Doomed to be single?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
cv5 and others are doing a great job debating you, so I'm just going to flatly state my position.

I'm a Pentecostal minister, I have read the Bible through multiple times, and the Bible does not say anywhere anything close to what you claim it is saying.

Personally I am exactly where I need to be right now. If I were married I would not be able to do what I am doing, and what I am doing is a service that is needed.

My current situation is temporary, as all life is temporary. It may change next month... or it may not change for ten years. But I'm remaining here until it does change. When it changes, I might need a wife or I might need to remain single. But that's God's call, not yours.

While the Bible doesn't say anything about a Christian duty to marry, it does say a LOT about being content where you are.

You can look down on single people if you want, but we're not buying your sanctimonious junk and your Bible verses ripped out of context and twisted to fit what you want to believe. Go peddle your guilt trip somewhere else.
What I want to do is help other singles who have been told their lot is the best there is when it isn't. Rampant singleness is hurting churches and society. People like you bullying them into remaining single is disgusting. I heard people muddying clear scripture for decades, I don't know what their agenda was but they weren't helping by abusing the Bible's clear teaching on singleness. Single people do not need to be told they have it best. Marriage is the grace of life, not being single. I want the best for singles and that is to get out there and look for a wife or do whatever they need to do to be found of a husband.

I'ts proper to be content, but even that is misused to make singles feel guilty about wanting something better.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
You nailed it brother. Completely agree we should be contented exactly where you are and should things change due to God's calling, allow the Holy Spirit to inform you. And for pity's sake never allow yourself to be coerced into a marriage due to family pressure social pressure and certainly not Church pressure.
Exactly right. It is the Bible that is to put pressure on to get married, or to remain single if having the gift to do that. The world will tell you go your own way, do your own thing, but the Bible guides as to seek a spouse or not, and makes the reasons clear.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
Truth be told I am defending the single/virginity case because of the sheer joy of it. The joy of singleness that is, as in unmarried with no children. In fact I can tell you with complete honesty that I experienced long multi-year duration bouts of such scintillating ebullient cheerfulness and unabashed exultation and rejoicing, I almost felt sorry for other people. I kid you not.

Not having anything and not worrying about anything is a great deal of fun, let me tell you.
You should enjoy being single because you can devote your entire life to God's work, like Paul, not because of other things. Are you a missionary? People with this gift don't just avoid marriage, they burn out for the kingdom.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,208
113
True. But not to worry, should your status change, I'm seeing a likely successor who will defend the single/virginity cause with just as much vim, vigour and vitality as yourself.
Lots of confused individuals use out of context verses to peddle this silly man made idea that there is more virtue in being married under God than remaining single for Him.

They miss the whole point of marriage and the freedom of Christ.

It is good when people shoot down such nonsense as Paul did.



Personally I only read some what what was said but it seems Bob is falely accusing Lynx of bullying people to stay single.


People like you bullying them into remaining single is disgusting.

This is a false accusation.


But I also have only seen from Bob a general idea of "for some people... being single is not their calling and they ought to get married for their walks sake as well as for their own happiness"


If that's his position I think I'm in agreement with both biblically.

(though I am in major disagreement with bobs accusation)
 
S

Scribe

Guest
What I want to do is help other singles who have been told their lot is the best there is when it isn't. Rampant singleness is hurting churches and society. People like you bullying them into remaining single is disgusting. I heard people muddying clear scripture for decades, I don't know what their agenda was but they weren't helping by abusing the Bible's clear teaching on singleness. Single people do not need to be told they have it best. Marriage is the grace of life, not being single. I want the best for singles and that is to get out there and look for a wife or do whatever they need to do to be found of a husband.

I'ts proper to be content, but even that is misused to make singles feel guilty about wanting something better.
I guess we all have different life experiences to draw from. My experience in meeting single people in churches is that most of them are feeling very blue about not having a potential mate or being married. The pastors are constantly having to encourage them to stop thinking that they are "not good enough" or missing out on the most important thing in life. They have a false view of the Joys they are missing. Yes it's great, but it's not THAT great. The grass is always greener on the other side syndrome.
The women have this anxiety much more than men, the idea of being alone is the end of the world to them. I rarely meet anyone who is not actively searching for a mate and putting up with way too much negative drama, overlooking too many faults just to have a boyfriend. It is a terrible problem in the church.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
You should enjoy being single because you can devote your entire life to God's work, like Paul, not because of other things. Are you a missionary? People with this gift don't just avoid marriage, they burn out for the kingdom.
I agree with that. Paul was not talking about the joy of doing your own thing. LOL
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
I guess we all have different life experiences to draw from. My experience in meeting single people in churches is that most of them are feeling very blue about not having a potential mate or being married. The pastors are constantly having to encourage them to stop thinking that they are "not good enough" or missing out on the most important thing in life. They have a false view of the Joys they are missing. Yes it's great, but it's not THAT great. The grass is always greener on the other side syndrome.
The women have this anxiety much more than men, the idea of being alone is the end of the world to them. I rarely meet anyone who is not actively searching for a mate and putting up with way too much negative drama, overlooking too many faults just to have a boyfriend. It is a terrible problem in the church.
The women are also designed for having children and feel this need strongly, at least they used to. To get married or not comes down to one's ability avoid fornication. If that isn't a problem, then go full bore for the kingdom like Paul, like Jesus. I've only known one person in my like who admitted they had that gift, and they were a local missionary. If sexual temptation is too strong, then they need to marry. This isn't a competition between singleness and marriage for a trophy. I needed to marry, now I get to learn how to love a woman. Some, few, don't need to marry, so they are free to sell out for the kingdom and work long and hard for the kingdom. Marriage is the easier life compared to that. Singleness should be for a rare lifestyle, not for ease or avoiding responsibilites in marriage.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,001
8,368
113
Oh are you a candidate for the 144,000 male virgin saints also? Many will be called, few will be chosen for the elite special forces of the Lord God!

Lol. I am a gentile not an Israelite, of whom constitute the 144,000.
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
Lol. I am a gentile not an Israelite, of whom constitute the 144,000.
Well abandon the demonic gods of the Gentiles and join Israel by believing in the God of Judah.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,001
8,368
113
I agree with that. Paul was not talking about the joy of doing your own thing. LOL
I did fail to mention that in fact my great joy was always the joy of the Lord? Some days I would simply drive my car and listen to sermons eight hours straight. Then several hours of old time hymns, and hour after hour after hour of the great classical hymns of Mozart and Bach. I would go fishing and praise the Lord, biking praise the Lord, go to the gym and praise the Lord,....
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
985
1,019
93
Geesh. Lots of opinions and "interpretations" in this thread.
It makes me so grateful that when I have to stand before the Lord it's just going to be Him and I.
He knows every detail of my life. Every hurt. Every calling.
Every longing.
I'm almost certain when we are together and he is loving on me and speaking with me about my life here on earth, He's not going to ask me why I didn't get out there and look for a spouse, or I didnt you go to that church down the road where there were a couple of single men my age.

God knows the desires of my heart. I believe that if they are aligned with HIS will for me then he will fulfill those desires.

Gods word tells me seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and THEN all these things shall be added unto me.

I dont think theres anything wrong with being open to a relationship that may lead to marriage.
I dont think we need to make it our sole purpose or job to find that person though.
I think we need to seek the Lord while He may be found.
To seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God.
All things that can be done while we are single or married. ❤
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,001
8,368
113
Well abandon the demonic gods of the Gentiles and join Israel by believing in the God of Judah.
I don't know if that's an insult or slap in the face but I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. So you are accusing me of what exactly?
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,001
8,368
113
Geesh. Lots of opinions and "interpretations" in this thread.
It makes me so grateful that when I have to stand before the Lord it's just going to be Him and I.
He knows every detail of my life. Every hurt. Every calling.
Every longing.
I'm almost certain when we are together and he is loving on me and speaking with me about my life here on earth, He's not going to ask me why I didn't get out there and look for a spouse, or I didnt you go to that church down the road where there were a couple of single men my age.

God knows the desires of my heart. I believe that if they are aligned with HIS will for me then he will fulfill those desires.

Gods word tells me seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and THEN all these things shall be added unto me.

I dont think theres anything wrong with being open to a relationship that may lead to marriage.
I dont think we need to make it our sole purpose or job to find that person though.
I think we need to seek the Lord while He may be found.
To seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God.
All things that can be done while we are single or married. ❤
Amen sister amen!
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
I don't know if that's an insult or slap in the face but I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. So you are accusing me of what exactly?
I'm not accusing you of anything you said you are a Gentile and not an Israelite. You can become an Israelite by abandoning the demonic gods of the Gentiles, the races that are not the Israelites, and by believing in the God of Israel and his sons like Judah whom also believed in the true God. Darkly to the converse even the seed of Jacob can be broken off the family tree by their unbelief in God and corruption by the Gentiles and their demonic gods of their slut worthless parents, and oh so many have.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
I've never known of anyone to go around boasting that they are virgins or happily single. It's since joining CC that I've seen it.

This is not to say if someone is single they should be miserable. I just think we are to wait patiently. And if it never happens, well God is still good. In everything give thanks. Better to be single than go against God's will, get married because you can't learn to accept your single status, and then suffer dearly because of poor decision.

No one should force someone to get marry if that's not what they want. But if someone chooses to be single for the rest of their life, I did not know at all that that should be the norm, or something to boast about.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,208
113
I'm not accusing you of anything you said you are a Gentile and not an Israelite. You can become an Israelite by abandoning the demonic gods of the Gentiles, the races that are not the Israelites, and by believing in the God of Israel and his sons like Judah whom also believed in the true God. Darkly to the converse even the seed of Jacob can be broken off the family tree by their unbelief in God and corruption by the Gentiles and their demonic gods of their slut worthless parents, and oh so many have.
What are you? A jehova witness or mormon or somethin?
 
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
What are you? A jehova witness or mormon or somethin?
Absolutely not, those are demonic cults, may the 144,000 saints keep their charge and pour for them the wine of God that makes Babylon's kids full of fear and fury to be drunk and stumble before the sword of the Lord that has been loosed from its scabbard to fly across the face of the earth and find them.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
18
I did fail to mention that in fact my great joy was always the joy of the Lord? Some days I would simply drive my car and listen to sermons eight hours straight. Then several hours of old time hymns, and hour after hour after hour of the great classical hymns of Mozart and Bach. I would go fishing and praise the Lord, biking praise the Lord, go to the gym and praise the Lord,....
The life of Jesus and Paul and who knows, maybe John the Baptist don't sound like modern day single life. Having the gift of singleness isn't an easy life, there will be danger involved with such emphasis on the kingdom and winning souls. The gift is not for a life of ease. Peter even had a wife but willingly lost his life for the kingdom. How much more someone who doesn't need marriage? What am I missing?
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,001
8,368
113
I'm not accusing you of anything you said you are a Gentile and not an Israelite. You can become an Israelite by abandoning the demonic gods of the Gentiles, the races that are not the Israelites, and by believing in the God of Israel and his sons like Judah whom also believed in the true God. Darkly to the converse even the seed of Jacob can be broken off the family tree by their unbelief in God and corruption by the Gentiles and their demonic gods of their slut worthless parents, and oh so many have.
Ha ha ha. Sorry, nobody "becomes" an ethnic Israelite. You are born an ethnic Israelite.
I was born a gentile and I was twice born as a Christian. An ethnic Israelite can be twice born as a Christian also. But a gentile can never ever becoming ethnic Israelite.