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U
The problem is not the individual, but the individuals perception if themself. Is a zipper breaking really Your fault and evidence of your social failure? Or is it the fault of the people that created the purse and you were their hapless victim? That little story sounds more funny than awkward. Funny in a funny way, not funny in an unfunny way. Get it?
Insecurity plays a huge part in why you take normal events and make them into something bigger, and then turn that into some sort if reflection on you.
Fortunately for us your way of telling these stories makes them all the more amusing. But, sadly, that is counteracted by a genuine belief in the negativity you speak about yourself that you mask in humor.
That's $200 please.
Insecurity plays a huge part in why you take normal events and make them into something bigger, and then turn that into some sort if reflection on you.
Fortunately for us your way of telling these stories makes them all the more amusing. But, sadly, that is counteracted by a genuine belief in the negativity you speak about yourself that you mask in humor.
That's $200 please.
M
$200 seems a little steep...
The broken zipper itself wasn’t really the trouble, true- annoying, though. On the bright side, it forced me to buy a new purse, which I hadn’t been planning to do for at least another five to eight years. Ha!
...I don’t know if it’s extreme shyness, social anxiety, or what. Most interactions with other people (ones I barely know or have never met) turn me into a quivering, useless ball of nerves. And yes, probably because I have a negative view of myself, though why, I have no idea- I’m fabulous.
The broken zipper itself wasn’t really the trouble, true- annoying, though. On the bright side, it forced me to buy a new purse, which I hadn’t been planning to do for at least another five to eight years. Ha!
...I don’t know if it’s extreme shyness, social anxiety, or what. Most interactions with other people (ones I barely know or have never met) turn me into a quivering, useless ball of nerves. And yes, probably because I have a negative view of myself, though why, I have no idea- I’m fabulous.
U
So. It seems yet again a woman has done unspeakable things to my heart. Spent the last few months in hopes that I would get back with my ex, and I had good reasons to think so. Legit reasons, not wishful thinking.
Come to find out she's spent the last few months lying to me and withholding huge information from me. Letting me believe things were a certain way when they Weren't.
I Have a huge list of devastating heartbreaks. Some were painful because of who they were. Some more because of the treatment. Some both. This may be the top of that list.
I'm not the kind of person that hates others, never have been, but if there was someone to push me over the edge it would be her. Not that I have been pushed. I'm still in shock and trying to process. Just found out minutes ago.
I could never trust anyone romantically again. Not now. All future relationships will be things that can't work anyways. Intended to be short lived and with no emotional depth or real trust required. But who knows if or when I'll ever even want that.
I'm normally not one to blame God. A lot of things have been my fault. My choices. This time, though. I felt this was the right choice. I really went out of my way. I wanted to do things right. And everything fit perfectly. I'm way nothing else in my life ever has. Even found more peace than I ever had. And then, without warning, it's ripped from my heart violently. Where was God this time?
It seems that, for many, when it comes to matters of romance God just let's people hang.
My last two relationships seemed on track with God finally. Even felt encouraged by God l, and I don't say that lightly. And this last relationship, her, seemed to make all others pale in comparison. Yet still it ended the same. My heart can't handle another break.
Come to find out she's spent the last few months lying to me and withholding huge information from me. Letting me believe things were a certain way when they Weren't.
I Have a huge list of devastating heartbreaks. Some were painful because of who they were. Some more because of the treatment. Some both. This may be the top of that list.
I'm not the kind of person that hates others, never have been, but if there was someone to push me over the edge it would be her. Not that I have been pushed. I'm still in shock and trying to process. Just found out minutes ago.
I could never trust anyone romantically again. Not now. All future relationships will be things that can't work anyways. Intended to be short lived and with no emotional depth or real trust required. But who knows if or when I'll ever even want that.
I'm normally not one to blame God. A lot of things have been my fault. My choices. This time, though. I felt this was the right choice. I really went out of my way. I wanted to do things right. And everything fit perfectly. I'm way nothing else in my life ever has. Even found more peace than I ever had. And then, without warning, it's ripped from my heart violently. Where was God this time?
It seems that, for many, when it comes to matters of romance God just let's people hang.
My last two relationships seemed on track with God finally. Even felt encouraged by God l, and I don't say that lightly. And this last relationship, her, seemed to make all others pale in comparison. Yet still it ended the same. My heart can't handle another break.
M
Best green tea ever.
For as much as I feel like I’m falling apart lately, there are some things I know I’ve got a good grip on-
• driving in the snow (walking in it hasn’t improved much in the last 30 years)
• the delicious tea pictured above (I literally have a grip on it- I don’t share this stuff)
• God’s grace
• never failing to flip right past Philippians when I’m looking for it, but opening right to it when I’m not
• ending the lives of spiders who don’t pay rent
• failing miserably and trying again anyway (cooking...sewing...talking...)
It’s comforting, from my perspective, to see that my life is actually in some semblance of order, even when I personally am not. God has been generous in sorting out so many things, I know He’ll get to me soon.
...The waiting part kind of sucks, though.
For as much as I feel like I’m falling apart lately, there are some things I know I’ve got a good grip on-
• driving in the snow (walking in it hasn’t improved much in the last 30 years)
• the delicious tea pictured above (I literally have a grip on it- I don’t share this stuff)
• God’s grace
• never failing to flip right past Philippians when I’m looking for it, but opening right to it when I’m not
• ending the lives of spiders who don’t pay rent
• failing miserably and trying again anyway (cooking...sewing...talking...)
It’s comforting, from my perspective, to see that my life is actually in some semblance of order, even when I personally am not. God has been generous in sorting out so many things, I know He’ll get to me soon.
...The waiting part kind of sucks, though.
