Seoulsearch Tries To Date Multiple People At Once -- Ending In Epic Failure!

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,422
5,361
113
If you get down this way we'll find a hammock for you.
Aw, that's so kind of you, thank you so much! :)

A hammock sounds perfect.

I have a CC friend in Maine -- I'm hoping it will be an excuse to cause mayhem, er, I mean, take a tour around the Eastern USA. :D
 

RodB651

Well-known member
Feb 11, 2021
720
440
63
59
Georgia.. The state not the republic.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,107
9,205
113
Georgia.. The state not the republic.
Yeah, that one confused me for a while. I was very young when I first played Splinter Cell, and the main character was infiltrating Georgia. Landscape didn't look a THING like the South.
 

stingray72

Active member
Jun 15, 2024
210
107
43
no fair i dont know that language. Good things theres google translate
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,422
5,361
113
no fair i dont know that language.
I don't either -- I cheated and used Google translate.

From what I can tell, @Susanna said, "I am first and foremost Cajun."

To this I replied, "Indeed."

Hopefully she'll come in and correct me if I'm wrong. :)
 

stingray72

Active member
Jun 15, 2024
210
107
43
I don't either -- I cheated and used Google translate.

From what I can tell, @Susanna said, "I am first and foremost Cajun."

To this I replied, "Indeed."

Hopefully she'll come in and correct me if I'm wrong. :)
I don't either -- I cheated and used Google translate.

From what I can tell, @Susanna said, "I am first and foremost Cajun."

To this I replied, "Indeed."

Hopefully she'll come in and correct me if I'm wrong. :)
I checked your right.
 

Sculpt

Well-known member
Apr 18, 2021
1,138
362
83
So it doesn't sound like you are trying to keep the ladies from getting prematurely attached, interesting :unsure:.
No, I am not concerned about that; like I'm not concerned about being attacked by a polar bear. :sneaky: If I was reporting back to civilization, I would document that around 2000 all women were infected with a disease that prevent amorous attachment. For utilitarian purposes they mimic attachment behaviors to create an illusion of fidelity, friendship, admiration, dependency and attachment... Just Kidding :p I really mean some people, males and females, do this. Genuine love searchers must guard their hearts and be critically discerning.

As long as people are upfront and honest, adults are fully responsible for their hearts.

On my end of things, I really only worry about the guys getting prematurely attached :unsure:. Not that I'm incapable of reckless dreaming/hoping; I'm just pretty quick to slap myself back to reality. If anything I'd be more likely to drag my feet than get ahead of myself. Perhaps it's just the difference between men and women? :unsure:
Perhaps so. Most women seem "exceedingly practical" to me. ;) My mom told me, later in life, that women choose men based on the life they will give them. This "practically" likely developed from historic lack of opportunities. Thankfully, that systemic lack of opportunity is almost entirely gone in the western world; but the "practicality" maybe imbedded much more deeply culturally, or some hypothesize genetically.

I guess I would define inappropriate attachment as too short of a time, therefore not knowing me well enough for it to be anything beyond superficial reasons (and also refusing to take "no" for an answer). Yet I, myself, have experienced what I can only describe as "love at first sight", and it wasn't based on looks at all....it was like I instantly saw into his soul and liked what I found. I don't know any other way to describe it, but it was incredibly strong and powerful. I know the feeling wasn't anything sinful and really it felt like it was spiritual :unsure:. So I don't see any reason why a guy couldn't have the same experience upon meeting me but the thought is still kinda scary. So maybe that is an issue unto itself. :unsure:
Perhaps "romantic attachment" before established compatibly and friendship is folly. The various ways someone feels may be real but also fleeting and rootless.

So in short, if a guy seems interested and I discern that he's a good guy, I want to push him away to protect him.
In short, you knowing yourself, and being discerning, I think you're doing the right thing. I'm not sure what you mean by "pushing him away"... but to reiterate, with up-front honesty, setting boundaries and expectations, I think you can keep a "good guy" on a healthy relationship course with you, without "pushing him away" if that takes unhealthy forms that would cause distrust or derail a promising relationship.

I think this one was supposed to be rhetorical? If not I'd be happy to give a shot at answering, but my guess could be dreadfully off the mark! If I were to try to answer, it would be helpful to know more about your selection process/criteria :giggle:.
Yes, too true! LOL! That might make a good thread. It's a big subject. It probably mostly comes down to doing what you know you should. What someone finds attractive is likely partially subconscious; information worthy of bringing into the light. And probably requires a therapists. :geek:
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,422
5,361
113
Mais oui, c’est juste, mon ami.😊
French is such a beautiful-sounding language, like a song you don't want to end.

If I ever met a French-speaking guy, it might be all over! :ROFL:

I remember seeing an interview with Jane Birkin, the British/French actress/singer, and the studio had arranged a surprise visit from her daughters. She was so surprised to see them and they were all speaking to each other excitedly in French -- it sounded like an amazing harmony. ❤️

Susanna, if we ever hung out I'm sure I would annoy you to death -- I would demand that you speak French around me but then also have to constantly ask what you were saying. :cool:
 

stingray72

Active member
Jun 15, 2024
210
107
43
watching hell testimonies on youtube....so many similarities Heavenly ones are too.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
French is such a beautiful-sounding language, like a song you don't want to end.

If I ever met a French-speaking guy, it might be all over! :ROFL:
Susanna, if we ever hung out I'm sure I would annoy you to death -- I would demand that you speak French around me but then also have to constantly ask what you were saying. :cool:

Do you forget me so quickly mi amour? Am I merely another drop in your bucket of captured tears?
 

Snackersmom

Senior Member
May 10, 2011
1,643
257
83
No, I am not concerned about that; like I'm not concerned about being attacked by a polar bear. :sneaky: If I was reporting back to civilization, I would document that around 2000 all women were infected with a disease that prevent amorous attachment. For utilitarian purposes they mimic attachment behaviors to create an illusion of fidelity, friendship, admiration, dependency and attachment... Just Kidding :p I really mean some people, males and females, do this. Genuine love searchers must guard their hearts and be critically discerning.

As long as people are upfront and honest, adults are fully responsible for their hearts.
Hmmmm, you say something happened around the year 2000, huh? :unsure:. I was a high school junior that year, and I recall that the hottest trend in Christian dating was to kiss dating goodbye. All the good Christian girls I knew were adamant that they were only interested in a man who would "court" them. I looked into courting and it seemed dreadfully serious; if you began a courtship then you were expected to marry the guy unless something terrible happened to prevent it. It seemed like way too much to try to figure out before you even had a chance to get to know him. I had no idea what to even look for as far as compatibility goes, either. So I decided to be a rebel and just recklessly date every man who asked :cool:. NOT!!!!! I was a "Good girl" who was trying to follow the "rules", so I shot down every guy who showed interest in me if I wasn't comfortable with the thought of marrying him. Which was all of them :rolleyes:.

Courting worked out ok for a lot of my friends, but I wish I had the self-awareness at that age to realize that it was a terrible fit for me personally. I realize it now, but I'm still finding my way through all the mental roadblocks I constructed in the meantime. :confused:

Perhaps "romantic attachment" before established compatibility and friendship is folly. The various ways someone feels may be real but also fleeting and rootless. In short, you knowing yourself, and being discerning, I think you're doing the right thing. I'm not sure what you mean by "pushing him away"... but to reiterate, with up-front honesty, setting boundaries and expectations, I think you can keep a "good guy" on a healthy relationship course with you, without "pushing him away" if that takes unhealthy forms that would cause distrust or derail a promising relationship.
I have come to realize that what you said in bold is definitely the case for me personally. But for some reason it's still not well accepted in Christian circles.....people say it would lead to sin, or pain, or it's just plain wrong becasue the only reason men and women should be spending time together is to work towards the ultimate goal....marriage. But if a guy can't put up with me until we figure out if we're even possibly right for each other, then how the heck is he going to put up with me for the rest of my life?!? I can be pretty dang weird, I'd need him to know what he was getting himself into lol. :LOL:

But yes, you're right that what I might think is being considerate or conscientious could actually be something unhealthy and unkind.......that's probably what I need to watch out for the most, really. :confused:

Yes, too true! LOL! That might make a good thread. It's a big subject. It probably mostly comes down to doing what you know you should. What someone finds attractive is likely partially subconscious; information worthy of bringing into the light. And probably requires a therapists. :geek:
I have a crazy idea. Don't worry though; all my best ideas are crazy :D. Oh crap, wait......all my worst ideas were also crazy :unsure:. Hmmm. Well, I guess we won't know which category this one fits into unless we try it out :cool:. Anyway, here it is: We can start a thread where members can each post 3 fake dating profiles, and you can tell us which one of the 3 you would choose. Then all of us dime-store therapists can analyze your choices and try to pick up on patterns of self-destructive tendencies! :D:cool:. Hmmm...ok now that I've typed it out, I'm pretty sure that one falls under "worst ideas" :cautious:. But maybe I will start a thread on the topic, IDK...or you could, since it was your idea in the first place :giggle::geek:.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
59,675
29,016
113
A quick and pointed response is often exactly what is needed. Brevity has never
been my strong suit but I admire the skill in others. It's good to have you here! 😎
"Brevity is the soul of wit." So said Shakespeare...
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
59,675
29,016
113
I wish all posts were short. It isn’t easy to read them when:

1: English is not my first language
2: I’m a dyslexic

Just saying lol.
Many of my posts are short... especially in the BDF. Concise.

Hey, didn't I design a panel for you way back when? I can't find it now...

Just went looking for it and came across this one:



Drama
:giggle: