-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
D
Not true at all. I'm looking for an answer, but the answers I keep getting are about "men, you do wrong things! You need to forgive when we cheat on you! Love us instead when we have another man's baby! You aren't Godly enough! You aren't this or that!"
I think I've proven enough that it isn't exactly man's fault anymore. This thread was also about what advantages are left, when everything seems to be against us as a gender? No woman on here has admitted much wrongdoing for women. Why is that?
If your best answer has been to say "you don't want an answer if you just blame women!" then I think I've shown where one of the problems lie. Once again, I ask... where is the responsibility in women? If you can create a power struggle through feminism, and men have conceded and conceded over and over again, when does it end? When do women step back and take any responsibility for things? It may be both sides, but I've yet to see a woman say as much, or even acknowledge that anything I said has been true if it touches home even a little bit, yet most of the men seem to agree with me. I think that proves a valid point somewhere.
It doesn't need to be a battle of the sexes. I just don't see much help. I brought up a valid point, but most of the women (not all, including you) have said something along the lines of "it's not a problem!" by just saying to pray more. That doesn't solve the problem, but actually simply avoids it. We all can be equally to blame, but that still doesn't solve the problem. I'm just wondering how that problem can be solved. Nautilus brings up a good point. The norm is basically that if a man marries, he will most likely (based on real world percentages) be divorced, lose half his financial stability, and that's that. How is that okay?
I think I've proven enough that it isn't exactly man's fault anymore. This thread was also about what advantages are left, when everything seems to be against us as a gender? No woman on here has admitted much wrongdoing for women. Why is that?
If your best answer has been to say "you don't want an answer if you just blame women!" then I think I've shown where one of the problems lie. Once again, I ask... where is the responsibility in women? If you can create a power struggle through feminism, and men have conceded and conceded over and over again, when does it end? When do women step back and take any responsibility for things? It may be both sides, but I've yet to see a woman say as much, or even acknowledge that anything I said has been true if it touches home even a little bit, yet most of the men seem to agree with me. I think that proves a valid point somewhere.
It doesn't need to be a battle of the sexes. I just don't see much help. I brought up a valid point, but most of the women (not all, including you) have said something along the lines of "it's not a problem!" by just saying to pray more. That doesn't solve the problem, but actually simply avoids it. We all can be equally to blame, but that still doesn't solve the problem. I'm just wondering how that problem can be solved. Nautilus brings up a good point. The norm is basically that if a man marries, he will most likely (based on real world percentages) be divorced, lose half his financial stability, and that's that. How is that okay?
Last edited:
P
In Heaven and in Hell there are banquet tables..
The same great feast is on both..
Strapped to each persons hands are utensils . These utensils are to long for a person to feed themselves .... At the banquet table in heaven .. People begin looking around asking " hey what do you want? They begin feeding one another exactly what the other person wants using their utensils, nobody starves.
At the supper table in Hell, the same utensils are used... but people are sitting there starving to death...
The same great feast is on both..
Strapped to each persons hands are utensils . These utensils are to long for a person to feed themselves .... At the banquet table in heaven .. People begin looking around asking " hey what do you want? They begin feeding one another exactly what the other person wants using their utensils, nobody starves.
At the supper table in Hell, the same utensils are used... but people are sitting there starving to death...
S
You and the OP should just not get married. Simple solution. Paul speaks to "staying single" in the book of Corinthians. (Definitely not for the selfish reasons you both advocate) but you really should remain single. With all the points you have both made, (some warranting true fear within your thinking, which by the way does not come from God) The truth of the matter is , with the type of thinking you posses.......you won't make good husbands either. Not being rude, but it's just truth.
P
Dabear---- sorry i dont know how to quote yet : to your statement "I wonder... does this mean she has a free reign to now commit adultery every chance she gets? It certainly seems so, because I know plenty of women who would view this as weakness on the man's part, and he will now perpetually become a doormat"
no, what this means is , "Gods "Love and Mercy " that he want to project out through us" was shown and displayed "much larger" and "much bigger" than her Sin...
that man in my view projected the image of God out to her.... it wasn't about what he was getting, it was about what He was giving
. Jesus could have said the same thing about us in our sin... He didn't He loves us bigger ... even when we do not love Him, He still loves us
Peace to you
Michelle
no, what this means is , "Gods "Love and Mercy " that he want to project out through us" was shown and displayed "much larger" and "much bigger" than her Sin...
that man in my view projected the image of God out to her.... it wasn't about what he was getting, it was about what He was giving
. Jesus could have said the same thing about us in our sin... He didn't He loves us bigger ... even when we do not love Him, He still loves us Peace to you
Michelle
P
when man projects the image of Christ ..... Weakness?? Hardly.... doormat? my goodness no... That's an alpha male ...God doing his work through Him...
I use to think it was too dabear, Until it was pointed out to
Me " Christ gave up his rights".... the question to
Me when told that.... " what rights are you still claiming you deserve?"
Jesus deserved everything , got none of it, took none of it... In fact, he "willingly" gave them up..."knowing" He is the son of God
I use to think it was too dabear, Until it was pointed out to
Me " Christ gave up his rights".... the question to
Me when told that.... " what rights are you still claiming you deserve?"
Jesus deserved everything , got none of it, took none of it... In fact, he "willingly" gave them up..."knowing" He is the son of God
Last edited by a moderator:
P
Let me rephrase That
Jesus gives up His rights every day up to this exact moment .... what He deserves, He doesn't demand any of His rights, takes none of them... Even though He knows He is the Son of God...
are we doing as Christ is doing for us? Or simply demanding our fleshly rights, expecting them, not giving because of that... I had to get deep in my soul and ask myself this question
Jesus gives up His rights every day up to this exact moment .... what He deserves, He doesn't demand any of His rights, takes none of them... Even though He knows He is the Son of God...
are we doing as Christ is doing for us? Or simply demanding our fleshly rights, expecting them, not giving because of that... I had to get deep in my soul and ask myself this question
P
God doesn't tell us to change a single thing....it is written. " Be transformed in the renewing of your mind"
God simply wants us to change our minds, Jesus will change our hearts and that will lead to Him walking out the great commission, through our actions .
Without Christ, we can do nothing . It's not about what we deserve or what we want... It's about what Christ deserves and what He wants
God simply wants us to change our minds, Jesus will change our hearts and that will lead to Him walking out the great commission, through our actions .
Without Christ, we can do nothing . It's not about what we deserve or what we want... It's about what Christ deserves and what He wants
R
The rants you've expressed in this thread come from an angry place and past hurt. Many women are innocent and kind, they are the examples of society you should be focusing on, not the ones who cheat on their mate or hire divorce lawyers for unjust reasons. I am sorry you've been hurt in the past, I really am. But if you don't forgive your past it's just going to continue to follow you around and poison your outlook.
What we rant about says a lot about who we are as an individual.
There are always going to be problems out in the world and people who do or say things that are not fair and don't make sense and get the law on their side. We can accept them and forgive, or we can resent them. It's always our choice.
Let me ask you a direct question. What is your genuine goal in making this thread? I don't mean that in a fight-picking tone, I'm curious for real.
What we rant about says a lot about who we are as an individual.
There are always going to be problems out in the world and people who do or say things that are not fair and don't make sense and get the law on their side. We can accept them and forgive, or we can resent them. It's always our choice.
Let me ask you a direct question. What is your genuine goal in making this thread? I don't mean that in a fight-picking tone, I'm curious for real.
J
So women who haven't cheated should take responsibility for women who have? Women who haven't trashed marriages should take responsibility for those who have? Are the guys who are asking them to do so willing to accept responsibility for every awful thing ever done by every guy ever?
What positive thing can come from this? What is it that you want? Or is this simply fueled by a painful need to rant?
Yes, marriages are a mess. Both sides are to blame. Mostly SIN is to blame. The answer? Stop sinning and pray for those who continue to, and especially don't marry them. There is no magic wand.
What positive thing can come from this? What is it that you want? Or is this simply fueled by a painful need to rant?
Yes, marriages are a mess. Both sides are to blame. Mostly SIN is to blame. The answer? Stop sinning and pray for those who continue to, and especially don't marry them. There is no magic wand.
Which is why I said if BOTH people loved like they should. If your theoretical wife loved you like she ought to, she wouldn't cheat on you. Love does no wrong to a neighbor, and if you love God, you keep His commandments. The way I'm looking at it, sin = a lack of love.
Is perfect love feasible? I'm not naive enough to think that it is. I'm not saying that anybody can be without sin. Nobody is perfect. We will ALL hurt people that we claim to love. We will need them to forgive us. But, in marriages that truly work, that love is there. Keeping them from cheating on one another (or worse), allowing them to forgive one another for the smaller things, and keeping things on an even keel.
I disagree with you very much about trust. It seems like you're saying that when you meet a random stranger, you already trust them as much as you possibly can, and it can only go downhill from there.
Is perfect love feasible? I'm not naive enough to think that it is. I'm not saying that anybody can be without sin. Nobody is perfect. We will ALL hurt people that we claim to love. We will need them to forgive us. But, in marriages that truly work, that love is there. Keeping them from cheating on one another (or worse), allowing them to forgive one another for the smaller things, and keeping things on an even keel.
I disagree with you very much about trust. It seems like you're saying that when you meet a random stranger, you already trust them as much as you possibly can, and it can only go downhill from there.
J
I, Jullianna (not my real name), hereby accept responsibility for every woman who has ever lied, cheated, stolen, kicked your dog, short sheeted your bed, stood in front of the tv during your favorite ballgame, washed that dirty pair of jeans you hide in the corner, agreed with your mother, put a fuzzy toilet lid in your bathroom or said she just wanted to be friends.
I offer my favorite cookies for you to print out and use as a target. I was going to offer my favorite shoes, but...I..just...couldn't...*hangs head in shame*
I offer my favorite cookies for you to print out and use as a target. I was going to offer my favorite shoes, but...I..just...couldn't...*hangs head in shame*
Attachments
K
I gave you an answer to your question. Nowhere did I say that men were to blame for marriage problems so you don't need to prove me that this isn't man's fault. I know there are great men out there representing Christ as much as they can.
What advantages are left? That shouldn't be a question for starters, wether you are a woman or a man. That's not the way Jesus taught us. And that's a question women make too in the weakest moments btw ( f.i. why should I submit to a sinner? what if I marry an abuser? what are the advantages left for me?) . But what does God say? Perfect love casts out fear. If we all followed the path of love, there wouldn't be anything to fear. I firmly believe that if I listen to God's voice in my decisions, including marriage, I will avoid many problems. Marriage won't be ever perfect, but God can work through it if we allow Him to.
You want every woman to feel guilty for the wrongdoings of all women in the world? I admit feminism on this days has created a wrong perception of men and has contributed to the failure of marriage. I've seen women saying they don't need men, they are the ones who give birth,etc and I assure you I think it's wrong. However the root of this is sin, as Jullianna was saying. I won't apologize for something another woman did, I have yet to fix my OWN wrongdoings. I can pray for the hurt they've created, sure, but I won't start a rant about women in general because I know many women who have tried their best in relationships and I don't wanna put them in this box of ''all women are failures''.
We are Christians. Aren't we supposed to be different from the world? I still believe that if we want a godly marriage we need to be godly people and marry a godly person. I wouldn't marry someone if I didn't trust him enough to give him all my life. And believe me, there are times when I think it's better not to marry at all. I'm scared of being hurt too. I don't want for myself what I've seen all my life. But my hope is that I will find someone godly if I live a godly life.
What advantages are left? That shouldn't be a question for starters, wether you are a woman or a man. That's not the way Jesus taught us. And that's a question women make too in the weakest moments btw ( f.i. why should I submit to a sinner? what if I marry an abuser? what are the advantages left for me?) . But what does God say? Perfect love casts out fear. If we all followed the path of love, there wouldn't be anything to fear. I firmly believe that if I listen to God's voice in my decisions, including marriage, I will avoid many problems. Marriage won't be ever perfect, but God can work through it if we allow Him to.
You want every woman to feel guilty for the wrongdoings of all women in the world? I admit feminism on this days has created a wrong perception of men and has contributed to the failure of marriage. I've seen women saying they don't need men, they are the ones who give birth,etc and I assure you I think it's wrong. However the root of this is sin, as Jullianna was saying. I won't apologize for something another woman did, I have yet to fix my OWN wrongdoings. I can pray for the hurt they've created, sure, but I won't start a rant about women in general because I know many women who have tried their best in relationships and I don't wanna put them in this box of ''all women are failures''.
We are Christians. Aren't we supposed to be different from the world? I still believe that if we want a godly marriage we need to be godly people and marry a godly person. I wouldn't marry someone if I didn't trust him enough to give him all my life. And believe me, there are times when I think it's better not to marry at all. I'm scared of being hurt too. I don't want for myself what I've seen all my life. But my hope is that I will find someone godly if I live a godly life.
I dont know...its just after considering what I want in a woman, and the fact that fifty percent end in divorces regardless of who initiate them, Im kinda like what are my actual chances of finding someone Im happy with and something lasting? Over all this is starting to look like one of those needle in a haystack kinda things....I dont actually hate or blame women for those. The facts are just what they are. Chances of finding someone I am compatible with...eh we will say moderate like 50-75%. Chances of it ending in divorce 50% . Its a lot too take in and a lot of risk regardless. Especially when there just exist such easier options...not saying i would do them, but it sucks that there are such less risk-inherent things.
A
When I first saw the title of the thread I told myself I wasn't going to even read it but...
I'm not going to read the first four pages, all I have to say is marriage isn't about advantage, it's quite the opposite. I'm a little ashamed that somebody would post a thread about advantages men have in marriage....come on! Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, you think there is an advantage there?
I'm not going to read the first four pages, all I have to say is marriage isn't about advantage, it's quite the opposite. I'm a little ashamed that somebody would post a thread about advantages men have in marriage....come on! Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, you think there is an advantage there?
C
Note to singles pursuing marriage - don't go asking DABEAR for optimism, support and advice lol...
What does a single guy know about marriage? What does a single guy know about women? Nothing, theyre like a dog chasing a fire truck and when they eventually catch up with it, they don't know what to do with it bahahaha.
Id take this entire thread with a grain of salt.
What does a single guy know about marriage? What does a single guy know about women? Nothing, theyre like a dog chasing a fire truck and when they eventually catch up with it, they don't know what to do with it bahahaha.
Id take this entire thread with a grain of salt.