So We All Know About Our OWN Quirks - How Good Are We at Putting Up with Someone Else's? Are We Just Too Set in Our Ways?

[cinder]

This may sound bad but because I don’t have finances at this time, in church, I find myself not trying to make friends. Maybe it’s a bad perspective (as I’ve been told) but I feel that because I can’t treat people or bless them in some way, I am ill equipped to cultivate friendships.

Often times I may be sitting in the center of the room all alone as people are chattering all around me. There is the kind soul that says hello every once in awhile and some may even sit and talk but usually I am solo. That’s changing as sometimes people just decide to sit with me.

It’s not that I don’t like people, I love them but it’s hard to make friends when you feel like you are hiding something (shame).

It’s a little sad that in a church of 2000 I feel like I have acquaintances as opposed to friends. But I am to blame for that... Not saying I have NO friends, but that friendship is in the church and doesn’t go beyond its walls.

People are busy, living life. And I don’t have the means of being the person to reach out, invite them to lunch or whatever.

Again, this has been my experience (early on) but seems to be changing in part.

There are plenty of ways to be a blessing without a lot of money. Just making time for people and listening to them is huge. Invite people over for a game night with really simple food or movie night with popcorn. Find or start a group that goes hiking or bike riding (though you may need to wait until there's not 2 feet of snow on the ground depending on where you live).

The perspective of not wanting to make friends without being able to contribute to the friendship is not a bad thing (though if you're like me letting other people contribute something to your life is the hard and humbling part of friendship) but the perspective that you have to have more money (and how much more because there are legions of advertisers out there trying to part you from your money as soon as you get it, you can make a lot and not feel like you have a surplus) in order to have something to contribute just isn't accurrate. Much more crucial is the bits of yourself you give to the friendship rather than the bits of money.

 

[BrotherMike]

Im always willing to try and change things that NEED to be changed. Im a work in progress and always will be.

I feel like its not too hard to accept others quirks. If it is something that really really bugs me, Id hope we would both be mature enough to talk about it and work through it.

This is how I feel as well. I'm pretty easy going and laid back to handle other peoples quirks and if I say something then it probably really bothers me lol.

 

[BrotherMike]

is seoulsearch trying to matchmake people on here? I had no idea we were being conned I mean matched.

why not just start a thread called 'who do you like the most on CC singles'. I mean isnt the direct aprroach the best approach lol.

then start another one called 'propose to someone on here thread'

I don't think her intention is to matchmake people here, she is just creating friendly topics for us to discuss.

 

[Dino246]

I am too set in my ways, soooo ,I'm content to remain single!

I'm not into trying to change the ways of others,neither do I want someone to try and change me!

I am happy where the Lord has me!
I'm free to study,pray go when I feel moved,and just bask in Him without encumberances !

Lol besides I'm too old to want to change!

Unfortunately, once you get really old, someone has to change you.

 

[LordsHandmaiden]

Unfortunately, once you get really old, someone has to change you.

Too funny!
When I get that old I will still be telling them to do it...........
MY WAY!

 

[up]

lovez it
when
someone has a quirk,
me thinks it's
adorable 🤫☺️😉

 

[Mel85]

Quirks are what makes us unique!

If my spouse cannot accept me for my quirks, then he can quirk off! Lol.

But seriously, I think having unique and similar quirks is what makes one relationship fun and interesting

 

[Demi777]

Ive compromised a little when it comes to my temper and sorted out people who r good for us and those who arent. And the way i use my iui overtime and sparetime i also adapted
He had also compromised a lot. He stopped drinking for already 7 months started going to church and bible studies... big list but imma stop there

 

[JesusLives]

Wait, what? Inveterate? That's not esoteric at all. Everybody knows inveterate.

If I were trying to be obscure I would use much more jejune garrulity and thrasonical bombast in my rhodomotade expatiations.

Someone needs to go back to regular English so the old Blond can continue to follow the conversation as I am already hard of hearing and now you want to make this old dog learn new words or old words I never knew existed? Are you all highly educated or what? Come back down to my quirky level......

 

[JesusLives]

Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day wondering which one of us is the awesome one, or at least I find some justification to believe you're calling me awesome.




RGF (resting grouch face), playing dumb (even better when I'm not playacting and just take that long to realize someone is trying to matchmake), and a good dose of cinder bluntness and snark.

People should pity my mother, she has a daughter that's just like her husband.

Not all the way like your Dad otherwise you'd be married.

 

[Lanolin]

Ive compromised a little when it comes to my temper and sorted out people who r good for us and those who arent. And the way i use my iui overtime and sparetime i also adapted
He had also compromised a lot. He stopped drinking for already 7 months started going to church and bible studies... big list but imma stop there

I dont think those are quirks.
A quirk would be if when you got angry you started talking in a funny accent.
Drinking alcohol is not really a quirk. I think a quirk would be if you were around people that drank a lot and made a glasshouse out of all the empy bottles.

 

[tourist]

Someone needs to go back to regular English so the old Blond can continue to follow the conversation as I am already hard of hearing and now you want to make this old dog learn new words or old words I never knew existed? Are you all highly educated or what? Come back down to my quirky level......

He obviously has a high eye-que.

 

[Lynx]

Someone needs to go back to regular English so the old Blond can continue to follow the conversation as I am already hard of hearing and now you want to make this old dog learn new words or old words I never knew existed? Are you all highly educated or what? Come back down to my quirky level......

Just think - THIS is what you want to subject your daughter to? Consider it a good warning that your matchmaking is misguided and you should find a better target to shoot down for your daughter.

 

[cinder]

Not all the way like your Dad otherwise you'd be married.

This does show the limitations of language because if I were married like my dad would that mean that I was in a traditional marriage married to a man or would that mean that I was married to a woman since my dad is married to a woman. Now you have me all confused about whether getting married (and to what kind of person) would actually make me more or less like my dad. Guess I better just stay single, that seems to be working pretty well.

 

[JesusLives]

This does show the limitations of language because if I were married like my dad would that mean that I was in a traditional marriage married to a man or would that mean that I was married to a woman since my dad is married to a woman. Now you have me all confused about whether getting married (and to what kind of person) would actually make me more or less like my dad. Guess I better just stay single, that seems to be working pretty well.

By all means do whatever floats your boat. Sorry you're confused.

 

[JesusLives]

Just think - THIS is what you want to subject your daughter to? Consider it a good warning that your matchmaking is misguided and you should find a better target to shoot down for your daughter.

Well that escalated quickly... I think I prefer the flame thrower....Not to worry all the singles who love it that way keep rowing you boats it's a relaxing thing to do out on the water all alone.

 

[IFOLLOWHIM]

Quirks:
can't stand the toothpaste just squeezed anywhere.....must work from the end up!
bath cloths must be hung over the tub or hamper to dry.......not left wet and soapy in tub!
I love dishwashing by hand ....but I'm Not hunting them down!
I can go without sleep for days which makes me silly.
I like people,but when I say no.......i mean it.......not sure if that's a quirk

Now if someone had the same ones as I ,it would be doable!

I'm fairly easygoing,don't like nitpicking and enjoy fellowship and laughter!

I may be expressing in wrong thread....idk 😊

 

[Princesse]

How much of your quirkiness is set in stone? How much could be changed? How much could be changed, but you just don't want to change it?

I’ll always prefer French food, fashion and accessories. I appreciate others but my bias will never change.

I’ll always be a cultural aficionado and give my time and patronage to positive entertainment. But I wouldn’t require my partner to adopt a similar attitude.

I draw the line at excessive frugality, couponing, and non organic food. I have an eco-friendly diet and lifestyle.

I expect him to have a vibrant life with shared and individual interests and the company of friends and loved ones. I have no qualms with entertaining or getaways with his friends, family, and those he takes alone.

I don’t believe in super women or men. If his work is demanding I’ll dissuade him from taking on things at home. Downtime is must and his ROI is set. I’d hire help or take them on myself if that’s best.

My companions are a lot like me; overachievers who require balance and rest. I would never clip his wings but making him comfortable is a must.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm just a silly cat who wants food.

 

[Deade]

Quirks:
can't stand the toothpaste just squeezed anywhere.....must work from the end up!
bath cloths must be hung over the tub or hamper to dry.......not left wet and soapy in tub!
I love dishwashing by hand ....but I'm Not hunting them down!
I can go without sleep for days which makes me silly.
I like people,but when I say no.......i mean it.......not sure if that's a quirk

Now if someone had the same ones as I ,it would be doable!

I'm fairly easygoing,don't like nitpicking and enjoy fellowship and laughter!

I may be expressing in wrong thread....idk 😊

I am with you on all this IFOLLOWHIM. I would add throwing dishes into the sink with garbage on them. Which I deal with daily, lately.

I am old and somewhat eccentric in some ways, but I think that is allowed. Some eccentricities can be charming and practical, like switching off the lights when leaving a room/area.

The bottom line is: If we are loving beings--we will be flexible where we need to be. Never be a doormat and let others dictate unreasonable conditions. If you are right on a matter, speak up. Sometimes we older folk will get walked on if we allow it.