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Why would you ever call child bearing a nasty post-marital surprise?!
To be honest, I would have a hard time marrying someone I knew was infertile. I am not completely against it, but The Lord would have to really change my heart if that were how he was leading me.
I want children more than anything and I am all for adoption. But being pregnant, carrying a baby to term, and giving birth naturally (yes... No drugs at all) is equally as important to me as simply having children. Pregnancy is beautiful and it fascinates me. It would be a terrible loss to never be able to experience a completely pregnancy.
well its a lot easier to plan an adoption than birth. I mean sure there is birth control after marriage but none of those are 100%. I would hate to be practicing safe sex and then come home one day to the Honey Im pregnant, and me not be ready or wanting a kid at that point in my life
Not meaning to derail the subject in any way... But being adopted, I have to state that adoptions are not that easily "planned", especially nowadays. There is a mountain load of requirements nowadays: paperwork, homestudies, social workers, visits to the home country if you're adopting overseas, sometimes spending time with the children if it's an open adoption involving older kids, etc. It's definitely not a matter of deciding, "Oh, we want a baby," and then scheduling a time to pick up your child. Even back in the day, it took my parents over 2 years to get me and another 2 for my brother.
You can literally go through years' worth of work and still not have a child (this is happening to some friends of mine--something like three years, and still no child.) Of course I am all for adoption but anyone considering it has got to be made of some tough stuff (due to all the red tape), not to mention, money. My friends' first child's adoption cost around $25,000 and the second is looking at about $30,000 (these are international adoptions, but domestic ones aren't cheap either, and, from what I hear, take longer.) God does provide though, as my friends are missionaries and the money has all been donated. However, after all this time, they still have no idea when their second child will be released to come home.
Now, to make this legit--when I was younger, I really, really wanted kids. I feel badly for people who have their heart set on things because... What if God says no?
Apparently, that's what He has for me. I can no longer envision starting a family in my 40's (I've lost the desire) so I don't see this as an option for me anymore. Being adopted, this means I will never have a biological relative, which is a hard thing to give up.
So, I am actually hoping to meet someone who also no longer wants to have or can't have children. Maybe someone who's struggled with the idea for years (now decades!) as I have, and has come to the same conclusions, and can be at peace with a new direction.
Thats true, but you are never going to a have a surprise adoption either.
Yes, I would. Now, truthfully, I would like to have true blood children, and continue my family line. That said, I think adoption is needed and awesome! As far as the girl...well...infertility doesn't make me love you any less, lol. Actually, so long as the practice and pleasure of procreation (*clears throat*) was alive and strong in the marriage, well...I'm sure most (not all) men really would be just as happy. ^^ Might not resonate with some, but very much true for most.