Me, Myself, and Every Matchmaker on Earth

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NukePooch

Guest
#1
#1
I've discovered that most single people tend to be lonely most of the time. Occasionally, as in once every couple of months or so, they have a short time where they feel really good about being alone, but for the most part, it seems like they spend a lot of time lonely.

I'm the other way around. I spend most of my time alone and loving it, but I only occasionally feel lonely. I suffer through it for a day or so, then it's back to my old self again.

I only wonder if there aren't other people who feel as I do reading this thread. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Being a bit odd (okay, I'm waay odd, but I'm just talking about being a loner here)...being a bit odd in this way usually only gives me problems when it comes to dealing with pushy matchmaker types...and I tend to collect them, let me tell you.

I once had a mom try to set me up with her daughter when I was in the WalMart checkout line...she tried to give me her number and everything. I mean, I was buying toilet paper and soup, so obviously I'd be a good choice to date her daughter, right?

I once had someone from church try to set me up with someone else from church she barely knew (got her name wrong), I decline politely...she comes up a few minutes later dragging said girl by the elbow to introduce us...I decline again. I get in my car to go home, and she's out there again to try and talk me into it. I almost had to run her over...or maybe I almost wanted to run her over.

So...anyone else have an pushy matchmaker stories? Also, what do you do to fend the matchmakers off? Pepper spray? Stun gun? Quick jab to the throat? "No, thank you, I'm not interested" just doesn't work...
 
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ciaobella

Guest
#2
#2
Very funny...the answer is yes, I have been set up my match makers. I also allowed myself to get talked into joining Match.com. Now THAT was a huge mistake. I quit after 1 month.
I've been single for 13 years after a 12 1/2 year marriage. I raised my 2 children pretty much on my own. Yes, at times my life appears to feel lonely and I have to admit I would love to meet that special person and get married again. On the other hand, I find myself quite content being single. I'm not sure if that feeling comes from fear or 13 years of being so busy working and raising two kids I couldn't give a relationship a second thought or I'm so set in my ways there is no way I want a man in my house again.
I just have to say, NukePooch, be careful your convictions on singlehood don't stem from fear or lack of self esteem. I don't believe God intended for us to be alone:)
 
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Blueberry

Guest
#3
#3
I think Im not bothered anymore by my singleness. Im very much a loner type person. There are days of course where I feel lonely, then I get up and do the next thing. That's all you can really do, is keep moving forward and not dwell too much in it. I find sometimes hoping to be married again hurts too much, so I stuff those desires down and settle for where I am. I can't say I have ever had anyone try and match me up with anyone, lol.
 
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ChristianGuru

Guest
#4
#4
NukePooch said:
I once had a mom try to set me up with her daughter when I was in the WalMart checkout line...she tried to give me her number and everything. I mean, I was buying toilet paper and soup, so obviously I'd be a good choice to date her daughter, right?

I once had someone from church try to set me up with someone else from church she barely knew (got her name wrong), I decline politely...she comes up a few minutes later dragging said girl by the elbow to introduce us...I decline again. I get in my car to go home, and she's out there again to try and talk me into it. I almost had to run her over...or maybe I almost wanted to run her over.
Click to expand...
This is some of the most masterful real life stories I've ever heard. I laughed so hard! I feel bad!
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#5
#5
ciaobella said:
I just have to say, NukePooch, be careful your convictions on singlehood don't stem from fear or lack of self esteem. I don't believe God intended for us to be alone:)
Click to expand...
I believe that God would prefer us to stay single, but He does have no problem at all with marriage, after all, He created it. I really don't have any deep-seated convictions on singlehood. I'll never say that I'll never get married, because I very well might. I just realize that what is important to most of the people out there isn't important to me.
I personally don't have any problem with marriage. If God sends the right woman along, then awesome. If not, that's awesome too...but I've never actively looked for someone. It's just not something I think about too often. I don't date at all, it's just never been something I've been interested in.

I also don't mind most of the matchmaker types, they mention that I would be a perfect match for their cousin's uncle's daughter's next-door neighbor's exchange student from Zimbabwe...I decline, they say okay and move on. That's okay, because I know they're only trying to help in their own way...I just can't stand the ones who don't know that no means no, you know?

There's got to be someone out there who gets 'helpful' people trying to set them up all the time...I dunno, maybe someone keeps pinning a sign to my back that says 'Needs a girlfriend, pronto'. It usually happens to me a few times a year, at least.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#6
#6
My mother once tried to set me up with a gay man.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#7
May 23, 2009
16,761
5,659
113
#7
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
My mother once tried to set me up with a gay man.
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Ha ha ha, Nod!!! When I was in college, a very friendly, beautiful black girl I worked with told me I was too shy (ha! I never have a problem speaking my mind) and that I "needed to learn how to flirt" and that she was going to teach me (I'm not sure why she thought this, seeing as I was in a relationship with the guy I eventually married). We worked at a small cafe together, so she basically had an attitude of, "Watch, and learn!!"

The very next guy that came up to the counter was greeted with her boisterous, most ambitiious "HI THERE!! HOW ARE YYOOOOUUUU TODAY?" with an exaggerated swing of her very pretty face and hair. I was smiling already!!!

She made a little small talk with him... and then it happened. She decided to make a move for the brass ring.

After several little chit-chat type exchanges, she finally asked, "Well hey, do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," he replied cheerily, "but I do have a BOYFRIEND. Wanna see?"

He then proceeded to whip out one of those fold-up photo inserts with about 20 pictures and showed her every single one, excitedly telling her all about him and how they were planning on getting married...

The poor girl was TRAUMATIZED. She was very naive to other cultures and lifestyles and I'm pretty sure this was her first encounter ever with someone who was openly choosing to be gay. She literally stumbled back a little bit in shock... and I was in the back room, LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF.

I told her... sure Tosh... anytime I wanna learn how to pick up GAY men, I'll come to the expert!
 
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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#8
May 23, 2009
16,761
5,659
113
#8
Sorry for the double post, but I didn't want to write all of this in a single writing.

I do believe that God has meant for some people to be single, and for others to be married. Not everyone is meant to be single, and not everyone is meant to be married, and we all need to give each other mutual Christian respect and love for our individual callings.

I was one of those most-dreaded co-dependent, clingy people at one time. I had low self-esteem to begin with, but my divorce pretty much completely blew any notion of self-confidence I had to pieces.

Many of you out there can relate to this--the girl my husband chose instead of me was everything that I was not: athletic, tall, blue-eyed, red-haired, five years younger. It was hard to look at myself in the mirror because all I saw was something that he did not want. He never even told me he was divorcing me--he moved out one day while I was at work, and I received papers in the mail that said, "YOU ARE BEING SUED FOR DIVORCE."

I have not had many relationships, but they were all terrible choices. God literally had to drag me through a process of learning to be independent, and it's been hard. But, it's been 7 years and counting since my last relationship, and I have to say, although I would LIKE to get married again, I'm come to a place where I'm also very happy with my single life.

Being married is no cure for loneliness, as many would think. I know many married people who are the loneliest people you will ever meet. Some rarely see their spouses because of conflicting work schedules, etc. If you are relying on marriage to fill that void of loneliness, you will be sorely disappointed, which often leads to looking for another person because there is always the thought of, "If I could only find the 'right' person, I wouldn't feel this way."

I'm thankful that God has literally dragged me through a live mine field in order to get me to think in a different direction, and I feel very sad for all those out there who used to think like I did, that a relationship or marriage will somehow make the pain go away or fulfill you as a person. Sometimes, getting married is just the beginning of new kinds of pain that are even worse than being single.

May God heal ALL our hearts and make us whole and complete in Him, whether single, married, or waiting! :)
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#10
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#10
Nukepooch

I smell what your stepping in dude. I have been alone most of my life and most of the time I am just fine with it. I do go through short periods of loneliness but it doesnt last long. It is interesting I was married for seven years and was not only lonely but miserable...lol lol lol so I have decided I can deal with a couple days of loneliness, its far better than being in a bad marriage. I would like to get married one day and have a family but not in a big hurry.

I have also been the target of people who mean well but have absolutely no business playing cupid. Its weird because I assume they think because I live alone I am miserable. Anyway some stories.................well my loving and dear mother did actually try to hook me up with one of my sisters friends, who is currently dating another girl..........but do you think that stopped my mother...nooooooooooooooooooooooooo she mentioned something the other night about how this girl was free.................ROFL................I was like earth to mom..............apparently my sweet mother never got the memo she was gay.............

I even once had the old man down at the filling station ask me why I didnt "CAPTURE" this certain girl in town..........lol lol lol lol lol lol sheeesh I wouldnt even know how to go about capturing a woman.............what do you use for bait, or a trap even......................lol lol lol
 
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erika83

Senior Member
#11
Dec 17, 2008
142
1
18
#11
I find matchmakers really annoying and while most of the time I'm fine with being single, these matchmakes are the ones that try to convince me that it's not "normal" to be single at my age.
I had a guy call me several times and try to set me up with his brother, telling me that the guy has house, car and what not haha. No need to say I got really mad, it's not a house or car I'm looking for in a guy. Anyway I try to be polite and let them know that I don't need their help to find someone and that I'm not desprate either. Sometimes the best approach is to change topic :D
 
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Ricke

Guest
#12
#12
I remember when I was around 10 My Mom tried to play Matchmaker with my 20 year old Brother. Mom had a friend who had a daughter she tried to convince my older Brother to date.....My Brother told my Mom this girl did not appeal unto him.

Mom says, "Well she has a wonderful Personality" my Bro sez "Yea Mom, but who wants just to wake up to "Personality" every morning!! End of Story......
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#13
#13
Hommer said:
Nukepooch
I even once had the old man down at the filling station ask me why I didnt "CAPTURE" this certain girl in town..........lol lol lol lol lol lol sheeesh I wouldnt even know how to go about capturing a woman.............what do you use for bait, or a trap even......................lol lol lol
Click to expand...
I like that...capture a woman. Perhaps I can help.

Bait: Use chocolate or shoes. Or chocolate shoes.
Place them in front of a mall with a 'Everything 50% Off' sign out.
Wait until the woman or women go in...it won't take long.
Lock all of the doors.
Take your pick. Live happily everafter.
 

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Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#15
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#15
I have to say Nuke, you could have at least said Hi to the poor girl. She probably felt as put upon as you did, and who knows, whether intended or not something could have come of it.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#16
#16
Pheonix said:
I have to say Nuke, you could have at least said Hi to the poor girl. She probably felt as put upon as you did, and who knows, whether intended or not something could have come of it.
Click to expand...
Wow...surprised to see this old thread dredged up from the depths...

Well, what I didn't write in my original post was that I knew the girl, and she was young. I was over 30, she was 18-20 ish...not my cup of tea. It wouldn't have gone anywhere.

That said, I have thought that I should have said something, but I was totally blindsided. I had said no, in no uncertain terms, and here comes Mrs Matchmaker again using the battering ram approach. I was shocked...couldn't have been more shocked if she had tried to set me up with my cousin or something.

But yes, I've thought that I should have said something to defuse the situation, but to this day I can't figure out what I could have said that would have made any difference. Mrs Matchmaker set me up to be a jerk, and there was no way out of it.
 
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vagabond

Guest
#17
#17
You can thank me later Nuke about getting this thread alive again :D

This Mrs Matchmaker sounds to be fun, you could send her any time to me if I were near you hahaha
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#18
#18
vagabond said:
You can thank me later Nuke about getting this thread alive again :D

This Mrs Matchmaker sounds to be fun, you could send her any time to me if I were near you hahaha
Click to expand...
If you were near her, she'd find you...

I'm sure she meant well, as I'm sure all matchmakers mean well. I don't mind the thought, but when I say no, that should be the end of it...to this day I still can't believe she chased me down in the parking lot.

While I'm on my soapbox, I recently had a long-term friend give me a paper with his wife's friend's phone number on it...in her own handwriting. I suppose she was told all about me...except that I'm not interested in dating...My friend knew. I said something about 'Hmmm...I guess your wife didn't know I'm not into dating..." My friend said that it was his idea. So...Mr Matchmaker, who I've known for 7 years, knows I don't date, so he goes and gets wife's friend's number anyways?

I really don't understand the leaps of logic involved with matchmaking...
 
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DanuckInUSA

Guest
#19
#19
People have a hard time understanding the lack of a desire for companionship. See it as a gesture of love as they merely want you to have the happiness they themselves have found.
 
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vagabond

Guest
#20
#20
LOL

"The Chasing Matchmaker"

NukePooch sounds as if you were in a zombie movie :D
 
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