My 19 year old doesn't drive, nor does she want to learn. She has a good job about 10 miles from home, and she depends on her father to drive her to and from work. I believe that her sticking point is taking an online drug course. She is afraid that she won't be able to pass it.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to get her to get her driver's license?
Hi Billy,
Have the parents tried just plain old tough love?
What you're saying is very relatable -- I have some friends and family members who are saying that their teenagers, and even college-aged kids, have no interest in driving.
But the other thing I've noticed is that the parents do everything for them with no expectations or cut-off dates, so there's no absolutely no motivation in the first place. Why take on the scary responsibility and expense of driving if the parents are willing to do it for them? Why pay money for things like driver's ed, gas, insurance, etc., when they can let Mom and Dad pay for it and taxi them around while they keep their money to spend on the things they actually want?
I think it's a lot different now as well because when I was growing up, the internet didn't really take off until college, so back "in my day" (go ahead and laugh, lol), driving meant freedom, getting out of the house, and being able to see your friends. Nowadays, young people can just stay at home and talk with their friends nonstop or play games with them on their phones or computer.
As I was growing up, my parents pushed me to take on various jobs from a young age (babysitting, paper route, etc.) and pretty much dictated that part of the money was to be saved for a car and insurance. When I was 15, my Dad announced to me that he was taking me to the local fast food places so that I could get another job, and that they would match what I saved for a car and would pay half of my insurance. My parents laid down the law that they would no longer be carting me around once I had a license, so at 16, I had a car and all the responsibilities, but really, the only places I ever went was school and work. I also had a curfew, and had to check in with my folks as to where I wanted to go, why, and what time I would be back for as long as I was living in their house.
Maybe another thing holding your granddaughter back is the cost? When I got my license, driver's ed was free at the public school, even though I went to a local Christian school. I hear now that it's about $500 to take the course, with additional fees to take your license (I would imagine it varies from state to state?)
But if your granddaughter has a good job, hopefully saving up to get a license shouldn't be the problem. If she doesn't see a license as a priority, perhaps she sees no need to spend money on it (and hopefully, her parents will require her to pay for at least part, if not all of it.)
My suggestion would be to give her a deadline of when she will have to drive herself to work and her father will stop doing so for her, even if it's just her driving the car (and not actually owning or purchasing one.)
Keep us posted on how things go. Maybe they'll have to handle it differently but I'd be interested in hearing what happens.
I have a friend whose child was the same way, refusing to drive until well into adulthood when a change in living situations allowed for no other choice.
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