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There was a guy from L.A. that rode a bus out to the mountains. He got in that good, clean mountain air and fainted. They had to bring him to the back of the bus to breath the exhaust fums to bring him around.
A burglar breaks into a house and starts putting items in his bag and hears "Jesus is watching you!" He looks around in the dark and sees nothing so he keeps shoving valuables in his sack soon again he hears "Jesus is watching you" he looks around sees no one but calls out " whose there" but nothing so he continues his crime pretty soon right next to his head he hears "Jesus is watching you" he looks up to see a bird cage with a big parrot
inside the robber says "who are you?" The bird replies "I'm Moses " the burglar laughs and says, "what kind of ridiculous people name their bird Moses?" The bird replies " the same people who name their Pitbull Jesus" so just remember all you who are thinking about stealing this holiday season Jesus might be watching you!