Condoms or Abstinence

[Rissa77]

My parents didn't want to touch the subject with me. They let the public school system do it. Then they also let the church do it. The choice was given to me. Even before I got saved, I chose abstinence. BOTH sides were given to me and BOTH fully explained. This worked with me. I didn't feel pressure to choose either because I wasn't a believer, I just chose for myself, which gave myself a bit of pride in the matter, which is what a teen needs to stand for their choice. If they're forced to make a choice between one option, there's not much pride in it, and also not much to hold onto when temptation roars its ugly head.

I said it before and I'll say it again.. I would rather given kids at school the full side of both choices in order to get heartfelt obedience rather than heartfelt rebellion.

 

[Shard]

agreed completely Lightbliss. Let parents focus on just abstinence if they want. Public schools should teach both.

 

[resurrection33]

You just dont get my point. As much as we stand up to it, doesnt always change it. If two teens cam up to me and asked my opinion on sex, I could say wait until marriage til i'm blue in the face. If they decide not to wait anyways, lets hope they at least had the education to use a condom. So who is going to teach that? Well certainly not the schools if we do abstinence only, hence my issue. We can preach abstinence all we want. Not everyone is going to listen no matter how hard we try. Having available information for those that choose not too is necessary.

Giving them condoms will feed their sexual addiction and make things worse. In the long run they will be even more likely to contract a disease or have an unwanted pregnancy because the addiction will keep getting bigger, and they will have less and less control.

 

[lightbliss]

Well let me my opinion explain further:

Parents should teach their children about the nature of sex and God's design for sex.

Where as schools (or at least the one I attended) really only teach students about the health/protection aspect of sex.

And I completely agree with Rissa77. Way before I was an "actual" Christian and before my mom had "the talk" with me, I'd already decided that I would be chaste until marriage (if I got married).

 

[Blueberry]

There are consequences to sin. It is our responsibility to set the right example. That includes standing up for what is right, even if the world doesn’t understand yet.

Ok, so you have a christian teen child. You raise them only in the abstinence only dept. You dont tell them about condoms, believing that you are condoning sex if you do that. So one day they come to you, and say hey Dad, I was wrong I had sex, Ive now contracted HIV...why didnt you ever tell me there was a way I could of prevented it?

It sounds like this would be the answer you would give. Well son, there are consequences to sin, this is one of them. This would be your child, dying, because you didnt tell them there was a way it could of been prevented. I would call that sheer ignorance, and offloading responsibility. We are parents of humans that have the capacity to do adult behaviours, without the maturity to handle it. At least give them a choice. Its like putting your head in the sand. Shard pointed it out too. The bible belt has a high rate of teenage pregnancies. They are BEING taught abstinence. Is it working? No. Be realistic with the problem too. We all know sex before marriage is sin, but lo and behold teens still do it. At least give them the option to be safe in it. This is their choice before God they are making, their choices do not reflect bad parenting, etc.

 

[Shard]

Giving them condoms will feed their sexual addiction and make things worse. In the long run they will be even more likely to contract a disease or have an unwanted pregnancy because the addiction will keep getting bigger, and they will have less and less control.

I really hope you read what is directly above this thread. And no one said to give them condoms. BUt to not tell them about condoms is ridiculous. If you havent noticed no matter how hard you try the world you be perfect, so deal with it. I gave up on that a very very long time ago. You should have too.

 

[JohnKnox]

Ok, so you have a christian teen child. You raise them only in the abstinence only dept. You dont tell them about condoms, believing that you are condoning sex if you do that. So one day they come to you, and say hey Dad, I was wrong I had sex, Ive now contracted HIV...why didnt you ever tell me there was a way I could of prevented it?

It sounds like this would be the answer you would give. Well son, there are consequences to sin, this is one of them. This would be your child, dying, because you didnt tell them there was a way it could of been prevented.

That's awfully defeatist, and unnecessarily so. Teaching abstinence doesn't mean being a Monday morning quarterback about HIV infection. You can teach abstinence and at the same time teach about the consequences of sexual irresponsibility and sin. They are not in conflict.
BTW, as tentative as I am about how to teach sex ed in western public schools, I'm quite decided on how parents should teach their own kids. If I had any (human) children, yes, I'd allocate my entire teaching budget into the abstinence only dept. and let them worry about condoms when they are married.

 

[charisenexcelcis]

I don't think it is just a matter of hormones. We live in a world were we are bombarded by sex. Sex is used to advertise, to entertain, and even to inform. Sex has become a social tool, used to change society and the values of society. Even history is being rewritten based upon this generation's views of sex.
Our children are loaned to us from God. Each of us must be diligent to bring them from infancy to adulthood. The most important part of this is the development of influence. Your attitudes regarding sex will end up in their minds. If you match up your attitudes with your words and your actions, it is likely that you will influednce their behavior as they approach and reach adulthood. I have been married for thirty-four years and have never stepped out on my wife. She is the only woman that I have ever "known" My children saw this as they grew and it became the pattern that they are now following, though not exactly. The details of what you tell them and what you allow them to be told, of how much you shelter them from the sexually-charged atmosphere of our culture and how you teach them the morality issues of sex are part of the responsibility of you as parents. But remember that your words must be matched by your actions and your attitudes.

 

[JohnKnox]

There are very few people in their society that want to do good.At least it isn't as bad a the free love in the 1960's.

You know what I think about that: things are worse now than they were in the 1960s. Sure, they talked a great game about free love during the sexual revolution, but I'm of the opinion that most baby boomers were relatively restrained, and girls graduated high school virgins. It's gen x that's been steeped in the sexual revolution, which is why in the 80s we were all making our parents blush. Now, of course, gen y pre-teens are being sexualized, making their parents' eyes bug out.

 

[resurrection33]

Jesus said we are not to have sex until we marry. To give kids condoms is to tempt them to disobey Jesus, is it not?

We might not understand why Jesus wants us to wait till we marry to have sex, but we have to obey him.

Someday we will understand.

 

[silverwind]

Jesus said we are not to have sex until we marry. To give kids condoms is to tempt them to disobey Jesus, is it not?

We might not understand why Jesus wants us to wait till we marry to have sex, but we have to obey him.

Someday we will understand.

Well, Jesus calls the church his 'bride', depicting the idea of purity. If he is returning for his PURE bride (which he cleansed) wouldn't he expect his bride to remain pure in the sense that she doesn't become defiled with sin while waiting for him to return for her. The picture of Jesus coming for his bride helps us understand that even in an earthly relationship purity is to be respected and his commands for us obeyed.
If I would go further with this I would say that when Jesus returns for his bride, he will consumate the marriage in heaven (the marriage supper of the Lamb) meaning that here on earth we also must understand that consumation is a serious thing of becoming ONE FLESH. Tampering with this messes up the unity of a relationship. Does this make sense?

 

[Shard]

AND RESSURECTION YOU DONT LISTEN SO IM YELLING!!! NO ONE SAID GIVE THEM CONDOMS!!! BUT AT LEAST TEACH THEM ABOUT THEM!!!! BIG DIFFERENCE THERE BUDDY!!!

 

[Blueberry]

Jesus said we are not to have sex until we marry. To give kids condoms is to tempt them to disobey Jesus, is it not?

We might not understand why Jesus wants us to wait till we marry to have sex, but we have to obey him.

Someday we will understand.

I never said give them a condom, sheesh. Teach your child or children in schools that abstinence is the only way to go. However, IF they do it, please be safe.
What makes any adult in here so arrogant to think that teenagers wont fall into premarital sex? Our desire is of course we dont want them to, or encourage them to. They do however live in this world, swayed by peer pressure, the media, etc..the temptation will be there. If they fall into that temptation, I for one would like to know that at least they will be safe.
How can you stop any teenager from having premarital sex? You cant. You cant be with them every minute of the day. All you can do is teach them the truth, and release them into God's hands, and pray they have a strong enough relationship with God to keep them from temptation. Is this a foolproof way? Obviously not, otherwise why are there so many teen pregnancies in the bible belt, who are taught abstinence? Every person is accountable for their own actions before God. Funnily enough, people do fall into sin, lets not kid ourselves about this.

Someone mentioned me being a doom bearer talking about HIV. All it takes is once. I would not willingly risk my own childs life, for the offchance that the one time he falls into sin, it would have a lifetime death consequence.

 

[Jullianna]

Isn't it heartbreaking that families are so broken that the schools step in to deal with such things in the first place? That a child would feel the need to go to a non-family member about something so personal and so precious...tragic.

 

[godsbluesman]

In The days of the bible there was no birth control except abstinence-why promote sex out of marriage? if you offer it they will use it.
ABSTINENCE!!!!!!!!!

 

[Scotty]

What don't y'all understand about the concept of FORNICATION?? It is an abomination unto the Lord. ABSTAINENCE IS KEY to healthy living.
Physical and spiritual.

Maggie

AMEN!!! I'm all for abstainence!

 

[Shard]

I give up one this board. Its not worth it. You people are too extremist to see the forest for the trees. At what point are you going to realize that the world consists of more than just your understanding of Christianity? This is why people avoid Christians and poke fun of us on the news. Because the ones that they interview are so close-minded and beyond reasonable it's embarassing. Should we teach abstinence? Absolutely. Should we pull the wool over our eyes and believe teaching only abstinence will magically solve the problem of pre-marital sex? NO> To think that way shows nothing but useless pride and ignorance. Teens will do what they want whether we tell them to or not. I would rather they at least be informed about condoms so a bad decision isn't made worse. But no, you people are content to sit here and say "We dont need condoms, abstinence will cover everything" Well thats not how it works. Wake up, truly open your eyes and see this sinful world you are in. You cant go into a supermarket without seeing magazines selling lust on the covers. Its time to realize this world is full of sin and people will fall all the time. So why not at least have a safety net? Even they arent failproof...but its better than nothing.

 

[resurrection33]

AND RESSURECTION YOU DONT LISTEN SO IM YELLING!!! NO ONE SAID GIVE THEM CONDOMS!!! BUT AT LEAST TEACH THEM ABOUT THEM!!!! BIG DIFFERENCE THERE BUDDY!!!

I don’t even agree with that.

Birth control is a whole other issue—what married couples want to do regarding that. I am talking about discouraging kids from having sex.

When you die, you pass on to the resurrection.

When you sin you suffer the fire of hell.

I think therefore the important thing is leading kids away from sin. Therefore, it is better they not be told about condoms, because it will increase the chances they will commit sin.

Right?

 

[jackiesfriend]

Sex is for marriage - Go beyond abstinence - Put the thoughts away and don't let them enter your mind, and that is self-control.

 

[AliceOfLegend]

I don’t even agree with that.

Birth control is a whole other issue—what married couples want to do regarding that. I am talking about discouraging kids from having sex.

When you die, you pass on to the resurrection.

When you sin you suffer the fire of hell.

I think therefore the important thing is leading kids away from sin. Therefore, it is better they not be told about condoms, because it will increase the chances they will commit sin.

Right?

Wrong.
Don't tell people about condoms? You do realize that condoms are a form of BIRTH CONTROL? Same subject. Same issue.

you can discourage sex all you want. but you have to realize, ARE going to have sex someday, and they should know what is available so if they don't want children right away in their marriage.


This forum gets so irritating. A lot of people talk but don't actually listen to what people say. Because. if its not their way, it must be wrong.