Should Christians Use Dating Apps?

[RodColeman]

Unlike you, folks around here respect other's privacy, what and how they're doing in their marriage is between themselves. It's not like they're cheating or the bride was sex trafficked or they have demostic violence or something, who am I to judge?

So it's a private matter, and yet you insist that every unmarried Christian remain single? Alright, then.

(Also, didn't you equate marriage with "sex trafficking" on this forum before? Maybe I'm misremembering.)

You didn't ask for that "a lot of things," you asked me to answer your question, which I did.

But there's lots of things relevant to that question, things that Jesus and Paul explicitly said, that you keep ignoring, or misunderstanding.

 

[Churchgoer]

If people are concerned about money, I can assure, if one is matured in faith, has godly wisdom, dating does not cost money extra at all.

Come to our church help cleaning together. Have a meal together, go take a walk together.... non of this cost extra money.

Unless you don't eat, don't walk, don't help out others. ... then yeah, to eat is to buy or grow food.

These days no woman will force you to pay for her food. Unless you are dating outside of Christian circle, then I don't know.

 

[RodColeman]

If people are concerned about money, I can assure, if one is matured in faith, has godly wisdom, dating does not cost money extra at all.

Come to our church help cleaning together. Have a meal together, go take a walk together.... non of this cost extra money.

Unless you don't eat, don't walk, don't help out others. ... then yeah, to eat is to buy or grow food.

These days no woman will force you to pay for her food. Unless you are dating outside of Christian circle, then I don't know.

Besides, if you have money concerns, you should probably work on fixing that before you decide to start dating. if you're a guy pursuing a girl, you're going to want her family's blessing. You have to show them not only that you want to provide for her and for a family but that you actually can do it. And, apparently, the biigest cause of stress in marriage is finances.

Love doesn't pay the bills. But, love should compel you to figure out a way to pay the bills.

 

[JohnDB]

Lol!

Most chatter on the forum is rambling -- at least, all of my posts are!

But seeing 3 people carry on for 57 pages (combining the 2 threads) and still going -- all about the same topic and never changing -- now that's an accomplishment!

That's not a criticism in any way.

As I've said, I'm rather enjoying it.

Watching a troll constantly get their hat handed to themselves because they really are that dumb while claiming intellectual and spiritual superiority over everyone is always fascinating.

Everyone has done it.

Rod just hasn't caught on yet....

 

[Churchgoer]

Besides, if you have money concerns, you should probably work on fixing that before you decide to start dating. if you're a guy pursuing a girl, you're going to want her family's blessing. You have to show them not only that you want to provide for her and for a family but that you actually can do it. And, apparently, the biigest cause of stress in marriage is finances.

Love doesn't pay the bills. But, love should compel you to figure out a way to pay the bills.

2 people can go to a church for worship together, don't cost any extra money.
After church if have time, eat together, don't cost extra money.

I don't understand what's the concern for money here?

A true believer will not care about money, they care about if each other is good fit.

 

[RodColeman]

2 people can go to a church for worship together, don't cost any extra money.
After church if have time, eat together, don't cost extra money.

I don't understand what's the concern for money here?

A true believer will not care about money, they care about if each other is good fit.

Well, what I meant was that it's good to be financially stable if you do want to marry. Sure, you don't have to be "wealthy" to get married. But financial wisdom and financial stability is a good asset if you do want to get married, and if you do want to make yourself into an attractive marriage prospect. And if you want to convince a potential partner's parents that you'd make a good partner for him/her.

If you want to afford a wedding, and a place for family to live, and the means to raise and support a family, well, it's good to exercise some wisdom here.

If you're not financially stable, well, you probably shouldn't be dating or even looking for someone to date. Just my thoughts.

 

[Churchgoer]

Well, what I meant was that it's good to be financially stable if you do want to marry. Sure, you don't have to be "wealthy" to get married. But financial wisdom and financial stability is a good asset if you do want to get married, and if you do want to make yourself into an attractive marriage prospect. And if you want to convince a potential partner's parents that you'd make a good partner for him/her.

If you want to afford a wedding, and a place for family to live, and the means to raise and support a family, well, it's good to exercise some wisdom here.

If you're not financially stable, well, you probably shouldn't be dating or even looking for someone to date. Just my thoughts.

Agree.
But it also depends on age.
For young people, they are still growing in wisdom. Marrying young gives couple time to grow together. Yes they will struggle possible in finance, but every age has issues, different ones.
Usually God will pair one who is wise in finance with one not so, so they compliment each other.

For older like me, 50+, or 30+, or 40+, yes, need to be financially stable, self sufficient at single time, it is a proof that one can at least take care self at single time.

I think it is beautiful when people marry in their early 20s, raising kids early. With today's pollution, many start to get health issues around 40s, difficult to have or raise kids.

 

[RodColeman]

Agree.
But it also depends on age.
For young people, they are still growing in wisdom. Marrying young gives couple time to grow together. Yes they will struggle possible in finance, but every age has issues, different ones.
Usually God will pair one who is wise in finance with one not so, so they compliment each other.

For older like me, 50+, or 30+, or 40+, yes, need to be financially stable, self sufficient at single time, it is a proof that one can at least take care self at single time.

I think it is beautiful when people marry in their early 20s, raising kids early. With today's pollution, many start to get health issues around 40s, difficult to have or raise kids.

Yeah, that's true. I certainly don't think you need to wealthy to get married. For me, personally, I would appreciate a partner whose finances are in order, and who's in a career where she can earn a decent amount, and in a career where she has the potential to move up the ladder.

That's just me, though.

 

[Snackersmom]

For a brief moment, it looked like this conversation might be in danger of morphing into a regular conversation!

Yeah I see what you are referring to . I had to work late last night and I'm afraid the window might have closed, but here's hoping......

 

[Snackersmom]

Then what's your point? What's understandable to me is how you guys as supposedly born again Christians are so hyped at dating, perhaps THE most secular and carnal activity, rather than edifying one another to defy the "preparing stage for marriage" narrative and finding contentment in singleness.

Hi Lovette, if you are asking what my reason was for posting in this thread, it was because you asked yet another member some bizarre question about dropping their pants.

We had previously asked you to stop doing that because it's super cringey and could really upset a new member.

So I got fed up and decided to deploy a youth ministry tactic. Anytime a kid won't stop acting cringey, the adults all start doing the same thing until the kid gets sick of it and realizes how annoying it is. I don't know if I've finally gotten through to you on that subject but I REALLY hope so, because I'm going to have start reporting you if you don't stop.

I was also hoping that you would stop deciding random things about people based on very little evidence, and then flipping out when they say you are wrong. I do not appear to have gotten through to you on that but I still have hope.

This last thing is just a pipe dream, but someday I hope you stop deciding that you know God's will for every other Christian on the planet. We are not all called the same. It upsets you if anyone tells you that you should be married, so why do you think you can tell people they have to stay single? You complain that dating is a waste of time that no true Christian would take part in, yet you spend hours writing about imaginary love triangles. I do not judge you for your writing, so why do you judge others for spending time with an actual human being? That is between them and God.

I have other hopes for you as well, but that is enough for now.

 

[Churchgoer]

Yeah, that's true. I certainly don't think you need to wealthy to get married. For me, personally, I would appreciate a partner whose finances are in order, and who's in a career where she can earn a decent amount, and in a career where she has the potential to move up the ladder.

That's just me, though.

sounds great

for me, career is pretty much settled, thank God. Now it is mostly about healthy living, active life style.

But I definitely agree about financial stability. My philosophy is spend less, work less

 

[Snackersmom]

Then you should check your own previous posts. I was simply pointing out your discontentment with singleness based on your own confession of your dating history, you falsely accused me, that was aggression.

I said that I have dated a "small handful of men". Two officially and a third unofficially because we never went on an actual date, but he was a family friend and I did spend time getting to know him.

Anyway...... I've had two dating partners in my entire life, and I have been an adult for over 25 years. I am currently single and content, not looking. Did it ever occur to you that my mindset could have changed over the past 25 years?

There are many other scenarios wherein a person could have a dating history yet still be content with their singleness. If you really want to practice your critical thinking you could try to think of a few, it would be good for you. I can think of several right off the top of my head.

As a side note, can you explain why you're totally comfortable to just announce that I'm discontent with singleness, then when I say you're wrong you flip out and say I'm being aggressive? I'm not trying to be argumentative here, I'm just saying it's a major double standard. What gives, bro?

 

[JohnDB]

Ooopppppsssss

 

[Snackersmom]

@Lovette

Just to clarify, I am not angry at you but I am very frustrated by your behavior.

If you were to stop and look around and listen, you would realize that most people here agree with some of what you are saying. We are tired of being treated like second-class citizens. We are frustrated by the obsession with marriage and dating. Many in church do hold it up like an idol. I'm very glad that you have accepted singleness in Christ, that's a true blessing. And it's sweet that you intend to use your singleness to care for your aging parents. I applaud you for that.

It's your approach that needs work more than anything, but for that you'll have to dig deep on the inside. Tough work but I hope you are up for it.

Best-

 

[Lovette]

So it's a private matter, and yet you insist that every unmarried Christian remain single? Alright, then.

(Also, didn't you equate marriage with "sex trafficking" on this forum before? Maybe I'm misremembering.)

It's apostle Paul's wish, take it or leave it.

But there's lots of things relevant to that question, things that Jesus and Paul explicitly said, that you keep ignoring, or misunderstanding.

Yeah, lots of things, including 1 Cor. 10:23, repeating 1 Cor. 6:12, "all things are lawful not not all things are helpful." That you keep ignoring, or misunderstanding, so don't throw it at me.

 

[Lovette]

Hi Lovette, if you are asking what my reason was for posting in this thread, it was because you asked yet another member some bizarre question about dropping their pants.

We had previously asked you to stop doing that because it's super cringey and could really upset a new member.

So I got fed up and decided to deploy a youth ministry tactic. Anytime a kid won't stop acting cringey, the adults all start doing the same thing until the kid gets sick of it and realizes how annoying it is. I don't know if I've finally gotten through to you on that subject but I REALLY hope so, because I'm going to have start reporting you if you don't stop.

I was also hoping that you would stop deciding random things about people based on very little evidence, and then flipping out when they say you are wrong. I do not appear to have gotten through to you on that but I still have hope.

This last thing is just a pipe dream, but someday I hope you stop deciding that you know God's will for every other Christian on the planet. We are not all called the same. It upsets you if anyone tells you that you should be married, so why do you think you can tell people they have to stay single? You complain that dating is a waste of time that no true Christian would take part in, yet you spend hours writing about imaginary love triangles. I do not judge you for your writing, so why do you judge others for spending time with an actual human being? That is between them and God.

I have other hopes for you as well, but that is enough for now.

Alright, show me where in the bible does God institute modern dating. Show me where in the bible does Jesus tell his disciples to hassle a woman, ask for her number, taker her to dinner and make out. Show me that theology or doctrine directs believers to dating apps. Speaking of "little evidence" or "bizarre", lol. I don't judge you or anybody for liking these things, but please don't stick a Christian label on them and yelling at me for opposing them.

As for my stories, I've told you that's training my brain for critical and original thinking, that's a million times more meaningful than hanging out with random guys you know nothing about - or scrolling on dating app. That's not between you and God, them and God or anybody and God, that's between you and the tech corporations, who are harvesting your data and fleecing you for profit.

 

[Lovette]

I said that I have dated a "small handful of men". Two officially and a third unofficially because we never went on an actual date, but he was a family friend and I did spend time getting to know him.

Anyway...... I've had two dating partners in my entire life, and I have been an adult for over 25 years. I am currently single and content, not looking. Did it ever occur to you that my mindset could have changed over the past 25 years?

There are many other scenarios wherein a person could have a dating history yet still be content with their singleness. If you really want to practice your critical thinking you could try to think of a few, it would be good for you. I can think of several right off the top of my head.

As a side note, can you explain why you're totally comfortable to just announce that I'm discontent with singleness, then when I say you're wrong you flip out and say I'm being aggressive? I'm not trying to be argumentative here, I'm just saying it's a major double standard. What gives, bro?

Your love life is your own, I didn't ask for any of it, neither did I intend to judge you, ma'am. But just tell me, are you content with singleness or not? Yes or no? Do you trust the rest of your life in God's hands, or do you have to seek validation from others?

Truth be told, I'm only being aggressive against the broad "purity culture" narrative, that "man/woman shall join their partner - who may or may not exist - and become one flesh", singleness is just the preparing stage, a "waiting season" for marriage; a chaste, faithful Christian will be rewarded with happy marriage, and happy marriage proves your chastity and faithfulness, as though marriage is your blessed assurance instead of the precious blood of Christ.

So, I'm not here to tell anybody on what to do with their love life, I'm here to expose this false prosperity gospel. My aggression against it is my practice of critical thinking, that's my only standard, whether I'm aggressive or not against you depends on where you stand on this narrative.

 

[Lovette]

@Lovette

Just to clarify, I am not angry at you but I am very frustrated by your behavior.

If you were to stop and look around and listen, you would realize that most people here agree with some of what you are saying. We are tired of being treated like second-class citizens. We are frustrated by the obsession with marriage and dating. Many in church do hold it up like an idol. I'm very glad that you have accepted singleness in Christ, that's a true blessing. And it's sweet that you intend to use your singleness to care for your aging parents. I applaud you for that.

It's your approach that needs work more than anything, but for that you'll have to dig deep on the inside. Tough work but I hope you are up for it.

Best-

Then what are we arguing about? Do a little research on cultural history and you'll see that this "obsession with marriage and dating" didn't come from nowhere, back in the 50s and 60s marriage rate was as high as 90%, families were burgeoning in the suburbs nationwide, one man's income could sustain a whole family of more than four in a fancy townhouse with white picket pence. The thing is that, such prosperity are dying out with the boomers and Gen Xers, and yet they were stuck in their childhood, they preached as though we were still living in the 50s and 60s, when it's more like a crumbling Roman Empire these days.

 

[RodColeman]

It's apostle Paul's wish, take it or leave it.

Is that all Paul said? No.

In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no “commandment from God” about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it’s good to stay single, but that it’s better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul “supposes” that it’s better to stay single because of “the present distress,” some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you’re not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.

Yeah, lots of things, including 1 Cor. 10:23, repeating 1 Cor. 6:12, "all things are lawful not not all things are helpful." That you keep ignoring, or misunderstanding, so don't throw it at me.

When it comes to 1 Corinthians 10:23, you can say that about a lot of things. And Paul was saying this in reference to people eating food offered to idols. Paul was telling them to not just think about their own liberties and "rights," but to also consider how this sort of thing might affect others. The Corinthians wanted to go forward with Jesus as much as they could, but they still wanted to know how much they could get away with and still be Christians. That’s the wrong approach, of course. Paul also says that if an unbeliever invites you to a meal, don’t get into a debate about the meat with them. Just don’t ask, and it won’t bother you.

And, again, in reference to 6:12, the Corinthians were using their "liberty" as a license to sin, and Paul was addressing that. But is it a "sin" to get married? No. Paul even clarifies that 1 Corinthians 7:28.

You say I keep "misunderstanding" this. So you interpret these verses to mean that Paul prohibited marriage? That's rather novel. Paul was the one who condemned people who prohibited marriage, remember? See 1 Timothy 4:3.

So, I'm not here to tell anybody on what to do with their love life.....

Oh? Well, great! So why not let just people marry if they want to to? Paul let people get married, despite his own personal preference for singleness for himself, and despite his own personal opinion that singleness was better. Why can't you? Didn't Paul tell us to imitate him?

 

[Lovette]

Is that all Paul said? No.

Did Paul say that? Yes.

When it comes to 1 Corinthians 10:23, you can say that about a lot of things. And Paul was saying this in reference to people eating food offered to idols. Paul was telling them to not just think about their own liberties and "rights," but to also consider how this sort of thing might affect others. The Corinthians wanted to go forward with Jesus as much as they could, but they still wanted to know how much they could get away with and still be Christians. That’s the wrong approach, of course. Paul also says that if an unbeliever invites you to a meal, don’t get into a debate about the meat with them. Just don’t ask, and it won’t bother you.

And, again, in reference to 6:12, the Corinthians were using their "liberty" as a license to sin, and Paul was addressing that. But is it a "sin" to get married? No. Paul even clarifies that 1 Corinthians 7:28.

You say I keep "misunderstanding" this. So you interpret these verses to mean that Paul prohibited marriage? That's rather novel. Paul was the one who condemned people who prohibited marriage, remember? See 1 Timothy 4:3.

Paul didn't prohibit you to own a mansion or a yacht either, go for it.

Oh? Well, great! So why not let just people marry if they want to to? Paul let people get married, despite his own personal preference for singleness for himself, and despite his own personal opinion that singleness was better. Why can't you? Didn't Paul tell us to imitate him?

Still don't understand that a single person normally desires for a boyfriend/girlfriend first, do you. Go ahead, marry your AI partner or your pet, nobody's stopping you.