Does God want me to masturbate?

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rkmonkey

Guest
Hence all the comments about "Well, what if my wife becomes injured and we can no longer have sex? I can masturbate then to keep my lust under control."

Uhm, how about the spouse that can't even masturbate because she has been injured? Selfish! All you care about is your own lustful desires. Life isn't all about sex, and if you cannot get sex with your spouse, learn to deal. Don't turn to other means to satisfy your flesh.

People who think they need to masturbate in order to keep their lust under control need to realize your lust isn't under control. If it was under control, you wouldn't need to masturbate. Life is not about pleasing yourself. It's about pleasing God.
You make a fair point, however I think it is important to remember that someone might have difficulty controlling themselves in that way, especially after a few years of being sexually active with a spouse. In 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul is basically saying it would be better if we didn't marry so that we could serve God, his reason for allowing marriage essentially is that " since you won't be able to control your sexual urges, it is better for you to marry than to live in sin".

Verse 9: "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Someone who is sexually frustrated is more likely to find themselves committing adultery as a result of it. That obviously does not come anywhere near justifying such horrible behavior, I'm just saying, if sex is cut off for someone who is sexually active, they are more likely to turn to something or someone else to please them.

Using the same logic Paul used, I think that, in order to contain sexual activity within the marriage, it would be better to turn to masturbation in this case rather than some extramarital affair occurring. However, I think it should remain something between the married couple, if that is possible. It would depend on the circumstances for how they could go about that, but I think it could ultimately result in them sort of having what resembles a sex life together without an affair taking place.

Just to add this thought: I do not think porn should ever be part of that equation. If someone cannot do this without pornography that's tough for them, because I think porn is always adultery. The world would be a much better place if it were all destroyed.
 
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lil-rush

Guest
You make a fair point, however I think it is important to remember that someone might have difficulty controlling themselves in that way, especially after a few years of being sexually active with a spouse. In 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul is basically saying it would be better if we didn't marry so that we could serve God, his reason for allowing marriage essentially is that " since you won't be able to control your sexual urges, it is better for you to marry than to live in sin".

Verse 9: "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
So you get married in order to satisfy your fleshly desires with your spouse, as outlined by Paul, but then when that is no longer possible you revert to satisfying your fleshly desires elsewhere.

Call me crazy, but it sounds like someone might as well have stayed single.

Someone who is sexually frustrated is more likely to find themselves committing adultery as a result of it. That obviously does not come anywhere near justifying such horrible behavior, I'm just saying, if sex is cut off for someone who is sexually active, they are more likely to turn to something or someone else to please them.
"The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong about sexual pleasure, any more than about the pleasure of eating. It means that you must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself, and more than you out to try to get the pleasures of taste without swallowing and digesting, by chewing things and spitting them out again." (emphasis added) Mere Christianity, Chapter 6 Christian Marriage, CS Lewis

"...when people say, 'Sex is nothing to be ashamed of,' they may mean 'the state into which the sexual instinct has now got is nothing to be ashamed of'.
If they mean that, I think they are wrong. I think it is everything to be ashamed of. There is nothing to be ashamed of in enjoying your food: there would be everything to be ashamed of if half the world made food the main interest of their lives and spent their time looking at pictures of food and dribbling and smacking their lips. I do not say you and I are individually responsible for the present situation. ... God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perserverance of our will to overcome." Mere Christianity, Chapter 5 Sexual Morality, CS Lewis

and last "A repressed desire or thought is one which has been thrust into the subconscious(usually at a very early age) and can now come before the mind only in a disguised and unrecognisable form. Repressed sexuality does not appear to the patient to be sexuality at all. When an adolescent or an adult is engaging in resisting a conscious desire, he is not dealing with a repression nor is he in the least danger of creating a repression." Mere Christianity, Chapter 5 Sexual Morality, CS Lewis

Using the same logic Paul used, I think that, in order to contain sexual activity within the marriage, it would be better to turn to masturbation in this case rather than some extramarital affair occurring. However, I think it should remain something between the married couple, if that is possible. It would depend on the circumstances for how they could go about that, but I think it could ultimately result in them sort of having what resembles a sex life together without an affair taking place.
Sin is sin any way you slice it. While one sin may have less of a stigma attached to it here on earth, it's all the same to God. By that I mean any sin, no matter how big or small, eternally separates us from God. Trying to justify a sin by saying "Well X sin isn't as bad as Y sin, so it is better to partake in X sin than to partake in Y sin" will get you nowhere. This is just a trick of the devil to try and desensitize Christians to sin.
 
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rkmonkey

Guest
So you get married in order to satisfy your fleshly desires with your spouse, as outlined by Paul, but then when that is no longer possible you revert to satisfying your fleshly desires elsewhere.

Call me crazy, but it sounds like someone might as well have stayed single.
Well, if someone strictly gets married for that reason, that would indeed be pretty stupid. However, I can imagine someone might get divorced simply because they no longer had the ability to have sex with his or her spouse. That'd be awful of them, but in our society, divorce is taken so lightly that I can imagine that happening.

"The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong about sexual pleasure, any more than about the pleasure of eating. It means that you must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself, and more than you out to try to get the pleasures of taste without swallowing and digesting, by chewing things and spitting them out again." (emphasis added) Mere Christianity, Chapter 6 Christian Marriage, CS Lewis

"...when people say, 'Sex is nothing to be ashamed of,' they may mean 'the state into which the sexual instinct has now got is nothing to be ashamed of'.
If they mean that, I think they are wrong. I think it is everything to be ashamed of. There is nothing to be ashamed of in enjoying your food: there would be everything to be ashamed of if half the world made food the main interest of their lives and spent their time looking at pictures of food and dribbling and smacking their lips. I do not say you and I are individually responsible for the present situation. ... God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perserverance of our will to overcome." Mere Christianity, Chapter 5 Sexual Morality, CS Lewis

and last "A repressed desire or thought is one which has been thrust into the subconscious(usually at a very early age) and can now come before the mind only in a disguised and unrecognisable form. Repressed sexuality does not appear to the patient to be sexuality at all. When an adolescent or an adult is engaging in resisting a conscious desire, he is not dealing with a repression nor is he in the least danger of creating a repression." Mere Christianity, Chapter 5 Sexual Morality, CS Lewis
With the first quote, does it then follow that you are opposed to contraceptives? Because that is ultimately what those are for; sexual pleasure without the outcome of procreation. Personally I'm undecided on the matter, which is fine with me as it is something I'd need to discuss with my future wife (whoever she may be). I don't think that having sex for the sake of having sex with your spouse is wrong, though.

I'm not fully catching the relevance of the other two quotes at the moment.I have a mild headache at the moment and I'm not thinking very clearly.

Sin is sin any way you slice it. While one sin may have less of a stigma attached to it here on earth, it's all the same to God. By that I mean any sin, no matter how big or small, eternally separates us from God. Trying to justify a sin by saying "Well X sin isn't as bad as Y sin, so it is better to partake in X sin than to partake in Y sin" will get you nowhere. This is just a trick of the devil to try and desensitize Christians to sin.
I'm not really sure that I fully agree with the whole "any sin is as great as any sin" idea. I believe that all sin has the ability to, as you said, separate us from God. However, I think some sins have other consequences than that. I would have to explain my entire understanding of Gods purpose for humanity to express what I'm saying fully, but in short, I believe that our single most important task is to build community with one another and with God. The most significant human relationship is that of marriage (which is why the church being the Bride of Christ is such a beautiful illustration of God's love), and to sever that relationship is to sever the greatest bond two people can have together. In committing adultery, you sever that relationship. In sexual relations, two people are bonded together, and you can only be bonded like this two one other person. Through adultery, you have severed your old ties to your spouse and created new ties with someone else. You have committed at least two sins here; adultery, and an effective divorce.

I hope that makes sense, whether or not you agree with it. I can find the scripture references to back it up if you'd like later. It comes from the Sermon on the Mount.

And, to make everything I've said essentially irrelevant, now that I've thought about this some more, I think, ideally, it would be best in this scenario for someone to turn to total celibacy. However, I stand by the thought that, if it were necessary in order for someone to remain faithful to his or her spouse, he or she should probably masturbate.
 
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lil-rush

Guest
With the first quote, does it then follow that you are opposed to contraceptives? Because that is ultimately what those are for; sexual pleasure without the outcome of procreation. Personally I'm undecided on the matter, which is fine with me as it is something I'd need to discuss with my future wife (whoever she may be). I don't think that having sex for the sake of having sex with your spouse is wrong, though.

I'm not fully catching the relevance of the other two quotes at the moment.I have a mild headache at the moment and I'm not thinking very clearly.
I'm not a fan of contraceptives. That quote wasn't referring to having sex with your spouse just for the sexual pleasure of it, though. CS Lewis was saying that trying to have sexual pleasure with anyone aside from your spouse is wrong.

For the second quote, the focus was on the last part of it: "God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perserverance of our will to overcome." You said "Someone who is sexually frustrated is more likely to find themselves committing adultery as a result of it." A person who is sexually frustrated should rely on God to help them overcome it instead of trying to use it as an excuse to masturbate. God understands that sexual desires can become overwhelming, but His desire is for you to turn to Him for help. Personally, if someone says they are trying to control their sexual desires, I cannot trust the sincerity of that person's words if said person masturbates. Masturbating helps propitiate a sexual appetite. It does not help a person overcome that sexual appetite.

For the last quote, I posted it to show that a person will suffer no harm by avoiding sexual desires. It is possible for a person to abstain from masturbation, fornication, adultery, etc. To say that a person will succumb to adultery just because he is not allowed to masturbate is silly. Not only are we humans that can choose to succumb to temptation or not, but we are also Christians who can call upon the name of God when presented with temptation. A person must make numerous conscious decisions in order to have an affair. It's not like you are walking down the street naked and happen to slam into a person of the opposite gender who happens to be naked too, and oops! you had an affair. A person does not need to masturbate in order to avoid melting into a heap of boiling hormones.


I'm not really sure that I fully agree with the whole "any sin is as great as any sin" idea.
This is why I clarified my statement of sins being equal by saying "By that I mean any sin, no matter how big or small, eternally separates us from God." I do not believe all sins are equal in the sense that God hates them all with the same intensity. I believe all sins are equal in the sense that God hates them all.

To put it differently, there is a difference between saying "God hates sins X and Y" and "God hates sin X more than He hates sin Y."

I believe that all sin has the ability to, as you said, separate us from God. However, I think some sins have other consequences than that. I would have to explain my entire understanding of Gods purpose for humanity to express what I'm saying fully, but in short, I believe that our single most important task is to build community with one another and with God. The most significant human relationship is that of marriage (which is why the church being the Bride of Christ is such a beautiful illustration of God's love), and to sever that relationship is to sever the greatest bond two people can have together. In committing adultery, you sever that relationship. In sexual relations, two people are bonded together, and you can only be bonded like this two one other person. Through adultery, you have severed your old ties to your spouse and created new ties with someone else. You have committed at least two sins here; adultery, and an effective divorce.
Masturbation is akin to adultery to me. My husband would be having sex with someone else (himself). Honestly, I would not want to marry a man who has so little self-control that he cannot live without sex long enough to wait for me, or cannot live without sex period.

I hope that makes sense, whether or not you agree with it. I can find the scripture references to back it up if you'd like later. It comes from the Sermon on the Mount.
sure

And, to make everything I've said essentially irrelevant, now that I've thought about this some more, I think, ideally, it would be best in this scenario for someone to turn to total celibacy. However, I stand by the thought that, if it were necessary in order for someone to remain faithful to his or her spouse, he or she should probably masturbate.
Or the person could start working on getting some self-control.

If a person is a glutton, we do not advocate them finding different ways to continue eating as much just so that they don't end up binge eating, because we tried to deprive them of over-eating. We tell the person to eat less. We give them food to help decrease their appetites. We don't provide them with a dessert that will only serve to increase their appetite.

Likewise, if someone is obsessed with sex, we should not provide them with the dessert of masturbation. We should help that person get their sexual urges under control. Give them books, pray for them, send them to counseling, Gibbs-slap them.
 
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rkmonkey

Guest
I'm not a fan of contraceptives. That quote wasn't referring to having sex with your spouse just for the sexual pleasure of it, though. CS Lewis was saying that trying to have sexual pleasure with anyone aside from your spouse is wrong.
Ehh, I'm going to take a guess that he has early contraceptives in mind (I'm not sure where my copy of Mere Christianity is, so I can't check the context, but since it's a chapter on marriage it would be referring to contraceptives) as really, the only way to isolate sexual pleasure is to remove the chance for procreation. That is done through contraceptives and, yes, masturbation. Not to mention that Lewis was Anglican, which is about as close as you can get to being Catholic without being Catholic.

Also, I think it also could be understood as you were saying, which is that the idea of sex outside of a demonstration of love rather than two people hooking up for casual sex. Technically there is nothing in the quotation saying that it must be restrained to marriage, but I've read enough Lewis to know that it is implied. (I actually read the Narnia series recently and really enjoyed it, but that's not relevant.)

For the second quote, the focus was on the last part of it: "God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perserverance of our will to overcome." You said "Someone who is sexually frustrated is more likely to find themselves committing adultery as a result of it." A person who is sexually frustrated should rely on God to help them overcome it instead of trying to use it as an excuse to masturbate. God understands that sexual desires can become overwhelming, but His desire is for you to turn to Him for help. Personally, if someone says they are trying to control their sexual desires, I cannot trust the sincerity of that person's words if said person masturbates. Masturbating helps propitiate a sexual appetite. It does not help a person overcome that sexual appetite.
You are very right. I made that last point in my first post in this topic (I think), that masturbation is addictive (especially in conjunction with pornography) and that it can lead to more extreme behavior. Masturbation probably would do little to ease sexual desires for someone within a marriage setting. It would, to say the least, be much more honorable for one to remain abstinent along with his or her spouse.

For the last quote, I posted it to show that a person will suffer no harm by avoiding sexual desires. It is possible for a person to abstain from masturbation, fornication, adultery, etc. To say that a person will succumb to adultery just because he is not allowed to masturbate is silly. Not only are we humans that can choose to succumb to temptation or not, but we are also Christians who can call upon the name of God when presented with temptation. A person must make numerous conscious decisions in order to have an affair. It's not like you are walking down the street naked and happen to slam into a person of the opposite gender who happens to be naked too, and oops! you had an affair. A person does not need to masturbate in order to avoid melting into a heap of boiling hormones.
Eh, I have to disagree slightly here. It has been shown that men who regularly achieve orgasm (sorry, awkward thing to say to a female so bluntly) have a reduced chance of developing prostate cancer. I have a feeling that the "chances" are barely affected though, as these things are always skewed. I don't think that would be enough to justify it by any means. I've already conceded to your other point, however, :p

Masturbation is akin to adultery to me. My husband would be having sex with someone else (himself). Honestly, I would not want to marry a man who has so little self-control that he cannot live without sex long enough to wait for me, or cannot live without sex period.
Just out of curiosity, would that mean that you would not marry a man who had been sexually active prior to a conversion experience of some kind? Or has a backslide period but rededicated himself to the Lord later on in life? And I agree that masturbation is a form of lesser adultery. I'm going to take a guess that you do not think that it is a lesser form, but we will just have to agree to disagree.

Alright, this is some difficult exegesis that I wish I could articulate as well as my one of my Bible Professors can. Much of what I said is the result of theology that comes from daily observation of God's creation. Especially the parts about relationships with people and with God being the most important part of our purpose. I'm going to guess that you've heard someone say before that God created us to having relationship with us. I'd say that is half of the equation, the other half being where we need to love our neighbors and enemies and everyone else you can think of.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it well in The Cost of Discipleship. I will try to find it. From chapter 13 "The Enemy- The Extraordinary".

And who needs our love more than those who are consumed with hatred and are utterly devoid of love? Who in other words deserves our love more than our enemy?... We are to serve our enemy in all things without hypocrisy and with utter sincerity. No sacrifice which a lover would make for his beloved (This is me not Bonhoeffer. Think Jesus on the cross for us, His beloved)is too great for us to make for our enemy... The disciple can now perceive that even his enemy is the object of God's lovem and that he stands like himself beneath the cross of Christ. God asked us nothing about our virtues or our vices, for in his sight even our virtue was ungodliness.
There was something else he said about how essentially we really shouldn't see ourselves as having enemies because, how can we call someone we love our enemy? I can't find an exact quote, I must have failed to underline it when I read the book.

Yeah, I don't really know why I posted that, but it's good stuff isn't it? You should read it if you get the chance and you haven't already.

Anyway, the scripture for that (which I'm sure you've heard a thousand times or more) is Matthew 5:44

"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".

And Matthew 22:36-40

"'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?'"
Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind, This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"

And what I said about marriage being the most important relationship that can exist between two people. (A side note: I just found my copy of Mere Christianity. woot woot. Not what I was looking for though haha) (Well, I was TRYING to find my Gospels commentary. Not idea why it isn't with every other commentary that I own... as well as the other textbook from the class I had the commentary for. I need bookshelves).

Matthew 5: 31-32. "It has been said, Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Essentially, the bond of marriage is so strong that the only way for it to truly be broken is to have sex with someone else. That is why someone "only has permission" (poor word choice) to divorce if the spouse has committed adultery. In that instance, it is as though they aren't married anymore anyway, so the divorce is more legal than referring to the spiritual separation of the two who are one flesh. If divorce occurs, that spiritual union (the one flesh) still occurs if no adultery had taken place. The reason why Jesus specifically points out the woman here as being the adulteress if her husband divorces her is because in that society, a divorced woman either remarried, or starved to death. She HAS to marry or she will die. Which is why His logical conclusion there is that she becomes an adulteress from the divorce.

I hope my explanation was adequate.

Or the person could start working on getting some self-control.

If a person is a glutton, we do not advocate them finding different ways to continue eating as much just so that they don't end up binge eating, because we tried to deprive them of over-eating. We tell the person to eat less. We give them food to help decrease their appetites. We don't provide them with a dessert that will only serve to increase their appetite.

Likewise, if someone is obsessed with sex, we should not provide them with the dessert of masturbation. We should help that person get their sexual urges under control. Give them books, pray for them, send them to counseling, Gibbs-slap them.
Well, it isn't really all that easy for some people. Remember, different people have their own individual capacities which God is fully aware of. Honestly though, i can't really envision a scenario where masturbation is a wise choice for someone who craves sex. If anything, tempting their sex drive without fulfilling it is probably more likely to lead to an affair rather than less.

Are you in college? I hope so. You're very good at presenting well structured arguments where you back up what you're saying.
 
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lil-rush

Guest
Ehh, I'm going to take a guess that he has early contraceptives in mind (I'm not sure where my copy of Mere Christianity is, so I can't check the context, but since it's a chapter on marriage it would be referring to contraceptives) as really, the only way to isolate sexual pleasure is to remove the chance for procreation. That is done through contraceptives and, yes, masturbation. Not to mention that Lewis was Anglican, which is about as close as you can get to being Catholic without being Catholic.

Also, I think it also could be understood as you were saying, which is that the idea of sex outside of a demonstration of love rather than two people hooking up for casual sex. Technically there is nothing in the quotation saying that it must be restrained to marriage, but I've read enough Lewis to know that it is implied. (I actually read the Narnia series recently and really enjoyed it, but that's not relevant.)
Well, he was talking about premarital sex, actually. lol I figured masturbation was kinda similar to premarital sex, so the quote worked.

"The inventor of the human machine was telling us that its two halves, the male and the female, were made to be combined together in pairs, not simply on the sexual level, but totally combined. The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all others kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. ..." and then it goes into the quote I copied on here.

You are very right. I made that last point in my first post in this topic (I think), that masturbation is addictive (especially in conjunction with pornography) and that it can lead to more extreme behavior. Masturbation probably would do little to ease sexual desires for someone within a marriage setting. It would, to say the least, be much more honorable for one to remain abstinent along with his or her spouse.
It definitely would show a certain level of carrying to remain abstinent with a spouse that could no longer partake in sex.

Eh, I have to disagree slightly here. It has been shown that men who regularly achieve orgasm (sorry, awkward thing to say to a female so bluntly) have a reduced chance of developing prostate cancer. I have a feeling that the "chances" are barely affected though, as these things are always skewed. I don't think that would be enough to justify it by any means. I've already conceded to your other point, however, :p
heh heh. Well, I was talking more psychological than physiological harm. I think I've read that somewhere too, though.

Just out of curiosity, would that mean that you would not marry a man who had been sexually active prior to a conversion experience of some kind? Or has a backslide period but rededicated himself to the Lord later on in life? And I agree that masturbation is a form of lesser adultery. I'm going to take a guess that you do not think that it is a lesser form, but we will just have to agree to disagree.
Sorry, lack of clarification on my part. By saying I wouldn't want a husband that couldn't wait for me I meant once we were married. I wouldn't want a husband that was so impatient that he had to service himself in-between our intimate relations.

I try not to judge a person based on sins they committed before coming to God, or sins they committed while in rebellion against God. I would be more cautious with a man who has been sexually active, but I would not disqualify him as potential husband material because of it.

Alright, this is some difficult exegesis that I wish I could articulate as well as my one of my Bible Professors can. Much of what I said is the result of theology that comes from daily observation of God's creation. Especially the parts about relationships with people and with God being the most important part of our purpose. I'm going to guess that you've heard someone say before that God created us to having relationship with us. I'd say that is half of the equation, the other half being where we need to love our neighbors and enemies and everyone else you can think of.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it well in The Cost of Discipleship. I will try to find it. From chapter 13 "The Enemy- The Extraordinary".

...

There was something else he said about how essentially we really shouldn't see ourselves as having enemies because, how can we call someone we love our enemy? I can't find an exact quote, I must have failed to underline it when I read the book.

Yeah, I don't really know why I posted that, but it's good stuff isn't it? You should read it if you get the chance and you haven't already.
haha. I'll have to check it out. I need to physically write out a reading list, because I'm always telling people I'll read stuff, and then I forget what I'm supposed to be reading.

Anyway, the scripture for that (which I'm sure you've heard a thousand times or more) is Matthew 5:44

"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".

And Matthew 22:36-40

"'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?'"
Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind, This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"

And what I said about marriage being the most important relationship that can exist between two people. (A side note: I just found my copy of Mere Christianity. woot woot. Not what I was looking for though haha) (Well, I was TRYING to find my Gospels commentary. Not idea why it isn't with every other commentary that I own... as well as the other textbook from the class I had the commentary for. I need bookshelves).

Matthew 5: 31-32. "It has been said, Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Essentially, the bond of marriage is so strong that the only way for it to truly be broken is to have sex with someone else. That is why someone "only has permission" (poor word choice) to divorce if the spouse has committed adultery. In that instance, it is as though they aren't married anymore anyway, so the divorce is more legal than referring to the spiritual separation of the two who are one flesh. If divorce occurs, that spiritual union (the one flesh) still occurs if no adultery had taken place. The reason why Jesus specifically points out the woman here as being the adulteress if her husband divorces her is because in that society, a divorced woman either remarried, or starved to death. She HAS to marry or she will die. Which is why His logical conclusion there is that she becomes an adulteress from the divorce.

I hope my explanation was adequate.
Very adequate, thanks.

Well, it isn't really all that easy for some people. Remember, different people have their own individual capacities which God is fully aware of. Honestly though, i can't really envision a scenario where masturbation is a wise choice for someone who craves sex. If anything, tempting their sex drive without fulfilling it is probably more likely to lead to an affair rather than less.
Indeed, and I'm not trying to be unsympathetic of the personal struggles of others. I just care more about what is right than I do about people's feelings. ...yeah, no way to make that sound good. lol

Are you in college? I hope so. You're very good at presenting well structured arguments where you back up what you're saying.
Why yes, I am. And thank you. Pre-law major, actually.
 
Jan 20, 2010
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All this talk about masturbation being bad even when married, seems a little off to me, I don't see why if one spouse wants to have sex and the other doesn't , why masturbation is so wrong, If my future husband decides to masturbate, then he can, I don't care. I'm not going to consider it adultery.
 
Jun 20, 2010
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All this talk about masturbation being bad even when married, seems a little off to me, I don't see why if one spouse wants to have sex and the other doesn't , why masturbation is so wrong, If my future husband decides to masturbate, then he can, I don't care. I'm not going to consider it adultery.
But what if you masturbate & then offer your body to your husband only to manipulate him into doing something you want him to do? Will you only give it to him when you want something in return? Somehow I don't think he'll appreciate that very much. After a while, he may cheat on you while you're off pleasing yourself.

If he wants it and you don't, tough. If you want it and he doesn't, tough. Be there for each other, regardless. If you're nauseated, that's different. If you have a headache, take some aspirin. If you're too tired, drink some coffee.
 
Jan 20, 2010
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How would I be being manipulative to my husband?? I never said I'm only going to have sex to get things I want. That being said, if one of us doesn't want to have sex, I'm not going to say "well, I am your wife therefore you have to sleep with me right now."

I am not going to have sex with my husband if I am not in the mood. (that being said I am also not going to force my husband to have sex with me if i wanted it and he doesn't) It's not a requirement, being there for someone doesn't mean you have to sleep with them whenever they want it.
 
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kate0558

Guest
God doesn't judge! And if masturbation is what keeps you away from a one night stand.... trust me he'd rather u do it yourself. We were made with these sexual desires... I think he knows we have to fill them somehow. I don't think God frowns on it at all.
 
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periksandeep

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wow you guys typed almost a book on this
 
Jan 20, 2010
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How would I be being manipulative to my husband?? I never said I'm only going to have sex to get things I want. That being said, if one of us doesn't want to have sex, I'm not going to say "well, I am your wife therefore you have to sleep with me right now."

I am not going to have sex with my husband if I am not in the mood. (that being said I am also not going to force my husband to have sex with me if i wanted it and he doesn't) It's not a requirement, being there for someone doesn't mean you have to sleep with them whenever they want it.

am I gonna get an answer to this?

After all i want to know how I am going to use sex to get what i want and be manipulative
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
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I'm going to be bluntly honest here. Sexual related problems seem to be the highest type of struggle occurring in the world. Pornography has fastly surpassed all other addictions in the world by leaps and bounds.

Now, there are a lot of ways I could go about this, but I think I'll let God speak for Himself.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7

Now if God judges us by what is in our hearts, and Jesus said that by even looking at a woman lustfully, we commit adultery in our hearts...the scary reality that those of us who are caught up in things like masturbation & pornography is that by this definition, we are adulterers.

If to even look at a woman lustfully is adultery of the heart, how much more when we literally see sexual things and imagine them, then act on those through something like masturbation. Not to say that it is unforgivable, for "If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Yet in your title, 'Does God want you to masturbate', I would have to strongly say 'No.'
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
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Sorry to double post, but for some reason my edit button wasn't there.

For everyone who is single or married, and has questions about sexual related things...among just relationships as a whole, I would recommend you watch Mark Gungor's series. One of which being "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage", though they are others for teens and various stages.
 
Feb 9, 2009
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Lil Rush, while I haven't read or followed all of your posts in this thread, I have to agree with you about what Paul says about marriage on this one. Long and short I don't think it a good idea to do this for any reason. Even if it is over someone you may like, it still doesn't make it right. Lil Rush, I think so far you have probably said everything there is to be said based on my brief scanning of your posts. Well said on all accounts.
 

eugenius

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2009
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I can't speak for God, but somehow I think God rather you do the thing you said instead of keeping it in and eventually going out and raping some girl or hiring a prostitute because your body can no longer deal with it physically. The bible says nothing about the m word, but it says plenty about adultery. If it prevents adultery, its a good thing.
 
Feb 9, 2009
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Ok as I pointed out a few moments ago, I personally think it falls into the category of lust and therefore is not permissible by any standard. I think the things you have listed however, if you are in Christ and are covered by His blood, sins forgiven, and are following Him every step of the way then you would in all rights be able to show restraint and refrain from such. I'm not going to start a huge debate here but that's how I see it. And as lil rush referenced about Paul as well.
 
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POPO1991

Guest
Fact about masturbation, it not mention in the bible however, there is a verse which say when you look to other woman in lust, then you are already committing adultery to her, so my brother, that is wrong and adultery is a sin, sex is wrong in how you do it, Sex is something legal, let us define masturbation, this is taken from Wikipedia..

Masturbation refers to sexual stimulation of a person's genitals, often to the point of orgasm.[1] The stimulation can be performed manually, by other types of bodily contact (short of sexual intercourse), by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods.[2] Self masturbation is a common form of autoeroticism. Masturbation with a partner (called mutual masturbation), is also common

notice that it says sexual stimulation, Notice the first three words, which is SEX, I am not typing these to offence you, but then stand firm in what you believe in, Jesus can always help you..:)... anyway masturbation leads to sex in a awkward way.. so don't do it...
 
Aug 8, 2010
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Masturbation leads to sex in an awkward way??

Yes, sexual stimulation has the word sex in it.

The penis is a sexual organ, that has the word sex in it too. So, in an awkward way, they lead to sex too...what to do about that??
 
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AndyPG

Guest
I don't know the rule on masterbation in Protestant Christianity, but in Catholicism (I'm Catholic), masterbation is a mortal sin (a grave sin that seperates us from God). And I struggle with it, but I tend to agree..this is why the Church teaches this:
Sex and sexual acts are meant for a married couple (man and woman) any sexual act outside of this is not using God's gift of sexuality for its intended purpose: love of spouse and procreation. And not only are you doing this, but using God's gift meant for love of spouse for self gratification.

I struggle with it, but it is a temptation and we must pray to overcome it.

God bless.