need prayer for marriage

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Stephen

Guest
#1
#1
Hello Everyone,

I need prayer for my marriage. We have been married 12 years and have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. We became Christians before marriage and for all of our marriage had a church home and attended regularly and fellowshipped with believers.

Well after our second son was born in 2008 my wifer suffered severe post pardum. I left a good job/career to stay with her and with our sons. It's been tough. The last year I have gone back to work part time and back to school part time so the boys have began attending pre-school. To my fault we quit going to church in the last year as I used the time to study or just do things around the house.

On March 26 my wife told me she's not sure she want to be married to me any longer. Her reason is that over the years she feels I have said unkind things to her and made her feel like I didn't love her. I assured that I did and that I would be willing to go to couneling. We have never had an issue where one of us considered divorce or even walked out for a night. As the days have gone bye since then she still says she doesn't want to be married and knows that God's word teaches us not to divorce unless for adultery. But she said even if Jesus himself were in front of her and told her that it was not his will for her to divorce she would do it anyway! She says she is still a believer.

She did go to a counceling session last Sunday with an assitant pastor from our children's preschool. Where she repeated the same idea.

Please pray for us. I love my wife and want to remain married..
 
E

EverlastingChange

Guest
#2
#2
I have prayed for you :).
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you Everlasting Change. I believe in the power of prayer.
 
A

Agape

Guest
#4
#4
I'l pray for your family. I think I can relate I am also a wife. If you guys can worship and pray together that will b good. Don't forget communication s very very important. And I want u to do this: win ur wife's heart again by giving her flowers, gifts, lots of hugs and just make her feel important and loved. SHOW SHOW IT SHOW IT SHOW IT, don't just say it. I hope u guys can pass this trial.

God bless!
 
E

EverlastingChange

Guest
#5
#5
So do I. Stay strong and diligent in prayer with him. The Lord is mighty to save and never disappoints. There's some great people on here who will pray with you too. Take care, and keep us updated.



Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. - Psalm 55:22
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#6
#6
I appreciate your prayers and counsel. One issue I struggle with and so have some others who know us or who I have confided in is that I have done and still do things to show her my love. I gas her car, hold the door open for her, surprise her with unexpected gifts, do things around the house, in fact, I do most of the house work.

She has agreed to go to church with me again this Sunday. But she says if we go to council it's only for us to be better people for our future mates.

Last night she asked me if women go through mid-life crisis and if I think its possible she is. I have noticed in the last two weeks that she appears to have lost weight. So, I asked her if she is having diarrhea again because twice in the past 6 years she went through upper and lower GI's for bowel issues to be diagnosed with stress. Both times she received medication for stress and eventually went off of the meds after 6-9 months.

I definately have not suggested to her she is having some mental issues but in the last 3 weeks was stressing over a job offer, loss of grandmother, her dad is in the middle of divorce, and family issues on her side.

Stephen
 
U

unclefester

Guest
#7
#7
Stephen said:
I appreciate your prayers and counsel. One issue I struggle with and so have some others who know us or who I have confided in is that I have done and still do things to show her my love. I gas her car, hold the door open for her, surprise her with unexpected gifts, do things around the house, in fact, I do most of the house work.

She has agreed to go to church with me again this Sunday. But she says if we go to council it's only for us to be better people for our future mates.

Last night she asked me if women go through mid-life crisis and if I think its possible she is. I have noticed in the last two weeks that she appears to have lost weight. So, I asked her if she is having diarrhea again because twice in the past 6 years she went through upper and lower GI's for bowel issues to be diagnosed with stress. Both times she received medication for stress and eventually went off of the meds after 6-9 months.

I definately have not suggested to her she is having some mental issues but in the last 3 weeks was stressing over a job offer, loss of grandmother, her dad is in the middle of divorce, and family issues on her side.

Stephen
Click to expand...
Reading your prayer request touched my heart Stephen. And this second post leads me to believe that she might be feeling that her whole world has fallen apart. As if she's given up and is looking to run and hide from it all.....perhaps even depression. All I can suggest to you is to ask God for great patience and perseverance during this time. And continue to love her. My heart goes out to you for I'm certain this is tearing you apart. Lean on Christ and as much as is possible, try to rest in Him. To " rest " in Him is to have faith. I'm praying for you as I type here and will remember to keep you in my prayers. I have seen God bring victory where none thought it possible. This is my prayer for you as well.
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#8
#8
Unclefester, You are so right. God's peace is the only thing keeping me together. I am praying alot and asking him to speak to my wife and to keep our boys safe. One bit of good news is that she is willing to meet Monday with the same Dr. who treated her for her postpatum back in 2009.

When I begin to feel alone and hopeless I reach out to my Savior and He is there.
 
J

jelomy44

Guest
#9
#9
I will keep your family in my prayers.
 
C

choZn

Guest
#10
#10
It is possible that your wife is in need of something deeper than just counseling. Postpartum depression can linger and deepen if not approached and treated in a successful manner. Her GYN could evaluate this with just one visit.The same dr. can also evaluate if there is a hormonal imbalance causing a disturbance of emotions. The only catch is that your wife would have to be willing to cooperate and to agree that there is a problem to begin with.

Getting back in church and moving closer to God again are steps in the right direction. I can tell you from experience that during a particular rocky time in my own marriage when my heart hardened toward my husband, he won me over SLOWLY in one big way: He humbled himself before God at my feet on a regular basis and prayed his heart out within my hearing. He begged, pleaded, asked for guidance, committed himself to God and our marriage, gave praise for the smallest victories, and he did this on a persistently, consistent basis. He backed it up, too. At first, I was very cold and unmoved. Then I began to pray quietly as he prayed aloud.Eventually, we began to take turns. That was 4 1/2 years ago.

Prayer changes things. I'm a firm believer in it. Annoint your wife and marriage with the determination of sincere prayer then back it up with your actions,not just to your wife, but foremost to God. Do this and He has promised He will not foresake you. I am praying for you, for your wife, your marriage, your children, and asking that God intervene and bless this marriage to a higher standing and committment; not only to each other, but above all, to Him.
 
U

unclefester

Guest
#11
#11
Stephen said:
One bit of good news is that she is willing to meet Monday with the same Dr. who treated her for her postpatum back in 2009.

When I begin to feel alone and hopeless I reach out to my Savior and He is there.
Click to expand...
This is encouraging news Stephen. We all stand with you in prayer :)
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#12
#12
chozn, Thank you for the prayers and counsel. I am in agreement with you and commited to display my Love and Dedication to my wife. She means the world to me. It is difficult as I feel walked on at times but...... until she is no longer my wife she is my wife. I took an oath before God and man and will see it through.
 
A

Agape

Guest
#13
#13
Let us continue to pray for them. God answers prayers. Remember the parable of the persistent widow? God has a purpose.

"Come near to God and he will come near to you. " James 4:8

God bless!
 
E

enduretotheend

Guest
#14
#14
I have prayed for your marriage also.
 
K

KezE

Guest
#15
#15
"What is impossible with men is possible with God" Luke 18:27
"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" James 5:16
"Is the Lord's arm too short?" Numbers 11:23

God is able! He specializes in impossible situations, He is a miracle working God. Your hope is in Him
 
M

mdw1369

Guest
#16
#16
Keep up the Faith you have turned to the right place. I am suffering the same situation but we can not control what our spouses do. I said unkind things to my wife also. Do not ask her to forgive you. Let her go and pray for her. For she is not yours she is a child of God just like us. that was and is a hard thing for me to remember so I pray all the time that God removes the worry of where my marriage may end up. I pray for my wife constantly and I know that God is knocking on her door. The tough times my marriage is going through is 100% my fault and I have accepted the blame. The best advice i can give is to turn everything over to God and trust your wife. Have faith in the Lord and and stay in the word. Lord I pray for this man to be strong and to turn his own free will over to you. I pray for the suit of armor to be placed on him. Lord I pray that you will lift the worry from his heart and mind for you tell us not to worry as you will provide. Lord I pray that you will touch his wife's heart and give her a peace. I pray that she will seek the counseling that you want her to hear and that she will turn to you Lord. I pray that you will lift what ever pain she is feeling from her. Lord I pray that you will rejoin this couple and that they will renew their vows to you and each other. Lord I ask these things in Christ's name. Amen
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#17
#17
Thank you all for your prayers and counsel. On Tuesday I apologized to my wife for things I have said or done that have hurt her feelings, embarrased her over the years, and/or made her feel I didn't love her. After the apology I said nothing more and she gave me a hug and we went on with our day.

I have given the situation up to God and will keep you posted on how the situation progresses.
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#18
#18
My wife seemed very down this morning so I showed her my concern by hugging her and she asked me if I am taking her serious about wanting out. So, I said "Why do you ask that?" She responded by reminding me of what I said when she first told me she wanted out. Which was that I was not goint to just sit down and sign the divorce docs without giving us a chance.

I can't help but to wonder if me going through my day and just loving her and the boys and not bringing this up is giving the impression I'm not taking her serious. So, I explained to her that I love her and I want her to continue to be my wife. I want us to grow closer to God, grow closer together as a couple and as a family. I believe we have an amazing opportunity with God's help to have an amazing God focused family. And that I am going after with every bit of power God gives me.

She won't even make the statement that she is even willing to consider reconciliation....though something tells me she is beginning to rethink her position.

I pray I'm not fooling myself.
 
M

mdw1369

Guest
#19
#19
Lord I praise you for touching this woman's heart. I feel she is considering staying with her husband and keeping her family intact. Lord I ask that you will be the head of this marriage you will guide them. Lord I pray that this man will trust his wife and hold her up to you. In Christ Name I pray
 
D

dmdave17

Guest
#20
#20
Stephen said:
My wife seemed very down this morning so I showed her my concern by hugging her and she asked me if I am taking her serious about wanting out. So, I said "Why do you ask that?" She responded by reminding me of what I said when she first told me she wanted out. Which was that I was not goint to just sit down and sign the divorce docs without giving us a chance.

I can't help but to wonder if me going through my day and just loving her and the boys and not bringing this up is giving the impression I'm not taking her serious. So, I explained to her that I love her and I want her to continue to be my wife. I want us to grow closer to God, grow closer together as a couple and as a family. I believe we have an amazing opportunity with God's help to have an amazing God focused family. And that I am going after with every bit of power God gives me.

She won't even make the statement that she is even willing to consider reconciliation....though something tells me she is beginning to rethink her position.

I pray I'm not fooling myself.
Click to expand...
Stephen,

I am not an expert in marriage, but I do have a lot of experience; unfortunately not all with the same woman. (I was married twice before I was saved, but 30 years and counting now.)

It sounds to me like your wife does have some doubts and is looking for you to make her decision easy on her. Has she actually made any move to leave? Has she suggested (or demanded) that you move out? It seems like she is unable to "pull the trigger" on separation. but wants you to take the lead.

I would urge you not to give in. As many people have suggested, treat her with kindness and respect. Show her that you still love her deeply. Pray for her, and for your marriage. But, if and when she brings up the subject of separation, tell her (lovingly) that that is her objective, and she must take care of that herself.

God be with you and bless your whole family.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.