Why don't people reply to posts?

[GentlemanBobIII]

I know this shouldn't bother me, but why do people read a post and say nothing? Was it so boring and of no value that it didn't merit a response? Did it offend the reader but they are too nice to say anything? Look folks, these forums are meant to serve as a basis to get to know each other, to share thoughts and ideas to encourage one another, but above all else to COMMUNICATE. Communication is difficult under the best of circumstances, but when such communication is one sided it's impossible.It ceases to be communication and exists as NARRATION. People pour out thier hearts and feelings maybe 30 something or 40 something people read it but the replies stay at 0. Why would I or anyone else share something unless they wanted feedback? I myself have posts that I wrote and I thought they were pretty good but NO ONE had anything to say after reading them. I try to reply to all the posts I read even if only to say good job, I relate to you, or if a poem or story, well written. It only takes a moment to type a line or two. Maybe its just ME that folks don't want to reply to I don't know. I am a writer, and while my moments of inspiration are few and far between I still want to know how my post made you FEEL, how it affected you, if at all, when you read it. Lets leave me out of this for the moment though. Let me ask you a question, if you were face to face and someone shared from thier heart, how many of you would just ignore them or stare blankly at them saying NOTHING? A person who shares something from the heart with us are giving us a gift whether we realize it or not. Don't reward that gift with silence, at best it is incosiderate at worst it is rude and arrogant. I know we can't reply to ALL posts or maybe we are just browsing and/or don't have time to reply just then. If the latter is the case then make it a point to go back and reply when you do have time. Now I know not all of you are like that, and there will always be lurkers, I realize that. However, we are family, and blood family, the BLOOD OF CHRIST. And we shouldn't ignore family. EDIFY ONE ANOTHER. -Bob

 

[KnightdeKhristos]

Well, the reason why I usually don't post is b/c I have nothing to write; it's not because I'm trying to be rude. Like in real life, I won't respond to something if I have no opinion on it. I also wont post if I believe it will instigate and cause a fight.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm just here to get on people's nerves, so be glad if I don't reply

 

[Jullianna]

If I don't respond to a post, it's usually for one of these reasons:

1. It's a topic I can't relate to;
2. I know that any truthful response on my part would be inflamatory, not edifying;
3. A post is too long and covers a multitude of different things rather than focusing on one topic;
4. There are no paragraphs, punctuation, etc. and I can't make out what the writer is trying to say; and/or
5. There are more personal attacks than substance in the post (though I have rarely encountered this in the singles threads).

 

[Jullianna]

I'm just here to get on people's nerves, so be glad if I don't reply

but you do it in such a lovable way

 

[allforfun]

Yeah what Jullianna said. Only that makes me sound like a stalker.

If I don't have anything to offer, why throw in that I don't have anything to offer? Not everything I am going to read is going to relate to me.

If it is a post that is meant to instigate a flame, I generally stay away. Not just here, but anywhere.

With that being said, I haven't seen any of your threads that seem so unsavory that I wouldn't want to reply.

 

[lightbliss]

I agree with Julliana. And sometimes, someone has already posted what I would have posted otherwise (often in a more efficient manner). Case in point.

 

[Nelle89]

I agree with the ladies above, and while I haven't spent much time on the forums (I've just discovered them, and have been enjoying them), I find that there are very few that I'm willing to comment on, for some of the same reasons. I feel silly saying "yeah, what they said," sometimes I get so distracted by the poor spelling and grammar that I can't even focus on the content, and sometimes I'm just taking time to process before I respond. As you said, some of these people are pouring their hearts out, and it would distress me if I did so and then someone treated me flippantly, so I figure it's better not to say anything, but just say a prayer for them, rather than risk hurting them with my response. All that being said, don't ever stop writing, because I for one love reading what people have to say, and much of it has touched me deeply, though I couldn't really add anything in a response. It would make me very sad to have people stop posting, so forgive me for stalking, but keep up the good work!

 

[iraasuup]

A lot of times I don't reply. There are many times I might just view threads cos the title sounds interesting, or because it's my job to scan forums and make sure everything is flowing along okay.

But here are the main reasons, I (personally) may not respond to a thread:

1. I can't relate to the topic- or don't have any advice of relevance to offer (particularly in threads where people are genuinely seeking advice from others who may have had similar experiences).
2. The topic is just beyond my realm of understanding
3. It's a topic I have seen go around in circles umpteen-thousand times before, and therefore I choose to simply refrain for my own sanity.
4. It's simply a thread I find boring- yes I admit, sometimes that happens. What appeals to one doesn't always appeal to everyone. So, for that reason I may not reply.
5. I may be just on the site quickly whilst at work responding to chat-mail/moderator stuff, and briefly view a thread which may have been highlighted and not respond because, well, I'm at work.


So, don't be offended...not everyone responds to everything. I'd rather people take the time to respond because they want to, and offer practical advice, than flippant reponses which indicate my post is dumb. Wouldn't you?

 

[seoulsearch]

I would have to say that this, for me personally, is a good example of why I only answer some of the threads--it's usually because many other fine, intelligent, and well-spoken posters have already stated what I wanted to say.

The other most common reason for me is time--I have very limited time here and tend to only invest in threads that catch my interest, are well-written, do not shout at the readers, have not turned into a boxing match, and are going along at an interesting pace.

I tend to stay away from any threads that are "preachy", have erupted into fights, or are written by someone who feels they are "owed" something (I am NOT saying that you sound like we owe you anything, GentlemanBob, I'm just saying this as an example.) I tend to not reply to threads in which one person, as an example, states what everyone else has done wrong or done to them but never tells us their part in the equation.

For instance, some people enjoy ranting and raving the word of God and then seem to demand that they somehow deserve a pat on the back for it--they tell others to repent of their own sins and follow the Lord's direction without ever mentioning their own sins, struggles, or shortcomings. No, this doesn't mean God's Word is wrong, but, as my pastors have said, sometimes a person might be speaking the Word, but it may be at the wrong time or in the wrong way for a particular person. If I don't feel a thread is speaking to where I'm at in life, I don't reply.

I understand what you're saying about talking to someone and it being communication, but sometimes communication, especially written, doesn't always warrant a response--it really depends. In real life, I have a co-worker who incessantly jabbers about the same things over and over--the birds woke her up yet again, it's going to rain, oohh, it's hot outside, the hamburger is drippy today, etc. She says these things over and over and over at any given time each day, and I've worked with her for years. There's no way to win with her (when you answer, she repeats the same question as if you never said anything at all) and no, she doesn't have any mental conditions--it's just how she chooses to "communicate". And there are times when some of the threads here seem to wind up in a similar condition.

None of us are ever obligated to answer what's posted--that's one of the conveniences of a forum like this--and I think it's also part of being a participant in such things as well--if you play dodgeball, sometimes you're going to get hit and it's going to hurt. Sometimes you're going to take a dive and even if you don't get hit, it's going to hurt. Likewise, if you write and post in the forums... sometimes people will hurt you with what they answer... and sometimes they'll hurt you simply by NOT answering... but it's all a part of the choice to participate, as with anything in life.

If nothing else, participating here has taught me a lot about communication, both good and bad, and that part of being a good communicator is to accept what happens gracefully, even if that happens to be no reply at all.

P.S. Just had a chance to read Ira's post... and I agree with her 100%.

 

[GentlemanBobIII]

Thanks for all the replies and feedback. The problem is partially self esteem on my part. I probably shouldn't have said anything. I am sorry and I ask your forgiveness if I was in any way rude or inconsiderate. I certainly never meant to "obligate" anyone to reply. Maybe I should just leave CC. Even negative feedback can be helpful if spoken in love. It hurts being the last one picked for teams and it hurts when it seems every other thread has at least one reply and mine has none. Those that have replied I really appreciated. I just figured the problem was me esp being new and all. Then I got to feeling that maybe others felt the same way. Apparently I was wrong, thats right ladies mark it in your calendars a man admitted he was wrong. Anyway I am sorry that I spoke such harsh words in this post. I realize this does not make it right, nor is it an excuse, however I truly did not mean any offense and I thank you for your replies and the insights. -Bob

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Sometimes i dont feel like replying to anything. Sometimes i just like to read the threads, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is no rule where you HAVE to reply to everything you read.

 

[seoulsearch]

If it's any consolation, Bob, it certainly isn't just you. I've been privileged to be a part of the CC community for two years and have written a few threads over that time--some are hits (receive replies), and some are definite misses, or else no one felt comfortable/wanted to answer.

It's all a part of the posting experience.

And, growing up, I was always one of the last to be picked for teams as well. I'm terrible at sports. Like you, I'm much better at writing. But that doesn't mean other people will always think so.

 

[zeroturbulence]

but you do it in such a lovable way

Thanks! I try.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I know this shouldn't bother me, but why do people read a post and say nothing? Was it so boring and of no value that it didn't merit a response? Did it offend the reader but they are too nice to say anything? Look folks, these forums are meant to serve as a basis to get to know each other, to share thoughts and ideas to encourage one another, but above all else to COMMUNICATE. Communication is difficult under the best of circumstances, but when such communication is one sided it's impossible.It ceases to be communication and exists as NARRATION. People pour out thier hearts and feelings maybe 30 something or 40 something people read it but the replies stay at 0. Why would I or anyone else share something unless they wanted feedback? I myself have posts that I wrote and I thought they were pretty good but NO ONE had anything to say after reading them. I try to reply to all the posts I read even if only to say good job, I relate to you, or if a poem or story, well written. It only takes a moment to type a line or two. Maybe its just ME that folks don't want to reply to I don't know. I am a writer, and while my moments of inspiration are few and far between I still want to know how my post made you FEEL, how it affected you, if at all, when you read it. Lets leave me out of this for the moment though. Let me ask you a question, if you were face to face and someone shared from thier heart, how many of you would just ignore them or stare blankly at them saying NOTHING? A person who shares something from the heart with us are giving us a gift whether we realize it or not. Don't reward that gift with silence, at best it is incosiderate at worst it is rude and arrogant. I know we can't reply to ALL posts or maybe we are just browsing and/or don't have time to reply just then. If the latter is the case then make it a point to go back and reply when you do have time. Now I know not all of you are like that, and there will always be lurkers, I realize that. However, we are family, and blood family, the BLOOD OF CHRIST. And we shouldn't ignore family. EDIFY ONE ANOTHER. -Bob

Wanna know the REAL reason? (motions with hand to come closer..)

[whispers in ear]: "because you don't have a good-looking mug like the one guy on here who's posts always get replied to, and replied to by women"

Do I have mug envy? not anymore! Now Jesus is my mug! Wait, that doesn't sound right.

 

[GreenNnice]

The Lord leads , that is my Favorite phrase. I don't say things because not led to or don't respond for any number of reasons, including a lot or reasons said here, like , as iraaasup, said,can be working and no time to respond , at least, no time to respond thoughtfully. And, like now, time for bed so can't even get to all

Please dont go gentleBob, we all love ya, man

 

[zeroturbulence]

Thanks for all the replies and feedback. The problem is partially self esteem on my part. I probably shouldn't have said anything. I am sorry and I ask your forgiveness if I was in any way rude or inconsiderate. I certainly never meant to "obligate" anyone to reply. Maybe I should just leave CC. Even negative feedback can be helpful if spoken in love. It hurts being the last one picked for teams and it hurts when it seems every other thread has at least one reply and mine has none. Those that have replied I really appreciated. I just figured the problem was me esp being new and all. Then I got to feeling that maybe others felt the same way. Apparently I was wrong, thats right ladies mark it in your calendars a man admitted he was wrong. Anyway I am sorry that I spoke such harsh words in this post. I realize this does not make it right, nor is it an excuse, however I truly did not mean any offense and I thank you for your replies and the insights. -Bob

Dont be so hard on yourself. I know exactly where you are coming from. When I first started posting here, hardly anyone ever replied to my posts. It was worse in the chat rooms. I know that I sometimes get caught up in replying to the people I feel I know on here and skip over everyone else. Its good that you made this thread so people will realize that there are some who we are not reaching out to enough in here. I'll make more of an effort to reach out to unfamiliar and new people.

 

[rainacorn]

I appreciate it when people who have nothing to add say nothing at all. There are quite a few threads on this forum when the original question was answered in the first post but that didn't really stop people from giving the same answer over and over and over in slightly different phrasing.

I'm glad you made THIS thread. It's nice to see that there are people who read responses and consider them before adding their own.

I suppose that's why opinion threads are more popular than question threads. Just my two cents lol

 

[Liamson]

Word! I agree with the Rainacorn.

That sex before marriage thread makes me want to.... punch.... kill..... RAGE!!!!!!!

Its just like 35 page of the same thing over and over again. *gouges eyeballs out*

 

[Jullianna]

A lot of times I don't reply. There are many times I might just view threads cos the title sounds interesting, or because it's my job to scan forums and make sure everything is flowing along okay.

But here are the main reasons, I (personally) may not respond to a thread:

1. I can't relate to the topic- or don't have any advice of relevance to offer (particularly in threads where people are genuinely seeking advice from others who may have had similar experiences).
2. The topic is just beyond my realm of understanding
3. It's a topic I have seen go around in circles umpteen-thousand times before, and therefore I choose to simply refrain for my own sanity.
4. It's simply a thread I find boring- yes I admit, sometimes that happens. What appeals to one doesn't always appeal to everyone. So, for that reason I may not reply.
5. I may be just on the site quickly whilst at work responding to chat-mail/moderator stuff, and briefly view a thread which may have been highlighted and not respond because, well, I'm at work.


So, don't be offended...not everyone responds to everything. I'd rather people take the time to respond because they want to, and offer practical advice, than flippant reponses which indicate my post is dumb. Wouldn't you?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!