What Do Men REALLY Mean When They Say, "God Made Men Visual"?

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What Are Men REALLY Saying When They Say, "God Made Men Visual?"

  • Men have a God-given right to a physically beautiful wife.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Men have a God-given right to trade in a no-longer beautiful wife for one he thinks IS beautiful.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Men have a God-given right to have wives who are much better-looking than they are.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • It's no big deal that when a guy looks at or is addicted to porn. After all, God made men visual!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Men's sexual needs are more imporant than the sexual needs of their wives.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Men's sexual needs are more important than the emotional needs of their wives.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Men's sexual needs are greater than women's and so men should be allowed more freedoms.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Men need more grace and understanding with sexuality than women.

    Votes: 1 11.1%
  • Men and women have equal needs that require equal amounts of respece and fulfillment.

    Votes: 4 44.4%
  • Hold your wild horses! I have my own answer, which I'm going to post:

    Votes: 6 66.7%

  • Total voters
    9

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,055
113
69
Tennessee
#61
Yeah I understand all that, and I'm certainly not saying we have to avert our eyes.

I for one, constantly have to check myself cause the moment I let it the flesh tries to roar back to life.

I've been in the habit of visualizing the ladies as my sister's or potential sisters in Christ, and that helps.
Actually, while I am at work or elsewhere I often do avert my eyes, not so much to avoid temptation but really no desire to be looking at any other woman besides my wife. At home my eyes are wide open.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,055
113
69
Tennessee
#62
All things being equal, any man that would chose a woman much younger than himself for purely visual reasons is foolish as they would have little or nothing in common to relate to. After a week of fun and games there would be nothing left to talk about. Yes, after a period of years that younger woman's beauty would fade as well but I believe also that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. A woman with deep inner spiritual beauty would have that beauty transcend to the outside. Rather than the beauty fading over the years it will actually be enhanced and more pronounced. At least that has been my experience and observation through the years.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#63
I’m glad you are finding good guys to counter the bed examples. I hope to be one of the good guys soon.
Well you're one of the better new guys we've had come around the forum in recent memory (granted this is the internet so that's like maybe a month before things are ancient history). Still good to have you and your contributions here.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,055
113
69
Tennessee
#64
I don’t think status necessarily means financial, or I didn’t intend it to only mean that. I guess there are other types of success, like social status. Fair point about talking to women about some of their views.

I’m glad you are finding good guys to counter the bed examples. I hope to be one of the good guys soon.
I liked how you put it about the 'bed examples'. There are always a few of those which are to be avoided. :)
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#65
Well you're one of the better new guys we've had come around the forum in recent memory (granted this is the internet so that's like maybe a month before things are ancient history). Still good to have you and your contributions here.
Thank you. I enjoy reading your posts, too. You seem like a grounded and thoughtful person.

I liked how you put it about the 'bed examples'. There are always a few of those which are to be avoided. :)
I didn't notice that typo. Meh, it works? lol
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#67
I didn’t notice the typo until your post was quoted lololol
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#68
All things being equal, any man that would chose a woman much younger than himself for purely visual reasons is foolish as they would have little or nothing in common to relate to. After a week of fun and games there would be nothing left to talk about. Yes, after a period of years that younger woman's beauty would fade as well but I believe also that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. A woman with deep inner spiritual beauty would have that beauty transcend to the outside. Rather than the beauty fading over the years it will actually be enhanced and more pronounced. At least that has been my experience and observation through the years.
My younger brother traded in his ex for a much younger wife. They did meet at school, though. They both had the same major and emphasis, so there was some shared interests.

I do think of this chorus whenever I hear of a friend someone I know dating someone much younger:
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#69
I read this article years ago and just found it again. I'm going to quote the little story I remembered and then post the link in case ya'll wanna read the whole article. It's very interesting and fits well with this topic.

Practical Problem
The practical problem with letting “attraction” lead the way in finding a spouse isn’t profound: it just doesn’t work. If all demanded that their quirky, secular notions of attractiveness or chemistry be perfectly fulfilled before they agreed to marry a person, no one would marry.
I once counseled a Christian brother in his dating relationship with a great woman. She was godly, caring, and bright. She was attractive, but not a supermodel. For weeks I listened to this brother agonize over his refusal to commit and propose to this woman. He said they were able to talk well about a lot of things, but there were a few topics he was interested in she couldn't really engage with, and sometimes the conversation “dragged.”
He also said that, while he found her basically attractive, there was one feature of hers that he “just pictured differently” on the woman he would marry. I’d ask about her godliness and character and faith, and he said all those things were stellar (and he was right). Finally, he said, I guess I'm looking for a “10.”
I could hold back no longer. Without really thinking, I responded, You’re looking for a “10”? But, brother, look at yourself. You’re like a “6.” If you ever find the woman you’re looking for, and she has your attitude, what makes you think she would have you?
Here’s something else the world won’t tell you: Even if you find your “perfect 10”—however you define “10”—marriage is still hard. When you search for a spouse, you’re looking for someone (a sinner, like you) whom you’ll be serving God and living the Christian life with until Jesus returns or one of you dies.
In that context, even a really good sense of humor will only get you so far. Physical attractiveness (as defined by the world) fades in 100 percent of people, including you. “Chemistry” as the world defines it ebbs and flows in any relationship. Your spouse can be as fun-loving as can possibly be and there will still be many moments that aren't fun. Your spouse can have the best personality you’ve ever seen, and he or she will still drive you absolutely batty sometimes. You can marry someone who appears to be an omni-competent genius, and there will still be times neither of you knows what to do next. Knowing this is part of maturing as a person and as a believer, and it’s part of what makes marriage wonderful and special.
As you seek someone with whom to serve God in marriage, build on something more than what might make for a few fun dates or an impressive catch in the world’s eyes.


https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/brother-youre-like-a-six/
 
T

TheWriter

Guest
#70
True Love? Too many people playing that game of sex, and fame.

True Love? You broke the true meaning behind the words with sex, and fame.

Lol this had no relevence to anything but it does prove too many play that game of love.
 
G

Gracie_14

Guest
#71
Don't do it Gracie! You're too young! :cool:


Now if only I could find a job that needed the best Pharisee ever! :cool:
No worries, Didy...I managed with this thread...sooo, why not? :ROFL:

Anyways....
I guess you're right....:cautious:
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#72
If being attractive was a virtue, Jesus would have been a good looking man. Truth is, He was not much to look at, the Word of God says.
If being attractive were the key to a lasting relationship, Hollywood wouldn't have the world record for divorces.
And if being intelligent and rich were a guarantee for a successful marriage, high society divorce attorneys would be out of business.

I believe God created a man to be attracted to a sweet, smiling, curvaceous woman with nurturing qualities. In the same way, He created a woman to be attracted to a strong, confident, gentleman with leadership qualities. Each person has their own idea of what is attractive to them. But if your number one priority is looks or money, you better prepare yourself for disappointment because looks and riches will not last.

As for God making men visual, that may be true. But don't kid yourself, women are visual, too. Women see what you're looking at and hear the words of your heart when you talk about a woman's worth. The male quality that attracts women the most is faithfulness. A godly man who can be trusted with her heart is as valuable to a woman as the Proverbs 31 woman is to a man.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,345
9,365
113
#73
I understand what you're saying, and I want to sincerely apologize to anyone I have offended in this thread.
*Lynx squints at his computer screen, takes a long draw on his pipe, blows a smoke ring contemplatively and sits back on his haunches.

Gonna have to disagree with the disclaimers you have posted in this thread. Ain't nothing wrong with this thread. It's not in the same tone as your usual threads, but the topic and your position on the topic are valid and logical. The frustration you express with the topic is also justified.

Nope, not a thing wrong with this thread. Well, there is that one post by somebody else claiming we men are mostly interested in women as baby factories, but aside from that there ain't a thing wrong with this thread.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
113
50
#74
The simple truth of the matter. You cant be with someone without attraction. Ive known uh...... a few girls
who after getting to know one another better, where takin back on account of my intellect, manners, belief
in God, so on and so forth. And some just lost it after hearing my music.
" Now I know why I was so attracted to you Eli". My ego doesnt mind being fed..........
but honestly, if there isnt chemistry, and mutual beliefs, you might as well not go for it.
No matter how hot she is.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#76
My daughter regularly sends me memes to make me laugh and to brighten up my day. One early morning she sent me a gif with no words or message, just a shirtless tatted up Jason Momoa as Aquaman slowly rising up from the sea in nothing but a pair of black jeans. Then she texted, "Just wanted to make sure you were awake." :eek: I deleted it of course because it was rather steamy. :oops:

At any rate, don't think women are blind. Just like many men admire an hourglass figure, many women swoon over a V-shaped man (muscular shoulders, arms & chest, long legs like pillars). Nevertheless, most people don't look like athletes or models so it's not realistic to make that our main priority in looking for a mate. Does that make sense?
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#77
*Lynx squints at his computer screen, takes a long draw on his pipe, blows a smoke ring contemplatively and sits back on his haunches.

Gonna have to disagree with the disclaimers you have posted in this thread. Ain't nothing wrong with this thread. It's not in the same tone as your usual threads, but the topic and your position on the topic are valid and logical. The frustration you express with the topic is also justified.

Nope, not a thing wrong with this thread. Well, there is that one post by somebody else claiming we men are mostly interested in women as baby factories, but aside from that there ain't a thing wrong with this thread.
I like the way you put this. I was trying to think of what to say, but agree. I don't see anything wrong with this thread. There is a bit of negativity, but the frustrations are Seoul's experience and understandable.

I guess I tend to not take issues about men in general personally. I know the the venting generally doesn't have anything to do with me specifically, and are more about the experience of the person venting. If there is some truth to it, that may be something I can reflect on. In this case, there is truth to some things I have personally struggled with.

I do agree with Ellorah that women struggle with similar things, though. Maybe that would be a good idea for a different thread?
 
W

Wild

Guest
#78
Its quite simple. Most everyone desires a beautiful mate, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Do some people put more emphasis on the emotional rather than physical? Sure. But I think its not really skewed in favor of any gender , but I could be wrong of course
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#79
I asked husband the question in the title of the thread. his answer: it depends on the man.

so... there ya go lol.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
1,318
453
83
38
#80
Some men like women ultra thin and fragile like a mechanical pencil lead, and some like them thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.
As for a visual, everyone enjoys eye candy, but some only focus on it as the foundation of whatever they are pursuing.
So yea, it depends on the man and what all he's looking at.