~Chuckle for the Day~
- Thread starter Bingo
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42 hilarious finalists in this year's Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
"No, really, I have a prescription for the stuff."
42 hilarious finalists in this year's Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards"No, really, I have a prescription for the stuff."
You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance.”
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, "No money in the bank."
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance.”
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, "No money in the bank."
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
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🤣
Martha, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake; however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old blue pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George, and several others, that everyone seeing it there would know exactly what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a few moments, just turned around and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend or even deny! He said nothing! Later that evening, George quietly parked his blue pickup in front of Martha’s house, walked home, and left it there all night!
You gotta love George!😆
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve.
Surprise- it was an Apple!🍎🌳
It had the extremely limited memory of only 1 byte. Then everything crashed.
Martha, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake; however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old blue pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George, and several others, that everyone seeing it there would know exactly what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a few moments, just turned around and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend or even deny! He said nothing! Later that evening, George quietly parked his blue pickup in front of Martha’s house, walked home, and left it there all night!
You gotta love George!😆
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve.
Surprise- it was an Apple!🍎🌳
It had the extremely limited memory of only 1 byte. Then everything crashed.
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A man told me that his Grandfather was a Window Cleaner
and that the last thing his Grandfather said to him before he died
was 'For heavens sake stop shaking the Ladder'
A man had an obsession with Supermarkets. His Wife decided to leave him because of this.
As she made for the door he held up his hand and shouted Wait Rose! (Waitrose is a leading
UK Supermarket chain)
and that the last thing his Grandfather said to him before he died
was 'For heavens sake stop shaking the Ladder'
A man had an obsession with Supermarkets. His Wife decided to leave him because of this.
As she made for the door he held up his hand and shouted Wait Rose! (Waitrose is a leading
UK Supermarket chain)
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I've been needing this today. Thanks to everyone who put forth effort to make me laugh. Have medicene to give to a dog that I try to have patience with but today she has really pressed her luck to the breaking point. She has to have the stuff so she will get better & she avoids me. Thats ok,, she is beside me on the floor right now not knowing she is getting the meds. LOL
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A collage professor didn't believe in God. Every year at the beginning of his class, he would get up in front of the class & say very loudly "There is no God. If there is a God that exists today come up front & prove to me that he is real". Every year no one did anything until one year he was doing the same thing, putting God down & challenging anyone to come up front to prove that God does exist. Room was silent. He started in on his jollies about Christians being cowards & that God isn't real after all. Then, this Marine got up, the professor started in on him about God. The Marine said nothing, proceeded up front, starred at the professor & decked him. As the startled professor was looking at him from the floor, the Marine simply said "God is busy, He sent me".