How to remove all the toxicity from your life.

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Jun 10, 2019
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#21
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Ok, where do I begin here. Firstly, this passage is in Proverbs, not Matthew. Secondly, they mean 2 completely different things. The horse to water thing is about how you can teach someone something all day long but in the end it's on them to actually apply it. There probably is some element of truth there and probably a similar passage; but I'd have to do some searching on that; the saying itself though, is certainly not biblical; it also doesn't really apply to my original message even if that be the case. As for the verse you gave; this is in the book of Proverbs, a book pertaining to wisdom; here this is saying we can make preparations to be successful; but ultimately it is God who gets the glory. That is very different from the other saying.
Yup you can teach something all day long but in the end it’s Gods will that will work it out not ours.

You can lead a horse to water or dress it for battle, can’t make the horse drink or win a battle
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
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#22
My argument here is simply that all people are toxic, if sinful and toxic are equatable. Certainly, there are some sins, or toxic behaviors that do warrant a cutoff, such as unrepentance, sexual immorality, and others the Bible mentions; but my issue is that toxic people tend to not think they themselves are toxic.
Nah toxic doesn't give the right image to me. Someone else's sin doesn't hurt my salvation. Toxic gives off the impression that if I get close they will make me sick. We are called to evangelize and this is being amidst the sinners.

Toxic to me is a term I wouldn't use for everyone. To me that is normally to describe personality.
 
Feb 9, 2014
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#23
Nah toxic doesn't give the right image to me. Someone else's sin doesn't hurt my salvation. Toxic gives off the impression that if I get close they will make me sick. We are called to evangelize and this is being amidst the sinners.

Toxic to me is a term I wouldn't use for everyone. To me that is normally to describe personality.
If you, as a Christian, are cutting people off due to personality, than that is intentional creating of division, which the Bible calls sin, and says you are self-condemned
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
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#24
Toxicity does not mean all sin. Toxicity refers to behaviors that negatively impact you personally. This fantasy idea that people actually mean all sin when they say toxicity doesn't sound the slightest bit familiar to me. In fact this is the first time I've ever heard that idea.
Cutting toxic people out of your life has nothing to do with being holier than thou. It's about recognizing when a person in your life is a detriment.
Toxicity has a specific idea in mind and trying to broaden than meaning well beyond what is intended, then applying spirituality to it to reinforce this false idea doesn't make it right.
Going by your concepts it is a sin for a woman to leave a husband that beats her regularly because she risks becoming holier than thou and condemns herself.
But ususally when you apply a real world scenario to someones faulty ideas they suddenly have to rearrange their vviewto continue justifying it. So i wonder if you'll agree that that woman should stay to avoid being judgmental, or if you'll have to alter things to explain why it's somehow different.
 
Jun 10, 2019
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#25
If you, as a Christian, are cutting people off due to personality, than that is intentional creating of division, which the Bible calls sin, and says you are self-condemned
sometimes it doesn’t matter what anyone says people will do what people do, let’s say just believing in God I know people who just don’t or won’t or whatever believe in a creator a God. I still talk to them and think of them as a friend but there is a divide if I talk about God to much they get angry and say don’t want to here it.

do I keep talking with them to a point where they don’t want to be around me or what. how would you handle such a encounter.
 
Feb 9, 2014
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#26
Toxicity does not mean all sin. Toxicity refers to behaviors that negatively impact you personally. This fantasy idea that people actually mean all sin when they say toxicity doesn't sound the slightest bit familiar to me. In fact this is the first time I've ever heard that idea.
Cutting toxic people out of your life has nothing to do with being holier than thou. It's about recognizing when a person in your life is a detriment.
Toxicity has a specific idea in mind and trying to broaden than meaning well beyond what is intended, then applying spirituality to it to reinforce this false idea doesn't make it right.
Going by your concepts it is a sin for a woman to leave a husband that beats her regularly because she risks becoming holier than thou and condemns herself.
But ususally when you apply a real world scenario to someones faulty ideas they suddenly have to rearrange their vviewto continue justifying it. So i wonder if you'll agree that that woman should stay to avoid being judgmental, or if you'll have to alter things to explain why it's somehow different.
The problem here is that your example of "toxic" behavior is a sinful behavior, in the physical abuse. So, the woman would be justified in leaving. As mentioned before, there indeed are sins that warrant fleeing the situation--sexual immorality, divisiveness, unrepentance; and I would say physical abuse would fall in this category as well (I think there was a different view on the matter at the time, but not really sure). But I don't agree that any annoyance or small sin is justification for cutoff.
Again, my issue is taking the word toxic, calling other people toxic because they are sinful; all the while never repenting of their own toxicity, aka sin. The Bible says our love for the family of God must far surpass that of the world. We will never do that if we continue removing people from our lives.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#27
Hmm... decisions, decisions...

Do I bring up the "pearls before swine" verse? Nah, the OP would just argue about it, probably try to claim it does not pertain to avoiding toxic people.

Do I mention that the OP's use of "toxic" doesn't match at all with what most people mean when they refer to toxic people? Nah, that has already been tried and the OP seems oblivious to the point.

Wait... reality check. Is the OP even listening to anybody else's points? It seems all the OP cares about is arguing.

*Lynx scrolls up to check...

Whoa, definitely! Instead of considering facts other people bring up, the OP keeps looking for ways to shoot down anything anybody else says. That is one good example of a toxic person.

Congratulations missufan01. You are a toxic person we should avoid. You stir up arguments just for the sake of arguing a dubious point and blithely ignore anything anybody says that might disturb your arguments.
 
Feb 1, 2020
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#28
This is merely the word that the younger feminists and the effeminate men like to use to malign the truth and the good ways of God, most often used to malign masculinity. Don't worry about them too much, try as they might they are unable to change the right judgements of God.
 
Feb 9, 2014
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#29
Hmm... decisions, decisions...

Do I bring up the "pearls before swine" verse? Nah, the OP would just argue about it, probably try to claim it does not pertain to avoiding toxic people.

Do I mention that the OP's use of "toxic" doesn't match at all with what most people mean when they refer to toxic people? Nah, that has already been tried and the OP seems oblivious to the point.

Wait... reality check. Is the OP even listening to anybody else's points? It seems all the OP cares about is arguing.

*Lynx scrolls up to check...

Whoa, definitely! Instead of considering facts other people bring up, the OP keeps looking for ways to shoot down anything anybody else says. That is one good example of a toxic person.

Congratulations missufan01. You are a toxic person we should avoid. You stir up arguments just for the sake of arguing a dubious point and blithely ignore anything anybody says that might disturb your arguments.
Yes, I have been listening.
I had a guy tell me that the proverb of leading a horse to water is found in Matthew 10, which was a lie, and then found a verse in Proverbs that mentioned a horse being prepared for battle and said they were the same--they are not.

All along I have maintained the phrase "if toxic and sin are equatable." What most people say is that one can be toxic without sinning. But 90% of the time, when asked for example, they will give an example of a sin, such as abuse, or people who are addicted to drugs. I have no issue with boundaries with these people, but their issues are only toxic in the sense they are sinning.
The only one that semi-maintained the notion that toxic did not equal sin was cutoff because of their personality; though I'm not sure what they meant exactly by personality, which again I don't agree with, because the Bible tells us to reconcile, and that the eye cannot say to the foot, I don't need you, for the body is made of many parts. I have used Scriptural statements in all my answers.

My goal is not in quarreling but that we arrive to truth for a subject that is prevalent in today's society. I simply do not blindly accept their answers if it does not appear to be biblically accurate, so i push so that either I or they come to an understanding of the truth. Remember, just because the masses agree a teaching is good does not necessarily mean it is biblical or God-honoring. I feel like how MOST people use the term toxicity is the way the word for sin was intended, which to me is a very dangerous, slippery slope.

When asked for Scripture, I was given verses that aren't even in the Bible, or their argument that toxicity is just some sort of negative feeling or vibe they get from a person that feels like a detriment to them. I want to dig deeper into that aspect of toxicity. The only time there was a possibility it wasn't sin is that one found another annoying. But even then, I may be inclined to think there was an idolatry of man issue--but with reservation..as that may or may not be the case. This is probably the best argument for the other side.

The way I see it is that we are to "bear with one another in love" and to be and to strive for unity as much as possible. I just feel that the toxicity teaching has created far more divisions then I think Christians should be allowing.
 
Feb 9, 2014
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#30
Hmm... decisions, decisions...

Do I bring up the "pearls before swine" verse? Nah, the OP would just argue about it, probably try to claim it does not pertain to avoiding toxic people.

Do I mention that the OP's use of "toxic" doesn't match at all with what most people mean when they refer to toxic people? Nah, that has already been tried and the OP seems oblivious to the point.

Wait... reality check. Is the OP even listening to anybody else's points? It seems all the OP cares about is arguing.

*Lynx scrolls up to check...

Whoa, definitely! Instead of considering facts other people bring up, the OP keeps looking for ways to shoot down anything anybody else says. That is one good example of a toxic person.

Congratulations missufan01. You are a toxic person we should avoid. You stir up arguments just for the sake of arguing a dubious point and blithely ignore anything anybody says that might disturb your arguments.
As for Matthew 7 - about swine/pigs: here is the verse:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.

Actually...wouldn't this reinforce the very thing I'm trying to convey? There is much debate over who is meant by swine in this passage...many consider it to be simply people who don't appreciate you; for a very long time the common understanding was that swine meant unbeliever; while others thought it meant those living in sin.

https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/matthew-7-6.html That's just one link but again, I don't think it will change anyone's opinion of the meaning.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
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#31
Just my thoughts...

Some toxic examples...

A person is unkind, abrasive and hyper-critical to the point of hurtful, constantly looking to find fault in others, thinking the worst, which is different from giving constructive feedback. Or perhaps unstable, never knowing when the person might become abusive, physically and/or verbally. Another example, and this one I have been guilty of in my life... when insecurity and ego run a muck...

Should we love those not so easy to love...yes

Can toxicity help teach us, especially how not to be...yes

Are toxic ppl and actions to be excused, saying maybe they can not help it or hey we all fall short, even though we all do...no

Do we forgive them and ourselves for poor behavior...yes

Do we genuinely care about them, try and help them with kind and honest feedback....yes

Do we pray for God's revealing in their lives and ours...yes

Do we avoid hanging out with them...I do and I try to take steps to avoid my own toxic tendencies.

Ignoring or allowing toxicity in our lives seems to do one thing for sure...

It guarantees an exponential growth curve of toxicity in our lives.

Praise the Lord for His help and for healthy steps taken to heal and correct.

No one is perfect, we all have areas of imperfection in our being, but behavior that hurts others or ourselves, should be tended to as not to create more burden, brokenness and toxicity.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#32
I don't think it will change anyone's opinion of the meaning.
This right here. You are absolutely right, because you are using a very different definition of "toxic." When you change the definition, of course it will change how we handle "toxic" people.

But if you go around changing definitions to suit what you want, then communication is futile and confusing so we should not talk to you anyway.
 
Feb 9, 2014
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#33
This right here. You are absolutely right, because you are using a very different definition of "toxic." When you change the definition, of course it will change how we handle "toxic" people.

But if you go around changing definitions to suit what you want, then communication is futile and confusing so we should not talk to you anyway.
my definition is going by the example people have been giving me
-abuse
-drug dealer
-annoying (some say energy draining)
-to some extent, unbelievers/non-Christians, also those who continue sinning knowing their sin (aka unrepentance)
-personality issues

This is not my definition, this is what the members have told me. Most of this is sin.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#34
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
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#35
My argument here is simply that all people are toxic, if sinful and toxic are equatable. Certainly, there are some sins, or toxic behaviors that do warrant a cutoff, such as unrepentance, sexual immorality, and others the Bible mentions; but my issue is that toxic people tend to not think they themselves are toxic.
Urban dictionary- Toxic is a group of people who are rude and can't be nice. They are not true to people around them. They need an attitude check.Their personalities are so unappealing its make the people around them suffer and turn rude as well.

Definition of toxic
(Entry 1 of 3)
1: containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitationtoxic wastea toxic radioactive gasan insecticide highly toxic to birds

2: exhibiting symptoms of infection or toxicosis the patient became toxic two days later

3: extremely harsh, malicious, or harmfultoxic sarcasm

4: relating to or being an asset that has lost so much value that it cannot be sold on the market

Not all people are toxic.
If you, as a Christian, are cutting people off due to personality, than that is intentional creating of division, which the Bible calls sin, and says you are self-condemned
Nope the Bible tells us to.

Matthew 7:6 New International Version (NIV)
6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Matthew 10:14 New International Version (NIV)
14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.

Some are too toxic and we need discernment in handling certain situations.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#36
my definition is going by the example people have been giving me
-abuse
-drug dealer
-annoying (some say energy draining)
-to some extent, unbelievers/non-Christians, also those who continue sinning knowing their sin (aka unrepentance)
-personality issues

This is not my definition, this is what the members have told me. Most of this is sin.
That is not even close to what toxic means in common parlance. The Urban dictionary reference above this post is the most accurate.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#37
the whole 'thing is', is that God's people are IN the WORLD, but, NOT OF the world' -
we are certainly supposed to minister to sinners, and there are many examples of this in scripture -
but, we are not to 'hang-out-as-buds', because,
it is written:
'evil communication corrupts 'good-manners''...
 
Jun 10, 2019
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#38
Q
All along I have maintained the phrase "if toxic and sin are equatable." .
I’ve noticed you’ve consistently say it as IF toxic, seems your not even sure of your stance.
 
Jun 10, 2019
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#39
Yes, I have been listening.
I had a guy tell me that the proverb of leading a horse to water is found in Matthew 10, which was a lie, and then found a verse in Proverbs that mentioned a horse being prepared for battle and said they were the same--they are not.
Accusing others of lying is toxic in its self, when someone’s understanding of a verse doesn’t line up with your understanding doesn’t equal a lie, what kind of understanding are you pushing?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#40
Then again, some people are just toxic regardless the types of sin they have committed. Some negative obnoxious people will simply suck the life out of you if you allow them to do so.