Is there a big shortage of Christian men for Christian women to marry?

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BenF

Guest
#1
#1
Hi guys,

I am a 28-year-old seriously Christian guy and I am not sure if I should plan to continue living like an unmarried monk for life or if I should get married. I am not sure which is the best way for me to serve Jesus.

I am considering pouring out my life for Jesus mostly through work...by like working 80-140 hours per week until I die. I do internet work from home in a potentially extremely lucrative field (ie it could make billions of dollars, which could be used to feed millions of starving kids for Jesus who would otherwise die).


I am trying to figure out if this means getting married and having kids is impossible if I am wanting to pour out my life for Jesus in this manner.

I guess I'm like a harder-working, frugal, Christian Bill Gates...who's also building an online church / bible study...but I'm seriously considering never getting married if it means I'd feel like I'd have to serve Jesus less...and maybe you can help me understand Christian women who want to have big families and homeschool so maybe I'll know if that's a dead end to consider or not?

It's like if I can make $10 billion by working so hard that's enough to feed like over 1 million starving children who would otherwise starve to death...and tell them about Jesus...like it seems selfish of me to not continue on that path so I could get married but then have to work less and then have that on my conscience...like '100,000 kids maybe died because I got married'...I feel very torn between the two...like being married and having and / or adopting lots of kids (like 7 - 40) also seems like a good way to serve God...

So is like 26 hours per week of family time from a work-from-home husband (not counting like 12 hours per week of Jesus time and being generally available at home like all the time) enough from a husband in a completely different line of daily work? Am I crazy to think I could marry somebody who does something different during the 80+ hours per week I'm working on computer/internet stuff from home? ...like what do homeschooling girls expect? (sorry I was publicly schooled to my detriment and don't really know).

I guess I figure a girl who also did internet work and worked hard alongside me would probably be compatible as well, but finding a Christian one of those to marry is like near impossible. I guess I figure if these nice Christian girls who want to marry and have a family it'd be like a good thing to help enable them to do that, which is why I am asking if there is a big shortage of such guys...to try to weigh where I can serve God best...

...also...any advice on how to weigh feeding an extra 1,000 children who would otherwise die vs. getting married and raising 1 kid in a Godly environment...hopefully I'd be able to marry in a way it wouldn't create that kind of potential tradeoff, but I'm not sure what kinds of decisions I might have to make. I guess if a wife didn't actually improve business operations or my productivity...I'd be looking at having to make some tradeoff like that so ANY advice on this is MUCH appreciated.

Thanks!
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#2
#2
i think there is a shortage. just because i rarely meet them
 
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Pillar319

Guest
#3
#3
well man first obviously is pray, ask what the lord is putting on your heart, if you have the gift of singleness, and are able to serve christ without a wife then all the power to ya, even paul says it is better for you to be single like him. but if you have a desire to be a husband, that is also a noble and god fearing way to go, with different challenges of course
 
Pinemeadowsgeorge

Pinemeadowsgeorge

Banned
#4
Jan 20, 2011
104
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#4
what are you talking about??
seems that youve listed out qualifications for both sides of an argument...
Seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened!! satisfaction is a mentality away in any circumstance, and wouldnt inner peace, anywhere at all, be fulfilling in and of itself?? what could you really give? Marriage is a union of heaven to draw closer together toward endless Love and Compassion in our Lord Jesus Christ.... Monasticism is never advisable as a freelance endeavor because it can become a tool that ego can use to destroy our faith. the will to obey is the key feature of monasticism, which is probably why ill never pursue it myself.. but aside from my point.. i mean honestly you seem like a good catch for a young woman, but this is a society that perverts love and relationships with all kinds of things, diluting love in a sea of twisted conception,
Love is always made perfect in inperfection, and this is not an age that follows that view, hence the MR RITE terminology,
God provides all. do not worry about what you will eat or wear or where you will sleep, seek first the kingdom, and all will be awarded to you
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#5
May 5, 2009
2,568
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#5
It seems like you think God is relying on you to make alot of money and feed all these starving children.

God doesn't need you to do anything. He's keeping you alive right now so what makes you think that you are the only person who is going to stop other people from dying.

If God wants the children to live and/or be saved, they will, regardless of what you choose to do. Their lives are not in your hands and I'm sure that God knows of more than one way to skin a cat.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#6
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#6
Sharp said:
It seems like you think God is relying on you to make alot of money and feed all these starving children.

God doesn't need you to do anything. He's keeping you alive right now so what makes you think that you are the only person who is going to stop other people from dying.

If God wants the children to live and/or be saved, they will, regardless of what you choose to do. Their lives are not in your hands and I'm sure that God knows of more than one way to skin a cat.
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My thoughts exactly.

There are perhaps More Christian Women than Christian men of marriageable age but, I would say there are fewer women with the qualities a Christian man is looking for. Perhaps this is only an American thing but it seems like most of the women here have a lot of growing up to do. They get married and find out the hard way just how much maturity it requires.

When I was 18 I used to think I could save the world. I hit a snag when I was in Columbia and realized that no matter how poor someone is relative to me, I cannot subject them to my charity. I can not do anything without God and only through Him will anything be truly fruitful.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#7
#7
My pastor was saying last week that he's amazed that our church is almost 50% male (but most of them are either married or MUCH younger/older than me. haha). He's been pastoring for a long time, in various sized churches, and indicated that there has always seemed to be a shortage of men..period.

I pray more churches become like ours. While godly women DO need godly men for marriage purposes, our churches need them for leadership purposes. We have a lot of teens in our church and so many of them live with their moms, and dad is long gone. They need godly role models to stop the cycle.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#8
#8
Jullianna said:
My pastor was saying last week that he's amazed that our church is almost 50% male (but most of them are either married or MUCH younger/older than me. haha). He's been pastoring for a long time, in various sized churches, and indicated that there has always seemed to be a shortage of men..period.

I pray more churches become like ours. While godly women DO need godly men for marriage purposes, our churches need them for leadership purposes. We have a lot of teens in our church and so many of them live with their moms, and dad is long gone. They need godly role models to stop the cycle.
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Part of the issue is that modern churches have been continually 'feminizing' for eons. It's why there's recently been a growing movement to let men be men in the church, instead of turning them into eunuchs.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#9
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#9
I would like to find this land of Churches full of women.

Here we have teenage girls and married women. There is this gap that exists. The ones that are here and are the right age identify with either teenage girls or married women. Another reason to move.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
NukePooch said:
Part of the issue is that modern churches have been continually 'feminizing' for eons. It's why there's recently been a growing movement to let men be men in the church, instead of turning them into eunuchs.
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I think the world had that effect on the church. And we all let it happen. The whole feminist movement. I am woman, hear me roar...blah, blah, blah (though as I said in Bible study the other night, seems to me that a purr is much more effective than a roar most of the time. haha...joking...kinda ;) ) Time for the church to be as it was intended.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#11
#11
Liamson said:
I would like to find this land of Churches full of women.

Here we have teenage girls and married women. There is this gap that exists. The ones that are here and are the right age identify with either teenage girls or married women. Another reason to move.
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I think most women, myself included, wrestle in early years with being the woman the scriptures teach us to be and the woman society, tv and magazines teach us to be. We know the woman God wants us to be, but somewhere in our minds we think guys won't be attracted to us if we don't "compete" with the women of the world.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#12
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#12
The way I have come to understand it is like a fire or a Crucible that women go through in the early adulthood when they seem to shed the need to keep up with the world. When they emerge from this its like they went from Caterpillar to Butterfly and every guy for miles around sees it. They trade having pink accessories, permed/blonde hair, and piercings galore to realizing their true natural beauty has always been inside of them.

I really like you Jullianna, your words are very refreshing. :)
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#13
#13
At my church there is not one man that is single and close to my age. I am 27 going to be 28 in May. I find myself in a difficult age group to meet single men. I could date younger or older. There are probably 22 members of my church and not one of them is a sinlge man close to my age. I have switched churchs but I want to stay at the church I am currently at because I feel like im right were I need to be.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#14
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#14
I also attend a small group that isn't actually affiliated with my church, you might try that. If your area has a lot of churches I'm sure there is something like that there.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#15
#15
Liamson said:
I would like to find this land of Churches full of women.

Here we have teenage girls and married women. There is this gap that exists. The ones that are here and are the right age identify with either teenage girls or married women. Another reason to move.
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I think its like that because you have to find a group to fit into. I usually identify more with the older single women. There is only one other woman close to my age and no single men at all. So with limited choices you have to fit somewhere. In my church nearly all of the women around my age are married with several children. I think I would be able to identify with them somewhat but, they have a families and usually hang out with each other.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#16
#16
buckeyegirl700 said:
At my church there is not one man that is single and close to my age. I am 27 going to be 28 in May. I find myself in a difficult age group to meet single men. I could date younger or older. There are probably 22 members of my church and not one of them is a sinlge man close to my age. I have switched churchs but I want to stay at the church I am currently at because I feel like im right were I need to be.
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I understand exactly what you mean. Alot of people (at least in my church) are already married by our age and so it hard to find a group to fit into. I usually find my self hanging out with the single women in their 40s and 50s.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#17
#17
Jullianna said:
I think the world had that effect on the church. And we all let it happen. The whole feminist movement. I am woman, hear me roar...blah, blah, blah (though as I said in Bible study the other night, seems to me that a purr is much more effective than a roar most of the time. haha...joking...kinda ;) ) Time for the church to be as it was intended.
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No kinda about it...a roar makes me resist, but a purr makes me putty.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#18
#18
Liamson said:
The way I have come to understand it is like a fire or a Crucible that women go through in the early adulthood when they seem to shed the need to keep up with the world. When they emerge from this its like they went from Caterpillar to Butterfly and every guy for miles around sees it. They trade having pink accessories, permed/blonde hair, and piercings galore to realizing their true natural beauty has always been inside of them.
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Then again...maybe not.
 

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DanuckInUSA

Guest
#19
#19
In society today boys are staying boys and not growing to men. Yes there is a shortage.
 
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