic isn't working, (not trying to be mean here. If my logic isn't working, I want people to tell me why not), is your heart doing any better?
Now, the natural man -- the emotional man (or woman) -- is going to go with, "of course." BUT then you have to go back to remember, your brain isn't working right either. You thought it was logical, but it was proved illogical.
That leaves you at a place everyone here has already been. (We really have. And, if we have not, then we're still where you are.) Since you cannot trust your own brain or heart, where do you go? What do you do?
Sure, you can see a shrink, but I don't think you're that kind of loss. You're problem is you were born in a world full of people who all think they're thinking and feeling right. But they aren't. The nut jobs in England running large vehicles into pedestrians? The whackos shooting Senators or ramming their cars into protesters in the States? The maniacs hating women and children enough to enact Sharia Laws? The simple dude who thinks purse snatching is the obvious thing to do. They all think they are just as rational and heart driven as you do.
We're all whacked! We can't think right or feel right. That requires the Lord to heal us of our very corrupted minds and hearts.
So when you go back and search out exactly how illogical you are, please! Do the obvious. Ask! Ask us what you want to know about the Lord -- the real Lord, Not the Red-Letter-Jesus you don't really follow at all.
He's right there. All you have to do is get to the point of realizing how much you need him. ALL of him!