Only dating one person your entire life and having them be your life partner

[Baptistrw]

Well, that may be true to an extent. But I don't think it's anyone's place other than that person to know if they can learn by going through it or not. Some people are adapt drivers from the get go. I, however, was not and had to learn the hard way. BUT I didn't have to get in huge crashes to know how to avoid them. My dad taught me to drive defensively. i did however have to deal with insurance by trial and error when I got on one crash very recently because I had never been told how. So, I'll definitely agree with you that some things you have to go through to learn, but not all of them. Everybody's different ya?

Yes indeed. Some people are very naive and think things are rainbows and butterflies in relationships, and they think it will be like a disney film where it ends happily ever after, and when conflict comes they are completely unprepared for it and do not know how to work through problems because they've never been placed in the situation where they have to adapt or even develop their own convictions and standards and expectations. That is the biggest advantage of having been through a few relationships, you know what hills to die on and what to let go, and you have expectations.

 

[imoss]

I wish I had met my husband before dating my first 5 bf... then again, he'd probably be where they are if I had as I have grown as a person through those failed relationships. I, however, did not have the Lord b4 meeting my husband... i believed in God and Jesus... but lived a life that was polar oposite to Gods will. shortly after meeting shawn I received the Lord. I thank God he was willing to be unequally yolked cause I have the 4 loves of my life because of it... The Lord, Shawn, & my two sons.

 

[Rigo]

Hello Baptistrw!
I hope you are not saying that you have some deeper knowledge, some enlightenment, outside of the word of God impossible to obtain unless you fail. I never said that being experienced in obedience was something theoretical, it’s not. You will have to go through trials, and in them it will be shown if you are obedient to word, if you are faithful to God. The Christian who is experienced in obedience has learned to hold on to the word through trials. Hebrews 5:8 (NKJ) “though He was a son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered” but Christ never failed God.

 

[Baptistrw]

Hello Baptistrw!
I hope you are not saying that you have some deeper knowledge, some enlightenment, outside of the word of God impossible to obtain unless you fail. I never said that being experienced in obedience was something theoretical, it’s not. You will have to go through trials, and in them it will be shown if you are obedient to word, if you are faithful to God. The Christian who is experienced in obedience has learned to hold on to the word through trials. Hebrews 5:8 (NKJ) “though He was a son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered” but Christ never failed God.

I'm not saying someone has to fail, all I am saying is experience through ''failure'' can be a good thing. When you have a kid the first time, you may make some mistakes because you're new, and when kid number two comes you will probably have learned a few things because you've gained experience and have developed methods and things and won't make the same mistakes.

 

[Johnoble]

O well if you aren't sure you're gonna marry him you better not date him!

Don't tell the little girl what she can or cannot do, you're not his guardian. If this is the guy she's gonna spend the next 60 or so years of her life, then she better spend some time with him and get to know him even with some privacy. I know many people here want the story of the well to be a replica of their lives. I'm taking about Issac, Jacob and Moses who just happened to find the right girl at the right time in the well, NO questions asked. But seriously, if I like a girl, and I just gonna go to her dad's house the same day and ask for her hand? That's absurd. (maybe she things I look like shrek)
Aren't there successful and Godly marriages that didn't follow the "dating one person your entire life and having them be your life partner" ?? Of course there are!!! there have been millions throughout history, including my parents.
So please open your mind a little bit and consider that it can be God's will that we meet and date more than one person before marriage. If God uses death, persecution, calamities, pain, happines,etc to shape a person's character, can't he use a simple movie night or painful breakup to prepare us for something as great as marriage? The answer for me is abvious.

 

[missballantyne]

let's truse..
it is good to learn from trial - I know the do's and don'ts and I definitely know how to identify an emotional abuser almost instantly, because of failure and hurt through past relationships - i don't believe i would understand as much as i do know have I not gone through my past experiences.
it is also good to learn simply by studying God's word and knowing His love and waiting for it - I grew up with very Godly parents who prayed for each other before they met and God let it happen. Also I've been taught obedience and wouldn't know unconditional love have I not experienced it by God.
There ARE people who pray about their spouses, and wait very patiently and God rewards them - those in the bible that were refered, as well as people today!
There are also those who have a stronger urge for relationship and fall into what they think to be love but turns out in heartbreak, and need that to learn real love.

Personally, it is SO beautiful to see so many opinions and so many different views on this topic... this is what makes God so amazing! How he created each one of us so unique that we would experience so many different trials and life experiences.. That we all have our own story. Also, that we all have a choice to follow it, a choice to go back on track when we offroad, and a choice to accept his unconditional love, forgiveness and mercy. No matter the path we choose!

 

[Kakashi]

Yes indeed. Some people are very naive and think things are rainbows and butterflies in relationships, and they think it will be like a disney film where it ends happily ever after, and when conflict comes they are completely unprepared for it and do not know how to work through problems because they've never been placed in the situation where they have to adapt or even develop their own convictions and standards and expectations. That is the biggest advantage of having been through a few relationships, you know what hills to die on and what to let go, and you have expectations.

And somne people who have never had a relationship have brains, like myself I'm 21 , but have never had a girlfriend, but i have friends. I know what love is. I know what conflict is. I think very deeply about putting myself in other people shoes. I know life isn't all rainbows and sunshine. I know that life is complicated, but when it comes to having a relationship with a woman, I'll be prepared because i have been patient and God has taught me so much in the meantime of my waiting.Things like caring for others before myself, being a servent, yet also taking the lead in some things rather than waiting for others to do it. These things are experience and I learned of them, but not al lwas through failure, a lot of it was through listening to God and letting Him pull at my heart


I guess I'm trying to say, let's not substitute how each individual person can act with generalities of whjat "everyone" has to do.

 

[Baptistrw]

Don't tell the little girl what she can or cannot do, you're not his guardian. If this is the guy she's gonna spend the next 60 or so years of her life, then she better spend some time with him and get to know him even with some privacy. I know many people here want the story of the well to be a replica of their lives. I'm taking about Issac, Jacob and Moses who just happened to find the right girl at the right time in the well, NO questions asked. But seriously, if I like a girl, and I just gonna go to her dad's house the same day and ask for her hand? That's absurd. (maybe she things I look like shrek)
Aren't there successful and Godly marriages that didn't follow the "dating one person your entire life and having them be your life partner" ?? Of course there are!!! there have been millions throughout history, including my parents.
So please open your mind a little bit and consider that it can be God's will that we meet and date more than one person before marriage. If God uses death, persecution, calamities, pain, happines,etc to shape a person's character, can't he use a simple movie night or painful breakup to prepare us for something as great as marriage? The answer for me is abvious.

What I told her was sarcasm btw... I agree with what you say at the close.

 

[Baptistrw]

And somne people who have never had a relationship have brains, like myself I'm 21 , but have never had a girlfriend, but i have friends. I know what love is. I know what conflict is. I think very deeply about putting myself in other people shoes. I know life isn't all rainbows and sunshine. I know that life is complicated, but when it comes to having a relationship with a woman, I'll be prepared because i have been patient and God has taught me so much in the meantime of my waiting.Things like caring for others before myself, being a servent, yet also taking the lead in some things rather than waiting for others to do it. These things are experience and I learned of them, but not al lwas through failure, a lot of it was through listening to God and letting Him pull at my heart


I guess I'm trying to say, let's not substitute how each individual person can act with generalities of whjat "everyone" has to do.

So what is love?

 

[Kakashi]

So what is love?

Love is patient,does not envy, kind , does not boast,isn't proud, it does not delight in evil but loves truth.

Love can also seem harsh, like a correction from a friend,but love puts others before its self. love is serving others. Loving is treating others as you do yourself. Above all, love is treating others as God has treated us. He love us not because we are lovable, but because it is his nature to do so. Sometimes we can all be harsh to each other, but love can disagree with peoples attitudes, and still love the person past that.

That's what I believe it to be.

 

[Sharp]

I think the important thing to realise is that everyone is different.

Some people seem to be ready for marriage by the time they have their first relationship, and are able to maintain a loving marriage, having only ever dated one person.

For me, if I hadn't have had the experience of previous relationships, there is absolutely no way that I would be anywhere near ready for marriage. Relationships teach you so many valuable things about love, things that I definitely didn't realise until I experienced them. I was naive enough to believe that love is all you need to make a relationship work, and that if you are in love, everything else falls into place. It doesn't. You need compatibility, trust, common beliefs/interests, etc.

I would agree that there is no substitute for experience, but some people are either blessed enough or fortunate enough or clever enough to not need experience to make the right relationship work, and good for them!

 

[Kakashi]

I think the important thing to realise is that everyone is different.

Some people seem to be ready for marriage by the time they have their first relationship, and are able to maintain a loving marriage, having only ever dated one person.

For me, if I hadn't have had the experience of previous relationships, there is absolutely no way that I would be anywhere near ready for marriage. Relationships teach you so many valuable things about love, things that I definitely didn't realise until I experienced them. I was naive enough to believe that love is all you need to make a relationship work, and that if you are in love, everything else falls into place. It doesn't. You need compatibility, trust, common beliefs/interests, etc.

I would agree that there is no substitute for experience, but some people are either blessed enough or fortunate enough or clever enough to not need experience to make the right relationship work, and good for them!

This, I agree with this! Truth and practicality, thank you!

 

[MahogonySnail]

Some people get saved after they have lived for awhile

"lived for a while", so a person before they are saved is really living, but after they are saved they are brought under dead religion hmmm.

 

[Baptistrw]

"lived for a while", so a person before they are saved is really living, but after they are saved they are brought under dead religion hmmm.

Lived as in existed. Not lived as in having a good time or whatever.

 

[Baptistrw]

I think the important thing to realise is that everyone is different.

Some people seem to be ready for marriage by the time they have their first relationship, and are able to maintain a loving marriage, having only ever dated one person.

For me, if I hadn't have had the experience of previous relationships, there is absolutely no way that I would be anywhere near ready for marriage. Relationships teach you so many valuable things about love, things that I definitely didn't realise until I experienced them. I was naive enough to believe that love is all you need to make a relationship work, and that if you are in love, everything else falls into place. It doesn't. You need compatibility, trust, common beliefs/interests, etc.

I would agree that there is no substitute for experience, but some people are either blessed enough or fortunate enough or clever enough to not need experience to make the right relationship work, and good for them!

Amen, good stuff.

 

[Kakashi]

Glad we came to an agreement about this! ^_^

 

[become_the_generation]

Woohooo that true love never fails!!! If you think about it, since God IS love, i love this!!! God is patient, God is kind, God does not envy...God never fails!!! Also, we are supposed to be love. Lets strive for this. Just replace the word love with your name...Nate is patient, Nate is kind...Nate never fails. We should strive for that. Yah i know, we are gonna fail. But that doesnt mean we shouldnt strive for out best. If we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, then we will not fail. Thats why when we feel God speaking to us about going to talk to people, we shouldnt doubt, because the Holy Spirit is love, and love never fails. even though we might not get the response we want, we never know whats going on in the supernatural. Sorry, just completely went off topic but whatever lol.

 

[ariannaaa]

hey emily congratulations on remaining so pure! what an accomplishment!
i dont think that its unreasonable for you to want that in a man, it is normal to expect the same amount that you're willing to give.

and i know you said that if God has different plans then thats ok with you, i just hope that if that is the case you aren't disappointed!
because God can do wonderful things with men and women who have come from hazy pasts, and they are completely restored in Christ.

Look at Paul! Wouldn't you like a man like Paul?! haha except if someone asked me "would you ever date a former murderer?" initially id probably say no way jose! lol. just saying im sure God has someone who will make you very happy, forever-single or not!

 

[jaylynn83]

Originally Posted by Sharp

I think the important thing to realise is that everyone is different.

Some people seem to be ready for marriage by the time they have their first relationship, and are able to maintain a loving marriage, having only ever dated one person.

For me, if I hadn't have had the experience of previous relationships, there is absolutely no way that I would be anywhere near ready for marriage. Relationships teach you so many valuable things about love, things that I definitely didn't realise until I experienced them. I was naive enough to believe that love is all you need to make a relationship work, and that if you are in love, everything else falls into place. It doesn't. You need compatibility, trust, common beliefs/interests, etc.

I would agree that there is no substitute for experience, but some people are either blessed enough or fortunate enough or clever enough to not need experience to make the right relationship work, and good for them!

i will never be blessed enough fortunante enough or (i think we ALL KNOW) clever enough to make a relationship work............. IN GENERAL

 

[amorelife]

Hi. I would just like to put this verse out there for you "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" delight in Him first, and you shall get what you ask for. God bless.