sexual harassment and what to do?

[Willie-T]

What? The 17 year old with a teenage kid? lol

Again, always trying to get teens to believe you by stroking their ego, but heaven forbid if someone a little older needs help.

You haven't the slightest idea the way I have nailed this young man right between the eyes. And he, himself, will tell you it was just what he needed... and maturely responded to.

And, where do you get off blasting him for having a child when you want to shield this gal from comments about the lack of wisdom she showed in having two more with a guy she wasn't married to.... if they were all his.

I know you feel cheated out of a rightful place as a wife due to John's problems. And I understand the "projecting" of your anger upon me. But it is getting old when you start attacking every male on the forum....... especially young men shouldering their responsibilities.

 

[Depleted]

Lynn... "macho" has nothing to do with it. I imagine every man here is responding in the same way they would to their own daughter if she was in that situation. Some of us might take a more "active" role in solving the problem, but that's for another thread.

The primary concern is the welfare of the kids. The mom has obviously hit some pretty tough obstacles, and needs support and good advice on how to get out of, or around those obstacles.

That is the way that most guys approach things... how do we fix the problem? We can soothe bruised egos later, but first, let's STOP THE PROBLEM. Women tend to approach problems from a more touchy-feely perspective. Nothing wrong with that, but the problems still need solving.

and, to Lighthearted... sis, nobody has been calling anybody names... the worst thing that has happened has been some blunt talk about what needs to be done. I don't know anyone that would call someone else names for messing up, or making bad choices.. we've ALL done that. I've called myself enough bad names for the stupid s...tuff I've done... but like many have stated, we have to start our discussion with honesty.

Dang! If that's the way every man would respond to his own daughter, then this site has less Christians on it than I thought. If she were your daughter, you would have told her of the beauty of AA meetings? If it were Willie's daughter, he told her to put her big girl pants on and figure it out for herself. Corb would have gained custody of the grandkids and left her to defend on her own.

Have you been reading this thread?

She needed a way to deal with this, and most gave her prayer or kick him in the nuts!

My dad is better than this and he's a non believer, an alcoholic, and is in late Stage 2 of Alzheimers! He wouldn't have given me the "well, you got into this so get yourself out" speech (yet. True, he would have eventually told me where I went dumb, but he's kind enough to tell me where I went dumb, because he has the experience of what dumb looks like and knows dumb is often inherited. lol) He would have given me the money needed to get my own place. Could have happened here for her, but, nope. Egos and macho took over.

 

[Willie-T]

Dang! If that's the way every man would respond to his own daughter, then this site has less Christians on it than I thought. If she were your daughter, you would have told her of the beauty of AA meetings? If it were Willie's daughter, he told her to put her big girl pants on and figure it out for herself. Corb would have gained custody of the grandkids and left her to defend on her own.

Have you been reading this thread?

She needed a way to deal with this, and most gave her prayer or kick him in the nuts!

My dad is better than this and he's a non believer, an alcoholic, and is in late Stage 2 of Alzheimers! He wouldn't have given me the "well, you got into this so get yourself out" speech (yet. True, he would have eventually told me where I went dumb, but he's kind enough to tell me where I went dumb, because he has the experience of what dumb looks like and knows dumb is often inherited. lol) He would have given me the money needed to get my own place. Could have happened here for her, but, nope. Egos and macho took over.

I apologize. I must have missed the post where you said you were sending her money to get an apartment.

 

[MultilingualMessenger]

And that's the crap that made me know instantly that Tasha's post should have gone into the ladies forum, instead of stay here, where the macho men can use it to affirm their machoness. Seriously, dude. You're still thinking her kids would instantly go into custody because they were homeless. That alone tells me you've got no idea what's going on.

That implies that there's no "tough love" or directness in the ladies forum, which we know not to be the case. Some of us ladies are straight-shooters too. I actually prefer the solution-focused, cut-the-niceties approach myself (though I admit that I don't always use it). You yourself don't exactly beat around the bush when you feel someone to be wrong, and you're not the only one.

I don't think folks should be coming down on Willie (and other men) this hard for his (or their) approach. Maybe that's just me though...

 

[Depleted]

For those who care what happened here, there is something we can do the next time a woman posts something like this -- here or just about any other forum on this site. Quickly report it to the mods to see if it can be moved into the ladies forum. If not there, than the prayer forum, because at least people there don't take it as another time to pontificate on the person's morals.

 

[Willie-T]

That implies that there's no "tough love" or directness in the ladies forum, which we know not to be the case. Some of us ladies are straight-shooters too. I actually prefer the solution-focused, cut-the-niceties approach myself (though I admit that I don't always use it). You yourself don't exactly beat around the bush when you feel someone to be wrong, and you're not the only one.

I don't think folks should be coming down on Willie (and other men) this hard for his (or their) approach. Maybe that's just me though...

I know I could be gentler..... but an abbreviated amount of contact on a forum where you only get the chance to type a limited bit of words just doesn't seem like the place for that kind of stuff to me.

 

[Willie-T]

For those who care what happened here, there is something we can do the next time a woman posts something like this -- here or just about any other forum on this site. Quickly report it to the mods to see if it can be moved into the ladies forum. If not there, than the prayer forum, because at least people there don't take it as another time to pontificate on the person's morals.

Is this your promise to stay out of threads that are obviously dealing with male topics? (Since we don't have a private forum)

No, I think it is a big mistake for men not to get female perspectives, and vice versa. That is a lot of what is wrong in communications between the genders today.

 

[MultilingualMessenger]

Dang! If that's the way every man would respond to his own daughter, then this site has less Christians on it than I thought. If she were your daughter, you would have told her of the beauty of AA meetings? If it were Willie's daughter, he told her to put her big girl pants on and figure it out for herself. Corb would have gained custody of the grandkids and left her to defend on her own.

Whoa. Now you know the status of people's souls? I get that you're angry, but this is just too much. Once you start denying the brethren their salvation, that's a sign that you might need to take a breather...

 

[Susanna]

This thread's topic has changed from sexual harassment to general harassment in the general direction of everyone on here.

Interesting.

 

[blue_ladybug]

They can't help it. The natives are restless..

This thread's topic has changed from sexual harassment to general harassment in the general direction of everyone on here.

Interesting.

 

[Willie-T]

Maybe Lynn is reacting to the hand she has been dealt. It's tough, I know. And I probably am too. I try to deal with the stroke I had, and with knowing I only have about three years of vision left. I guess we are both feeling a little shat upon by life.

 

[toinena]

What to do?
Address the situation. That you have already done.
Seek legal advice. I am not sure how it is in your state, but to live under sexual pressure, although you are not a minor, should be a criminal offense.
Get away from the situation.

As for me... I have limited experience in that department. I tend to be sexually ignored more than harassed. But once at my workplace, my boss invited a young assistant to bed with him to watch a handball match. Although she was fully dressed and there were more people present, it felt very wrong, and I, after discussing it with two colleagues, asked the girl if she was bothered by it. She said no, but told my boss... long story short, I got a written warning and was frozen out of that workplace.

 

[MultilingualMessenger]

What to do?
Address the situation. That you have already done.
Seek legal advice. I am not sure how it is in your state, but to live under sexual pressure, although you are not a minor, should be a criminal offense.
Get away from the situation.

As for me... I have limited experience in that department. I tend to be sexually ignored more than harassed. But once at my workplace, my boss invited a young assistant to bed with him to watch a handball match. Although she was fully dressed and there were more people present, it felt very wrong, and I, after discussing it with two colleagues, asked the girl if she was bothered by it. She said no, but told my boss... long story short, I got a written warning and was frozen out of that workplace.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. :/

 

[NotmebutHim]

That implies that there's no "tough love" or directness in the ladies forum, which we know not to be the case. Some of us ladies are straight-shooters too. I actually prefer the solution-focused, cut-the-niceties approach myself (though I admit that I don't always use it). You yourself don't exactly beat around the bush when you feel someone to be wrong, and you're not the only one.

I don't think folks should be coming down on Willie (and other men) this hard for his (or their) approach. Maybe that's just me though...

Well said, MM!

 

[Jenizona]

Maybe Lynn is reacting to the hand she has been dealt. It's tough, I know. And I probably am too. I try to deal with the stroke I had, and with knowing I only have about three years of vision left. I guess we are both feeling a little shat upon by life.

Wow... sorry, to hear that, Willie.

 

[Willie-T]

Wow... sorry, to hear that, Willie.

Hey, I've got three whole years left.... maybe even a little more. But, thank you, so much.

 

[Lighthearted]

I'm interested in what you would like to have seen written to her as being a specific statement of "help."

Talk to and protect your kids and yourself. Pray. Contact your local HUD office for a list of emergency shelters and get out...they would give her a place for 30 days to 6 months...get her to work...give her education on parenting, finances, and nutrition to start. HUD would put her near the top of the list for permanent affordable housing.

 

[Lighthearted]

Hey, I've got three whole years left.... maybe even a little more. But, thank you, so much.

I'm sorry to hear that Willie, I pray that you will let God use that in a loving way.

 

[Willie-T]

Talk to and protect your kids and yourself. Pray. Contact your local HUD office for a list of emergency shelters and get out...they would give her a place for 30 days to 6 months...get her to work...give her education on parenting, finances, and nutrition to start. HUD would put her near the top of the list for permanent affordable housing.

Good advice. My wife and I both work with a similar organization here in PinellasCounty, called Pinellas Hope. Well, two, if you count Family Promise of Pinellas.... though our church does most of the heavy lifting there.

 

[Lighthearted]

Y'all, seriously...let's be done with this thread?